Day 5

I had fun doing this. Just writing down my random thoughts about what i want out of life.
It felt therapeutic and needed.









digital elements...rhonna farrer of course.

had to share...i've updated

I had to share this. I took this today and am in love with it. I was messing around with my camera with angles and such. I didn't even hope to get anything good, but I sure lucked out. Go here for more photos from today with Megan.

















Also I have updated my photo.a.day blog and more photoshows just so you know. I need to be better at staying current.

day 4...21 day challenge

I'm actually meeting the deadlines so I am proud of myself for that.

Its fun to have no rules.

simple joys

All of my girls have a special relationship with their dad. For that I am very grateful. I couldn't have picked a better father if I tried. He is a wonderful dad and the girls just adore him. They sing his praises when he comes home (so do I) and love spending any and all time with him. Funny thing...he loves it too.

This morning I caught Adam and Megan sharing a favorite breakfest together...yogurt parfait. She was in heaven saying "biiiite biiiite" every other second and he, well he just loved having her company.

Day 3...21 challenge

Still plugging along trying to find out what works for me. It is still hard to think this way. Hopefully I'll get there.

I did enjoy doing this one since I used photoshop. I used some of Rhonna's brushes round and round & swirls found at two peas. Love all her digital kits. It would be fun to play with them more, but I can't seem to get away from the paper and all the supplies. Love using my hands.

Day 2...21 day challenge

Thanks all for the kind words & encouragement.
Here is day 2 of 21.














Just so you know it is never to late to join. Anyone can do it. Go to Rhonna's site to find out more.

ah...the mudroom

I meant to add this to the photos of my house.


It is one of my favorite places due to the fact it helps me stay organized and keeps the kids things in one place. Well, except the toys.

looking good...feeling like home

We had an appraiser come yesterday so we worked hard to get our home looking its best. In honor of that I took some photos and thought I would share.

I am just grateful there are no more toilets and appliances in my backyard.

21 day challenge

For a long time I have been discouraged about my creativity. I feel like there are so many things that I want to explore, but don't. It's all my insecurities of not feeling comfortable that holds me back. So I sign up to do the 21 day challenge created by Rhonna Farrer.

I must say this is more challenging than I first had anticipated. It is hard for me to think this way. In fact the entry I am showing I do not like. I like my thoughts and feeling, but not the way it turned out. I wanted to rip it out of the book and start over. I stopped myself. This is the reason why I am doing this. To explore. To feel more comfortable exploring my creativity.

I actually debated whether or not to post it. Of course I feel it is part of the challenge. It is so easy to give up. Keep it hidden and not share. I want it to be real. I want to really learn. To jump over the hurdles I put in front of myself.

So here is day one. I may or may not show them all, but I am looking forward to working on it each day.

So long...for now

Another Sunday battle over. Man I can't wait until Megan is a bit older and not so loud.

I got a surprised at church today. Totally unexpected. I accepted a new calling.

shock.

I know, it has been about 8 years I have been in Primary teaching various classes. Funny to think I have taught the same lesson in different manuals multiple times. When I first heard I thought I am not in the primary anymore! But the more I thought about it the more I started to get sad. I really like Primary. I love my class and will miss them a lot. I am of course ready to try something else, but will miss the children. It really is such an important part of the church since these are the ages where they get a foundation for their testimony. I like to think I helped many in that regard. Plus I do like seeing my kids interact and enjoy their experience. I also enjoyed teaching them. I do not doubt, however, that I will be back at some point.

Anyway. Are you waiting to know what my new calling is. Well...It has not been announced so I will hold off from telling you.

he he. I love cliffhangers.

Bella...Happy Birthday!

Bella is celebrating her 6th birthday today and we have just finished up a successful party. A party she has been talking about for a least a month. We had it at backyard adventures thanks to Robyn. I must say it was really nice not having to stress about what we were going to do and vertually no clean up. A success for me for sure.

Bella asked me last night if she was going to look different when she woke up. I told her she wouldn't. She then wanted an explaination as to why. I didn't have one of course, but as I looked at her she does look so grown up. How quickly life moves. I really can't believe I have a 6 year old. So weird and delightful. She cracks me up daily and is such a happy little girl. I don't know what I would do without her.

lucky

I was looking through some pictures on the computer with megan, she loves doing this and pointing people out, and came across this photo Jill took while celebrating Adam's bday (Jill have I sent this to you?). I love this photo. I love how happy they are. It makes me happy to know my kids have a friend relationship with their cousins. I mean they genuinely want to spend time with them and talk about them all the time. Bella wanted to make sure and invite boys to her party so Landon could come too. She was devastated, crying uncontrollably, when she thought I told her Whitney was moving far away like Austin and Olivia (long story). Tess is the same. Telling me her cousins were the first ones she wants to invite to her party. They talk about wanting to see their new baby cousin Ashley and how much they miss Austin and Olivia. They want to know when Taylor, Jordyn, and Alan are coming to town again. And when they are going to see Estee next.

I am really grateful for family. I feel really blessed to have an awesome family, both sides, who is supportive and willing to help no matter what. I don't know what I would do without them. I, like the kids, want more than just the basic relationships. I genuinely want to spend time with them. Lucky for me I do and we have the best time. Lucky for me they are my friends. Lucky for me they make me laugh out loud. Lucky for me they laugh with me not at me. Lucky for me they listen without judgement. Lucky for me they give words of encouragement. Lucky for me I know I can always count of them.

I am a lucky girl.

it felt like old times

Yesterday Lori came over around 4pm and hung out with me and the girls. It was nice to talk and just hang for a while. She stayed and ate dinner with us, than we all ended up going to Home Depot for paint and a frozen custard at Nielsen's.

It felt like old times. Like when she lived with us. The times we would all eat dinner, pile in the car, and go get ice-cream. I miss that. I don't think I knew how much until yesterday when she was here with us. Tess woke up this morning and asked why Lolo had to go. I could sense that she really missed having her here too. Can't imagine what its going to be like without her when she's off to Australia, but what an amazing time she is bound to have.

my view

This morning I got up wanting to get back on track with exercise. I have had a love hate relationship with it for some time. I love it for how it makes you feel and hate it for the waste of time it seems to be. Let me clarify...I feel I could be doing so many other things when I have some time to myself, not that it is a waste of time for your health. Do you follow? Anyway for that reason I only want to exercise while my kids are sleeping. I suppose that is why I have been going to a gym because it gives me a break from my kids and they love it as well. But I have not done any exercise outside of the gym. I have wanted to for a long time since I have the equipment and I make it for one week at the gym and then off one due to kids getting sick.
This morning I went for it and since I can't get up before my girls they were there with me all the while...well at least megan who pulled up a chair and hung out with me. It made me laugh. Just thought that I would share with you what it was like for me. Enjoy!

Mondays...my lazy work day

Mondays have always been a favorite day of mine since I started staying home with my kids. It's the day to work on the house and get things in order after a crazy weekend....doing laundry, changing sheets, cleaning bathrooms etc. Its the day out of the week I only leave the house to take Bella to school. "It is a lazy working day". Lazy in that I usually don't get up and get ready right away. Lazy in that I take it slow and easy at my own pace. Love that. I love Mondays. Its a fresh start. A night dedicated to the family.

what do you think about Mondays...good, bad, or down right the pits?

I scored huge at target

I can't believe I didn't share this before. I finally took it out of the bag while cleaning my studio and remembered how cool this find was. When I bought it at target Wednesday the girl checking me out kept commenting about how much she liked it. She talked about using it for business cards and credit cards, but of course i have something different in mind. Hoping to play with sometime in the next few weeks.

ps. they must be pretty new because when I went to the draper target with Lori I looked for them and they were no where to be found.

on my mind

So I guess I didn't realize it had been so long since I updated. It has been a crazy week. Actually I started this post yesterday (wrote #1), but it sat on my computer til now. Which is why it will post as Thursday.

1. Working on invitations to bella's 6th bday party. I can't believe its already a week away. I've got two loads of laundry on deck. Hate to do it, but love fresh clean cloths. Also want to try to clean off my desk which has found of way of getting cluttered once again. (it doesn't take long)

2. listening to heartbeats byJose Gonzales. Love this song and cannot get enough. Also Over My Head by the Fray, and You're Beautiful by James Blunt

3. Feeling really grateful I was able to go to the temple last night with Adam. It seems I don't get there as often as I would like. Its so nice to take a break from the real world, do something for someone else, put things into perspective, and spend time with Adam.

4. Waiting to hear back from the doctors to whether or not Megan has a bladder infection so I can give her medication for her ear infection. Poor girl.

5. Thinking about this weekend and all that I want to accomplished or that needs to be done. Also thinking about some of the goals I've made, where I'm at, and not loosing focus. So serious about changing my life. Want to live for more. Feel more.

Have a great weekend.

living with intention

This is something I think a lot about. I have this deep fear at the end of it all I will look back on my life and regret many things. Not necessarily the decisions I made, but the way I lived. Because of my unfortunate death complex I hold back too often. Protect myself from the inevitable feeling of loosing someone. I am tired of the way this keeps me from truly living and experiencing fully what is most beautiful about living on this earth. Its time to let go. To allow myself to live recklessly with my feelings. Open up to the possibility of greatness instead of stopping short. Keeping in line with what I believe and allowing myself to be who I am. Giving it my all and loving every minute no matter what.

crazy day

Last night I was busy scrapbooking and I got a phone call from my neighbor. She asked if I could watch her two kids (4&2 girls) for a few hours this morning. I was glad I was able to help her out as Thursday is my slowest day of the week. I also knew the girls would be so excited to have them over. Then this morning another neighbor called and asked if her two kids could come over and play (5&2 boys) because her babysitter had to cancel on her due to being sick. I figured if its going to be madness it might as well be madness with more kids. So there I was with 4 extra kids and actually it went better than I thought. They all know each other and played so well together. Once the boys left the girls all played dress up. It was interesting to see...Bella usually does not indulge Tess by playing dress up, but she did today. So by the time everyone left I was exhausted. All I wanted to do was lay down, but of course there were more workers in my home, which made it a bit difficult. And of course I couldn't even use the bathroom so I couldn't wait for them to leave.

In other great news. There is either something wrong with my camera or CF card. I really think it is my CF card, but I have to take it into a store to find out as I don't have an extra card. It is more of a hassel than anything as I know it can be easily replaced but it is just time that I don't want to wait. Oh well.

Oh and one more thing...why am I so d$#n tired all the time? I have been dragging all day. Is there something seriously wrong with me or should I just face the fact that having kids is exhausting?

later.

beginning to the end... house exterior

Six months ago we started this insane project. I suppose it wasn't insane, but it sure felt a bit crazy...buying a new house, rennovating it, and moving from our cozy life. Something we had already done in the past and one that I wasn't too eager to start again. It was not an easy process and for me one that came with lots of frustrations, but now that it's over I couldn't be more grateful for the decision and ablity to make this dream a reality. I guess you never really get anything of value without work (blood sweet and tears). I love love love this house. Could not be happier with the results.

click on photo for bigger view

3:30pm on...

Today started out well. I was all geared up to be productive even if I was up at 6:30am again. I was on task and getting things done, but for some reason 3:30pm til Adam gets home is my witching hour. It is the hardest part of the day. So within a 2 hour span I went from good day to crappy day. Nothing went right and it seemed like all the girls were doing were yelling at me, complaining, or fighting. I am so disappointed my day can change so quickly.

I'm trying to keep it positive so the only thing I can do to lift my spirits is make another G.list.

1. blogs. I am really enjoying reading and connecting with others through blogs. It has changed my whole internet experience. It keeps me thinking.
2. burnt almond fudge icecream. (lori did you buy and leave this on purpose?)
3. finding something lost. Below is the layout I found in a binder all alone while setting up my studio. I don't know when I did it, but it had to be close to a year ago. I remember doing it for my personal scrapbook I had planned on doing 8.5x11, now I am not so sure. (photo by jill dec2004)
4. a clean kitchen (sadly mine is not clean right now)
5. mellow music



Hope your day ends better than mine. Though I must say, I do have high hope for the evening. Spending time with Adam and 24 is going to be on.

birthday festivities

Happy Birthday Adam!

He turned 33 today. I hope he had a great day starting with sleeping in...not so lucky for me who was up at 6am with Megan and Bella. He does deserve it as he usually wakes up with the kids on the weekends. He told me how he was really going to enjoy having his birthday on Sunday because there would be no possible reason to work. So I tried to make all his favorites for dinner and had the family over to celebrate.

So in honor of him I just want to tell you a few things about my husband that I adore. He makes me laugh constantly. He is my best friend and feel so close to him knowing we can talk about anything. He makes me want to be a better person. He makes me look at my life differently and want more out of myself, out of life. He is an extremely hard worker. He is the best father I could imagine and a better husband than I probably deserve. I am a lucky girl just to know him. I am a lucky girl to get to be with him for forever.
























a few other surprises about the day.

1. Jill and Randy brought us a house warming gift. Totally unexpected and appreciated. Not only did they give us the same jars they have that I have always liked, but they were loaded with goodies. Thank you Stuarts.
2. I was able to open a few gifts as well. Ok this was not a surprise as I knew I was going to do this since we didn't officially have a party, but still a lot of fun to get to open something as well. Thank you.

So all and all it was a great day with family. It was the first time in the house I really felt like we lived here. It was the first real meal and the first time we had people over. So grateful we were able to do it.

photos by Jill

my studio

I have been very excited about this. I have talked about this for weeks now and thursday night I stayed up until 1:30am working and organizing all my stuff. It was a lot of fun going through everything and remembering what I had. I actually found a layout I had done months ago and forgotten about (will post later).

What can I say I feel like a very lucky girl. I have a great room with awesome natural light (never had that before and never thought I would), a perfect desk to work at standing up or sitting down with lots of space for storage, a deep big closet that allows me to store pretty much everything. The only thing I haven't figured out yet is where to put my stamps. The shelf adam made for me is too big so hopefully soon I will be able to come up with something.

I feel grateful that I have this space just for me. A place to learn, explore, create. Can't wait to get busy.

6:30am

You guessed it...this is my wake up time. Not wake up and have some time to myself wake up time...no wake up to the girls running in my room getting in my bed, fighting over who gets to lay by who, and asking for food. I don't get it. Yes, they go to bed at an early time, but even if they go to bed at 11pm, like on game nights, they still wake up bright and early. It's sort of a running joke between Adam and I because there is no more sleeping in on weekends, expect of course if we are planning on getting up early. You know bagel day was based on the fact that the girls woke up so early. Megan was just a baby and Adam was trying to give us both more time to sleep so he took Bella and Tess out of the house. Where else can you go at 7am on Saturday? I don't even think Adam sets an alarm clock anymore. We just know what time we are going to be woken up. This morning I heard them coming rolled over to look at the clock, and sure enough it was 6:.30 sharp. No Joke. This is no joke. It is a problem and I would like to get it solved. I will never understand those of you who have kids who sleep in. Never! I am waiting madly for day light saving and hope that will still and allow me 1 more hour of peace. I can only hope.