my future

I think it hits you in the moment, when you're doing it, and you think, this is it...this is my future.



At least that's what if felt like to me this morning, early, as I sat in a meeting discussing layouts, typography, and photos for the new LDS Strength of Youth pamphlet.

When my friend called to ask if I would come and give my "artist" opinion on the this new project, I laughed. At some point in our friendship I gave her the impression that I'm the artistic type, and for whatever reason she asked me when there's a plethora of trained artist/designers out there. I won't deny that I'm flattered, but it's a very intimating situation to be in when you feel completely unqualified to be there. This is not the first time I've been asked on a similar assignment, but it never does get any easier, especially when you feel like you're a poser.

When the meeting got underway the first thing I did was look at the work that had already been completed and the ideas they were working on. Then all eyes were on us (there was an interior designer there as well), a pause, and then I went for it. The words started flowing out of me like I knew what I was doing. I surprised myself, I really do know something about design, my friend wasn't crazy to ask me. I'm not schooled or trained (I have taken a couple online class though), but I know the satisfying feeling you get, deep down, when something looks right.

And it was then, in that moment, when I knew, without a doubt, design is what I want to do.

I love it, I love it, I love it. I cannot begin to describe how energizing it was to talk about design and bounce around options. I surprised myself with my ideas, with what I saw, with the changes I would make and to hear that they liked them too.

I don't know why this was such a revelation to me. I've always loved design and mentioned years ago, on my blog even, that I wanted to go back to school and get a BA in Graphic Design, but today was the first time I realized this isn't something I love as a hobby...it's something I love as part of who I am. I feel like I need it and for the first time in a while I no longer feel like I'm standing at the fork in the road. I'm moving.

My mind is swirling today at the possibilities for my time this fall. I know what to do and man does it feel good...it feels right.

what have we got ourselves into

Halloween night while walking around with the kids trick-or-treating I ran into one of my yw walking alone in tears. I stopped to chat with her to make sure she was alright.

As her story started to unravel it was almost what I had expected...she had had a fight with her parents. She was not happy with them. It seemed more of a misunderstanding to me, but it caused her to walk out the door upset headed to her friends house. In that moment as I tried to make her feel better, I could see both sides of the story, but it terrified me more than I thought it should. As I listened to her try to explain what had just happened, I had this sickening feeling come over me that this was my future.

When we parted ways, she seemed a bit calmer, I ran to catch up with Adam. What had we gotten ourselves into? As I related the story to him all I could think, "is this our future?" Yes, I have really good kids, but you put hormones in a young girl and I think you're ripe for a situation like what I ran into...an irrational teen that was blaming her parents for something that was outside their control.

I'm not sure there is an answer for this so all I can hope to have is patience, love, and of course, a little bit of humor...I think we're in big trouble.