Halloween night while walking around with the kids trick-or-treating I ran into one of my yw walking alone in tears. I stopped to chat with her to make sure she was alright.
As her story started to unravel it was almost what I had expected...she had had a fight with her parents. She was not happy with them. It seemed more of a misunderstanding to me, but it caused her to walk out the door upset headed to her friends house. In that moment as I tried to make her feel better, I could see both sides of the story, but it terrified me more than I thought it should. As I listened to her try to explain what had just happened, I had this sickening feeling come over me that this was my future.
When we parted ways, she seemed a bit calmer, I ran to catch up with Adam. What had we gotten ourselves into? As I related the story to him all I could think, "is this our future?" Yes, I have really good kids, but you put hormones in a young girl and I think you're ripe for a situation like what I ran into...an irrational teen that was blaming her parents for something that was outside their control.
I'm not sure there is an answer for this so all I can hope to have is patience, love, and of course, a little bit of humor...I think we're in big trouble.
7 comments:
i think of this very often as I look at my 5 year and she flashes me glimpses of what she will be like at 15...yikes!
yikes, is right. having lived with an unhappy teenage girl last year, i know first hand how challenging it can be. it IS easy to see both sides... for us. but at 15, 16, they simply do not have the means to see things from anothers' (parents') perspective.
i don't know how we all survived as teenagers ourselves!
I fear for that future as well! We've gotten ourselves into something that we can never get out of...
You know, I was a moody, moody teen (I know...shocker). But, I survived and my sisters survived and most importantly, my mother survived. We have great relationships today. I love my boys, but admit when I see all your girls, I envy their future life - with you and with each other.
I'm glad you took the time to visit with the struggling girl.
You are so good with those girls, you have such a connection. I hope you're taking notes b/c I am going to be calling you in about 7-10 years for lots of advice!!!
I just read Lucy's comment... I don't know how my mother survived me, I was not easy. But I know the one thing she did was love me unconditionally and that's exactly what I needed.
But the thing is, her parents were probably equally upset with her. The situations are unavoidable so there's no point in fearing them.
Oh I think of this on a weekly basis. You are awesome to talk with her and I am sure it made a difference to her. I remember going to my aunts when I was mad at my mom about something- it is one of the reasons I want my girls to know their aunts!
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