Daddy's girl

So there was a time when I was envious of her relationship with her daddy. When she hurts herself she wants him. When she gets tired she wants him to lay with her. When she wakes up in the morning he is the first thing she talks about. When she gets in bed with us she cuddles up to him. When she watches a movie/TV she wants to sit on his lap. When we go out she wants him to get her out of the car. When the sun starts to go down she asks when he's coming home.

It's taken me some time, but I get it. I get it Tess. I understand. I was a daddy's girl too. It's a priceless relationship not everyone gets to have. Cherish it always and never question how much daddy adores you and always will.

I must admit, even though I've felt a bit envious at times, as a mother it's a beautiful experience to see the too of them together. I just love this photo.

no sleep

So its no secret at times I find it hard to sleep. A lot is going through my head right now, especially with Christmas and moving around the corner. Of course I'm finding time to do everything else that doesn't really need to get done right now. For instance I've made several photoshows...pretty much just your basic slide shows. I sure had a lot of fun making them. My girls love them too.


And I just thought I'd share these photos of Megan and Bella I took a few weeks ago since they scream fall to me and I have yet to share. Enjoy.

click here to check out the photoshows.

enjoying the foliage

We realized this afternoon we really hadn't taken the girls up the canyon to enjoy the foliage. It's quite late in the season so we just decided to take a drive up the canyon to see what we could find. We ended up in Lamb's Canyon, which I've never been to, in search of fall.

It was a beautiful drive as we wound in and out of fall treasures, but I must admit I was getting nervous as far as finding foliage. There were fabulous trees full of color along the road to enjoy from the car, but no where we could pull over and walk around. Toward the end of our drive we finally found a little pocket we could get out, walk around, and of course take some photos. We had to climb a little ways and there was some inevitable complaining, but it turned out to be a beautiful little spot.

Questionire

Apparently this is going around on other blogs, but my sister-in-law did this by email for friends and family. I wanted to share. I thought it was a perfect snapshot of who I am and what i like today.

1. 2 names you go by:
1. aimes
2. mamy

2 parts of your heritage:
1. German
2. English

2 things that scare you:
1. disease (cancer)
2. natural disasters

2 of your everyday essentials:
1. Quiet time
2. chocolate

2 things you are wearing right now:
1. Black pajama pants
2. Grey sweat-shirt
it is 6am

2 of your favorite bands or musical artists (at the moment):
1. David Gray
2. my gym playlist on my ipod

2 favorite songs (at the moment):
1. Diappearing World (David Gray)
2. alibi (David Gray)

2 things you want in a relationship (other than real love):
1. understood loved appreciated
2. Laughter and Silliness

2 truths:
1. my belief in Christ
2. i don't give myself enough credit

2 physical things that appeal to you (in the opposite sex):
1. eyes, boyish face
2. fit

2 of your favorite hobbies (aside from scrapbooking):
1. Photography
2. Cooking

2 things you want really badly:
1. Enjoy life...moment by moment
2. A great relationship with those I love.

2 places you want to go on vacation:
1. British Columbia
2. Europe (Italy France England )

2 things you want to do before you die:
1. Feel like i did something of worth...made a difference!
2. Raise my children

2 ways that you are stereotypically a chick:
1. care about what others think
2. indecisive (not sure if that is just chicks)

2 things you are thinking about right now:
1. House decisions. specifically paint color in the kitchen
2. how to be a better person and mom

2 stores you shop at:
1. Target
2. internet

A shamless plug

My very good friend, Eryn (love this girl) started a company On the Hip selling long length tees for under and outer wear. Some are designed to go under cloths and some stand on there own. Check out her web site On the Hip Clothing for her entire collection. There are several styles and all made with quality materials. My favorite is the long sleeve hoodie and completely unique to On the Hip. I Love it. ENJOY!

life cycle

So my cycle, the one where i can't stand myself or my life that last about a week, has come and stayed with me...its been a month now. I am deeply sadened by my relationship with my 3 small children. I feel I am not a good mother and they truly deserve better than me. I have nothing to bring to the table. I am not very smart. I am completely pessimistic. Constantly questioning myself. Oh I could go on, but I am not trying to bag on myself just understand me.

These thought all came when I was talking to my husband about me. He asked what i like about myself and sadly I could think of nothing. Well the only thing I thought of was I can "love" really well, and still I question that. But it is something. I can also pick up on things quickly and when i want to do something I usually can do it well, but sadly I am not feeling that way about life. I feel I am getting it all wrong.

hopefully day by day I can break out of this rut.

much needed time

Now begins my psuedo vacation. My mom willing is watching the kids for a day a night and half a day. So grateful to her for doing this as a I deperately need time to regroup. Being a single mom these days is not easy.

Something I don't want to forget.

My sweet 3 year old daughter Tess, who is quite the daddy's girl and at times I wonder how she feels about me, told me during a converation "i love you both the same". Referring to her daddy and me. It was so adorable. It's moments/random thoughts like these I will miss the most when they get older.

Thank you Tess for making me smile.

me and her

It's hard to admit this, but me and her, we didn't get off to the best start. It's not that we didn't connect or get that mother/daughter bond from her infancy, quite the opposite, because of her unwavering bond to me she was such a difficult baby that I noticed there was tension between us. I wish the first several months of her life had been different, but the truth is I was trying to figure it out and so was she. After about 9 months the cloud lifted and she enjoyed more people than just me and the burden lifted.

Now, me and her, we're as close as ever enjoying each other and the time we spend together. I pray it will always be this way between us, and yet I know relationships are bound to ebb and flow so I hope and pray we will always find our way back here.

"...because i'm 3"

anytime anyone says anything about the number 3, she always throws her three fingers high in the air and says, "ya, becuase i'm three!"

for example...
i will tell her she can have 3 pieces of candy, "ya, becuase i'm three!"
i will ask her how many carrots she wants, "three, because i'm three"

she is so adorable. i will certainly miss her way.

funny silly sweet

first of all some of my favorite photos ever. i just continued to shoot and these are what i ended up with. she was in such a funny mood today and actually sat and allowed to me take pictures of her. what you see is her to a tee. funny silly sweet.