choices

I have felt sort of in a funk today. Not really bad enough to throw me for a loop, but just enough that my mind is constantly aware. It all started with a dream(this is not about death), and here I am still thinking and still trying to bring myself back to reality. I was really grateful I had some time today to myself even if it was more packing. I had music playing very loudly and at random times I would write things on the wall. Things that came to mind. Things that spoke to me. I really enjoyed being able to do that. It felt like my canvas and I was really in a mood to create. (I hope to post some photo when I am able to upload from my camera.)

My lesson on sunday to the 4 yr olds what about choices. We all have the right to decide which direction to go and what to do and how to dream. I have been thinking about my choices and how it has brought me to this place. This very great place I still find I am trying to wrap myself around....understand. I ended up in a place I never thought I would be. Not a bad place, just different than what I always intended. Envisioned. What to do with the choices I have made and how to let go of the ones I didn't? I have many questions of whys and what ifs but I know they don't mean anything and it is hurting me from developing the here and now. Here I am letting it go and giving myself to what I know and what I need and what I want. Life. Happiness. Excitement. Romance. Joy. Love. It's all possible to find no matter which choices you make. I have no doubt of that. I am no longer going to wait around believing I am entitiled to these things. Or waiting for someone else to make it happen. Its my life. My choices brought me to this point and I intend to make it everything I always dreamed.