a good relaxing sunday

I think I could be in a lot of trouble tonight. I just got up from a 2 1/2 hour nap and if Adam hadn't come in and woke me up I think I would still be in dreamland. It felt good to sleep, to rest my mind. I hope I won't have trouble in a few hours to get back in bed, but I guess if I can't sleep I can finish "These is my Words". So either way I feel go about how this afternoon played out.

My talk is finally over (YEAH) just in time to find out we get to do it again in a few weeks in the other ward. I knew it was coming so I don't know why I'm surprised, but I am. I'm just grateful we get to use the same talks so really it's just going to be like take two.

I wanted to share with you a quote from Elder Holland that I used in my talk that I just loved.

“We must go forward. God expects you to have enough faith, determination, and trust in Him to keep moving, keep living, keep rejoicing. He expects you not simply to face the future; He expects you to embrace and shape the future—to love it, rejoice in it, and delight in your opportunities."

Have a great Sunday. We are about 8 inches deeper in snow so hopefully we can dig ourselves out tomorrow.

MIA

I feel like I have a million and one reasons why I've been MIA the last week, but really my computer hasn't been calling to me like it has in the past. Once it freaked out and needed a little visit to the repairman I didn't look back. My computer has been sitting in my studio waiting to be hooked up until this morning when I decided to finalize my talk.

I have missed everyone. I have missed feeling connected with the world, the blog world, but as crazy life goes, I'm doing what I can to make it what it will be and I guess blogging hasn't fit in the last month or so. So I apologize for not making it to anyone's blog, for being MIA. I didn't even peak for fear of getting sucked into your ideas and thoughts, but I have heard it is going strong.

I feel I am at this strange place right now, like I'm not sure where to go next. Is anyone else there? It's strange when 6 weeks are devoted to this one day and now that it's over I'm not even sure where to begin. I mean I have a game plan, declutter declutter declutter, but it's as if I'm lost as to how. I guess it's with all things...just do and the rest shall follow. Interestingly enough my talk in church on Sunday is on looking forward so I have two days to figure it out so I don't feel like a complete hypocrite standing up there giving my two bits about how to move forward when I feel a bit stuck at the moment.

Enough of that. Good news I'm down to one book, I finished Atonement and The Thirteenth Tale. The jury is still out on Atonement. It's just such a depressing story and I'm trying to find a lesson in it. I guess that our lives are intertwined and are affected by each other's decisions and actions. It has made me think twice about how something I do or don't do could affect another's life. I liked the Thirteenth Tale. I enjoyed the mystery it provided, trying to unravel it as I read, though it was a bit strange. I was way off in the end to what I thought would actually happen and I liked being wrong. I would give it 3 stars on GoodReads.


sorry for the angle but light was reflecting off the glass from straight on.

Here is a project I did several weeks ago, but am just able to share now. I love the way it turned out and that I get to see it every time I leave my kitchen, which is every 10 minutes or so. I put it together in photoshop and then printed it 20x20.

Ok so I'm off to have a kidless day at least until the afternoon rolls around. Adam has taken my car and I'm stuck at home, which I am so happy about. A quiet day getting stuff done...a dream. Perhaps this is what I need to figure out the how in following my game plan.

Have a great friday :)

christmas morning

My parents joined us this year for Christmas morning opening gifts and a delicious breakfast. I wasn't sure what time to have them come because I didn't want them to miss anything, but I also didn't want my kids to have to wait. They ended up coming around 7am and we had to wake Megan up. Apparently she's not there yet.

christmas eve

It started at the cemetery. I know not really what your thinking about when you think of Christmas, but bring Christmas to my brother has been something we've done, well, since he's been gone. Although I know it probably doesn't really matter to him much, I do it to remember and share a piece of him with my children.

















After we parted ways with my parents we had a brief visit with Adam's grandma.



Then we headed to the compound for our annual Christmas Eve gathering with Adam's family. We have good food, open gifts and play games. This year we spent a lot of time playing playstation (guitar hero, singsong, and dance dance revolution).

eleven

may 2007

On this day eleven years ago Adam and I came as two and left as one. It's amazing how much you become a part of one another once you're married and committed to each other's happiness.

I have a lot to thank him for. He has been apart of my life for more than a 1/3 of it and I have learned more about living in that time then I ever thought possible. He has taught me to love and to trust. To do and to be. To live and to give.

Most importantly I have learned the process of understanding each other and creating an eternal marriage is on going. You're never complete, but always forming, always shaping into where you are at the moment just in time to change and mold into something new, more beautiful than before.

Adam my love, I love you dearly and with my whole heart. You are everything I ever wanted even when I didn't know it. Thank you for your patience, your love, and for 11 memorable years. lllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll

4 off the top

1. Be careful what you wish for.
My head had been swirling the last few days. I was just beginning to think I had everything under control and that things may slow down a bit when I got a call to speak in church on the 30th. It took me several moments to respond to the question and quite honestly I'm not sure how much time lapsed when the caller brought me out of my trance with the comment, "it sounds like it's not a very good time?" I wanted to laugh, really I wanted to cry. Of course during the holidays it's never a good time to add one more thing to the list, but in reality it's never a good time to speak in church. At least that was the way I was feeling at the moment. After accepting, my determination to get it written so I wouldn't have to feel it looming over me on Christmas day kicked in...I'm pretty much done writing it. Let's just say it was a long weekend, but really I shouldn't down play it like it was drudgery. I came to understand while writing and researching the topic it was yet again an answer and something I needed right now.

If I was going to dispense any advice today it would be, be careful what you wish (ask) for. You never know what form it will take.

2. I've got 3 books going right now (list on sidebar).
I think this is the first time ever (usually I only like to tackle one at a time). It is most definitely the source of my absence here, well that and Christmas. During the day I am swamped, as I'm sure most of you are, but at night after a warm shower I curl in bed hoping to spend the night away reading in one of my books trying to forget about all the work that's waiting for me when I wake. I'm finding it very difficult to choose which story to get lost in as each is beautiful in it's own way. As I write this I can't imagine my life absent of books and stories, and yet, I did if for a very long time. So grateful to have found it again.

3. Megan sings

On Thursday morning Megan had her school Christmas performance. She insisted on dressing up, which was no surprise to me, she wants to wear dresses everyday with her "sparkly shoes". It was a memorable performance I wish I had caught on video better. What I got is blurry and honestly I would share if I wasn't feeling so lazy at the moment, but I am. Suffice to say, she was loud and energetic (so her). She looked like she was having a great time and she was a lot of fun to watch.

4. All tied up in a pretty bow
I pretty much have all the presents wrapped, well the things I have bought anyway. I still have a couple gifts to purchase and seem to be taking my sweet time. Not sure why, but I'm not feeling the_last_week_ to_shop_rush, I feel calm surprisingly. Whatever the reason for my calm I am grateful for it. I've already had 2 cold sores pop up this month...apparently stress and no sleep do not look good on me.

I'll leave my list at four. I have lots to share, but will wait for another day. The clock in the lower right hand corner of my computer is looking at me. I know it's time to say good-bye to another day so I can get my proper sleep. To someone who loves sleep it's amazing how much I love the quiet nights and never want them to end.

Tiny Snowflake

Our YW did the 12 days of Christmas for 36 widows in our neighborhood. This story along with a snowflake is for one of the days. I thought it was such a sweet reminder of our individual worth that I wanted to share.

The tiny snowflake lay in God’s hand. Among stars and galaxies it was so very tiny. But her great Creator’s heart loved it best. For with all truth and light he had sculpted this one little snowflake.

“In all time and space, nothing shall ever be like you”’ God whispered, “And you are mine.”

“If I keep you in my hand you shall be perfect and your beauty shall never change,” He said. “But my tiny one you shall miss the best part”.

He signed and blew the snowflake from his hand and it fell into immense darkness. The snowflake was terrified! But God’s breath carried it as a gentle wind, guiding it as it fell. The snowflake felt a wondrous new feeling.

“What is this”, it thought.

And God’s voice whispered “Freedom”!

And the snowflake felt such joy that she began to dance her own beautiful dance. Other snowflakes fell and danced, but it was not at all like her special dance. Suddenly she stopped for she touched the earth and she lay with all the others in crystal silence. She felt a part of something, something great and important.

When morning dawned the sunlight turned the fields of snow glorious with light. The snowflake realized her coming had somehow changed the earth. The sunlight warmed her and she too began to change.

“What shall I become”, she thought.

“Indeed”, God smiled. “What shall you become?”

And she was comforted for the creator was still creating her. Once again she was in God’s hands. And just as God whispered to the snowflake, he whispers to you:

“In all time and space, nothing shall ever be like you”, He says “and you are mine”.

Good sleeping

I woke the girls up this morning and found this



Yes, I had to turn on the lights to take the shot which caused both megan and tess to cover their face, but this is how they were....no covers, squished together as if they were one mass, megan snoring and flipped upside down.

Can you see all the stuff they're sleeping with? Leapsters and stuff animals galore. Oh how I wish for those times when you could sleep anywhere, in any uncomfortable position. Cruel irony indeed.

last week busyness

I can't believe it's already been almost a week since I updated my blog. I've been so busy with YW (12 days of Christmas project), trying to find Christmas gifts, wrapping gifts,


working on Christmas cards,




family activities (ie gingerbread houses & cookies),

and fighting AMS that I haven't even thought about blogging.

I did, however, managed to listen to A Thousand Splendid Suns (probably not the most uplifting book to read right now), while working on a few projects of my own, which I can't share at the moment because they are gifts as well. I also painted a painting that didn't work out so well. I guess you could say I didn't know when to stop. 1499 to go.

Question: I need an idea for neighbor gifts, preferably low maintenance. What are you doing?

her question

Megan: "mommy why are you my mom?"

me: "I guess because Heavenly Father wanted you to be apart of our family."

Putting the question back on her I asked, "Why do you think I'm your mom?"

Megan: "Because I told Jesus I wanted you."

me: "You did?"

Megan: "Yeah!" (with her hands on her hips in her silly voice she said), "I told Jesus 'I want my mommy and daddy!' and then I just comed here."

I know this is her little self just trying to figure things out, but I couldn't help wonder after almost losing her while pregnant twice that perhaps it was her persistence that brought her here. She certainly is good at what she does...I find it very difficult to turn her down.

Made me laugh

My sister send me an email of us as elves and I was laughing so hard I had to share. I actually made my own because the one she sent was saying the wrong last name (she couldn't change it or something like that). Anyway, Adam didn't make it in because you could only create 4 elves so I decided to just do us girls (I'm sure he really appreciated being left out).

watch here

Thank Jeni. This was a lot of fun. The kids loved it.

If you make one send it to me I want to see.

PS thanks everyone for you thoughtful response yesterday. I'm taking them all into consideration. I must say I love the hot bath/shower before bed idea, especially now that it's so cold.

AMS

drawing courtesy Adam

Some friends of ours started using the phrase Amy M Syndrome or AMS when they were feeling utterly exhausted. Apparently they are also aware of my chronic tiredness.

Sadly, I live in a perpetual tired state. I'm not sure how long it's been going on for, though I think Adam would say as long as I've known you, but it's definitely been off and on since I've had kids. Lately I haven't been sleeping well so it has exacerbated the problem. I've wondered if it's my thyroid, but I had that checked a year ago and nothing came up. I use to not sleep well due to something on my mine, but I haven't felt that way at all lately. I'm quite frustrated and hate feeling on a daily basis like I'm fighting to find the energy to get anything done.

So today I decided it was time to get back in an exercise routine. I was great in September, but stopped doing it because I was just so tired I didn't want to get up in the morning. I'm not sure if this will be the answer, but I am willing to try because I'm so desperate to feel good, to feel like a normal person with energy. I guess tonight I will see if it make a difference.

I know some of you out there have problems with either falling asleep or staying asleep (mine is the later) so can you give me some advice as to what you do? Do you take meds? Have you seen a sleep disorder specialist? Do you exercise and still have trouble sleeping? I guess I'm willing to try anything because it's getting to the point where it's so common I can't live this way.

Wish me luck! I'm crossing my fingers that tonight will be different. I will say today felt better so I have reason to hope.