on my mind

The rain is beating against my window now, but it has been lovely spring weather this week, despite the fact that it hasn't really looked lovely. The trees are still bare, the ground brown, no life to be seen, but I'm hoping a few weeks more will help solve that.



Perhaps the girls knew the weather was short lived because they've been out in it as much as possible. With day-light savings giving them a bit more light in the evenings they've spent their time outdoors playing house, restaurant, and fishing. (I quite enjoyed listening to them play through the window as I cleaned up the dinner dishes.) They even played for a few minutes this morning before they left for school.

My girls are in bed now and I'm posting to take my mind off or rather occupy my mind as I sit and wait for Adam to finally come home. Sadly, my week has been sort of a lonely one. I almost hate to admit it because Adam hasn't been gone that long, but with two trips back to back and both not something I had planned on, his being away has weighed on me. I went to Barnes and Noble yesterday to read, thinking that being around people would do the trick, but it almost made it worse--strangers just made me feel more secluded. Thank goodness for friends and a little bit of a mind game (positive thinking) I was able to end the day feeling myself again.

I've spent a lot of my time this week working on a gift for two friends who are 39+ weeks pregnant. I can't say what it is right at the moment, but I will share when I'm done and have given it to them. They are beautifully ready for #2 and I admit to be a wee bit jealous of their up and coming labor & delivery. Don't get me wrong, it's not that I long to have another baby of my own, rather I loved the experience of bringing a child into the world. There's something so beautiful about seeing your child you've carried for 9 months for the first time--there's just nothing like it. One of them has invited me to be there, to document this moment in her life, and I can't tell you what an honor it is to get to witness such a miraculous event. I pray I can give her something beautiful.

I've been getting bad headaches lately and I can't quite figure out where it's coming from. I'd like to think it's because I'm weaning myself off sugar, but I'm not entirely sure, I mean shouldn't that make my body happy? While I don't think it's anything serious or to be concerned with, I am wondering if there's a catalyst, and if so, what? I remember as a child my mom getting migraines. She would hide herself in her room, door closed, lights off and I never really understood it--unfortunately I do now. I hope it's not an age thing, though I don't recall her getting headaches now.

I hope you never mind my randomly random posts, after all, it's probably the best way to get to know me anyway. Just ask my friends, I am constantly hopping around from topic to topic--not something I'm fond of and would love to change, but for now it's me. I always do find it interesting to see where my mind will go when I sit down to post without something specific in mind. Who am I kidding, even when I've thought something through to post it always comes out different when I start to write it down. I think that's the beautiful thing about writing, often things become clear, answers come, once I work it all out on paper/screen. Do you find that to be true?

I think I shall leave it at that and say good night.
xo

Knowledge is power.

Knowledge is power.
Knowledge is power.
I have to keep reminding myself of that when all I want to do is close my eyes, plug my ears, and hum through all the words being spoken. Sometimes it hurts to know. You expect life to go one way and when you're hit by a curve ball you want to stand up, shake it off and yell I'm ok. Everything is ok. When it's not though, knowledge is the first step. Actually I'm thinking maybe admitting is the first step. So I guess we're at the second step and now that we know we have the power to do something about it.

The thing is one of my girls is really struggling in school. It came to me as a complete shock one day when I was volunteering at the school. The teacher just kind of vomited all this information on me and took me completely off guard. I mean, I knew she struggled with reading, but didn't know it was bad enough where the student teacher would be saying something like, "what do we do with her?" So we set up a daily schedule and we worked to help her improve and she did. What we were doing at home was making a difference at school, however, the improvement seemed to be short lived. A few months later another stream of information came at me again about how she's struggling and not making it. Again frustrated, begging for ideas of how I can help, what I can do, and with each time seeing some improvement--but apparently not enough.

Then yesterday it all sort of came to a head. I think they (teacher & student teacher) were hoping all this time, as the year progressed, that it would begin to click for her--it's not clicking and she's pulling further away from the class, but that's not the hardest part. My daughter is a pleaser and wants to do well so the most frustrating piece to this whole situation is that she is trying her best, but just not making it. Can I tell you how much this hurts my heart to hear/see? She has been working so hard all year, but she's just not getting where she needs to be. Yes I am intentionally being vague about all the details, but what I'm hearing doesn't sound like something more hours with a tutor can fix.

So I've been doing some research, trying to figure out what the next step should be. I've been wondering if maybe she has some kind of learning disability. I don't want to label her in anyway, but knowledge is power, remember, and if I can do something more to help her I will. When I brought this up to the teacher during our conversation she said, by law, that wasn't something she could discuss. Seriously? All this politicking has to stop. We are talking about a little girl who needs help.

Now I must stop here and say, her teacher is a dream. A dream. I could not have hand picked a better person to be with my child this year if I tried. She has been a gift and blessing to us. I believe she loves my daughter and is willing to do whatever she can to help. I have been forever grateful for her patience, for the extra attention she has given my child, and for caring enough to not let my daughter slide by unnoticed. So my little girl is lucky. She has a lot of people looking out for her and a lot of people in her corner wanting to see her succeed and ready and willing to do whatever it takes to help her get there.

Her teacher did end up giving me some suggestions and a few places to start. She keeps telling me what a visual learning she is and how a lot of these tests are not tailored to visual learners so maybe that's all it will be, but regardless of what it is or isn't we're taking the next step.

Needless to say this subject has been nonstop on my mind since yesterday. I've debated back and forth whether or not to share it--I don't want to harm or embarrass my child in anyway. However, I believe in the power of sharing with each other. I'm hoping by putting this out there that some of you may be going through or have gone through a similar experience and can help point me in the right direction. Help me know what to do to keep it a positive experience, after all, all I want is for her to be happy. I want her to feel successful and to have confidence in what she's doing. Although education is a huge part of childhood it is not the only part and she excels at so many other things. I just want to empower her and help give her what she needs so she can succeed.

thanks for listening.
have a great weekend.

xo g

I shouldn't be spending time blogging,

but I am. I have lots to work on/do before Tuesday comes. The holiday has really messed up my week. Don't get me wrong I love holidays, but for some reason I feel I've had 2 weekends in a row and today should be Wednesday.

On my mind.

01. I need to finish up my skirt for trek. It just needs a hem. It is on my to do list everyday, but for some reason i am not finding time to do it....I wonder why?

02. I am trying to decide how many batteries I am going to need with me for my camera. I have this fear i will run out. Too bad the batteries aren't easy to come by. As far as I know the only electricity we'll come in contact with is in the service vehicles so I won't be able to charge them. Yikes! I will probably need to buy a couple extra. Hope they're not expensive.

03. I am really starting to panic about my 14 mile day walk. I thought of course, I can do it, it just won't be pleasant. Now I am fearing I may not be able to. Pray that we will have overcast days/no rain. Sadly it's not looking like it will be. At least it won't be raining though.

04. I don't even want to think about packing. I need to look at the list of what we need to bring. I am sure I have everything, but it sure takes time rounding it all up. Plus I need to pack the kids and I am unsure of where they will be...here or there.

05. So glad swimming lessons are over for now. I am going to do another session with some ladies in my ward, but we won't be starting for 2 weeks.

06. Adam and I are going out tonight. So grateful to be getting a break. I think we're going out with two other couples from our ward, but that isn't confirmed yet. Interesting note, the woman are both in their forties and I get along so well with them. Maybe I'm an old soul?

07. I have been trying to organize my photos. My computer is starting to slow down due to all the large files I put on it daily. I'm making sure they are on discs, printed, and then deleting them. I hate to delete them, but I have no choice. How do you orgainize your digital photos?

Ok, that is enough randomness (is that a word?) from me.

on my mind

1. recovering from a late night last night. I had scheduled a night scrapbooking with my friends, which I had to put off due to a dinner with Adam's banker. I seriously thought this would not be fun at all and I would just sit there listening to their converstions for 2 hours. Boy was I wrong. I had a really great time. The conversation was excellent and the food fantastic. We went to Harvest at Thanksgiving point. Delicious. So why am I recovering...I ended meeting up with my friends at 10pm for a couple of hours. I didn't take any of my stuff since 2 hours is not enough for me to do anything, but i did enjoy their company.

2. looking forward to conference this weekend. I feel I really need it right now. I suppose I always feel like that. I usually work on a project during the Saturday session, but today I am going to be folding laundry (my favorite pass time while watching tv) and maybe organizing a bit. I am hoping the kids will cooperate and either use their packets we made in primary or play well. What do your you or kids do during conference?

3. Thinking about making my grocery list and what to eat for the next week. I always hate doing this. I never know what to eat. I am bored with our food choices. Any suggestions?

4. Hoping to work on my art journal this evening while adam is gone (6-8) and the kids are in bed. I have had a lot of ideas running through my head. Problem is for me it's so easy to think about, but once i have paper in front of me I freeze. I don't know how to get my ideas, or thoughts for that matter, out on paper the way I like. The way I am really feeling.

5. Enjoying the art journals for those of you who have started. Really enjoying. So glad you have decided to take the challenge. I am having fun with it...playing around with stuff I never do.

'til next time.

on my mind

So I guess I didn't realize it had been so long since I updated. It has been a crazy week. Actually I started this post yesterday (wrote #1), but it sat on my computer til now. Which is why it will post as Thursday.

1. Working on invitations to bella's 6th bday party. I can't believe its already a week away. I've got two loads of laundry on deck. Hate to do it, but love fresh clean cloths. Also want to try to clean off my desk which has found of way of getting cluttered once again. (it doesn't take long)

2. listening to heartbeats byJose Gonzales. Love this song and cannot get enough. Also Over My Head by the Fray, and You're Beautiful by James Blunt

3. Feeling really grateful I was able to go to the temple last night with Adam. It seems I don't get there as often as I would like. Its so nice to take a break from the real world, do something for someone else, put things into perspective, and spend time with Adam.

4. Waiting to hear back from the doctors to whether or not Megan has a bladder infection so I can give her medication for her ear infection. Poor girl.

5. Thinking about this weekend and all that I want to accomplished or that needs to be done. Also thinking about some of the goals I've made, where I'm at, and not loosing focus. So serious about changing my life. Want to live for more. Feel more.

Have a great weekend.