stories from the past

I was privileged to spend the weekend at my dad’s family reunion. You see I wasn’t technically invited, it wasn’t for my generation, I was only there to document the event, but as I witnessed my dad, my aunts & uncle gather together with long lost cousins, (some of them meeting for the very first time) I knew this was exactly where I needed to be surrounded by their laughter and tears and what seemed like endless hours of storytelling about generations past. I felt like I found a little bit of myself as I witnessed this gathering I didn’t know was lost.



I have always had this extreme fondness for my Grandma Gretchen, whom I never had the privilege of meeting in this life. I guess you could say my affection for her came from the fact that I was named after her, and for the longest time I wanted to be like her. Growing up my parents had this picture of my grandma and grandpa in Hawaii sipping a drink out of a coconut. I remember telling myself I would get to Hawaii one day and drink from a coconut too. When I was in my late teens I taught myself to knit and discovered knitting came naturally. “Of course it did” I would tell myself. “I’m just like my Grandmother”.

So naturally being at this family reunion and hearing stories about my grandma with her eight sisters and three bothers I was intrigued, fascinated about their life in Montana back in the 1930s. Made me wonder what my life would be like if they had never left Great Falls in 1955. Perhaps that is why I sometimes craved small town living and romanticize life on the prairie — am I a Montanan at heart?

There were several stories that really struck me, but none more than this made me long for my Grandma more than I had before. She had two brothers who passed away. Her oldest brother Willis, died before she was born, she never knew him. Her next oldest brother Ellsworth died when he was about 20 in a work accident, which would have made my grandma a teenager. I couldn’t help, but recognize the similarities in our life story (brothers dying by accident at the prime of their life) and wished, so deeply wished, my grandma had been alive for me when my brother passed away and had been able to shed some light, given me some words of wisdom that would have helped my younger, inexperienced self heal.

Her generation is gone now, the last of her siblings, Doris, died in 2009. I met my great aunt Doris a few times in Montana as I recall, but I was too young, too immature to understand what a treasure I had in her. Why didn't I sit and talk with her about my grandma? Why didn’t I ask her about life in Montana? How could I have been so careless? How could I just watch my grandparents generation die (both my  mothers&fathers) without really trying to understand their world?

I didn’t see. I didn’t understand, but I do now.

Being a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints I’ve always been taught the importance of family history and genealogy work, but I didn’t understand until now the blessings that come from connecting the family tree. I was always so wrapped up in my immediate family to seek among the branches for answers, for connections, but oh I see how wrong I was. There is something very special about being surrounded by individuals who share the same blood, the same family history, the same scandals (yes there are several), the same heartaches, the same smile, the same laughter.

This past weekend the genealogy bug stirred deep in me. Getting to know those who have gone before, who are part of me, seeing them through their stories, and understanding their world is now inching it's way to the top of my list.

I'd say I can't wait to get started -- but I already have.


Have you done any genealogy work?
I'm a bit intimidated, should I be?

12of12 | March

01. Morning run.
02. View from run -- love watching the sun come up over the mountains
03. Tried to take Lola on a walk -- she wasn't having it.
04. She says coming home with paint on her face means a good day at art.
05. Red chucks just seemed to fit the mood of the day.
06. Spending time with Lola outside in the fabulous spring like weather.
07. Loving the blue sky.
08. Silliness with girls.
09. Saying goodnight to Lola.
10. The green is beginning to spring. :)
11. Love notes from Megan (clay on the wall).
12. A wall of instagrams.

For whatever reason I kept forgetting throughout the day to take photos. Has that ever happened to you? There were many moments today I normally would have documented that I simply failed to do so, for instance, when we went to get frozen custard. I literally only had 14 photos to choose for my 12of12 collage -- a slow photo day for me I guess. It was beautiful though, and very spring like, I can't complain. In fact I even like the way it turned out.

Hope you all had better luck at documenting your day. We win some and loose some I suppose.

puppy love

Valentine’s day Adam and I begin our trek back home. Somewhere between Las Vegas and Mesquite we started talking about dogs. He mentioned looking on KSL classifieds to see if there were any 1+ year old bulldogs for sale we could stop and see in St. George. There was none, but it got me looking and while Adam took a few business calls I searched online.

I found a great breeder for Olde English Bulldogges that was 60 miles north of home. The information on their website was fantastic and the one puppy left was so adorable by the time we got to Cedar City (approx 2 1/2 hours later) I called and asked about Repunzel (the name the breeders gave her). I’m not even sure how it happened -- I told Lisa, the breeder, I’d have to call her back to schedule a day to come see her, but the more we got talking about it, the more we wanted her and decided to go that day. Honestly we wanted an adult dog, one that was potty trained and wouldn't whine through the night, but the puppy was just too cute we couldn't resist having her from the beginning and watching her grow.



We called the girls from the road and let them know we’d be home around 4:30pm and to be ready for a big Valentine’s Day surprise. Admittedly I felt a little panicked, but excited at the same time. I had missed Mia’s company a lot and knew it was time -- my family needed a dog of their own. Six + hours later we got home and hopped right back in the car with the girls. We then asked them to guess what the surprise was. Tess said it was the flat downtown with the movie theater in the basement, Bella thought it was a dog, and Megan thought it was one direction tickets, which Adam replied "if it was one direction tickets I wouldn't be this excited." After the guesses we gave them the Valentines card we made with hearts turning into paw prints. It took them a few minutes to understand what it was saying,  but once they got it they sat silent in shock and then the screaming started, and the "no way", "pinch me". They simply couldn't believe the news.

With tons of anticipation we made it to the breeders home to met our new family member around 6pm. The girls knew there was no guarantee that we’d be bringing the puppy home, but we were pretty confident it would take something big to not fall in love with her. She was so sweet and soft, and just nuzzled her head into whoever was holding her -- we were hooked.


How could we not -- look at that face!


On the way home we discussed names. Adam, in his silly man way, wanted to name her Sha’niquah, Shaq for short, but the rest of us weren't having it. We talked about Charly, Dotty, Jo Jo, Boo, Mimi, Betsy (that’s what I really wanted), but we eventually settled on Lola.



We spent the rest of the evening at PetSmart buying the store out with dog stuff -- let’s just say we were not prepared to bring a puppy home. By the time we got home it was after 9pm -- Adam and I fell into bed. It had been a very long, but exciting day for everyone.



I hardly got any sleep that first night, and the several nights after, as we both began to figure each other out. The once intimidated, unsure puppy we brought home Thursday night has now turned more playful. By Sunday she was finally more comfortable with us and began to show us her true colors. Lucky for me she almost slept through the night last night. :)

Have you ever had a puppy? We have, but I am definitely out of practice. I've been looking online for help, there is so much out there it's hard to know what is best, so if any of you have any training advice or links to websites/videos that have worked for you I would be greatly appreciate. Thanks!

Happy Wednesday!!

12of12 | August

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01. Just waking up.
02. Making my rounds waking up the girls and came across this printout on Bella's night stand. I think there is too much One Direction in my life right now.
03. We attempted yet again to create a gorgeous huge hanging flower arrangement, but to no avail. For the third year in a row the flowers didn't multiply. I told Adam next year we just need to buy them all grown.
04. Took photos of the Primary children at church today. Luckily they were patient as I did them one at a time.
05. The fruit is almost ready to be picked.
06. Waiting for Bella and Megan to open the door for me this afternoon -- it was locked. They teased me for a bit, making me wait longer, knowing I would take their photo. They are becoming more and more aware of the twelfth every month.
07. A little girl at church asked to take my photo after I had taken hers and without relinquishing my camera completely, she was 4 after all, she took this. I quite like the way it highlighted love.
08. Cookie dough -- a must on Sundays.
09. Pet Shops. All lined up and ready for play.
10. Minutes before lunch/dinner.
11. Tickle fight.
12. Met up with our friends to put the finishing touches on our Jackson Hole trip. We leave Wednesday. I'm excited for one more get away.

Although I didn't get to take my much enjoyed Sunday nap, the day was full of all kinds of goodness. Wish I was able to capture them all on film. For instance, there was a moment today I would like to remember, but didn't document -- Bella speaking in church for the first time. If I wouldn't have been looking at her I would have guessed she was a 20 year old. So confident with such a great message. She amazes me daily.

I hope you all had a great day. Share away :)

12of12 | July

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01. Megan had the hardest time getting up this morning. Even though it's summer we still have violin at 6:45am. Bummer.
02. Found these flowers on the way into violin. The one perk about being up early in the summer -- you get to watch the sunrise.
03. Bella has been joining me in the front passenger seat lately. I've quite enjoyed her company next to me.
04. We went to boondocks today and Tess and I couldn't stop laughing on the race track. We had the slowest car and kept getting passed up by everyone. She can't wait until she's tall enough to ride the big cars herself.
05. It was such a riot on the bumper boats. How come it is so much fun to attack your family with water?
06. We all got seriously soaked on the bumper boats, but it was nice for once to not feel so blasted hot.
07. Spent some time in the batting cages. I have to say I did fairly well for a girl who hasn't picked up a bat in 20+ years.
08. Laser tag continues to be one of the funnest games we play together as a family. So much smack is happening at the beginning of the game about who will dominate. You won't hear if from me though. I don't know what it is, but I'm horrible at this game. Even my girls beat my highest score. Pathetic!
09. Taylor, my 15 year old niece who has a drivers permit, is a ruthless driver. Should I be afraid of her on the road? She saw an opening and edged Amy and Estee out of our way. Can't say it wasn't fun.
10. Sweet little Lewis. He was along for the ride today and was, for the most part, happy about it. Have really enjoyed the extra time with him. What a delightful boy.
11. Megan counting up her tickets -- she ended up with 456. I thought it was a ton for her, but she was quickly disappointed when she realized the big bear she wanted was 5000 tickets. Keep in mind the big bear can be found at Costco for close to $20. Looks like I know what to get for Christmas.
12. My dad and sister Jeni being, well, being them. I adore these two. So wish she lived close. I had it when our time is over.

What a fabulous day! When my sister suggested we go to boondocks Thursday I didn't realize it was the twelfth. In fact, I'm actually not a fan of having a big activity on the twelfth. I prefer to capture daily life, but then again, I suppose that's what we were doing. The best of times!

Hope you all had a great day!

12of12 | June | iPhone version

01. Morning
02. Backyard pool = all day in the sun
03. Ready to jump in and cool off. It was 99 degrees.
04. 3D glasses from last night show Aladdin. She popped the lenses out and has been wearing them around.
05. It was amazing to look around and see the scattered amount of water toys.
06. Megan and her friend enjoying the pool.
07. Making beaded bracelets by the pool to pass the time.
08. The color of shade.
09. Flowers Waiting to bloom
10. Inside outside
11. running errands with Bella
12. Enjoying what flowers can survive the heat.

It was a fun change to use my phone the whole day -- it's always nice to mix it up. Although I will be ready to go home, it was great to come home from NH and go straight on vacation. After a full week of travel and teaching it was perfect to take a few days to veg.

How was your day??

52 photo project | weeks 46 | this is my home

Early on in our marriage I realized not to get too attached to the places I lived, which was completely opposite to my personality. I'm the type of person that wants to put down roots and stay awhile. I grew up in the same home, around the same people until I moved off to college so I guess you could say I was taught for most of my life to stay in one place. Adam's childhood was quite the opposite. He moved every few years, living not only in different houses, but different states.

Our married life has definitely been more about moving than staying, and perhaps it's normal when you're first starting out to begin small and upgrade until you find the home/neighborhood that's right for your family, but it almost seemed like a need, a way of life Adam was use to, so we've kept up the tradition and moved along.

Living in five different zip codes and five different homes since we've been married (15 years) I've tried, like I said, not to get attached. This home we live in now we've been here for seven years, the longest of any home, and I am quite fond of it, but honestly no more than the others. I have been fond of all our homes and have cried as we packed up and driven away for the last time. But it's not the structure I'm sad to leave, it's the memories I made there I don't want to leave behind or forget -- becoming a mother, crossing the threshold as a new bride, becoming a wife, learning to keep my own home, relationship breakthroughs, having pets, learning to remodel, patience, walks around the neighborhood, baking catastrophes, starting traditions, bringing children home from the hospital -- just to name a few.

Five houses later and I understand completely, it's my most favorite people, my family, that make our house a home. It doesn't matter where, if they're filling the spaces with their laughter, music, and words I am home. I'm exactly where I want to be.


This. This is my home. All snuggled up in bed reading a book together.

everydayness | late january

Since the new year I've continued taking photos everyday -- after so many years of doing it it's no longer a goal, but a habit. This year though, I'm not just reaching for my canon when I see something I want to capture, I grab my iphone too. Suddenly my digital files are even more instant and I have a quicker easier way to share them so sitting in front of my computer screen editing just hasn't felt necessary, let alone appealing -- hence my lack of posts.

Today though, I finally made myself sit down and go through the rest of January -- February will have to wait for another day (it was just too much to do all at once).

here are a few that caught my attention.


I made something! The girls needed new towels and thanks to their nana they had to have a hood. It was a quick and easy two stitches. One to sew up the side of the hand towel and the second to sew the hand towel to the bath towel.


a game or two is almost always pulled out on sunday evenings.


grateful to see there were no screens involved :)


enjoying any bit of snow we can get.


she loves braiding my hair, particularly at night, right before bed.


with the warmer weather this winter I've been taking a lot more walks -- this time I was downtown.


lately I see more and more of her animals joining her for breakfast.

mornings

I remember so clearly when I use to look forward to nap time. Don't get me wrong, of course I enjoyed spending time with my little girls, but when that's what I did for the majority of my day getting a little time to think, read, or create was a welcome change. There was really nothing like a little quite time to rejuvenate my spirit.

How funny life is and how quickly parts of your day can go from incredibly full to unbearably quite. It was only a few years ago that I was at home with three little girls clinging to my every step to now being overwhelmed by the still quite that comes from a house full of empty.



The way my life has naturally evolved has given me a few new favorite hours. Naps are a thing of the past and now it's in the morning hours right before the girls head off to school that I savor. It is, I'd say, some of the busiest minutes of my day. Girls are scurrying about the house looking for last minute hats and gloves, homework, even lunches are getting thrown together, but then there is a peaceful moment where we all gather in the living room, say a prayer, read a few verses of scripture, and hugs and kisses are exchanged before sending them on their way.

I always watch them walk/run up the street as I say a silent prayer that they will be safe and have a wonderful day. Sometimes I will yell an I love you as they disappear around the corner, but regardless I'm always standing there waiting to wave when they turn back to say that finally goodbye.

As I walk inside the door and am faced with the stillness of our home, a stark contrast to the minutes before when the house was full of noise, I take a deep breath and move forward with my day.

There's not a whole lot I can do to slow down time, so I am most grateful for this very normal daily routine that greets me every morning.

12of12 | February

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01. the morning light
02. Tess making breakfast for the two of us.
03. It was her favorite and mine, scrambled eggs.
04. Of course Bella was ready for church before anyone else and reading to pass the time.
05. A valentine mess in my studio -- really hoping my girls finished addressing their valentines while I attended my multiple meetings.
06. The rain we woke up to finally turning to snow.
07. As I ran to my car after church I couldn't help, but get covered by snowflakes.
08. Most of the day was a complete whiteout and I loved it.
09. Family dinner. Even though most of the day we were on different schedules at least we were all able to eat together.
10. Megan and I attended her friends Baptism.
11. Notes from the parenting class. Another excellent night.
12. I came home around 8:45pm and saw that she was still reading. I love that she has finally found a love for it.

I was actually really interested to see how this 12of12 would play out. I was gone most of the day visiting other wards, being in charge of a Baptism, and attending a parenting class. I was literally at my church building from 4:30pm-8:45pm. It was a busy day, a long night, and although I did not begrudge my duties I was disappointed I had little time to spend with my family. To me Sunday = family time. I am grateful however, for the time I did have and that the day was beautifully snowy.

I must say, I do love to document a day like this that is totally unexpected, but then again, I guess you could say they all are really, in there own way.

I hope it was a great Sunday for all of you, hopefully a little more relaxing than mine. :)

Happy Monday!!

family dinner

There hasn't been a time in our life when one of us wasn't busy for some reason or another, but once we threw kids into the mix and their schedules, we knew making sure we had family time was crucial. So we have always made dinner time an important part of our day. Of course there are bound to be times when something comes up and we are unable to make it happen, but for the most part we have done our very best to plan everyone's schedules so we can all sit down at the dinner table and have that time together.



My favorite part of dinner time is you never really know where you'll end up once you get started. The conversations twist and turn and before you know it you're talking about the Pledge of Allegiance or what phenomenon means. Case in point: after Tess finished telling us all about the mountain men she's learning about in school Megan chimed in and completely changed the subject, "Dad tell us what your favorite thing is about us, each of us." He happily took on her challenge and then like magic, everyone took their turn -- not a grumble in the bunch.

It was quite interesting for me to hear everyone's responses, each description just as true as the next. Me, being the last, had tougher shoes to fill because I wasn't allowed to say what anyone else had said. I loved it and loved the collection of favorites we ended up with, but mostly I loved getting a better understanding of my girls and how they saw each other.

here's the list.

Dad
M- Smart and intelligent
T- let's you do things mom doesn't
B- spends time with me
G- listens and wants to understand

Mom
M- soft skin and sweet
T- helps me when i need it
B- teaches me how to be a mom
A- all we've shared in our 16+ years

Bella
M- smart
T- helpful
G- thoughtful
A- mature

Tess
M- adventurous
B- encouraging
G- tries hard and won't give up
A- compassionate

Megan
T- crazy
B- always willing to try new foods
G- love for life
A- original


I know this is precious time not all families are able to have whether one parent works or kids are involved in activities, so I am extremely grateful we have been able to pull it off thus far. It has been an invaluable part of our family life and I look forever to it each and every night.

Now if I could just incorporate some new recipes. I feel like I've been in the "recycling recipe mode" since Christmas.

everydayness | november

We watched the leaves fall


and cleaned them up.


We spent a week just the four of us without dad,


and enjoyed, very much, his homecoming.


We made straw art,


and created snowmen.


We danced till we dropped with our new apple tv,

and mellowed out while learning something new.


We entertained ourselves during early morning violin, enjoyed toasty fires at night,


and found time to do something we love.

It was a good month.

12of12 | November

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01. Tess started the day off right by getting her school essay finished. I love to see when my kids take charge of their homework instead of waiting for a nudge from me.
02. A Saturday morning breakfast bagel--at home. They are missing their dad.
03. The wind was crazy strong last night and even this morning. Despite the fact that my tree is getting pounded by the breeze, the leaves continue to hang on.
04. Thought it was funny that Tess and Megan needed each other to put the vacuum away.
05. Fulfilling Megan's request for a "high" ponytail.
06. Finally got to talk with Adam via FaceTime. It was nice to not only see him, but be able to enjoy the scenery from his end (ocean) as he told us about his trip.
07. Last minute laundry before leaving the house.
08. All of us after the movie, Puss in Boots. It was better than I thought it would be. We were missing Jill, Randy, and Landon though, who were at the hospital. Sadly, Landon came home from camping with a broken elbow. Poor guy. Sending out prayers to him--would you please do the same.
09. As we drove home the rain turned to slush turned to snow.
10. Take out linner (lunch/dinner) for me.
11. Enjoying a book & hot chocolate while the girls enjoy their cousins.
12. Snow.

I've been lucky this week while Adam's been away to be surrounded by friends, and today was no exception as I was able to spend time with family. It was a full, gray day that ended with snow, cousins, and hopefully good news for Landon.

I hope your Saturday, and weekend, has been good in every way. Don't forget to share it with us.

Remember how Adam dropped me off at the airport and we talked about a trip together next year.
Remember when Chris wanted to sit next to the exit so he could help people get out of the plane safely--just in case something were to go wrong.
Remember when all of us stood in the Seattle airport and had a conversation with a couple we pretended to know because they clearly knew us, but we couldn't remember who they were?
Remember when we figured out it was the people who bought our childhood home and how sad we were that our conversion could have been so much more personal?
Remember when we couldn't find Enterprise car rental?
Remember when the man stood in front of the Enterprise shuttle bus and yelled at the driver?
Remember when Chris timed the server to see if she could really bring the food in 10 mins like the menu said?
Remember when Grandpa kept wondering why I was taking so many self portraits?
Remember when we drew all over the table?
Remember how the four of us downed a bag of peanut m&ms?



Remember how I got all teary waiting for her to come in the door knowing how happy she'd be to have us in her home?
Remember when we almost gave Jeni a heart attack as she came around the corner and saw us all waiting for her in the living room?
Remember when we surprised Taylor at her soccer game?
Remember how lovely the weather was and how chilly it got once the sun went down?
Remember how we were so hungry we accidentally didn't save Scott any dinner?
Remember how the boys watched sports?
Remember when Poppy, the guinea pig, had her second set of babies and lived?
Remember when we went on a hike and the beautiful view?
Remember when we went to Levenworth and we ate your fondue?
Remember when we didn't have much time to shop or stop by the local farm stand?
Remember how good that cabbage salsa was?



Remember when we saw Moneyball and how cute Brad Pitt was?
Remember when I ran 7 miles?
Remember when Alan's team played an amazing game?
Remember when Chris wouldn't tell you what he ordered for lunch because he didn't want to influence your decision?
Remember when our hilarious volleyball game and how we never wanted it to end?
Remember how bad we all were and how ticked Chris was getting?



Remember when Jeni turned 40?
Remember when her friends all dressed in black?
Remember when we were suppose to go around and say something we loved about her and ended up roasting her instead? :)
Remember when she made another cake because she didn't think mine would be enough and we had a full cake left?
Remember how delicious it was and how no one complained about the excess?
Remember when Alan beat Grandpa at an arm wrestling match?
Remember how sad it was to watch Jeni and the kids get smaller and smaller as we drove away?
Remember how lovely and misty the 2 1/2 hour drive was?
Remember when we arrived 2 hours early for our flight?
Remember what it felt like to be home?
Remember how much we miss having Jeni close?

a wednesday night

I've been asked several times why I choose to take the photos I do.
My answer, I capture what I always want to remember.

And I wanted to always remember the spontaneous moment of this night.



How the girls smooth talked Adam and I into abandoning school work and a messy kitchen to enjoy the beautiful evening together by going to Nielsen's Frozen Custard. The way they brought their wadded cash which had been hid away for just such a moment. The silliness that trickled it's way through each one of them as the deliciousness of the event sunk in. The magical light that accompanied us on the six minute drive. The view of color that was just beginning to spread on the tip of the mountain side.



It was simple and ordinary, but I never wanted to forget it--and now I never will.

Happy Monday!

12of12 | September

01. The moon as I was leaving on my run this morning.
02. Girls making lunches--a part of their morning routine.
03. Megan drew a self-portrait of the two of us on the chalkboard Saturday. According to her it's to remain up until I get back.
04. A detailed schedule for Adam & my mom of the girls comings and goings this week.
05. We spent the evening walking around the 9/11 memorial. Definitely a sobering experience to walk around and read about the individual lives that were lost that day.
06. Had lunch with my dear friend Laurie.
07. A lot of this day has been about packing up for New Hampshire. Yes, that is a heating pad and cake pans in my suitcase. The heating pad is for my bed at night (no heat in an uninsulated cabin) and the cake pans are for my food photography class. I must say it is rather delightful packing for fall weather.
08. Another shot from the 9/11 memorial.
09. Adam helping Megan with her afternoon homework.
10. Target for last minute purchases.
11. Another shot from the 9/11 memorial.
12. Last, but certainly not least, Adam surprised me with an ipad of my very own to take on my trip. I was and am still in shock about it. Looks like traveling alone to the east coast won't be so lonely after all. Wahoo!

It was one of those day with lots on my to-do list, getting out of town is always full of last minute details. Of course it's the kind of busy you are happy to do. I am, I believe, all set to leave for New Hampshire--now. I hope you had an equally productive day or at least a delightful one.

Since then...

Tess brought her friend Buddy to life and has thus far been enjoying trimming his locks and keeping him alive.


the girls have enjoyed endless play dates together,


and evenings at the park.


we've watched countless sunsets,


and have continued to spend time writing in our journals, well at least they have. I haven't been as good as I'd hoped.


we've caught a Bees game,


and had a bbq in the lovely outdoors with our friends at their cabin.


the girls had the chance to dress up like pioneers for our annual church meeting at This Is The Place bowery,


and learned to play the game of life, they love it.


we've enjoyed probably too many nights at Nielsen's Frozen Custard. mmmmm delicious!


Bella's been doing a bit of babysitting, at home, with the ween little ones,


and thankfully Adam has been helping me get ready for our primary parade this weekend. thanks love.


Happy Monday!