stories from the past

I was privileged to spend the weekend at my dad’s family reunion. You see I wasn’t technically invited, it wasn’t for my generation, I was only there to document the event, but as I witnessed my dad, my aunts & uncle gather together with long lost cousins, (some of them meeting for the very first time) I knew this was exactly where I needed to be surrounded by their laughter and tears and what seemed like endless hours of storytelling about generations past. I felt like I found a little bit of myself as I witnessed this gathering I didn’t know was lost.



I have always had this extreme fondness for my Grandma Gretchen, whom I never had the privilege of meeting in this life. I guess you could say my affection for her came from the fact that I was named after her, and for the longest time I wanted to be like her. Growing up my parents had this picture of my grandma and grandpa in Hawaii sipping a drink out of a coconut. I remember telling myself I would get to Hawaii one day and drink from a coconut too. When I was in my late teens I taught myself to knit and discovered knitting came naturally. “Of course it did” I would tell myself. “I’m just like my Grandmother”.

So naturally being at this family reunion and hearing stories about my grandma with her eight sisters and three bothers I was intrigued, fascinated about their life in Montana back in the 1930s. Made me wonder what my life would be like if they had never left Great Falls in 1955. Perhaps that is why I sometimes craved small town living and romanticize life on the prairie — am I a Montanan at heart?

There were several stories that really struck me, but none more than this made me long for my Grandma more than I had before. She had two brothers who passed away. Her oldest brother Willis, died before she was born, she never knew him. Her next oldest brother Ellsworth died when he was about 20 in a work accident, which would have made my grandma a teenager. I couldn’t help, but recognize the similarities in our life story (brothers dying by accident at the prime of their life) and wished, so deeply wished, my grandma had been alive for me when my brother passed away and had been able to shed some light, given me some words of wisdom that would have helped my younger, inexperienced self heal.

Her generation is gone now, the last of her siblings, Doris, died in 2009. I met my great aunt Doris a few times in Montana as I recall, but I was too young, too immature to understand what a treasure I had in her. Why didn't I sit and talk with her about my grandma? Why didn’t I ask her about life in Montana? How could I have been so careless? How could I just watch my grandparents generation die (both my  mothers&fathers) without really trying to understand their world?

I didn’t see. I didn’t understand, but I do now.

Being a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints I’ve always been taught the importance of family history and genealogy work, but I didn’t understand until now the blessings that come from connecting the family tree. I was always so wrapped up in my immediate family to seek among the branches for answers, for connections, but oh I see how wrong I was. There is something very special about being surrounded by individuals who share the same blood, the same family history, the same scandals (yes there are several), the same heartaches, the same smile, the same laughter.

This past weekend the genealogy bug stirred deep in me. Getting to know those who have gone before, who are part of me, seeing them through their stories, and understanding their world is now inching it's way to the top of my list.

I'd say I can't wait to get started -- but I already have.


Have you done any genealogy work?
I'm a bit intimidated, should I be?

HEALTH | FITBIT

About a month ago I took the plunge and bought myself a fitbit flex.

Yep I jumped on the fitbit bandwagon. I was feeling sort of sluggish -- well, let's be honest. I've been feeling sort of sluggish for years. It's the kind of tired I can move through because I have to, but if I had the chance to take sporadic naps throughout the day I would. I've lived with it for years so it feels very much apart of my daily rhythm. There are times I will myself not to think about it and the tired seems less pronounced, but sadly it is always there weighing me down. Yes I've sought help. I've had numerous tests done and the conclusion is my body's chemistry seems to be a-ok.

With the medical world giving me zero answers I am left to my own devices.

Maybe being tired was coming from not being active enough? I know it’s sounds counter intuitive, but have you ever noticed the days you do nothing, like traveling or an all day movie marathon, when you’re sitting constantly, how tired you feel? Adam and I have talked about this phenomenon several times, how strange it is the less you do the more tired you feel and the more active you are the more energized you feel. It seems lazy begets lazy and active begets active.

So I wanted to figure it out — was I tired because I wasn't active enough or am I just tired?

That's where the fitbit comes in. I remember my friend Tory telling me about her fitbit when she visited in February. We were on a hike (we should have been snowshoeing but there was no snow — crazy) and she called out with enthusiasm, “I reached my goal!” Of course, having absolutely no idea what she was talking about, I made her explain. She told me all about her bracelet and how it tracks her movement throughout the day. I thought it was a great idea. If I could track my activity it would give me a more accurate indication of how active I am during my day. (I have always been one to exercised in the morning, but I was curious how active I was the rest of the day.)

I thought about just buying a pedometer, I mean it’s much cheaper, but I liked the idea of being able to track other things, like my sleep which I thought could be crucial when trying to understand my tiredness, so I went with fitbit and have been tracking my movement ever since.



My observation after using it a month:

01) I noticed how much it helped motivate me to stay moving. Just knowing it was on and tracking my steps was enough for me to want to stay on my toes. Instead of taking an elevator or parking as close to a store as possible, I opted to pick the option that would allow me to get more steps.

02) I realized it wasn't hard to get 8000 steps in a day. On the days I run, which is about 3 times a week, I get about 10,000 steps right off the bat. At first I loved it because I would reach my goal so early in the morning, but then it was defeating the purpose for the rest of the day — I wasn't as motivated. So I decided I would change my goal each day depending on what I was doing. When I ran I would make my goal somewhere between 15,000-18,000 steps a day. On a slow day, a day I’m traveling or a Sunday, I would adjust my goal lower to about 5000. On an average day my goal is set to about 8000 - 10,000 steps.

03) I’m actually a lot more active than I thought. Even the days I’m home taking care of my duties there I found I’m constantly moving. And on the days I’m more sedentary, the ones where I’m on the computer or working on a project, I make sure to take little breaks and go for a walk or do something active.

My fitbit experiment has been successful. It has helped me to be more aware and motivate me to stay on my feet, but sadly it didn’t help me understand more why I am so tired all the time. It’s definitely not because I’m not active enough. I feel really good about how much I move on any given day, even though some days are better than others.

I’m back to the drawing board and will share with you soon what experiment I did next to get to the bottom of being tired 24/7.

Bur for now, if you are looking for something to help motivate you to move this summer go get a fitbit or look for another like minded device that will help you track it and give you an idea of where you’re at so you can decide where you want to go.

xo amy gretchen

12of12 | June

[enlarge]

01. Tess making pancakes.
02. Adam finally getting out of bed for the first time in weeks and me joining him outside after my workout.
03. Megan cuddling with the puppy before heading off to dance.
04. Tess doing her 30 minutes of practice a day.
05. Bella finally made it home from California. They were suppose to arrive at 10am, but didn't show up till 1pm, which made her extremely late for chamber days with the Fry Street Quartet. :/
06. ...Which she went right to after I grabbed her.
07. Did a bit of shopping with Megan after getting her from dance. I'm not sure why I didn't take a picture of the swim toys we purchased.
08. She tried on all the glasses and hats in the place.
09. Afternoon swim.
10. The hose means someone is vacuuming the kitchen. Hallelujah! Why do I feel like it needs to be done every 30 mins??
11. Spend sometime outside enjoying the view/yard while dinner was cooking.
12. Last thing I did tonight was drop Tess off at her friends house. She is going on a camping trip with them in the morning. Good times!

I hope you all had a better go at it than me. It was an off day for me today, honestly I've been a little off since I got back from Squam. Can't really pin point it, but the fact that Adam has been sick since I walked in the door and I'm trying not to eat dairy, gluten, or sugar is not helping matters (more on that later). Unfortunately, I hardly took any pictures, but luckily when I finally sorted through my photos I had 12 to use. Seriously, around 5pm I really thought I wouldn't even have 9.

Anyway, you win some and lose some I suppose, but the fact that I actually did it is a win for me :)

Summer is full swing over here so I hope it's the same for you. Looking forward to seeing some of your lazy summer days. Makes sure to head on over to our Facebook group and share your day.

Have a lovely weekend!!