amygretchen

Today, for some reason, I see how short our lives actually are & how often I forget to look in your eyes & stop time entirely & say, You have made this life for me. -storypeople

I had a dream the other night about death. You know the kind you wake up with a start, your heart beating at a rapid pace, and tears fall with gratitude -- it was only a dream? It's certainly not the first time I've dreamt of someone I care about dying and certain not the last, but it stuck with me, as those dreams tend to do, and I spent my day processing found my self thinking about it.  I've even had the reverse happen where I dream of someone who is dead, but in my dream they're very much a live and it's so real I forgot reality and wake up ying because it was true, but that a story for a different day.

But this time after some time to process my dream and shake it off it got me thinking about life and how fragile it is and how we never know how much time we have left to experience. I wondered what I could do daily to make life more meaningful and if I knew today was my last day to live what would I do differently than I did yesterday? How much would it change the way I used my time? How would I spend time with my girls? How would I end the day with Adam? How would I speak with friends? How would my priorities SHIFT?

What would you do differently, or how would you live your life if you knew it was your last?

Well first let's put it this into perspective -- obviously if I knew today was my last I wouldn't be on the computer blogging and my girls wouldn't be in school and Adam would be off work and we would spend the day together and who knows what hilarity would ensure. (makes me smile just thinking about it -- the "day" not the "last" part). No I mean looking at life as a whole, a true day to day. if you knew it was your last day but you didn't know it at th time, meaning you would go about life as normal, you would change anything but you make the day count more, make your time more meaningful.

Don't get me wrong there is a lot I need to work on, but I feel like I'm pretty good about the details. Taking everyday photography has really helped me to find gratitude in daily life and appreciate the little things I may not have noticed before, but 

There are too many days were busyness takes over and often a day will go by and i can't find the details. Because you mind is focused on whatever the end result instead if letting the end result move you through the day.

Taking photos helps with the details I think, but it's more than that. I'm talking about stuff you can't photography. The mood in your home in the morning before school particularly when it gets crazy, the goodbye you share or are am I took quick to shut the door looking for peace, the do I spend my day focused on me or reaching out to family and friends, am I taking time to nourish my body's and soul, am I taking moments to express gratitude, do I longer at night or am I too quick to jump in bed,  I help ease the tension of after school with positivity, do I smile, I I suppress a crazy thought, do I make sure to touch Adam,

I think when we become conscious of our days we life becomes more meaningful and we slow down and stop to smell the roses so to speak , or at least that is true for me. Indtead of walking up begrudging the day because piles of laundry are waiting or your going back to the same desk and the same faces as the day before and shift our thinking to this day being the best so far I believe it truely can be.

It reminds me of quote I heard once, could have been in a movie I can't now remember, "tomorrow is my best day"