off again

It's so nice that I have the technology to get my emails on my phone, but it makes for sitting at my computer almost obsolete. It's been shut off since the last time I posted until yesterday when I sat down to do a few things. I have to admit it has been nice not being around it or feeling attached, but I do miss blogging. Sometimes when life is busy it's nice to reevaluate just how important something is in your life and where it stands.

So I'm off tomorrow to go to Lake Powell with our youth group. It's going to be an interesting trip to say the least seeing how I'm not one of their leaders anymore. I am looking forward to it, more than I have in the past, because I feel like it's going to be my last big activity with them. I'm not excited about the heat or the bathroom situations, but you never know it could account for some really great blogging stories when I get back.

so you don't forget us.

sp from the park a few weeks back.

have a great week.

It's been a while, I know.

I've been meaning to sit down and write something, but I've been living a working mom's life since Monday and I must say it is not glamorous. I certainly admire all you women out there raising a family and working all day. I don't know how you have any time to breathe.

All week I've been with Bella from 9-5 at the Suzuki String Institute. It's actually an amazing experience I'm so glad we decided to do this year. She has six class with fabulous very patient instructors who have devoted their life to music. She is even getting a private lesson from Michael McLean. A very cool experience for her, one that is making a huge difference with her playing & confidence.



Anyway, she's basically doing all the work, I'm sitting all day...reading, watching, etc., but by the time I get home I'm completely exhausted. Exhausted! Perhaps my messy house we haven't even been in, hungry kids waiting to be fed, and laundry that needs to be done looking back at me doesn't help. Really I don't know how to do it all with this schedule without feeling like I've worked all day. It's maddening.

So I'm blogging now, but I really shouldn't be. I should be packing for my weekend with Lori, Jill, Robyn, and Kathy, or folding laundry, or even better, sleeping so I can get through tomorrow. I guess I just couldn't resist an update. I recently got home from bookclub and going to the store to get stuff for this weekend. It's an interesting experience going to the grocery store at 12am. Have you ever done it? I don't like it. It's creepy being one of the only people wandering around a big half lite store.

Ok so I feel like I'm going to start rambling soon if I haven't started already. I guess It's time for bed. Before I go I thought I'd leave you with a photo I took last week that I feel in love with. We were all in my studio doing who knows what, can't remember, and I saw this beautiful light streaming in through my window...had to get it.



Have a great weekend.

shares & finds

1. Late last night I found this code that will block someone from rt clicking and saving your photos or any content from your blog. As far as I know it works when I try to rt click on my photos. Does it work when you try? If you want the same kind of protection just follow their instructions and put the code in the {body} portion of your blog or website.

2. One of the other reasons why I love So You Think You Can Dance, obviously I love it for the dancing, is the music finds. I loved Mia Michaels dance Wednesday night and can't figure out if it was the dance I loved or the music...I guess together they were a perfect fit. Immediately I went to my computer and purchased Beautiful by Me'Shell N'degeocello. If you ever want to find out the music they use go here and it will give you a list of the dances, choreographers, and music used. You can even see past seasons info. Very cool.

3. Wednesday and Thursday I worked on two more canvases for my wall.


inspired by elsie flannigan and paulette insall


the cupcake was inspired by eflannigan.

here's an update of my wall so far...


I am seriously enjoying this project and don't think I will stop with the four.

4. A photo I took yesterday while we lazily played outside (is that possible?). Of all the others I took it spoke summer to me...the sun streaming through her hair as the wind blew the strands about catching her laughter. It was a good summer afternoon.



The next two weeks are going to be crazy crazy for me so it's been nice not to have anything scheduled this week. The kids have had play dates and we've basically just hung out...the best way to enjoy a summer in my opinion.

Oh and this because Tess said she wanted to be "mom"...my shoes, my glasses, my book.

thoughtful wanderings

I woke up too early for a summer morning wishing I could fall back asleep, instead laid in my cozy bed listening to the hard rain hitting my window, beating down on the road. I wasn't too excited about waking up to a cold wet gray rainy day, but I did love in that moment hearing it beat down in a fury. A part of me, I have no idea why, wanted to run outside and let it soak me. I guess it's me wanting the weather to encourage my thoughtful mood that I've had for days.



It was originally brought on by my release from the YW program Sunday. I knew it was coming and yet I wasn't quite prepared when it happened. It's hard to give all you have to something, someone and then just walk away from it, handing over your binder as if the rules to the job reside. Even though part of me was ready to move on, I really wasn't and it's been hard for me to let it go. It was such a huge part of my life and it's so crazy to just walk away from it like I never knew it.

All my thoughts and emotions that have come from this one incident has me thinking about connections we make with others. Why some of them last and others fleeting? Is one of our main purposes in this world to touch the lives of those around us and when the message is sent we go our way? Subconsciously I wonder how much this is true? How much God guides us to those we need or who need us? I guess you never know when you might be needed so you live hoping you're doing your part...making a difference the way you were meant to.


"I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be." - Douglas Adams

You know I've always wanted this extraordinary life, but knew in my gut my life would be very ordinary. I always knew what I was intended to do, but I never did understand til now what that actually meant. I've searched too long thinking an extraordinary life was something big and almost unattainable when really an extraordinary life has been right in front of me the whole time. Adam and my girls bring my life meaning and make life worth living...they are my purpose here. So while my life is simple, it's mine and everything I've always wanted.

I believe it's like Sheryl Crow said, "it's not having what you want, it's wanting what you got."

live

sleeping easy

I finally did it, bought food storage. Well months ago I did and have been waiting impatiently to receive it. I feared the amount that was coming and yet I still wasn't quite prepared when a truck pulled in my driveway yesterday and delivered two pallets full.



It was a daunting task, but I was able to clean out a semi unused closet in my basement, take out the shelf, and fill it up with the food. I honestly can't believe I was able to do it and it only took me about an hour...by myself.



So now I have food. It feels good to know I am more prepared than I was yesterday, but I'm still hoping I will never in my life have need for it. My plan initially was to gradually used it and refill it, but now that I have it I don't want to go through the bother of replacing it. After all with the price of food it could cost even more, plus there's really no getting the food out of there anyway it's so packed in.

If any of you are interested I used this company. I heard good things from a few people, but honestly I've never tried the food and don't think I ever will until I absolutely need to. I do know they will send you samples in the mail to try. FYI I had been watching and thinking about doing this since last year and because of the cost of wheat and corn etc. the price keeps going up. I just looked and it's about 25% more than what it cost me.

Anyway, have a great weekend. Tomorrow I will be running/walking a 5k with my family, organized by robyn, and beginning our summer break. Yes, for us summer vacation is officially here starting today even if the weather is telling me otherwise.

creatively blah...learning from another artist

Basically I've felt sort of blah for a while now. Not really knowing what or how to "do". The not knowing tends to leave me constantly thinking, which inevitably causes me to do nothing at all. I have at some point been able to thwart my funk and taken a few photos last week, but other than that when it has come to anything remotely creative I have been empty. Yes, empty is a perfect word for it. I've definitely not had anything in me, no reserves to pull from.

Moods like these are always a bit depressing or misguided as I often run away and hide, preferably in a book, hoping that inspiration will come. And I guess at times it does, but often it keeps me focused in on other lives inside the novel and I forget about my own.

Yesterday after looking at the four blank canvases on my wall one too many times, I took them down and started to build my foundation. I pulled colors I thought would work good together, but also work with the wall color. Once I had completed the first stage (keep in mind only the first stage), I laid them to dry next to each other and the overwhelming feeling that I get sometimes started creeping in...what I saw was four seemingly blank canvases I had no ideas for.



I stopped. I left. I came back. I felt the same. Determined not to allow myself to let go so quickly I got on the computer and let one link lead to another until I found Elsie Flannigan. I must admit she has never really been an inspiration to me, not because I don't think she's fabulous or an inspiration, but because what she creates I cannot possibly relate to. My mind doesn't work the same way, so while I admire her style and creativity, I admire with jealous eyes wishing I could be, they way she is, completely unique. Then I saw this painting that caught my eye. Perhaps it was that I had made a mistake while working on my canvases and already had a green background dried and ready to go or the fact that this drawing had a camera around the subjects neck. Whatever the reason, I decided I wanted to paint it. I want to tell you I was so inspired by her that I did my own thing, but sadly that is not the way it happened. Instead I was inspired to copy her painting...from the color, to the drawing, to the design. It's not what I set out to do, but I guess I knew my mind was too full to be creative in my own right and I was so desperate to paint...I gave it a try.

It felt so good to just paint something, even if it wasn't mine, to feel like I actually knew what I was doing gave me loads of confidence. It also taught me a lot about my technique, mistakes I've made in the past, and gave me ideas. Yes, ideas. So this morning I woke up wanting to do it again so I could continue the learning process I started yesterday.



Again I pulled from Elsie so I didn't have to think where I was going next, but I could just work and learn. This is as far as I got. It's not done, at least I know I want to put cloths on the girl and some detail work, but I don't think I'll spend time finishing it. I learned again from trying, feeling the paint beneath my paint brush and realized what techniques to use and what not to do to get certain results, and so for that reason the painting is finished (seeing how I'm not going to anything with it since it's not really mine).

It feels very strange to have blatantly copied another artist, I'm not sure why I'm sharing it on my blog as it seems a bit shameful, except the fact that by doing it, it helped me, it opened my eyes. It got the paint brush in my hand and helped me move again. It got me feeling excited so now when I look at those four, now colored, canvases on my wall I'm not overwhelmed...just looking forward to playing with each one.

bathroom redo

Perhaps it doesn't seem like a big difference to you, but to me sitting at my computer knowing when I look over I'm not going to see a toilet and a busted wall staring back at me is worth all the effort. Ha! It wasn't even my effort so of course it was worth it. It was Adam's mother's day gift to me. Thanks babe.

before


after




I moved my cabinet of drawers that use to be next to my computer to where the toilet use to be and replaced the drawers in my studio with a small bookcase I bought at IKEA. The four blank 8x8 canvas you see on the wall will be my new project. I hope to get something inspiring on them this week, but realistically it will probably be weeks later.