been away

It's 105 degree outside and while I sit here on the computer comfortable inside, I can feel the heat trying to make it's way in. Summer is officially here and wouldn't mind another rainy day to soften the blow.

I just up and left town last weekend. I've never in my life made such a snap decision. Wednesday I sat watching my girls swimming in the pool and thought I just need to get away from the crazy for awhile. I guess you could say I'm sick of getting kick out of my house by realtors at random times and thought getting away would help clear my head. And it has. I brought the girls with me and we're crashing with my parents. We've been swimming and reading and enjoying escaping from what is waiting for me at home...the inevitable move and all the work associated with it.

I was up into the wee hours of the night finishing Coming Home by Rosamunde Pilcher. Although I enjoy the way she tells a story and quite enjoy her characters, I was disappointed with the last 1/3. It was 977 pages so I felt I deserved a little more for getting to the end, but it didn't quite have the ending that makes you sit and think awhile. It was too predictable and not in the good way. Make sense? I brought with me "Angle of Repose" and am looking forward to starting that today at the pool.

Speaking of the pool, it's basically all we've done all week (it's all we really can comfortably do with the excruciating heat). I've finally gotten to the point in my mothering where I don't have to sit next to my kids in the pool. It's perfect here too because we've basically had the pool to ourselves so I can easily sit and watch and know where they are at all times.

I realize after waking up this morning that June is over and I didn't do a giveaway this month. I guess with all that's been going on and really my apathy to blog at the moment (not quite sure where that's come from, I have lots to share), it just didn't happen. Hopefully when I get back I will be rejuvenated and feeling more like me instead of feeling like life is on hold. And I guess that's where I've been and why I wanted to leave town. I hate the feeling that I'm just waiting for something to happen and waiting to find out what the rest of my life will be like when I know very well that life changes constantly...there is no waiting. In Coming Home Rosamunde states, "things only happen once...it can be a bit the same, of course, but never quite the same". So I am trying to remember that my little ones are only little for so long (savor it) and remind myself that in my situation I'm only faced with opportunities. Opportunities to bring us closer to the life Adam and I want. It's unfortunate that these things are not easily had without a lot of work and emotional uneasiness, but I guess if it wasn't a lot of work it wouldn't quite mean as much when you finally got it.

I guess that's enough randomness for the morning. I have lots to catch up on, but hopefully when I am home I will have time to do so and share a month full of photos. Hope your summer has been great.

summer of change

I knew when I married him or at least shortly after that Adam was a nomad. He doesn't like to be in the same place for too long. He likes to shake it up always inching his way closer to our dream home where I am promised we will live out the rest of our days. He's all about getting uncomfortable for the sake of bettering our lives. I admire him for this, though I don't easily share this same philosophy. Being uncomfortable is well...uncomfortable.

I knew this house we bought 4 years ago was not the end of the road for us, but I thought we had an understanding that the next time we moved it would be dream house time (so I'm thinking 15 years away). Well, Adam found his dream house for an attainable price Thursday, June 4th and that's where the talks began. He asked me to go see the house with him and I flat out refused and left it at that. There was no discussion, I just said, "No, sorry I won't. I don't want to move." Saturday he asked me again. At that point I knew, I just knew his search had begun and he was ready to move on. I went. It was magical. It's hidden in a canopy of trees. I could see the girls growing up there riding their bikes along the tree covered driveway. I could see the summer nights spent out on the porch talking. Laughing. I could see that the old busted house could be made into something amazing.

Still...I don't want to move. I love my house. I love what we created. I love my neighborhood/neighbors. I love the schools. I would have a hard time walking away from it.

With that said,



our house is on the market.

I can't tell you how hard that decision was and what it did to me the first time I saw that sign in my yard. My heart broke. Needless to say my first week of summer was consumed with getting my house ready for photos and showing to possible buyers. According to Megan the clouds were not the only thing crying all week. I joined them. I listened to a lot of mellow music. I changed my mind and begged Adam to keep our home until he said "ok" only to back down already knowing we are doing the right thing by selling. Maybe I just wanted to know that he'd be willing to give up moving for me. He would. I know he would because he is the reason I agreed to it. I see the wisdom in it. The market right now is ripe with opportunities. This move could be very good for my families future, but ultimately when it came right down to it, after taking all of my feelings and desires into consideration, I love him and if this is what he wants I am willing to do it.

So we're getting uncomfortable. We're going to see what happens. If our house sells we'll move. If not, we'll stay. Either way we'll be together (the 5 of us) so it doesn't really matter where we end up...even though it sort of does. :)

It's that time again

[may 2009]

hightlights from may
-keane concert with Lori & dinner
-6am bootcamp
-megan helped me around the house
-received sweet messages from Adam
-had lunch with Julia, Marissa, and Marilou (woman I served with in YW)
-girls came home hot and tired from school
-nice warm day
-had noodles for lunch
-was able to see adam off for work
-got home from concert at 11:45pm

It was a good 9 months

If I could tell the complete story of our last day of school in a photo it would be this....



Megan bouncing around being her cheerful self not in tune to the heightened emotions going on around her. Tess a little in different and bothered about the teacher she got next year. To be completely honest, I'm a little bugged as well only because it's the same 2nd grade teacher Bella had. It's not that I don't like her, I just don't want her comparing Tess to Bella because academically they are not the same. Tess' teacher did make sure to put her with her good friends so she has that to look forward to. Then there is sweet Bella in the background struggling to keep it together. In fact, she totally gave into her emotions and cried as she said good bye to her teacher (swollen eyes here). I can understand...I cried too. She's the type of teacher you don't mind your child spending 6 hours a day with. I'm not sure how it started, but they sure do have a special relationship. Her teacher even told me as we were leaving that Bella changed her in many ways...not sure what that meant exactly, but I couldn't have agreed more.

The last day of school the kids have an awards assembly. I never go because the kids haven't gotten awards, but I wish I had this year because they did. Tess got the Physical Fitness award (she still hasn't told me what it was for) and Bella got an award for being in the top 10% in the nation on her Iowa tests in reading & language. Needless to say I was more than impressed that someone from my genes could ever get an award like that (if you haven't noticed already reading & language are not my strengths). I was proud of them both and wouldn't you know, the awards fit them perfectly.


[megan art, may 2009]

So the summer has officially started for us. Do we have big plans? NO, not really. I mean we are going to do swimming lessons and the girls are going to do a theater & dance class, but other than that we don't have any big plans. I'm sure we'll go swimming a lot, have picnics at the park, club house read-a-thons, and hopefully time with cousins. I was feeling a bit intimidated weeks ago, but now I'm looking forward to the lazy summer days.

randomness

**Tuesday, Megan woke up with a tummy ache. I had a hard time believing it was the flu, but she proved me wrong by throwing up in the hallway on her way to the bathroom. She took it like a champ, like she usually does. It's interesting how chatting and witty she was after getting whatever it was out of her system. I got her all cleaned up and cozy in my bed and turned on a movie for her. She was asleep almost instantly. I was in my bathroom getting ready for the day talking to her when I realized she wasn't talking back. She slept from 9:30-1pm was up for a bit and then again from 2:30-6pm. I fully thought Adam and I were in for it, but she put herself to bed at 8pm after eating peanut butter crackers and slept through the night. This morning she's back to herself again. It was a weird, but quiet 24 hours.

**Tess got a Nintendo DS for her birthday and right away we had to put the rules in place. It's rules we had before, but over time have become lax with. The rule goes something like this: play the DS as much as you want as long as you've read just as much before. So if you read 20 minutes you get to play 20 minutes. Anyway, every day after school Tess and Bella, equipped with a digital clock, have been reading. All I can say is...it's working!



**The girls and I spent the evening in my studio. Bella and I set her up an email address so she could stay in contact with friends, her favorite teacher, and cousins over the summer. She sent out a few emails and even got one back. She was thrilled and excited about the power of instantaneous messaging. If she's this excited about emails I wonder what she will think when she grasps the concept of text messaging...hopefully she won't care for another eight years. While we did that Tess and Megan sat next to us painting. It started out civil and then got out of control messy. Paint all over the chair, the printer, the table, and them. Even my sink didn't fair well, it got just as blue as the rest (see it here). I kept it together though, reminding myself it's all for the sake of art. Luckily, acrylic is washable, but unfortunately not in white grout.

**Occasionally while at Target I'll browse the book section, I prefer to shop online (cheaper) or at Barnes and Noble...for the atmosphere, but I was in need of a book because I'm finishing up The Middle Place. I found Almost Moon by Alice Sebold thinking so many people loved Lovely Bones this must be decent, but still hesitant because I hadn't heard of it before. I was intrigued that the book covers a 24 hour period so I bought it. After I got home I decided to look at the reviews just to see what I was getting myself into. Can I just say, I'm so glad I did. Apparently there is a reason no one I know has read it. Loads of people gave it 1 star on goodreads and called it "disturbing". I guess there's a reason why I always stick with books my friends have read. I'm bummed I have to make another trip to Target this week...it's hard to get out of there.

the rain

It has been raining the last two nights. Raining isn't even the right word...more like pouring. Yes, it's been pouring. It's the kind of rain you want to run outside and play in. The kind of rain you get drench after only being outside for a few seconds. The kind of rain that brings with it big bursts of thunder and lightening. The kind of rain that's beautiful to watch.



I distinctly remember the storm on Megan's 2nd birthday, sitting in the doorway watching the rain fall so hard you could see it race down our hilly street. Tess, hidden under her sheets, was the only one not with us...watching (she was for a few minutes, but couldn't take the sound).



Megan sat on Adam's lap waiting for her party to start showing him what the sound of the thunder was like and as quickly as it came it left. It's amazing to me just how loud a thunderstorm can be and even more amazing how, like a light switch, it turns off completely and all your left with is the damp earthy smell.

Monday night was one of those nights. We had just come from making a few visits around the neighborhood and the rain started. We made it inside before we really got it, but just barely. With everyone in their jammies we opened our double french doors and watched the rain come down cozy on our bed. After the girls left us for the night Adam and I sat talking the rest of the evening until the rain decided to stop or else we got too cold...I think it was the later, at least for me. It wasn't what you would call a deep conversation, we just talked about life in the jobs, kids, & stories kind of way. He made me laugh as he always does and I like to think I got him too.

I'm beginning to think the rain has a way of gathering us all together. When mother nature does her thing we all want to be apart of it in our own way. I guess this is our way. Gathering in the safety of our home enjoying the sights, the sounds, the smells...together.

how to: etching

This is really so simple you'll think it's silly I am doing a how to, but you asked for it so here you go.

Step 1


Mask off the area you want etched. I use cardboard stickers because they are thicker and can hold up to the cream. There are also a lot of vinyl designs you can buy if you want to add a design like a flower. Make sure to really push the letters and tape down on the edge so you get clean lines. I use a bone folder, but be careful not to push so hard you move the letters around.



This is the etch cream I use. I bought it at Michaels Art & Craft store. I think this 3oz bottle was around $7, but it's been too long I could be wrong.

Step 2


Wear gloves to protect your hands, this is really potent stuff. Liberally apply the cream in the same direction. I use a foam brush and use a downward stroke. Make sure not to leave any holes. I have found when using stickers 3 minutes is max. I went to 5 minutes once and the cream started to eat away at my letters and I didn't get a clean line. This is my experience, but you can look on the back for direction.

Step 3 (sorry no photo)
Wash the cream off with water and then begin to pull off the stickers and tape. It may look like it didn't work right away, but once it's dry you will see your design.

Here's the final result.



See, so simple. It really only takes a few minutes and there's hardly any clean up.

good times

Why do good times like these...









always end like this?


[this is when she fell]


[this is when it was time to leave...saturday eve]

and the winner is

according to random.org

the winner is....Lindsay!

Congratulations! Email me (afmphotography@gmail.com) your address and the word you would like on the jar. FYI I think it works better with words 7 letters or smaller.