I've realized from the beginning that my eldest child, Bella, is a bit different from most kids. To the extend that I thought perhaps something was wrong with her and actually did get her tested for autism. The test came out negative, thank goodness, but have still thought she was unique. This latest note on her door has just convinced me even more.
She is hyper aware of what's around her and what she is and is not comfortable with. I remember a few years ago we had friends over playing all day, day after day, and she came to me in tears saying, "I just need a break". She already knows she needs her alone time. I have always been impressed with how mature this observation was to a 5 year old. She has also found that writing notes is a productive way of being heard or getting what you want, opposed to interrupting or arguing with a parent who is inevitably going to win. I'm use to her writing little notes to tell me what she would like for dinner or that she needs to talk to me. So when I walked by her room last week it was no surprise to me to see a note hanging on her door that read, "1 minute please I need to be alone". It did, however, make me again keenly aware of how adult like she already is.
Now if only I could use this tactic on my door and have it actually work.
20 comments:
she sounds so much like my brynn. everyone tells me how mature she is and that I sometimes forget she is only 7 years old.
Bella is beautiful and I love that she is who she is, and not afraid to ask for it, something so many of us could still learn.
I wish my kids would use notes instead of yelling at me all day! So sweet that she already knows she needs alone time- she has the sympathy of many bloggers I know!!
By the way- SO jealous of your productive day. I never seem to get a job finished and always go to bed with a list of things that are almost done. Way to stick to your goals!!
Oh how I echo your "if only" at the end of the post.
I love that your little Bella knows what she needs and asks for it. Someone was telling me once that the kids who can happily observe on the fringe are the truly intelligent.
bella is such a sweet and perceptive girl. what a great thing to know what you need at such a young age.
kudos to your productivity even when not feeling well. i was quite productive for most of the week and have found myself on the couch all afternoon today...totally drained. i guess i've overdone it. so hard to pace myself when pregnant.
i need a note on my forehead that says "1 hour, i need a break." ( :
so funny and so bella. she is uniquely her and i just love her sweet sweet way.
you know chris has such a soft spot for bella, he just thinks she is way too precious!
I'm with Crystalyn, I usually need an hour! What a gift to have at such a young age though. I didn't learn that until much, much later in life.
I love the name Bella!What a great communication! My lil guy used to slip hand written notes under his big sister's bedroom door, asking her to play with him! How could she resist -too cute! -ciao
That is definitely unique. I love that she wrote you that note. My daughter is queen of notes. Instead of talking she writes everything down like that. How angry, sad, or any mood she is feeling. I think it is great she has started doing it at such a young age. It's a great way to vent your true feelings.
I'm with you on writing a note and leaving it on my door or even the bathroom for that matter!
What a cute note - and you're right...how mature! I found a little note in the pile left by the babysitters from our trip from Sadie saying how sorry she was for being mean to Miles. I don't know if they had her write it or if she did it on her own. I remember writing little notes (sometimes peace offerings) to my mom and slipping them under her pillow. If you come up with a door sign that us moms can use, let me know!
I did not realize that Bella and Sabine are the same age. This post was a pleasure to read - and a gorgeous photo of your girl!
Oh my, the ability to narrow down her needs so specifically - wow! She must have such supportive parents! I think that any "difference" handled with clear sophistication shows real insight into her outlook; she knows what she needs and where she fits in the world. And today it is alone in her room, darn it!
Bella is more self-aware than some adults that I know! Does it make you wonder what kind of things she will encounter later in life that her Heavenly Father blessed her with this gift at such a young age? I look at Carter and the maturity he already has (ok mature for a 2 year old) and wonder. The future for my kids scares me to death, but these little glimpes into the strength they already have gives me hope. Their Father in Heaven sent them with more "tools" than I could ever hope to develop over my lifetime.
ps I totally agree with you on the sense of accomplishment in cleaning out the fridge. Every time I open a newly cleaned-out fridge it makes me happy.
Wonderful. Max is much the same. It has been a real challenge to me to learn his ways and try to teach him how to express his needs in constructive ways. Bella is certainly very mature if she can already recognize her needs and knows how to communicate them! I love it. And, I need to be alone too. Why does my family not honor that?!
Hi Amy,
I have commented on your blog several times and realized I have yet to properly introduce myself. My name is Mandy and I found your blog from my sister-in-law, Kelly’s, blog. I just didn’t want to appear scary and stalkerish.
That is too funny! Yeah, it would be nice if that kind of note worked for a mom. Oh, we could all use a minute, couldn't we? I think it's adorable that she was able, at 5, to identify such a need. Kids don't do that! Even if they're miserable playing (which I think they are if there's too much friend time) they would never have the introspective capacity to identify what was troubling them. She must be a very thoughtful, smart kid--the very best kind to have around.
This note is adorable. I think it sounds so mature and healthy for a 7 year old to be able to verbalize or at least express her feelings in a note that way. I love your comment about wanting to use the same technique yourself. I think if that DID work for us moms we might never come out! I know I have those days...
What a gift to be so self-aware at the age of 5. My oldest daughter also needs alone time, but she is not the note-writer in the family. I love the combination of the two!
It's so cute that she wrote that note. She must have desperately needed that time away from everyone. She's a lucky girl if she has this figured out at the tender age of 6 and is able to express it so clearly.
I could take a lesson from her- I am not always the best at letting my family know exactly what I need when I need it. So cute that you documented it. I love the picture of her too- her eyes are so pretty.
That is great that she is so aware of her feelings and even better that she knows how to communicate them. Some people never learn how to express their feelings, so I hope she learns to appreciate how rare she is.
Wow, so mature and so cute. I wish we were able to have those skills when I was that age (or even now).
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