thoughts from a late night movie

I cried myself to sleep last night after staying up far too late watching Meet Joe Black -- I love that movie. I'd like to blame it on the music, the soundtrack is so full of emotion it gets me every time, but the truth is, there are many moments in the film that touch on the frailty of this life that hit me deep down.

Like this one ---

"I thought I was going to sneak away tonight. What a glorious night. Every face I see is a memory. It may not be a perfectly perfect memory. Sometimes we had our ups and downs. But we're all together, and you're mine for a night. And I'm going to break precedent and tell you my one candle wish: that you would have a life as lucky as mine, where you can wake up one morning and say, 'I don't want anything more.' Sixty-five years. Don't they go by in a blink" -William Parrish | Meet Joe Black 1998

Tell me it's not just me. That's good stuff, no?

But in particular, it was one of the last scenes where William Parrish (Anthony Hopkins) and Joe Black (Brad Pitt) are getting ready to leave this life for the last time that had me teary. Both of them looking out at the world longingly, realizing more than ever that life, with all it's heartache and misunderstanding, is beautiful. The most beautiful of them, and the thing we long for the most, the thing that will be hardest to walk away from, are the relationships we've created -- simply put, love. While I believe wholeheartedly that the next life is better than even what we have here, and we will continue on with those relationships, it is still bittersweet, I imagine, to leave behind the place where your experiences began, where your most important lessons were learned, and you were given the agency to make your life into whatever it is you wanted.

Even writing that makes me antsy. I so long to live with no regrets, enjoying all the pieces, the ups and down, or maybe I should more accurately say, appreciating the uncomfortable moments for what they have taught me and helped me to become.

And while my life is living proof that teaching moments never cease, I know I couldn't possibly get through this life without my friends, family, and loved ones. After all, we were never meant to walk our path alone. How grateful I am for those of you who have crossed my path and joined me along the way. What you have given me is truly a gift. It is a blessing to know what we create here, will carry with us to the next. 

xoxxo

family dinner

There hasn't been a time in our life when one of us wasn't busy for some reason or another, but once we threw kids into the mix and their schedules, we knew making sure we had family time was crucial. So we have always made dinner time an important part of our day. Of course there are bound to be times when something comes up and we are unable to make it happen, but for the most part we have done our very best to plan everyone's schedules so we can all sit down at the dinner table and have that time together.



My favorite part of dinner time is you never really know where you'll end up once you get started. The conversations twist and turn and before you know it you're talking about the Pledge of Allegiance or what phenomenon means. Case in point: after Tess finished telling us all about the mountain men she's learning about in school Megan chimed in and completely changed the subject, "Dad tell us what your favorite thing is about us, each of us." He happily took on her challenge and then like magic, everyone took their turn -- not a grumble in the bunch.

It was quite interesting for me to hear everyone's responses, each description just as true as the next. Me, being the last, had tougher shoes to fill because I wasn't allowed to say what anyone else had said. I loved it and loved the collection of favorites we ended up with, but mostly I loved getting a better understanding of my girls and how they saw each other.

here's the list.

Dad
M- Smart and intelligent
T- let's you do things mom doesn't
B- spends time with me
G- listens and wants to understand

Mom
M- soft skin and sweet
T- helps me when i need it
B- teaches me how to be a mom
A- all we've shared in our 16+ years

Bella
M- smart
T- helpful
G- thoughtful
A- mature

Tess
M- adventurous
B- encouraging
G- tries hard and won't give up
A- compassionate

Megan
T- crazy
B- always willing to try new foods
G- love for life
A- original


I know this is precious time not all families are able to have whether one parent works or kids are involved in activities, so I am extremely grateful we have been able to pull it off thus far. It has been an invaluable part of our family life and I look forever to it each and every night.

Now if I could just incorporate some new recipes. I feel like I've been in the "recycling recipe mode" since Christmas.

a lovely list

i love that even though Adam had to get up early to be at his new office building, he took the girls with him.

i love that he came back just to leave me a cream cheese bagel and then left again to take the girls to the gym with him.

i love that although i woke up earlier than i would have liked, i got to lay in bed and read.



i love that red & pink get so much attention this month and I get to proudly wear my striped socks.

i love watching the big snowflakes fall softly to the earth.

i love that i get to go take photos this afternoon of a darling 8 year old who's getting baptized in a few weeks.

i love and so appreicate all the lovely comments i got from thursdays post.

i love that my girls share their valentine candy with me.



i love that conversation hearts include phrases like "do good".

i love that this story people quote,"your job is to focus on my personal happiness, she said, & I've got big plans, so break time is over," made adam and i laugh out loud together.

i love that we're all feeling better.

i love that adam and i can spend the evening together, even though we don't have big plans.

i love that our dinner will most likely include a cheeseburger and fries (I'm so in the mood).

Happy Valentine's Day!