This is not a new concept for me. I think about this often as I struggle with it's meaning. After reading this to my girls while dinner was cooking tonight, "It didn't matter how mean her stepmother and stepsisters were to her, Cinderella was always happy", I was reminded once again of what it means to live the life I have been given to the fullest.
Japanese Gardens Portland, OR 2006I think for a while my life motto was "when" and "if" statements. I can recall so many instances in my life where I said, "I would be happy if....", and each time my statement would come to past, I would still be in the same place just adding a different thing to the end of that statement. I've often thought what my life would be like if I lived someone else's life. Would I be happier? After much thought and discussion I realize we all have our problems and struggles. If it's not A than it would be Z. We can't out run those things that haunt us. They come back continually throughout our life even if we try desperately to deny them (I'm so good at that).
I remember talking to Adam one night where I said, "Can you imagine if we got to the judgment bar and the Lord showed us a video of what our life could have been." He looked at me strangely and said, "What do you think Hell is?" Truly that would be my hell. Never ending regret and a clear knowledge of what my life could have been if I had only done XYZ. I know I have been blessed with so much. My life should be full of happiness and yet I find too often I'm down. I'm struggling. I know we all go through hard times, but when I go deep inside and really look at what's going on or why this would be, I realize I'm not living my life. I'm letting it pass me by instead of anxiously engaging in this precious gift.
I believe so strongly that we need to live our life now. We need to stop waiting for the perfect car, or the perfect house, or the better kids, or the more friends, or a vacation, or money, or whatever it might be that holds us back.
This is what this year has been about for me. Doing. Living. Embracing what I have been given and making the most of it. I'm tired of feeling like I need something to be happy. I'm tired of waiting for that one thing to make all my problems go away because deep down I know it's not coming. I'm tired of waiting as it says in the song by Colin Hay, "for my real life to begin". That's just it. This is my real life. I don't get another chance. Instead of wishing and hoping I need to take what I have and make something out of it. This is my life. The only one I'm going to get. It's up to me and the only person I have to blame for what I lack is me.
The fact that I have been given the opportunity of life should be all that I need. The problem lies in the "it doesn't come easily". I use to think that everyone was happy and then there were bad days. Now I'm so aware that happiness is something we work for each day. It is a choice. I wake up everyday, some days more noticeably than others, and decide if I'm going to run my life or stand idly by and wonder why I'm not happy with the way it's going. Taking charge and making our life exactly what we dream of, though hard a lot of the time, is so worth it. In the end we would never regret spending our life in the pursuit of happiness. We need to give to get.
I really hope this year I will be one step closer to letting go of my insecurities. Letting go of those apparent "needs" in my life that inevitably hold me back from living...from being truly happy. I want to live my life to the fullest. I want to be happy with what I have NOW, not what I might have or think I should have. As I've already found out...happiness is not given and most times hard, but I've tasted it's sweetness and never want to go back.
23 comments:
Great post! My friend Anna posted about this yesterday and I've been thinking about it since I read her thoughts on happiness.
I'm so guilty of wishing, wanting, & waiting for the happy things in life, forgetting my life thus far has been so blessed and should be labeled as a happy life.
Thanks for sharing and reminding me of the things I often overlook or forget.
Here's to a happier me!
Absolutely loved this post.
What profound thoughts and words. I was reminded of things in my own life that need to be put to the front, and especially that I just need to LIVE. Thank you! :)
Amy, several times, since I've started reading your words, I have felt like we were swinging synchronized. I could have typed this post verbatim today. I too often bury myself in the "ABC's" of my struggles and from beneath all the rubble I'm holding up a sign that reads "you make your own happiness"--a saying I preach and don't live--enough. I sometimes wish it were a one time decision, but I, like you said, have to choose each day to be the happiness that I want. It's nice to be on the same page with such apparently amazing woman. Thank you for these words.
Beautiful words I needed to hear today. Thank you.
Amy, I love this post. This has been on my mind all day, I needed to hear this too. Thank you, thank you!
How is it not even 7am and I already feel like I needed this post today? Brilliant Amy- this whole concept is something I need to put to practice now before I waste any more time.
So true. Happiness is for sure a choice. Great insights Amy.
Great thoughts! My sister Anna was feeling the same way this week and posted about it.
I often wonder if it is just women that feel this way? This is really a common thread in our existence. I have thought about this much lately. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this topic!
I've been thinking about this a lot lately too. Thanks for the post, it's just what I needed to hear/read.
Very nice post. It seems like all of us are going through this right now. I am thankful that we are able to reach out to each other. It's always less lonely knowing someone else is struggling with you.
Your thoughts are endearing and inspiring. I hope you have a good day!
This was a great reminder for me today. What you wrote about is one of the main reasons my word for this year is "choose." Thanks for sharing your thoughts. It especially hit me about how it would be if we were shown a video of what our life could have been. I agree with you in that it would truly be my hell as well. We really do have to live life the best that we can and to the fullest every day. Thanks for the inspiration!
I too have fallen victim to the "if" and "when" statements at times. I have spent an incredible amount of time in the past few years "fixing" things in my life. I am also on the quest of making my own happiness and taking ownership of who I am and who I am becoming! It's a lifelong pursuit. I always try to keep in mind that the things worth doing aren't always easy, just worth it! I'm inspired by your word of choice for the year. "DO". It calls for action and attention. Thanks for sharing this beautiful post. No doubt you will find that happiness you are seeking!
Amy, like Jordan, I feel I could have written this post. It's a constant struggle for me and sometimes I have to stop and ask myself, "Why aren't you happy? What is making you feel like this?" I can't even put a finger on it sometimes. I just feel this need or this want, but don't even know what it is. My word this year is "Choice", due to this very reason. It's funny that you posted about it. I know that we have to choose to look past the negative things, choose to focus on the blessings in our lives, choose to make each day great, choose to smile, choose to be happy. One of the biggest reasons I want to work on this is b/c I know that my attitude will affect my family and my children. I don't want them growing up with a mother like this. Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts.
amy brilliant! i often think that all of us go through some sort of cycle...and it is good to be reminded of...but sometimes we fall into our same old self...i hear rush on the radio sometimes ( i know a lot of people do not like him, but I just LOVE HIS OPTIMISM and his positiviness...it is contagious...) sometimes I tune him on just to smile (of course I love politics tooo, so it is a double treat) but it is a verb for sure and one that needs ACTION! so hooray on your every day choice and doing...what a great word for robyn...I think I finally found mine! still between 3 ....so soon! ps. thank you for the lovely card...as michelle put it simple and deliciously stated!
OH, how I love this post Amy! This is something that is on my mind CONSTANTLY! It is part of why I picked the word "choose" because I need to choose to be happy and to appreciate what I have instead of always waiting for not just bigger or better but something different than what I have. Thanks for taking the time to write my thoughts :)
I love your thoughts on this Amy. You always have a great way of putting your thoughts into words so well. I almost chose "NOW" as my word for this year, for this very reason. Thanks for inspiring me with this today.
I like where you mentioned not living our lives, letting it pass us by instead of being anxiously engaged, which does indeed bring happiness. I think there are people that are just naturally happy and optimistic, but most people need to make the conscious decision to be happy, especially when life is a struggle.
Great thoughts. You echoed a lot of things on my mind as well, which is why I love my darling mouse pad so much! I want to design the life I can LOVE, and that means finding ways to choose happiness every day. We can do it!
i often feel the same way as you, so this was a great post for me to read. you have an amazing way of writing your feelings!
What specifically do you intend to "do"? It is universally understood that we don't all do all that we can. That we would have 'more' if we did more, but what will you DO that moves you out of your natural state, your comfy place of idleness?
amy, how did we not talk about this on thursday? you have such a way of putting things into words and i love your thoughts. i just love everything about it.
Choosing to be happy. It's such a startlingly simple idea, but so surprisingly difficult. I wonder how I can make the idea stick. It's something that I think about often but have trouble implementing.
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