"To live a creative life, we must lose our fear of being wrong."
-Joseph Clinton Pearce
-Joseph Clinton Pearce
I saw this quote hanging from the ceiling of Bella's elementary last night as I walked into parent teacher conference. I said it to myself over and over as I walked down the long hall so I wouldn't forget it before I had a chance to write it down. It was the icing on the cake to a day that had already brought with it a few stresses and many thoughts about what I want to achieve and where I'm headed. As I took out my note book to write down the quote these words poured out of me.
I would have never called myself creative years ago. I remember loving art projects and drawing as a kid, but also remember that feeling of uncertainty that I had no clue what I'm was doing. I remember always trying to look to others for inspiration instead of looking inside myself. Perhaps even then I was uncomfortable with what I saw.
As I think back I can remember searching through old boxes to find any and all the photos of me I could to create a scrapbook. I had a strong desire to tell my story even then and wished I had known more about my childhood. I still feel that way today, which is one of the reasons why I still scrapbook and document what I can about life, my life and those around me. However, I only mention it to remind myself it was at that time, while I made those books, that I didn't worry about what it might look like, if it was good enough, or what someone else my think. I did it for me, for my heritage, and I was very proud of it.
Fast forward 9 years later when I got my first sewing machine, then I started scrapbooking, I had kids, then many other things fell into place for me creatively. I started knitting, made quilts, cards, other paper crafts, and got heavy into photography. It has been an evolution for me one thing building on the another, however, one thing seemed to have remain constant though it all...the uncertainty I felt of not measuring up. I use to feel bombarded and even discouraged by all the scrapbooking magazines full of inspiration and knew I didn't even come close to touching what those talented woman created. Of all the photographers I've studied I knew my abilities just didn't even come close to there's. These thoughts definitely held me back from creating in a meaningful and comfortable place.
"Never compare your journey with someone else's. It's a marathon with no finish line. Someone else may start out faster than you, may seem to progress more quickly than you, but every runner has his own pace. Your journey is your journey, not a competition. You will never 'arrive'. No one ever does."
-Cheryl Jacobs
I came upon that quote months ago when I was making a very important should I/shouldn't I decision in my life and it helped me to see how I was mistakenly measuring success by other peoples standards...with dollar signs, with being published, with being well known. Yesterday I came across it and was once again reminded of how much making that decision changed my life. I know for me being creative isn't just something I do for fun, it's something I love. Not only something I love, but it's something I need and want in my life. It wasn't until recently when I let go of the measuring stick, the fear of being wrong that has continue to hold me back for years, that I felt this rush of comfort and confidence in my creative self. I no longer worry or fear that it might not be good enough. I do it because I love doing it. Don't get me wrong, there are times when I'm not as confident as others, I still need to work on so many areas of self-confidence in my life, but I'm beginning to see just how much changing my attitude changes my creativity. Changes my life.
If I could tell myself 11 year old self something today it would be to LIVE YOUR LIFE and never apologize for it. Not to say not to take others feeling into consideration, but be you and express yourself how you choose. We are all creative in our own ways so stop wasting time worrying about it being perfect or whether or not it measures up to others standards. Remember who you are and embrace what you love. You have the power to make your life whatever you choose. Just DO!
If I could tell myself 11 year old self something today it would be to LIVE YOUR LIFE and never apologize for it. Not to say not to take others feeling into consideration, but be you and express yourself how you choose. We are all creative in our own ways so stop wasting time worrying about it being perfect or whether or not it measures up to others standards. Remember who you are and embrace what you love. You have the power to make your life whatever you choose. Just DO!
28 comments:
I just wanted to thank you for your words. You are a truly an inspiration to me, and I'm sure to so many others as well, probably much more than you could ever realize! Just being a woman I think means that you will struggle with self-confidence...I don't think I've ever met another woman who didn't in some way, and that's why we all need eachother, to lean on and to support. You are so gifted in so many areas and even though I don't know you and have never met you, I would love to pick your brain and learn from your knowledge and wisdom. Thanks for having the courage to share yourself with all of us!
Wow Amy. This really spoke to me today. I am always measuring myself up to people. I often do things and say things because it's what someone else would and not because it's what I'm thinking or feeling. I've tried to "life my live" more the last few years but I have a long way in putting blinders on to others perceived judgments of me.
Speaking of running, I was talking to this girl in my ward who thinks I am the fastest runner. Her mom runs 8-minute miles long distance. I can't get under 9. But all she sees is the times I just run one mile as fast as I can. That is always what she is measuring herself up to, and I can't even keep up with that image. Usually what we see in others is magnified, if not only part of the picture.
what a great realization to come to. i agree that when you let go of the comparisons you have so much more freedom creativly because really thats what creativity is right? being original, being you. thanks for sharing these great thoughts.
W-O-W! Amy, THANK YOU for sharing this today. I just got off the phone with a dear friend about this same thing, I too was going to post about a very similar thing. It is something called, "The Ugly Cake Syndrome" it may not look pretty to us, but it always tastes the same to everyone else. That is a weird way of putting it into just a few sentences, but basically, I think we are always too hard on ourselves...we may create something that to us just isn't tops--but when someone else sees it, it can make them weep, it can create something for them that they will cherish always. This is what someone told me today about my photography, and you know what? I shrug it off because I am not good enough as so and so, or I can do better...it is never enough for me to just say something I have made is good or worthy. Your words really touched me in that aspect...and the two quotes you shared. Thank you, THANK YOU, for reaffirming what I already need to do. It was like an answer to a prayer. You are amazing!
So, Amy, did you make the bag? It's darling. I LOVE your creativity...so glad you realized how much you had to share, because the rest of us are certainly benefitting.
Amy, these are wise words. I think most experience this inner creative battle. It takes courage to look inside instead of out for your creative inspiration. I believe it is part of our divine construction to create...isn't that what celestial glory is? I feel blessed to have been taught this growing up. My parents are both artists and I think made a deliberate effort to "allow" this sort of creativity to thrive in their children. I'm so glad these words poured out of you today.
I love this post, Amy! I think we all try to measure up and feel we fail to do so. At least I do. I'm glad you are able to accept your creativity. I think you are amazing and have since the beginning of my blogging world.
I really appreciated your insight today. We waste way too much of our lives comparing or wondering rather than simply living and loving. THank you for the reminder!
That is a great realization to come to. I have also realized the importance of not measuring ourselves against one another. No good can come of that.
This should be required reading for every young woman. Okay, make that every woman. Great thoughts! You inspire me in many ways. I think if we can make ourselves let go of the comparing and measuring, there is so much inspiration to be had.
Amy, this is beautiful. Simply beautiful.
I wish we could all stop comparing ourselves. I am good about not comparing with some things, but I find I do it a lot with creative things. Quite often when I click over to your blog and see one of your great creations (like today) I feel a pang of something. I'm not sure if it's jealously, irritation, sadness, frustration or what, it's just an icky feeling that comes from wishing I had made that or I even knew how to make that. Of course, I always get over it and am so happy to see what you've done, but it would really be something if I could avoid the pang.
These are great thoughts. I have often felt that I can be creative but it is hard to have confidence and just do. Thanks for your inspiration today. I'm definitely glad that you are willing to share your creativity. You certainly are talented!
I am reading this right before I am about to make a few things and boy am I glad I did. It is way hard not to compare my efforts to so many others, but I love when I am in that place and can just go with it and take a few risks. So glad this all came out of your head today :) The quote at the beginning from the school is excellent!
I think as humans we all have that competitive streak - I know I do. It's that little voice that tells me I can do it better. I don't really look at as me wanting to out-do someone else, as it is me wanting to challenge myself... make myself stretch and grow.
I am always impressed with your creative endeavors. Your photography is always amazing.
So so true. I find I am terrible at comparing myself with others in creative endeavors. Like Jill said, I often get that pang of envy when I see something wonderful that someone else has made or done. I am truly happy for them, yet I still feel like I wish I could do that too.
My grandma tells me that there is always someone prettier than you, thinner than you, a better cook than you, a better photographer than you, etc. etc. She also tells me that whatever we do in life is ok as long as it's ok with us and with the Savior. Good advice.
Thanks you all for your comments. It is nice to know we are all here helping, supporting, and inspiring one another.
Jane I didn't make the bag, wish I had, but I bought it from American Eagle.
Thanks for sharing. I love that quote by Cheryl Jacobs. It's always amazing to me when someone can say so much in so little space.
I too love to be creative and I realized just a little while ago that really that is the main reason I scrapbook. It is important to me to preserve my family history but the main reason is that I simply love it. Realizing that has helped so much because now I never feel bad about being "behind", because it's not about that, it's just about doing what I love.
I LOVE THIS...every word, every emotion. It obviously rings so true with many of us...just imagine what we can become?!
as always, your words don't disappoint. i often find myself wishing i could bring something out of myself when i read or see others' creativity. i think i could find more of what's really in me if i spent more time just letting myself "be."
whenever i read things cheryl jacobs writes i am amazed...and she's a "photographer."
i am always amazed at your creative endeavors and am so glad you share them.
Truly amazing- I hope I will make it to that point- someday...
Amen! What a great place to get too. I can totally relate and still struggle lots.
What a great post Amy! Thanks for writing here, I could understand every word you wrote! I love both of the quotes you shared. I always want to remember that my journey is just that, mine. Very cool Amy, thank you!!
Great thoughts Amy. And I love the not comparing yourselves to others quote. I do that WAY too much. Thanks for the beautiful words and reminder.
I really love this post and Cheryl's quote-it is so true. Thank you for sharing.
I love what you said about living your life and not apologizing for it. I wish someone had told me that years ago too. I still find myself apologizing for my successes to certain people in my life (most my mother and sister). I also have a hard time accepting that I am good at things, because no matter how good I may be, there is always someone better than me (this is probably the reason that I haven’t started my own blog yet ). I LOVE reading your thoughts and seeing that I am not the only one out there who feels inadequate and self-conscious. You are truly amazing and I feel honored to call you my friend.
Your words always seem so elegent to me. Inspired almost. While its fun to challenge ourselves its so hard to not compare. I feel bad for those trying to compete with you. You've set the bar so high in the creative department-rather you are one we all look to for inspiration and with great admiration.
great quotes, and great sentiments. i needed to read those this morning. i have made similar realizations in my life about comparing myself to others. i only wish i could have figured it out well before 37.
i still have to remind myself every day. but it's worth it. to just DO. to just get it out there.
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