listen to my hands

Months ago I heard the album, Time without Consequence by Alexi Murdock. It was Adam's find, or Lori's, whatever the case Adam was in love with it so it played consistently throughout the house day after day. It's weird with his music it takes me several times to get into it. Not that I don't like it at first listen, but I have to hear it constantly before I take the time to find out what the songs are all about. With this album I had decided there was something about the song, Song For You so I really listened to it, which means I took in the lyrics. It was more beautiful than I had previously thought, it reminded me so much of the time in my life I had been sad, really really sad, but always had a constant, Adam, always there, not giving up.

So today I wrote a song for you
Cause a day can get so long
And I know its hard to make it through
When you say theres something wrong

So I'm trying to put it right
Cause I want to love you with my heart
All this trying has made me tight
And I don't know even where to start

Maybe thats a start

Cause you know its a simple game
That you play filling up your head with rain
And you know you are hiding from your pain
In the way, in the way you say your name

And I see you
Hiding your face in your hands
Flying so you wont land
You think no one understands
No one understands

So you hunch your shoulders and you shake your head
And your throat is aching but you swear
No one hurts you, nothing could be sad
Anyway you're not here enough to care

And you're so tired you don't sleep at night
As your heart is trying to mend
You keep it quiet but you think you might
Disappear before the end

And its strange that you cannot find
Any strength to even try
To find a voice to speak your mind
When you do, all you wanna do is cry

Well maybe you should cry

And I see you hiding your face in your hands
Talking bout far-away lands
You think no one understands
Listen to my hands

And all of this life
Moves around you
For all that you claim
You're standing still
You are moving too
You are moving too
You are moving too
I will move you

"Listen to my hands" were the words that stopped me dead in my tracks. It's four very simple words and with it packs an unbelievable punch. I love Alexis' use of the word "listen". Instead of listen to my words, it's listen to my hands...look, I'm showing you I love you. It's so easy to tell someone you love them, it's so easy to speak the words and have the conversations, but it's the doing that somehow becomes more complicated. I'm not sure why that is, perhaps we are lazy by nature, perhaps we think that unconditional love is going to kick in without any effort on our part, but whatever the case when our significant other finally has the courage to say,"this is what I need from you", how willing are you to get up and do it for them?

Through the last 12 months I've realized it's the doing that counts, precisely the reason why I chose that word this year. Who cares what I say or what my intentions are, what am I doing to show him I love. This simple knowledge has made all the difference in the world. It's changed my marriage, the direction my life...it's changed me.