Bringing Christmas to Alan

This has become part of our holiday tradition. It's something I really look forward to. It's so nice my sister is here so her family can do it with us, but I really miss having Chris and his family help who are in CA. See more photos here.

One of the things I have noticed about doing things for my brother are the questions it brings to my children. I know they don't understand death so it has become a great way for them to feel comfortable asking. They want to know when my brother is coming back or when they will see him? I love that I have the answers for them. That we have the gospel in our life. That we can be together forever as a family. I'm so grateful these times have become happy teaching moments instead of sad times.

Merry Christmas! May your holiday be filled with love, joy and of course remembrance of the Savior.

The new Blogger!

Did you see that blogger is now out of Beta. They have their new version available. I am tempted to do it because of the new perks.

1. labeling
2. you can make your blog totally private so the only people that can read it are the ones you give permission. I find this feature to be a major plus. I have no idea who lurks on my blog and to be honest it scares me. So I guess it will weed out the lurkers. I welcome all readers I just would like to know who you are. :)

Hopefully all the problems are out of the new version because I may be switching sooner than later. Anyone else ready to switch?

edited to add
FYI...the word beta means the last software testing phase before a production rollout. So if something is beta they are testing the software for bugs and problems that may occur. If you switched before now then you became their guinea pigs. I think hotmail is in this phase right now, but I opted out of it because I could no longer use link or see photos. Anyway, blogger is out of the testing period and the new version is now available.

Pink Christmas arrived on my door today.

I am having a hard time not opening it. I thought I would just open it right away, but have been convincing myself to wait for Christmas. Now I'm not sure that I should.

Are you waiting until Christmas morning to open your Pink Christmas gift or have you done it already?

ten years

december 19, 1996

It feels like a lifetime (in a good way). In fact it's very difficult for me to remember a time when he wasn't in my life. He is so apart of everything I do and everything I am. He's my best friend and the one I turned to. He comforts me and makes me feel safe. Most importantly he makes me feel loved.

Last night we went to dinner, Bella has a recital tonight, and we reminisced the past ten years together. I was a lot of fun recounting the houses we've lived in, how many cars we've owned, our breakdowns...so on and so forth. It made me utterly grateful for all the good and bad times we experienced together because it has brought us to this place we're at right now. This close safe intimate place.

In honor of 10 years I'll give you 10 reasons why I love this man of mine.

1. He loves me and desires to know the woman I am.
2. He has such a great sense of humor and keeps me laughing.
3. His ability to communicate. He listens. He talks. He wants to know what I'm thinking.
4. He has the ability to see the woman that I can become.
5. His first priority is to his family.
6. He has a love for learning.
7. He has a love for life. To live his life without regrets. To make sure he's doing all that he can to create the life he has dreamed of.
8. He's extremely motivated. He goes after what he wants and he's not afraid to work.
9. He's talented and not just as an artist. He's an amazing teacher and loyal friend.
10. He's deep. He's complicated. He's mind never stops.

Adam, if your reading this, I love. I need. Thank you for talking. For listening. For healing. For being you. For making me laugh. For skipping with me in the parking lot. For learning patience. For loving me. Here's to the last ten years and for 10 more fabulous years ahead.

One of the first & favorite pictures Adam's drawn for me.

photo stamps

Ok tell me is this not the coolest thing you've ever seen? I've seen others do this before and have wanted to personalize me very own stamps, but never wanted to pay the extra price. Well I just couldn't help it. This photo was just screaming to me to be on a stamp. It's even more enjoyable sending out cards now. Anyway, I had them made here. Check them out they are always having deals.

Can you believe Christmas is next weekend? I'm sort of in a panic. Does anyone else feel like they are forgetting something or someone?

Hope everyone is getting a lot done this weekend.

meaning behind the 12 days of Christmas

I found this years ago and thought I would share. I think it's quite interesting. Keep in mind if you are doing the 12 days of Christmas for someone you should be starting tomorrow.

Enjoy!

Partridge in a pear tree represents Jesus

2 turtle doves - represent joining of old and new testaments

3 french hens - represent trinity

4 calling birds - 4 evangelists and their gifts

5 golden rings - represents 5 books of the old testament

6 geese a laying - 6 days of creation of earth

7 swans a swimming - seven gifts of the Holy Spirit (prophecy, service, teaching, encouragement, giving, leadership, and mercy)

8 maids a milking - 8 beatitudes which spell out blessings for the lowly, such as milkmaids. Most familiar beatitude is "Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth"

9 ladies dancing - 9 fruits of the Holy Spirit (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control)

10 lords a leaping - ten commandments

11 pipers piping - 11 apostles who were true to Jesus

12 drummers drumming - 12 doctrines of the creed that summarizes the central beliefs of Catholicism

It's a winter wonderland out there

This morning we woke up to tons and tons of snow. It's at least 6 inches, if not more. I would know because I was out for an hour shoveling both driveways. It was so beautiful and surprising warm I didn't mind at all.


Tess has been asking the last several weeks, "when are we going to make a snowman?" I kept telling her we're waiting for the right kind of snow. So this morning when she saw that I was outside she immediately got dress with her boots and wanted to come join me. She even asked me if it was the right kind of snow. I told Megan to get ready as well and when I came back in to check on her this is what I found. Sweet little Megan in her dress up cloths. All I could do was laugh.After changing Megan and trying to find their gloves and hats we headed out to make our snowman. As it turns out, it was more challenging than I thought so Mr. Snowman, as they fondly call him, ended up quite small. I couldn't understand it, the snow was perfect for packing, but for some reason we couldn't get the balls big enough without them falling apart. Apparently I'm out of practice. Despite the size of him we had a lot of fun. Well I should say Tess and I did. Megan gave up after a while. I don't blame her as I couldn't find her gloves so I know she was cold. She did come back out to put on the carrot which she was thrilled about. Actually I think Tess' favorite part was looking for the sticks and rocks...she had to find the perfect ones. Winter is not my favorite, but playing in the snow like this totally redeems it. For those of you that got snow, how much did you get? I'm curious what a difference living on the bench is like since it's our first winter here.

it's a gift and everything we choose to make it

I sat down to read some blogs and the first few I visited, Jill's post about being comfortable with who we are and Crystalyn's post about being a happiness maker, really got me thinking about my life, this past year, and what I've been striving for. To be honest I think about this stuff all the time and actually talk about it with Adam a lot. I'm desperate to find the key to being completely happy all the time. Though I think that's a bit crazy, everyone has bad days, but I'm determine to make my life mine and stop wasting this beautiful gift that is life.

I'm, on a whole, a negative person or I should say I tend to see life in a negative light. I believe I have always been this way, but to tell you the truth I have no idea when my thoughts drifted. It's nothing I'm proud of, but the fact still remains the same. I realize the effect it has on me and those that are around me is very damaging. For years I have been desperate to change it, but have found it to be quite a difficult task. Almost to the point where I've felt it to be an impossible feat. I've definitely given up a few times and have, as a result, found myself in a very lonely place. Once again as I began my journey I was determined to make it right, though I knew it was far beyond what I was capable of and I couldn't do it alone. In searching for the right way to overcome my tendencies I came across some very powerful realizations about myself.

Being sad...this sad place I find myself frequently has become very comforting. To the point where I was afraid to let it go. I know that sounds very strange, but when something has been with you for so long it's hard to imagine life without it. I mean really why would I want to be uncomfortable. Silly me, that is what this life is about. Happiness isn't something that is given to us, it's something we attain. It's something we work for everyday of our life. It's uncomfortable. It pushes us to be all we can. It meant everything in the world to me once I realized what I wanted was in my control. I have the power to make my life what I desire. A few weeks ago Michelle quoted from the book "She", which I ordered and still never received, "She designed a life she loved." It struck me so deeply, but so did the word's Heidi Swapp wrote about the quote:

To me, this statement is about choices. It doesn't say anything about her circumstances, her strengths or weaknesses. It doesn't mention her challenges or her triumphs -- only the fact that she made a decision. That her life was HERs and she knew that it was too precious, too short and too wonderful not to LOVE.

I just kept saying to myself. "That's it. It's all up to me and me alone." Sounds simple, doesn't it? I believe the answers always are, it's the execution that becomes difficult. In Jill's Saturday post she gave the perfect quote to explain what I mean,

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. .." --marianne williamson

Once we find out what we are capable of it becomes harder and harder to sit idly by as life goes on without us; however, sometimes we do laze about and that's when we wished we never knew our potential. Ok, some of you may not feel this way, but I can totally relate. It's easier not to expect anything from myself. That's one of the reasons why I find being a SAHM (stay at home mom) difficult. There is no one evaluating you or making you responsible for your day/time. Again, it's up to me.

I have been amazed what going out of my comfort zone really feels like....awkward, uneasy, but always always rewarding in the end. Nothing in life comes without effort. NOTHING! That knowledge alone has given me so much hope and power and to be completely honest fear, because in the end I am responsible for the life I created. Man I have regretted a lot of things in my day, but I am determined not to regret my life. Truly it is a gift.

Done!

2005 card

Finally our Christmas cards are done. Hooray! Ok, I'm not completely done as I still need to pick them up from getting printed and stuff them in the envelops, but the hardest part is done. Adam was going to do them this year, but I played around in Photoshop anyway to create something. You never know what will come up. Turns out once he saw what I did he liked it enough to use them instead. I think he is so busy right now and doesn't need another deadline.

I love the tradition of send and receiving Christmas cards. I've always enjoyed sending them out and even more than that, I love receiving them. It's just about a "good mail" day everyday in December. I need to pull out all our creations just so I can remember all the cards we've sent the past 10 years. Wow, I can't believe there have been so many.

I think the rest of us our safe

Friday night we all went to sleep like every other night until about 11:58pm when Megan woke up puking all over the place. Adam was the first one to get to her and I followed shortly after. We got her all clean up and laid her back down to sleep with a water and fresh jammies. For all of you who know this flu has been going around in the extended family, so I felt slightly prepared, yet I still wasn't prepared for what happened the rest of the night. Megan proceeded to wake up 17 time puking every time throughout the night. It was literally every 20 minutes on the dot. Adam couldn't get back to sleep after the 3rd time so he ended up watching TV all night and joined me when Megan needed help. I couldn't believe what was happening and after about the 7th time I turned to him and said, "See you in 20 mintues." Finally around 3:20am he begged me to stay in bed and he would take care of her. I must say I hate to get up, but when it comes to my kids needing help I have a hard time letting go. I was however, grateful for his suggestion...I don't remember being so exhausted. I felt so badly for her and was just grateful she was at least able to sleep from 4:40am-10:30am. She did start to feel better once the afternoon came, which I was so grateful for. She was cracking jokes and playing with the girls.

That night around midnight Adam got really sick. He was up all night again dealing with himself. I must say I was very fearful of who would be next. The next few nights when I put the older girls to bed I talked them thru what to do if they felt sick in the night. As it turns out no one else has gotten it. I feel confident that it's out of the house, but you never know. Every night I go to bed I pray that was the last of it and so far so good. I am hoping this will be it for the winter season, but somehow I doubt it.

Have you guys been dealing with sickness in your home?

You would not believe...

That I actually think about posting everyday, but for one reason or another it doesn't always happen. Suffice to say I have some catching up to do...as usual. Here are a few photos from the night we all went to temple square. It was sooo cold I'm not sure we even stayed out there for longer than 30 minutes. Despite the winter chill it's a fun life long tradition that I'm glad I was able to experience again with my family.




My basement has been driving me crazy or I should say the lack of organization for my girl's toys has been driving me crazy. To think that Christmas is on it's way is enough for me to try to do something about this problem. So all day yesterday I put up shelves, bought storage bins, and organized the toys. I found it so satisfying to do and the girls even got way into it. They each took one of the small bins for themselves and demanded a label for it. This started the labeling craze so now all the bins are neatly labeled and in place. It's unbelievable how much stuff you find just by emptying everything out and starting over. I must say when I look at the closet and realize it's completely full, I don't know where the new toys are going to go. We for sure need to have each of the kids give away one big item. It just gets to be too much. Anyone else with me on that? So I mentioned the girls were so excited...Bella said, "we have a new house." and Tess wanted to have a sleepover in the living room. I was glad they were as thrilled with the project as I. Perhaps they will keep it looking like this for more than 24 hours. We'll see I guess, but I'm not counting on it.