this exact moment

there is nothing
more I ask of Life
than this moment, exactly so

& she looked at me & my heart danced
like a candle flame from her breath on my chest

& forever suddenly seemed
like too short a time

storypeople

rendezvous

It was like a scene right out of a movie -- I groggily walked toward the baggage claim after too many flights, ready to find my bed, and turned the corner and there he was. It stopped us both in our tracks, seeing each other there. We weren't expecting the other just then, even though we were suppose to meet -- it took us both by surprise.

Let me go back to the beginning.

I hadn't seen Adam for about ten days. He was traveling the week before, came home for two days and then left again.The day he was due back I was flying out to North Carolina and we missed each other by a few hours. I kept thinking it was fine because I'd see him Sunday before he had to leave again on Tuesday. Or so I thought.

During one of our phone conversations we discussed my flight home and the logistics of it all when we realized he was leaving Sunday afternoon for South Carolina and we'd miss each other once again. As bummed as I was I knew it was something we couldn't conrol. It was just the way our work had lined up this month. We both knew it would be crazy coming into October, we just didn't know how.

And then I got this lovely email with this crazy idea to meet him in South Carolina. I wasn't sure I could really pull it off -- I'd been gone all week and the girls were expecting me home. So I called them, my girls, to see what they thought and they urged me to go mainly because they got to spend a night at their friends and then Lolo was coming to stay. So I did it. I made it happen.


So there we were, after days/weeks of absence we found ourselves walking toward each other a little bewildered at how easy it had all been. We smiled and eagerly embraced standing there in Charleston, both of us with our travel bags.


Here are a few photos of our rendezvous (24 hours) in South Carolina.










I can't even begin to tell you how much fun it was to ride my bike through the seagulls. I couldn't help shoot pictures as I went. So worth getting mud all over my back.

a photograph

I know this seems like just a sunset, one like I've shared many times on my blog before, but when I look at it I see woman with similar passions, and yet still quite different. I see woman who started off as strangers and quickly became friends. I feel the overwhelming sense that I've been patiently waiting for them, that we were always meant to meet. I hear conversions that easily flowed from one subject to the next as if we have known each other a long time. I remember trespassing, or so we thought, to get a better view. I hear unabandoned laughter and recall publicly falling, on my bum, in an attempt to get the shot. I recall stocking up at the convenient shop with chocolate and other goodies, and eventually getting that steak we spoke about on the first day.


Sometimes that night is such a blur, it was only last week, and yet, it seems so far away, but then I see this photograph and it easily brings me back to those moments. And I realize, there is no need to mourn the loss of that evening, we will have it again. Hopefully sooner than later.

I miss you!

Memories -- what a gift.

12of12 | October | hybrid (canon+iphone)

01. Early morning walk with Adam. It's so hard to find the motivation to wake up early these days when it's so dark out.
02. Tess watching as her dad left for the airport.
03. Feeling, not quite myself, this morning.
04. Heading out to school.
05. I have a thing for spiderwebs.
06. My view looking east from the temple this morning. I was hopeful it would help change my mood.
07. Rainy rainy Friday
08. Tess pointed out this flower as we walked home from school. It was stunningly bright and colorful, in clear opposition to what was around us. Tender mercy.
09. It was a struggle all day not to sleep.
10. Meandered though Target today. Love when I get a chance to browse.
11. Our trees are quickly loosing their leaves. I had forgotten, until today, how many bags we filled last fall.
12. View from today's reading spot.

Today was hard. I think it was the rain that got me or I guess it could have been the grey skies. I mean, I can't think of anything else that would have thrown me off so much (which is strange because I do love the rain). I was tired, more tired than usual, emotionally spent, and struggled to want to pick up my camera. So grateful I had my phone with me -- i just couldn't bare carrying the extra weight around. So unlike me.

I suppose these days comes, and well, it's interesting to see what you make of it -- in photos that is.

I do hope your day was a lot better than mine. I'd love to see what you were up to.

thoughts from a late night movie

I cried myself to sleep last night after staying up far too late watching Meet Joe Black -- I love that movie. I'd like to blame it on the music, the soundtrack is so full of emotion it gets me every time, but the truth is, there are many moments in the film that touch on the frailty of this life that hit me deep down.

Like this one ---

"I thought I was going to sneak away tonight. What a glorious night. Every face I see is a memory. It may not be a perfectly perfect memory. Sometimes we had our ups and downs. But we're all together, and you're mine for a night. And I'm going to break precedent and tell you my one candle wish: that you would have a life as lucky as mine, where you can wake up one morning and say, 'I don't want anything more.' Sixty-five years. Don't they go by in a blink" -William Parrish | Meet Joe Black 1998

Tell me it's not just me. That's good stuff, no?

But in particular, it was one of the last scenes where William Parrish (Anthony Hopkins) and Joe Black (Brad Pitt) are getting ready to leave this life for the last time that had me teary. Both of them looking out at the world longingly, realizing more than ever that life, with all it's heartache and misunderstanding, is beautiful. The most beautiful of them, and the thing we long for the most, the thing that will be hardest to walk away from, are the relationships we've created -- simply put, love. While I believe wholeheartedly that the next life is better than even what we have here, and we will continue on with those relationships, it is still bittersweet, I imagine, to leave behind the place where your experiences began, where your most important lessons were learned, and you were given the agency to make your life into whatever it is you wanted.

Even writing that makes me antsy. I so long to live with no regrets, enjoying all the pieces, the ups and down, or maybe I should more accurately say, appreciating the uncomfortable moments for what they have taught me and helped me to become.

And while my life is living proof that teaching moments never cease, I know I couldn't possibly get through this life without my friends, family, and loved ones. After all, we were never meant to walk our path alone. How grateful I am for those of you who have crossed my path and joined me along the way. What you have given me is truly a gift. It is a blessing to know what we create here, will carry with us to the next. 

xoxxo