millions of 72 hour kits

last night for our stake yw/ym activity we put togehter about a thousand 72 hr kits. I am not exaggerating. Ok maybe a little, but at least 600-1000. I had the job of taking all the backpacks out of the plastic packages and put them in a pile. I wasn't the only person doing that job, but man did it take a while and the pile was enormous.

When we first moved into our ward last fall our stake was putting together 72 hr kits for anyone in the stake who wanted them. I was acutally in the mode of trying to update what i had so i was thrilled to see it could be so easy as filling out a form and signing a check. I, of course wasn't in yw then so I had nothing to do with putting it together. Then a few months ago things went so well that they offered kits to the neighborhood. Volenteers walked the streets knocking doors taking orders. Wow, what an undertaking. Last night I sat in awe at what the youth, the leaders, and even some parents were doing. I was so impressed. It made me appreicate my packs so much more. I am really glad I could be a part of it.


edited to add:

Here is what i can remember of the items that are in the packs.
2 large water bottles
flashlight
toothbrush/floss/toothpaste
first aid kit
gloves (like gardening gloves. i'm thinking for if there's a disaster and you help with clean up...not sure exactly)
heavy duty knife
whistle
package food that will last.
warm blacket
rain poncho
glow stick

I think that was it but i could be missing a few things. It was just the basics. They gave you ideas of what to add like underware, sock, cloths, baby formula etc. Things of that nature that you would need to do on your own depending on your family. The thing about 72 hr kits is you need to continually update them. Changing out clothes that don't fit or different food. Like right now I would mostly likely include a binky in one of my packs just in case. Of course I wouldn't need that in a year or so.

The kit contents were all bought individually and selected by the stake. I am assuming they were purchased at the same place. I have no idea where.

PS i blurred the man's face because he didn't ask to be on the internet.

Good mail to me

oh my.

I didn't think the new Keane could be so good. I have been listening to it all afternoon and love love love it. If you like their music you must run out and buy it or purchase it at itunes today. It's that good. Plus the lead singer is easy on the eyes with a mesmerizing British accent.

This was hard for me to see.

I mean I knew it would be. Our home reduced to rubble. Laying waste for the next big thing. It made me really sad when I first saw it. It took my breath away. I just couldn't believe I agreed to this. Take my house, all my memories, and tare it down.

sigh...

For those of you who don't know we are using our land to development a culdesac. Between our neighbors and our land we are putting in 5 houses. It's a scary proposition, but one that is turning out to be very good for us. Adam has already had tons on interest just since the houses came down and thinks he has the lots sold.

Although I know it is a great thing we are doing and such a good investment i will miss my house terribly. I will miss eating at the nook. I will miss playing in the back. I will miss the old, but reliable tree swings. I will miss having all the kids on one floor. I will miss our flat circular driveway the kids would ride their bikes on. I will miss hearing the pond waterfall at night. I will miss so many things, but most of all I will miss us there. I loved that house.

I suppose a house is just a house and it's only a home when your loved ones are there. I'm looking forward to the day we can show our girls what we've created.

click here for more photos of my old (none existent) home

when i can find the time i will look for the photo of my house so you can see what it originally looked like. i took the photos pre-digital.

personal history

This is the lesson I gave today in YW. I was actually really excited to give it and it went very well. The girls were really receptive to my thoughts and my passion for documenting life. I told them about my Grandmother I am named after that I believe I am a lot alike. I don't have journals of her's to read, but I do know the things she loved to do. Things that I am also interested in and it makes me feel closer to her. Makes me feel like I am connected to her even though I never met her in this life.

So while preparing for this lesson I was amazed at how much I am documenting my life for my children and those to come. My blog is a great example of course of a continuous journal. A place that really holds my true thoughts emotions and what I am going through right now in my life. I hope it will be invaluable to my girls as they become mothers. Scrapbooking is also a really great way I am document life. I didn't say "my life" because I have few pages of myself, but I am challenging myself to do more. I certainly have learned a lot about "me" through the few layouts I have created. I love them and look forward to my girls knowing who I am through my art. Next photography. I see photography as a great way of docuementing life. It's a visual way of seeing what life was like and how I lived and what was important to me.

I have never been so great at keeping a journal, though when I do, I love the freedom it gives me. It is my best friend at times, which is why often I feel there are entries that need to be burned. Times I was too critical or too frustrated and don't want anyone to read it. But honestly, that is me. That is real. That is my life and I wouldn't want to take that away.

So I applaud you all for keeping a journal by writing in your blog. For opening up and sharing something for all of us to learn from. For learning about yourself. For giving this gift to your family. The gift of you.

I love being apart of this.

this week

It has been busy or I should say full of activity. The girls loved having Whitney here and she even stayed another night because she couldn't bare to leave us. Here are a few of the highlights from our week.

• colored with markers and chalk
• made necklaces
• road their scooters/bikes
• went to the park and had dinner
• swimming at the local pool

through it all Bella and Whitney have been inseparable. I am really glad they have each other.

I also received good mail today from Jill as a pre-thank you or "prankyou" for watching Whitney this week.(Jill you apparently have the wrong zip code for me). Totally unexpected and very thoughtful. I just loved that you remembered how much I love wind chimes so I was thrilled to add it to my growing collection. So thank you for the thank you.

everyday...

i am woken by bella, tess, or megan.
i get up anywhere between six and seven o' clock am.
i read my scriptures.
i eat either butter toast or yogurt parfait.
i start a load of laundry.
i try to exercise.
i check in with my fellow bloggers.
i have a piece of chocolate.
i tell my girls I love them.
i dread lunch.
i change multiple diapers.
i read books with my girls.
i take pictures.
i check my email.
i scramble to figure out what to eat for dinner.
i smother my girls with hugs and kisses.
i end the day with adam.
i go to bed anywhere between eleven and twelve o' clock am.
i give thanks to the lord for my many blessings.

getting ready

Are you ever amazed when you catch the perfect photo? The one that shows exactly the feeling you were going for? When I was proofing my photos this morning I came across this and couldn't believe the moment I had captured. The feeling that it gave to me. It spoke comfort. It spoke love.

All weekend I have been trying to read and review all I know about photography. Working out what I think may be the best exposures for the trek I am going on (harsh sun). I am trying to prepare myself so that I can do a good job of documenting this experience. It was such a honor to be asked and although I know they could have asked many people I am the one doing it. Doesn't that sound stressful. I feel overwhelmed at times, but know it is possible. I can do this. I am happy to do this. Actually I am really looking forward to doing this.

I just got home from a trek meeting where they told us what this experience will be like. We went over the itinerary and what is expected of us. We watch a 10 minute DVD of a woman who pulled a cart up a hillside for many miles on her own with a young man at the back pushing and a young woman in the cart sitting. The girl in the cart was crying because she wasn't helping and the two pushing/pulling knelt down several times to pray for help. They had reach their limit, but where able to push through.

That's what I want to capture. The emotion. The frustration. I want my photos to have feeling. I am putting everything I have into this assignment so hopefully that will come out in my work. I'm really looking forward to this.

So now I am off to make myself a skirt.

my girls thoughts on their dad

Today in primary they asked the kids questions about their dads. Here is their reply.

1. My dad works really hard, his job is:
Tess said, "helping his friends"
Bella said, "builds buildings"

2. My dad is ________ years old? That makes him________?
Tess said, "45 yrs old. older than me."
Bella said, "maybe 33. maybe old."

3. When he wants to relax, my dad does this:
Tess said, "he takes a little rest and then goes back to work."
Bella said, "lays on his bed."

4. My dad's favorite thing to do with me is:
Tess said, "help me and play and read to me."
Bella said, "he likes me to help him."

5. What i like best about my dad:
Tess said, "hugging."
Bella said, "he is so nice."

Adam and i got such a kick out of reading their words. I need to remember to do this more often.
My girls adore their father. In fact at times I get jealous of how much. They talk about him all day long and look forward to him coming home. It's quite the celebration when he does. I am so grateful and lucky to have him. They are so lucky to have him.

to all the Fathers in my life...

Happy Father's Day

Thank you for loving me.

Thank you for loving my girls.

Thank you for supporting us.

Thank you for understanding.

Thank you for your prayers.

Thank you for being in our life.

Thank you.

I love.

what i got done...

I worked from 1-4:30 and then took a four hour break to be with Megan. After I got her down at 8:30 I went back and kept going until 12:15am. I could of stayed up longer, but I felt really great about what I had accomplished.

This is actually a lot of layouts in a small period of time. There is of course an explanation. I used inspiration or lifted from others. I always need something to help me get back in the creative flow.

1. remember (first page): was inspired by ali edwards.
2. lucky: inspired by jamie waters. I copied it flat out, but changed colors, wording, products, etc.
3. four: I'm not sure who to give credit to. Found the numbers running down the side with the circle around the age idea on twopeas a while ago.

So I learned something from the experience. My blog makes excellent journaling. The layouts "the race" & "remember" I copied and pasted the words right from the posts. It was the best resource because all of my feelings were fresh when i wrote them. Just another plug for blogs. I will never hesitate again to write something down.

It was really good to work. Really good to feel creative. Really good to just have some time.

a night to myself

Adam is taking Bella and Tess camping. What? I know it sounds crazy. They are going with one of his friends and his 6 yr old daughter. Bella is very excited. Tess is a bit luke warm, but wants to go because she'll get to be with her dad. I will admit I am bit nervous. I do trust that he'll watch them like a hawk, but they have never been camping before. I suppose there's a first for everything.

I am very excited for a little break right here in my own home. This never happens. Of course Megan did not go, too small, but I figure with her nap and getting her to bed at a decent hour it is like being alone.

So I have been thinking all week, "what will I do?" I have a lot of projects I could work on, but really want to scrapbook. I just picked up a bunch of photos and have been looking through magazine trying to get my mind focused. I am looking forward to just having some time to myself and doing something I love that I never have time for.

Last night I put this layout together really quickly so it has given me some hope about getting stuff done. I got the 3:0 idea a year or so ago after seeing a layout about 3 photos and all the photos ended up awful. I thought it was funny and a great idea for my 3 girls 0 boys ratio. I wanted to go shopping for some new supplies today, but my goal is to use what I've got. I have a lot of stuff I haven't used.

















Hopefully I will have tons to share by tomorrow. I am just giddy with excitement.

hi my name's amy and I'm a t-shirtaholic

I love t-shirts

I'm not even sure why exactly or where it all began.

I am draw to them.
I am draw to the 100% soft cotton.
I am draw to the many colors.
I have the hardest time seeing a stack of neatly folded t-shirts at the store and passing them up.

Every time I venture out to look for something new i tell myself I cannot come back with t-shirts. I need something new. Something stylish. I am good sometimes and other times i end up coming home with at least two. On my most recent purchase I was at old navy looking for summer cloths for the girls. I found this perfect T. The one I had been looking for. I actually didn't know this until I bought one and tried in on when I got home. I realized this was the best t-shirt i have found in a really long time and that I must have more. So in true lazy fashion, really I just didn't want to get lured into buying something else, I purchased 5 more T's online. Awesome. Here is a link to the T's online. They are thin and long...perfect for me.

It was such a delightful day when they showed up. I couldn't be happier. Everytime I wear one I think, "this is the best T ever." At times I wish I knew more about style or that I cared more. I guess I just don't. I seem to be a classic t-shirts and jeans kind of gal and I'm ok with that. In fact I am happy about that.

Lagoon

It was our stake lagoon day yesterday. Adam and I thought about taking the kids and then thought again. Not that I wouldn't have wanted to go with them, but we go every year with the whole family when my sister comes to town and lets face it, we only ever end up going on 1 ride. I haven't been to Lagoon or any amusement park and been on the rides for a very long time so I was excited.

We invited some friends to come with us, but they cancelled at the last minute so it was just the two of us. We actually almost didn't go either because of the rain, but we were already on the way and I begged Adam. Actually I think it was more like I kept bugging/telling him I wanted to go and I would be really disappointed if we didn't. I bugged him until we drove into the parking lot. Of course after we pulled in, paid our $7, in true Amy fashion, I questioned our decision to go. I got out of the car torn by what I had just made us do as it began to sprinkle.

It did rain off and on about 5 times, but only for a minute or so (and no lightening or I wouldn't have been there). It was so nice outside the rain didn't even bother us. It was great weather for Lagoon...overcast. It also made for short lines so getting on the rides went quick.

We saw one of those old booth picture taking machines we all use to do with our friends at the mall. Of course I made us go do it. It was old and smelly, but it was fun cramming ourselves into the small space while bright lights flashed in our eyes. I wish I could share them with you now, but the photos never came out. I think we waited 15 minutes and then gave up. I suppose we should have known there was a hand written note tapped to the outside that said, "if you don't get your photos go to game time". I was very disappointed. At least we got a good laugh at the ad on the outside of the machine.

After we went on every ride we wanted to, we shared a rather large delicious dipped chocolate icecream cone. As we sat there eating I looked at him and said, "have we done $40 worth." We both looked at each other so exhausted and just laughed. Its hard to admit when your getting old. Anyway we did a few more rides and then we were ready to go. I talked him into going on the old roller coaster one more time since there was no wait. This has always been my favorite ride at Lagoon. I think because it is so old and you really don't know if it is going to fall apart on you. Apparently this last ride was too much...half way through I looked over at him and said, "I'm done." At that moment I wanted off so bad. I was getting a headache and so tired. I guess you don't know when you've had enough, until you've past your limit.

Anyway, I am so glad we went. I had a great time going on the rides and spending time with Adam. It was like old times. Carefree.

For some reason blogger is only letting me upload one picture.

I ran into this problem with my camp post. What up? Anyone have any ideas?

click here to see more pictures of our adventure.

a challenge

Yesterday during the value lesson in YW we were given a challenge to read the Book Of Mormon in 40 days. I have done this before, but it was years ago when I was pregnant with Tess. I just loved the experience. The BOM came to life and it read like a story. Each day I looked forward to reading. Each day I had the people, the characters in my thoughts. Each day I felt the spirit so close. I suppose before than I had never read it so quickly. I am so glad I did it then and and excited for this new challenge to do it again. I will be finishing it while I'm at trek so I feel this will just make the experience that much richer.

As I was reading this morning these versus really stood out to me. It made me wonder about what will happen in the end? What will become of our country? Will there be enough righteous to hold off captivity?

2Nephi 1:6&7

Wherefore, I, Lehi, prophesy according to the workings of the Spirit
which is in me, that there shall none come into this land save they shall be brought by the hand of the Lord. Wherefore, this land is consecrated unto him whom he shall bring. And if it so be that they shall serve him according to the commandments which he hath given, it shall be a land of liberty unto them; wherefore, they shall never be brought down into captivity; if so, it shall be because of iniquity; for if iniquity shall abound cursed shall be the land for their sakes, but unto the righteous it shall be blessed forever.

If you've never read the Book Of Mormon in a short period of time, DO IT. It is an awesome experience. You will not regret it.

Anyway I just thought I would share.

What an experience

you are fore-warned...

this is a long entry on my camp experience.

Think about it this way I didn't post at all this week.

You know I wasn't even sure I would be going as planned until Sunday afternoon and even then the YW president told me to just plan on going home with one of the leaders on Wednesday afternoon and come back Thursday so I could be there for the testimonies. I, of course was just willing to do whatever they needed, but I still packed for Tuesday thru Thursday and decided we would figure it out when I was there. I think they was a bit of concerned about sleeping arrangements and not having enough space because 3 girls came at the last minute.

Tuesday:

We got up to camp, which was only about an hour drive up in Heber Valley, just in time to go on the scheduled hike. We had been told it was suppose to be a 4 mile mild hike that turned into a much longer hike straight up to the top of the valley ridge. I was fine and it was not hard for me. In fact I loved it and despite being occationally hot I really enjoyed it. It was a gorgeous view, although a lot of it was missed since you were looking down at your feet most the time. I wished the girls had enjoyed it more, but there was a lot of complaining. I don't really blame them, we were inadequately prepared for this hike. No one really knew how hard it would be and the leaders in charge only told the girls to take a water bottle. I was out of water when we had a mile to go and lots of the girls were too. Anyway I did my best to keep their spirits up I mean really there was only one way out. The whole thing took about 4 1/2 hours most of it up hill. After the hike we just pretty much hung out and talked, did crafts, and took showers. It wasn't until after dinner that it started to pick up again. We all got really silly in fact the mere fact that I couldn't get my sleeping bag out of the bag had us all in giggles.

Anyway later on that evening I ended up in an conversation with a couple of the girls about their lives, there frustrations with family life, their parents, etc. It was such a great bonding experience that of course would not have happened had I not been there. Most of these girls babysit for me as well so it was so nice to feel closer to them. I just listened and only gave advice if asked. I actually learned a lot about parenting a teenage girl. Interestingly enough it all came down to what I have been learning about in the "Love and Logic Parenting" courses.

Wednesday:

Breakfast was cooking and we, some of the leaders were talking about the trek they're going on and how much work they still have to do when they get home from camp. I was just listening and remembering what Adam went through as YM President last year when our stake prepared for trek. Suddenly, the YW Stake President looked at me and said, "we need a photographer to come on trek with us to take pictures of the experience?" I was taken back thinking, is she talking to me. So my answer was, "I'm not a photographer." Then she said, "but you like to take pictures, right?" And I said, "Yes, I do." Then she said, "that is exactly what I'm looking for. I have asked several people and everyone had turned me down." Now I must have had a very strange look on my face, I mean I was sort of in shock that she was even asking me this, when my YW president spoke up and said, "she does have 3 small kids at home and it may be difficult." I was thinking ya, you're right, I do. I wouldn't be able to do this because lets face it I really don't want to go trekking along in July weather with a skirt and bonnet on and no bathrooms. But I said, "I'll see if I can make something work, but I don't know that I can." All she said was, "Do what you can. I understand your situation, but we really do need you."

Later in the afternoon we were scheduled for the challenge course, which is a bunch of obstacles the girls need to complete together. It's a mind challenge and one that can't be done alone. It's all about team work and trusting each other. While at the second challenge I saw a storm coming our way. I looked at the other leader with me and said, "if it thunders we should think about leaving". A few more minutes past and sure enough I heard and saw lightening. I said again, "I think we should go back to camp". But we waited. I think we were waiting for the other leaders to tell us to go, but I wish I would have just listened to my gut that kept telling me to leave. It wasn't until the storm was upon us that we started running. It was a pretty wicked thunder storm with enormous rain drops accompanied with lightening. What happened next is not an exaggeration...I wish it were. As we were running back to camp I saw and heard this massive explosion about 30 feet from me in a small open field. I actually saw the lightening come down and explode into a white ball. I felt a force push me backwards like a bomb had just gone off. I could feel the energy in the air. It was surreal. Unbelievable. I looked at the girls and told them to keep running. I was scared. Really scared. I have known several people personally who have been killed by lightening to know how real the danger is. We eventually reached the cabin shook up, but OK. As I sat there thinking about what just happened to us I realized I had this massive headache where I felt the explosion. It took several hours, but it eventually went away. It only took about 30 minutes for the storm to pass us and we were then able to go back a while later to finish the course. It was a crazy experience. I am so grateful for the watchful eye of the Lord and that no one was hurt. I only wish I would have trusted my instincts and gone ten minutes before the storm hit.

Thursday:

After breakfast we started our gratitude service project. Our task was to take wood chips and place them on the trails. It was actually easy and pleasant since it was in the morning and cool. We then were able to go back to the challenge course to do the zip line which we were unable to do the day before due to the rain. The girls loved it. In fact I would have loved trying it, but they don't allow adults to do any of the challenges anymore since they're the only ones that get hurt.

That night we had the bishops or ward reps come eat dinner, watch the girls skits, and a testimony meeting. It was really great to see how some of the girls had really grown and strengthened their testimony while there. Right after I gave all the girls a hug and walked down the path with my ride. I was sad to be leaving.

It was such an amazing experience for me. For a lot of reasons really. First, I was able to get to know the girls better which is why I wanted to go in the first place. I really wanted to understand the girls I was teaching and as an advisor its harder to do. I feel like I accomplished that and saw a different side to them. Second, I was able to get to know the ladies I serve with better. Being in a new ward I didn't know them going in and feel I know them now. In fact, I feel I have a friend in them. The president kept telling me how grateful she was that I came, how much she needed me, and how much fun she had with me. I couldn't have gotten a better compliment than that. Third, I meet some really incredible woman from other wards and in the stake presidency. They really taught me about service and love. There was this woman who drove up everyday to help with food. I found out it was the YW stake secretary's mother. She was truly amazing. One afternoon I was talking to her and said, "You are so great to come up here everyday and do this." She looked at me and said, "This is what we do. This is what we do for each other." Then she told me to go look at the quote on the fridge. I don't know why I didn't write it down because I can't find it now, but it was about when service is hard to do it is the most rewarding. As I searched for it online I found this.

Most of us don't demonstrate our unselfishness in such a dramatic way, but
for each of us unselfishness can mean being the right person at the right
time in the right place to render service. Almost every day brings
opportunities to perform unselfish acts for others. Such acts are unlimited
and can be as simple as a kind word, a helping hand, or a gracious smile. President Faust Ensign Nov 2002

When I read it I couldn't help think about what the stake YW President had asked me the day before...going on trek. It was then I did not believe her asking me was a coincidence. I felt like one of the reasons I went to camp was to meet her and be willing to share something I love to do no matter how hard I think it would be. It also puts a lot of pressure on me to document the experience correctly, but I have full trust in the Lord that I will do my best. I never did give her an answer as I am still trying to work on getting my kids taken care of. Adam tells me he will do whatever he can to support me, like take a week off work, and I am going to speak with my mom when she gets back in town for help as well. I am now really excited to be doing this. To be doing my part. I love all the woman I met and would love to do it with them again and it seems I will get the chance to in a month.

The Lord works in mysterious ways. This camp did more for me than I thought possible. I am so grateful to be in the Young Woman program. I am so grateful for the opportunities I have been given. I am so grateful for the wonderful supportive people around me daily.

With all that said. I am grateful to be home.

for some reason I am unable to post more photos. Will try again later.

tutorial 101: creating categories

First of all I don't assume that I know more than anyone else; however, there were some comments at the party about creating categories so I thought I would show you how.

Look at my lower right sidebar...the pink cloud. Those are my categories. If you click on them you will see a list of my posts that fall under that specific category. I may change it into a list, which you can do, but for now this is what I've done.

In order to do this you first need to set up a del.icio.us account. This account will allow you to tag your posts and put them in a category. It is very easy to do. Once you have an account it will prompt you to download the "post to del.icio.us" in your favorites. DO IT. It is the best way to create your tags. From there all you have to do is go to your blog, find the post you want to tag and click on the "post to del.icio.us" found in your favorites (I have since moved mine to my link bar). It will bring up a window that asked you to define it...add notes, tag (the category). Don't worry if you change your mind on the category you can always go back and edit later if needed. You have now saved the category and if you go to your del.icio.us account under "my favorites" you will see your post tagged.

Next getting them onto you blog. While being logged into your del.icio.us account go to "help". Then under "blog integration" click "tag rolls". This will bring up your list of tags in a cloud or list. You now have the option of changing your categories to display on your blog as you wish. You can change the color, the size, and even the title. Once you've got it the way you like just copy and paste the code shown in the box called "hypertext" into your blog where you want it to be. (it's just like adding any link). Save and republish and it should be on your blog. Note: The categories will not show up on your blog unless you verify yourself by returning an email to del.icio.us. The site will tell you to do this when you create the account.

Hope this made sense. Make sure to email me with any questions.

Have fun.

Man this weekend was crazy

1. It all started Friday with the blog party. I had such a good time meeting all of you I don't know personally and seeing all those that I do. Jana I enjoyed cleaning the bathroom with my new grapefruit cleaning spray. Thanks.
2. I woke up Saturday with Megan and her ear ache. I think we are on number 12. I stopped counting since she gets them about once a month. So I spent most of my morning at the doctors, and getting her a prescription.
3. Then Saturday afternoon we headed out to Estee's, my niece, 1st birthday party. It was a lot of fun and the kids had such a good time. They are still talking about it. I had the enjoyable task of documenting the day with Amy's fabulous new camera. I have since seen some of the photos on her blog and hope they are happy with them. I really enjoyed doing it. Interesting to note...while there I met some fellow blog readers. It was really good to meet you.
4. Then off to costco and home. I think by the time we got home it was so late I didn't have it in my to do anything else. We got the kids taken care of and watched "King Kong". I am not sure what I thought about it. It sure was long.
5. Got up early Sunday to review my lesson, which we didn't even have time to give. My class ended up watching a 15 minute video on the temple instead.
6. When we got back from church we quickly ate dinner and then started to clean. Our ward has an elders quorum gathering every fast Sunday where everyone brings a dessert and just hangs out. I love these parties. We finally had it at our house. We were suppose to do it last month, but had to cancel as that's the week everyone had the flu. Even though it felt crazy getting ready for, I loved having it here. I just love my ward. Love it. By the time everyone left it was 9pm.

So this morning I am enjoying a little calm. No where to go. Nothing really pressing to do, but laundry and packing. Just taking it easy before my week starts to get crazy. I am leaving for camp tomorrow morning. I am looking forward to a break from the norm and getting to know the girls in my class. It should be a really good time.

my catalyst

I have been thinking a lot about my husband today. Thinking about what a great man I have supporting me, loving me, pushing me to be the best I can.

Last night we sat on our porch and talked for about three hours or so. When I say "talk" I don't mean chit chat, I mean we had a conversation about us, how we're doing, and what we could do better. In fact this is a regular occurrence for us. We have this beautiful open relationship where we can speak freely (in a constructive manner) about our thoughts and concerns.

I haven't always been the best communicator. Actually I stunk. Partly because it's hard. Opening up a problem just means you have to face it and I was so good at hiding and pretending. Hoping that the issue would resolve itself and go away. Of course it never does and it inevitably gets worse. Sometimes he exhausts me and I fight it, but I have always been so grateful for his patience and willingness to teach me this invaluable tool. I have come to see through our (almost 10 year) marriage just how powerful communicating can be.

Of course sometimes too much communication about any subject can be damaging. I mean I feel all too often that I'm facing the problem just because I talked about. This is the part I need major work on...the follow through. Just doing it. Taking all that I now know and putting it into play. I struggle with this, not because I don't want to, but because I am lazy or its hard or.....I suppose I could go on and on. Really there is no good excuse. He deserves a good wife. I deserve a good husband. We both deserve to be loved and that should be enough reason to work hard on us.

He makes me want to be a good person. He makes me want to be the best person. He pushes me to make decisions, which I am so bad at, which I need. He pushes me to feel. He pushes me to think. He gives me love. He gives me hope. He respects who I am. The best part...he loves who I am. And I love him for it.