I have been thinking a lot about my husband today. Thinking about what a great man I have supporting me, loving me, pushing me to be the best I can.
Last night we sat on our porch and talked for about three hours or so. When I say "talk" I don't mean chit chat, I mean we had a conversation about us, how we're doing, and what we could do better. In fact this is a regular occurrence for us. We have this beautiful open relationship where we can speak freely (in a constructive manner) about our thoughts and concerns.
I haven't always been the best communicator. Actually I stunk. Partly because it's hard. Opening up a problem just means you have to face it and I was so good at hiding and pretending. Hoping that the issue would resolve itself and go away. Of course it never does and it inevitably gets worse. Sometimes he exhausts me and I fight it, but I have always been so grateful for his patience and willingness to teach me this invaluable tool. I have come to see through our (almost 10 year) marriage just how powerful communicating can be.
Of course sometimes too much communication about any subject can be damaging. I mean I feel all too often that I'm facing the problem just because I talked about. This is the part I need major work on...the follow through. Just doing it. Taking all that I now know and putting it into play. I struggle with this, not because I don't want to, but because I am lazy or its hard or.....I suppose I could go on and on. Really there is no good excuse. He deserves a good wife. I deserve a good husband. We both deserve to be loved and that should be enough reason to work hard on us.
He makes me want to be a good person. He makes me want to be the best person. He pushes me to make decisions, which I am so bad at, which I need. He pushes me to feel. He pushes me to think. He gives me love. He gives me hope. He respects who I am. The best part...he loves who I am. And I love him for it.
