new blogs

my sister-in-laws got on the blog train. hip hip hooray...as my kids would say. Looking forward to reading their deep brilliant thoughts.

Jill
Lori

enjoy....links also found in sidebar

resolution...INTENTIONS

I like the way Ali Edwards put it in the January 2006 Creating Keepsakes...think of resolutions as intentions. I truly need to be honest with myself and look at my track record. I have not been so great in the past about completing my goals. So I find in more fitting to say intentions and then I won't feel so guilty if I don't get to them all.

Here it goes.

1. Positive Positive Positive.
2. Read the Scriptures with my family everyday.
3. Hold regular FHE...every Monday night.
4. Do a Layout/Project once a week.
5. Try a new recipe every 2 weeks. (i'm being realistic)
6. Read my Sunday School lesson every week even though I don't get to go.
7. Stay on top of my fly lady goals...organization.
8. Continue to read and educated myself in the things i am interesed in like photography.
9. Attend the temple once a month.
10. Continue to write my thoughts so to be more comfortable with me.
11. Stop talking and just do. ACTION!


Sure feels good to get it out there. Here's to keeping my Intentions and really striving to be a different, better, more unique me.

new thing

Ok so I have known about this web site for quite some time and even started to put my binder together, but stopped. First mistake...I didn't follow through. It seemed some of the ideas didn't work for me with 3 little kids, one being a baby. Of course i was completely wrong.

I'm sitting here thinking I need something, I want something to help me get my life together. So starting January 2 I am getting back on the flylady plan. She rocks and her ideas are really great for someone who isn't a natural organizer, but wants to be. Check it out and good luck.

Merry Christmas

Ahh Christmas Morning! Such an exciting time as a child. Not quite the same as an adult but a I learning to love the change just living through my children. It is fun to see them starting to get excited about Christmas and the concept of gifts on Christmas morning. Interesting to point out my children slept in until 8am. Normally my husband and I would be cheering, my kids are early risers, but I was up excited waiting for them to get up. So I had showered and was reading by the time everyone decided it was time to go out and start the festivities.

So Bella got what she always wanted and was pretty much busy playing the rest of the time. Tess got a dress up box and had to put one of the dresses right away and of course megan had to get on in the action. So apparently we were all dressed up this year.

I must add it was very nice to go to church on Sunday afternoon and celebrate what this holiday is really all about.

this week

so two of my girls were sick on wednesday...than lucky me when i actually had a night out with my friends i end up coming home earily...sick. it sucked. i hated everything about it, and all i could think about was how i never want to be pregnant again. it was that same nausious feeling i had for 7 weeks. in times like that i truly can't believe i endure 7 weeks of feel so crappy and on top of it taking care of 2 other kids. so here i am sick not feeling well and my husband gets sick. sadly i had no sympathy because 1) i was still not feeling my best 2) all i could think about was i did that for 7 weeks.

so glad everyone is feeling well again!

2 parties...the holidays are crazy

Sadly we had two parties scheduled for the same night. A family party and Adam's work party. We had no choice because of Adam's position at work we had to at least make a showing to the work party. So while we were gone my kids were with their cousins and Santa Clause showed up.

I heard they were very excited. Too bad I didn't get to see their reaction. When we got back Bella did tell me he (Santa) forgot to bring the heffalump gift she wants. I explained to her that it was probably for Christmas morning, though disappointed I could tell she is really looking forward to Christmas now. She also told me she explained to Santa to make sure and come to our old house and not the new one. So adorable to be so concerned that he would go to the wrong house. Made me smile. Now if I can only get this gift to show up on time (I'm still waiting on the heffalump toy to come in the mail).

busy busy day

So I have had a very busy day that in an instant began something entirely different. Two of my three children are sick...throwing up to be exact. Something I wasn't expecting and yet something I am embracing. Not that I delight in them being sick, but I actually don't mind their mellow change and just being with them. So of all the stuff I needed to accomplish today I find myself homebound enjoying the quiet of the day. Hanging out with my kids just chillin'. Listening to David Gray a and soaking up the sun that has evaded us for days. I just love the way the sun glistens off the fresh fallen snow.

So here's to being positive and making good out of an unpleasant situation....and they say I don't have it in me.

mellow vs. a beat

As I put in David Gray my sweet Tess said to me, "not daddy's song, the girls songs". It was so funny that she would put it that way. I knew exactly what she wanted. She wanted to listen to music with a beat that was easy to dance to, not the mellow deep kind. This girl love to dance.

I understand how she feels. Dancing and loud music has a way of helping me cope and I enjoy the break and release I feel when I move. But there is always a time and place for the songs that make you think, that take you to a place you need to visit...and right now I'm in one of those moods.

girls music next!!

Daddy's girl

So there was a time when I was envious of her relationship with her daddy. When she hurts herself she wants him. When she gets tired she wants him to lay with her. When she wakes up in the morning he is the first thing she talks about. When she gets in bed with us she cuddles up to him. When she watches a movie/TV she wants to sit on his lap. When we go out she wants him to get her out of the car. When the sun starts to go down she asks when he's coming home.

It's taken me some time, but I get it. I get it Tess. I understand. I was a daddy's girl too. It's a priceless relationship not everyone gets to have. Cherish it always and never question how much daddy adores you and always will.

I must admit, even though I've felt a bit envious at times, as a mother it's a beautiful experience to see the too of them together. I just love this photo.

no sleep

So its no secret at times I find it hard to sleep. A lot is going through my head right now, especially with Christmas and moving around the corner. Of course I'm finding time to do everything else that doesn't really need to get done right now. For instance I've made several photoshows...pretty much just your basic slide shows. I sure had a lot of fun making them. My girls love them too.


And I just thought I'd share these photos of Megan and Bella I took a few weeks ago since they scream fall to me and I have yet to share. Enjoy.

click here to check out the photoshows.

enjoying the foliage

We realized this afternoon we really hadn't taken the girls up the canyon to enjoy the foliage. It's quite late in the season so we just decided to take a drive up the canyon to see what we could find. We ended up in Lamb's Canyon, which I've never been to, in search of fall.

It was a beautiful drive as we wound in and out of fall treasures, but I must admit I was getting nervous as far as finding foliage. There were fabulous trees full of color along the road to enjoy from the car, but no where we could pull over and walk around. Toward the end of our drive we finally found a little pocket we could get out, walk around, and of course take some photos. We had to climb a little ways and there was some inevitable complaining, but it turned out to be a beautiful little spot.

Questionire

Apparently this is going around on other blogs, but my sister-in-law did this by email for friends and family. I wanted to share. I thought it was a perfect snapshot of who I am and what i like today.

1. 2 names you go by:
1. aimes
2. mamy

2 parts of your heritage:
1. German
2. English

2 things that scare you:
1. disease (cancer)
2. natural disasters

2 of your everyday essentials:
1. Quiet time
2. chocolate

2 things you are wearing right now:
1. Black pajama pants
2. Grey sweat-shirt
it is 6am

2 of your favorite bands or musical artists (at the moment):
1. David Gray
2. my gym playlist on my ipod

2 favorite songs (at the moment):
1. Diappearing World (David Gray)
2. alibi (David Gray)

2 things you want in a relationship (other than real love):
1. understood loved appreciated
2. Laughter and Silliness

2 truths:
1. my belief in Christ
2. i don't give myself enough credit

2 physical things that appeal to you (in the opposite sex):
1. eyes, boyish face
2. fit

2 of your favorite hobbies (aside from scrapbooking):
1. Photography
2. Cooking

2 things you want really badly:
1. Enjoy life...moment by moment
2. A great relationship with those I love.

2 places you want to go on vacation:
1. British Columbia
2. Europe (Italy France England )

2 things you want to do before you die:
1. Feel like i did something of worth...made a difference!
2. Raise my children

2 ways that you are stereotypically a chick:
1. care about what others think
2. indecisive (not sure if that is just chicks)

2 things you are thinking about right now:
1. House decisions. specifically paint color in the kitchen
2. how to be a better person and mom

2 stores you shop at:
1. Target
2. internet

A shamless plug

My very good friend, Eryn (love this girl) started a company On the Hip selling long length tees for under and outer wear. Some are designed to go under cloths and some stand on there own. Check out her web site On the Hip Clothing for her entire collection. There are several styles and all made with quality materials. My favorite is the long sleeve hoodie and completely unique to On the Hip. I Love it. ENJOY!

life cycle

So my cycle, the one where i can't stand myself or my life that last about a week, has come and stayed with me...its been a month now. I am deeply sadened by my relationship with my 3 small children. I feel I am not a good mother and they truly deserve better than me. I have nothing to bring to the table. I am not very smart. I am completely pessimistic. Constantly questioning myself. Oh I could go on, but I am not trying to bag on myself just understand me.

These thought all came when I was talking to my husband about me. He asked what i like about myself and sadly I could think of nothing. Well the only thing I thought of was I can "love" really well, and still I question that. But it is something. I can also pick up on things quickly and when i want to do something I usually can do it well, but sadly I am not feeling that way about life. I feel I am getting it all wrong.

hopefully day by day I can break out of this rut.

much needed time

Now begins my psuedo vacation. My mom willing is watching the kids for a day a night and half a day. So grateful to her for doing this as a I deperately need time to regroup. Being a single mom these days is not easy.

Something I don't want to forget.

My sweet 3 year old daughter Tess, who is quite the daddy's girl and at times I wonder how she feels about me, told me during a converation "i love you both the same". Referring to her daddy and me. It was so adorable. It's moments/random thoughts like these I will miss the most when they get older.

Thank you Tess for making me smile.

me and her

It's hard to admit this, but me and her, we didn't get off to the best start. It's not that we didn't connect or get that mother/daughter bond from her infancy, quite the opposite, because of her unwavering bond to me she was such a difficult baby that I noticed there was tension between us. I wish the first several months of her life had been different, but the truth is I was trying to figure it out and so was she. After about 9 months the cloud lifted and she enjoyed more people than just me and the burden lifted.

Now, me and her, we're as close as ever enjoying each other and the time we spend together. I pray it will always be this way between us, and yet I know relationships are bound to ebb and flow so I hope and pray we will always find our way back here.

"...because i'm 3"

anytime anyone says anything about the number 3, she always throws her three fingers high in the air and says, "ya, becuase i'm three!"

for example...
i will tell her she can have 3 pieces of candy, "ya, becuase i'm three!"
i will ask her how many carrots she wants, "three, because i'm three"

she is so adorable. i will certainly miss her way.

funny silly sweet

first of all some of my favorite photos ever. i just continued to shoot and these are what i ended up with. she was in such a funny mood today and actually sat and allowed to me take pictures of her. what you see is her to a tee. funny silly sweet.

carving pumpkins

One of our favorite traditions during the month of October is to carve pumpkins. This is our first of probably several that we'll do throughout the month. Certainly a huge hit with the girls.

safe

so katrina has got me thinking. thinking about all the stuff that i am putting off...

72 hour kits for everyone in my family
setting a meeting place in case of emergency
food storage
water storage
what about my memories

since i know in case of emergency my only thoughts will be of my children. my family. making sure they are safe. i will think of nothing else...especially my possessions. however, i know in the days to follow i will be very sad about the memories. i know i have them in my head, but your mind is so funny and can't hold onto everything.

so i have been scanning everything i have (to photos & layouts) and putting them on to discs. i am making several copies so i have them in different places. i am not paranoid just being caucious. this may not even work since a tradgey that would come my way would most likely be in the form of a earthquake. and in that case there is not warning and no safe place.

but i do feel good that i have done it and am currently trying to work on water and 72 hour kits for my family. i have 3 pretty much done. just need to stock up on water bottles that can be easily carried by a child in a backpack. 2 to go.

phew. i'm exhausted.

a new school year

my first born is going to kindergarten today. i am so excited for her. many ask, "will you cry?" NOPE. not that i won't be sad to have her gone everyday, i'm just excited for her to have this experience and for me to only have 2 children at home.

nothing wrong with that.

number 2 is starting preschool today for the first year. i am excited for her as well. she will have the time of her life and hope she is able to make great friendships.

the only problem is one is in the morning and one is in the afternoon. makes for a couple crazy days, but because of our move there was nothing I could do. Oh well, it's still totally worth it.

YAHOO!

happy living small

dreams

You live for them. Aspire to them. They give you something to work for. Something to attain.

My dream has always been simple. I wanted to be a mother....a mother. Thinking about it now makes me laugh because I had no idea what that meant. I had no idea the frustrations that would come along with that title. I had no idea the kind of impact you had on a person. I had no idea the feelings of inadequacy that would arise.

In this world success is celebrated, what you do and how well. In the worlds view I am not a success. I have done nothing. I have made no real money. I haven't even really done motherhood right...unorganized, constantly feeling overwhelmed by my job. Today I am trying not to have these thoughts. To rise above what the world thinks and really what I think of myself, and live life on my terms. As I grow and learn I see all that life can be. All that it can give. I see it will all be worth it in the end as long as I don't give up and let these thoughts of inadequacy enter my mind. As long as I continue to try, to learn, to take action and make my life full and beautiful, anything is possible.

I don't know if I will ever accomplish my desires of getting published, seeing the glass half full, or even being a fabulous mother. What I do know is if my children understand how much I love them, if they trust me, if we know each other and have a meaningful relationship, than I have succeeded. I have been successful in life. Living large in this world and abiding by their rules of success does not appeal to me...

i am happy living small.


I've reach my dream of motherhood and although it isn't all that i thought it would be I know that it can and will be everything I always wanted.

3 daughters and a father

i have been down in my studio a lot lately...well since the no sleeping. i figure i ought to get something accomplished. just recently finished this layout and i love it. i totally lifted it, but love everything about it.

Moving on

So interesting how individuals come into your life, give you what you need, and move on. Life is truly fascinating that way and helps me to see the bigger picture, to more fully understand the plan God laid out for us. We are all connected and all of us here to help each other get back to where we started.

I find myself in that situation. Having moved into an area I thought I would be for at least 10 years, creating relationships I cherish, and yet circumstances show the true nature of my connection...it was the right time in my life to meet this person, learn my lesson, and move on.

There are a few people in my life now that I long to take with me and yet I know because of our place in life it doesn't really make sense. This one woman I am thinking of is many years older than me with children in college and just at a completely different stage in life. She understands me and has taught me so much about myself. She can see beyond the blinders I have on and given me something to hold onto and cherish about the person that I am. Thank you so much for coming into my life. A priceless gift I will not soon forget you have left me with.

insomnia

Not sleeping and going crazy, really I'm dragging hard. Finding it hard to be productive and get anything done during the day. I just want to lay in bed and have my kids take care of themselves, is that so wrong?

The insomnia has been around off and on for the last couple of weeks and I know it's because I have a lot on my mind with what going on in our life right now. A lot of changes and decisions that need to be made, and quickly. I just really want to let it go. I need to let it go so i can sleep. Desperate for sleep.

One thing good about it...I do my best work at night. I always have the best ideas and insights when working in the wee hours. It really has done wonders when trying to figure out the new plans for our new home. Kudos to me for finding something positive in a dire situation.

life update

ok so i haven't really been great at blogging for the last month. So much is going on in my life that i just haven't had time to write, or i should say i haven't taken the time.

What's up, well my husband and I bought a house and we're in the process of remodeling it (right now waiting for plans). We are also working on plans to bulldoze the house we are currently living in and building two houses on our lot.

So like I said, lots going on, lots to think about. I am trying to stay focused and not get stressed out, which is usually my way of dealing with big changes. Honestly I hate doing stuff like this, but i know it will benefit my family greatly (a part of me does like working on a big project). Plus the new house (old house remodeled) will be really awesome. Looking forward to being able to design a home that works for us.

So i am getting my daughter registered for kindergarten and searching for a new preschool. Having a hard time because of the late start, but i know all will fall into place.

Self Portrait

I decided after going through and looking at my most recent photos that I need to make sure I'm in a few of them. The only way I may be able to accomplish my goal is to take them myself. So you may off and on see self portraits of me. Just to prove I was here...not just behind the lens.

celebrating one

The family all got together at our house and celebrated Megan's first year of life. I made a sucker garden cake as found in the Martha Stewart Baby magazine and she loved it. I thought the suckers would be big hit, but had no idea just how big. After getting at the cake she wasn't even interesting in anything else, but eating the suckers. She's definitely a candy girl.

By far her favorite gift was the pink kitty her Nana gave her. I haven't seen her put it down since the party. It will be interesting to see if it will become like Bella's brown bear...on her 24/7.

something

There's just something about this photo I love that keeps me coming back to it. Perhaps it's the way the light is hitting her face and how it shows her beautiful colored golden eyes or the pouty look on her face. I don't know, but what I do know is how much I love it and love her.

her laugh

I will never ever get sick of hearing her laugh. Seriously one of the best sounds in the whole wide world.

10 things i wish i knew in highschool...2peas challenge

Just found the "mem blog challenge" at two peas. I haven't noticed this before, but I am game. Sounds great, especially one involving high school. At times I idealize that time in my life. Things seemed much easier and less complicated, but really when I think about it life is very complicated when your experiencing it. Full of emotions and turmoil...always something going on in a girls world right? I can honestly say I am glad I am done with that, however if i could go back knowing these 10 things i may give it a try.

1. Be honest with yourself...be YOU!
2. If you put your mind to it anything is possible.
3. Tell the boy you always loved that you indeed love him...can't hurt!
4. Be daring with your style.
5. There is a reason why you don't make the varsity squad as a junior.
6. Take all the photography classes you can!
7. Be more open and honest with your feelings...your feelings make you real!
8. Spend as much time with your brother as you can.
9. Never get offended...girls change their minds constantly.
10. embrace mistakes and trials you may face while pacing the halls of HS...remember you will have some of the greatest life altering experiences and learn some invaluable lessons.

This is me 11 years ago dancing. i love dancing so much and miss it, well I do dance all the time with my girls. I really hope that I can take some of my own advice and help my 3 girls through the rough teenage years. Unfortunately and fortunately I know it's life's experiences make us who we are.

walking

She's been walking around the house and now the yard with support from her toy. It's so cute to watch the excitement in her eyes as she move from place to place with ease. I think she is excited about getting off her knees.


It was so cute watching her sisters cheer her on. They too can't wait for Megan to be walking around.

It's her big smile.
Her little button nose.
Her two solitary bottom teeth.
Her bold giggle.
Her contagious smile.

Who am I kidding. I love all of her...every piece.

practice photo

I have been focusing on my photography lately, more specifically composition and find it easier to start with still life (my children are on the move so much i can't keep up, let alone take a picture of them). I was shooting with my Nikon coolpix point and shoot, I'm not sure why I didn't just use my film camera. I guess I enjoy instant gratification to much. It will be nice to finally upgrade...one of these days.

Again enjoying the raining weather. It seems it rains at least twice a week if not more, I know the heat is coming and it will eventually stop so I'll enjoy it while it lasts. Love the smells, sounds, and everything associated with rain. Just can't get enough.

She turning three

Today was Memorial day, but to me it was just another celebration of our Tessinni turning the big 3. We started celebrating on Saturday, her birhtday with my family. We went to dinner and had a party at my parents house where she was spoiled with some gifts. My parents gave her a bike with training wheels and other fun outdoor stuff like chalk.

Adam and I made a puzzle for her. Each side is either a photo or art to reminder her just how much we adore her, plus it's a fun activity for her do.

Monday we spend the afternoon in Eagle Mountain to have yet another celebration. It was such a beautiful day that the kids had a blast running around and playing in the yard. She was again spoiled with gifts, books, puzzle, and a dora ball...she is certainly loved by all.

It's crazy to think she's already 3 years old. She has turned into such a delightful little girl who always keeps Adam and I laughing.

Love you Tess.

books...

"Books humanize a house. They endow rooms with memory, individuality even temptation, as well as the happy chaos of inadvertent color. The contents of people’s bookshelves can be more revelatory than their furniture or their family pictures, which explains why book-filled spaces radiate such intimacy and character." -martha stewart mag

love this quote. working on a layout to use it.

i have never been a reader. somehow it never really caught on as a kids and i find it hard these days to fit it in. i suppose there are things i would rather do, scrapbook, knit, any other project really. i know this is the wrong attitude because reading gives a person so much depth, knowledge, power.

i want to be better. when i do read, i love it. i get so involved in the book, the story, that i don't want to stop. i guess i haven't had a book lately that has made me want to read. i am looking for a good book, a love story, something historical, something to make me want to be a part of the characters life.

i want to go on a ride...i need to start reading again.

mood

today i am in a really crappy mood. i don't know why and i really don't need an explanation, i just want to feel myself again.

it seems like it has been like this for a couple of days now. i can't deal with my life, and yet i have nothing to complain about. my life is great, no problems except the ones i create for myself.

doing the same stuff old day after day is getting to me. it's rare that i have time to for myself because there is always something more important to do, or so it seems. even this morning i had a walk planned with a friend. i really didn't want to go because it just takes time and truly i would rather be doing something else while Megan takes her morning nap than exercise. i did go and i am glad i did, forget about myself for a while, but i still feel blah.

i am better than this. it doesn't have to be this way. my husband always says "your head creates your world". boy is he right about that. if i could just change my attitude life would be so much more enjoyable.

in the end i think that is what i will regret most, creating problems where there aren't any instead of enjoying all the blessing that i have. i don't know how to change it, but i must get past it.

musical gift

I can tell you right now this little 5 year old of mine, Bella, has a musical gift. She's been playing the violin for 3 months now and has picked it up quickly. I think since her recital she's been a bit unsure, she's not so thrilled about performing, but I think it will come in time. I hope the more she performs she will enjoy it because her talent is certainly God given. She amazes me.

product of a raining day

I really love these photos. The flowers a beautiful, it's reminding me of the changing season (a little piece of spring that i am enjoying in my yard), and of course the colors are so vibrant...thanks to the RAIN!



It has been raining off and on for weeks. Apparently the most rain we've received since 1983. I am loving it, especially because of the colors and we desperately need it. So keep it coming, but only for a little while.

her

I wish I could have capture her in focus, but honestly a clearer shot would not have me loving this photo any less. This is her to a tee. Oh how i love her way.

and a silly one.

our story...10 yrs

it's been 10 years since we met or i should say ten years from our first date. its been a crazy, amazing ten years full of funny moments, tears, & laughter.

excerpt from scrapbook:

It all began May 9th 1995, or did it? It looks as if fate was on our side and our story began much earlier. It seems we met in the fall of 1994 or at least I should say you meet me. I was oblivious. On a crisp fall day you skipped your American Heritage class to follow me, who knows if you were going to talk to me that day, but curiosity got the better of you and you left your sister and American Heritage. As it turns out you didn’t talk to me that day, very intuitive on your part; I was never good with cold approaches from men.

You lived in the Riv so you had to walk through Helaman Halls daily to get to campus. This is where you saw me once again; you now knew where I lived. You even walked behind me to class one day and found out my name when a good friend called out to me. It does seem fate was on our side; however, still no approaches. You saw me occasionally during the fall and winter semesters, but many times did not, until two weeks before school got out for the summer. You happened to be walking with your brother-in-law (Randy) through Helaman Halls and saw me with my friends. You paused, thought about talking to me, this was to be your last opportunity, you would not see me again as school was ending, but hesitate and moved along. In your mind I was just a fond memory. This was to be our last encounter, or so you thought. It does seem fate was on our side, two weeks later you went to work without a thought of me and suddenly I showed up. You see it was my first day. I had once again walked into your life. Coincidence...never. We were meant to be a part of each others life.

i love this man with all of my being. he is everything in my life.

a gift

I am amazed that God has given us (me) the ability to create life. What a responsibility to bring a person into this world...help them grow and find their way.

Motherhood challenges me in ways I never thought possible. I will admit I don't always celebrate my role because I'm often overwhelmed by the vast responsibility. I never thought I could ever fear motherhood, but I think I might. At times the feeling I will fail them in some way, like they are better off without me takes over and I want to give up. It's scary knowing you could potential mess up a life. It's these times I get on my knees and ask for help because I know I am useless without the help of a loving God.

I hope with all my flaws and imperfections my girls will always know of my deep love for them. They teach me about life, about me, in a way I could have never learned without them. They are truly a gift from God.

Girls I love you!

Magical

The girls took a bath tonight and I entertained them with bubbles. I never knew how big you could blow bubbles in the water. It was a fun game for us to see just how big we could blow them without them popping. I think this one was the biggest. Bella and Tess keep asking me to take another bath.

its official...

I'm addicted to scrapbooking in the best way. I love it and can't get enough. Last night I was invited by Jill with 4 of her friends to be a part of a focus group to talk about scrapbooking products...what we like, don't like etc. It was only suppose to go an hour and a half, but we were there for over three hours talking. I had such a good time.

This company is partnering with a pretty big company in the industry, which is why I feel they have staying power. I will be really excited if what was suggested ends up on the shelves.

Actually they were very please with how it went and ask if we would be willing to do it again...of course. Not only do I love talking about scrapbooking supplies, but they gave us free stuff and money. Little do they know I would have done it for free.

number 1

I believe the kids are on to us. They've all started to figure out our number system, well I should just say Bella has figured it out. I'm not surprised though, it's not hard to figure out, plus she's one smart little girl.

How do we know she onto us...well she keeps saying, "I'm number 1, right?" I'm starting to realize our code either has to be much more complicated or we have to come up with another creative way of communicating...I'm certainly not ready for that.

Love this photo of her. I feel it captures who she is perfectly...quiet and focused.

A very unique little girl who constantly surprises me. I'm so lucky to have her a part of my life.

who am i to blog?

I didn’t even know what a blog was when the year started, but now I am addicted. I have been half tempted to start my own and here I am doing it, writing out my first entry.

But who am I? I’m not well known, political, or even have something important to say-so why even begin? Well, I found something beautiful in the blogs, the concept of a blog, an expression of the author, a collection of thoughts. No matter what the passion - politics, cooking, gardening or even life. You name it it's out there.

So right now I can't sleep (husband snoring). I am thinking this is the thing to do. Perhaps a mistake, perhaps a very good decision, time will tell.

I have this need to express myself, though it would seem more natural to just give my thoughts to a journal with pencil and paper for only me to see. For some reason putting it out on the web makes it real...valid. Makes me own my words, have some sort of accountability for my intentions. Seems silly, but true. I want to explore myself and if I find I get a few comments along the way to help in my journey so be it.

Perhaps though this will still be just for me....a collection of thoughts in my own words.