bottle it up

I came around the corner the other day and walked straight into this scene. Megan has recently discovered an old ipod that has thought to be extinct, but with most things Megan touches, it has somehow come back to life. She's been quite excited about her discovery and we've often found her roaming the house with ear buds dancing or mumbling the tunes the best she can.



When I saw her there I couldn't help but think of this summer day in 2006. She was almost 2 years old and quite enchanted with the little box that brought music to her ears. I'd like to think not much has changed since then, and if I was just looking at the ear buds and the ipod I'd say nothing has, but the photo tells a different tale. It's funny, when I look at it now after all this time, I realize that's the way I see her--still itty bitty, still in constant need of me. If I didn't have these photos for proof it would almost be hard to believe this much time has past. How come it doesn't feel that way? How come so much life can happen in five years and yet when you look back it seems like just the other day? It's good to know whether or not time speeds up or slows down that we are all moving together.

Here I sit reminiscing about the past, but as I look back at that first photo from the other day I can so easily see Megan in her future. A teenager with spunk and sass ready to take on the world. It's good to know I don't have to be ready for that just yet (not sure I ever will) and I can enjoy her smallness for a little while longer. Right now I can't get enough of where we're all at. I love this stage--the ease before life starts to become complicated with emotions, friends, and hard decisions.

I love it here, I wish I could bottle it up.

Today...

I could have done without the snow. Do not attempt to adjust your screen the white flakes you see are in fact snow. I cried a bit as I watched it fall this morning & collect on the road. We probably got a total of 3 inches all together. It did melt very quickly once it decided to stop, but I'm sad it killed my neighbors newly planted flowers.

I'm grateful for late night talks & time spent reconnecting.

I've been listening to Sarah by Ray LaMontagne. His entire album Gossip In the Grain is so mood altering I can't get enough. Another favorite is I Still Care For You.


I've been looking through the photos I took of Bella in her play Saturday. I thought she was funny and did a great job acting, much better than I could have ever done. I wonder if this is something she will want to continue with. In this scene she's a citizen of the emerald city so that's why all the green.

I've been attempting to watch the series finale of Lost while I fold clothes. Finally after 30 minutes of in & out I realize I just need to wait til tonight. I have a feeling I'm going to be let down and be ashamed I spent so much of my time on this show.

I feel understood.

We played blockus for FHE.


I'm wondering when my body will stop hurting? Adam took this picture Saturday unbeknownst to me while I was doing the kick boxing portion of p90x. Can't believe how sore you can be from hitting air.

Adam and I bought The National's new album High Violet. The jury is still out. A few songs stood out right away, but I'm not completely sold on the rest...not yet anyway.

this weeks headlines

one for piano
Tess finally started piano lessons Wednesday after school. I dropped the ball last year finding her a teacher in time, but this year I was fortunately enough to find a great teacher who lives close. As I sat watching her lesson I couldn't help, but think her teacher reminded me of my own grandma and then I felt even more excited that we had found her. I think it's going to be a great match.



thank goodness for backup
This has been my set up since my computer failed me last weekend. Thank goodness I had some sort of back up. I never realize how much I depend on my computer until it's gone. Besides needing certain files, not getting to create the tags I needed for Sunday, or having photoshop, the laptop has worked great. Luckily, Adam is picking up my computer this afternoon so I won't have to go another weekend without it. :)



always better to buy
I'm not sure what i was thinking except some where in the last few weeks I decided making costumes this year was the way to go. I guess after I made the apron I thought, why not do it old school. Megan picked out her costume, she wants to be Little Red Riding Hood, and I hit Joann's yesterday to pick up the pattern and fabric. $40 later. Yes, $40, I left feeling duped. I guess those nice $30 costumes online aren't such a bad deal after all (even though I have yet to spend $30 on a costume). What was I thinking? I was just having this conversation over the weekend with Robyn and Jill that you can't make clothes for cheaper than you can buy them.

a cold reminder
I heard through my screams and curses after getting a shot of cold water from Adam while enjoying my nice warm shower this morning, "nothing is worse that not feeling alive!"

and last, but not least



August & September giveaways
For one reason or another my August giveaway didn't happen so I'm making that month up. I'm giving away 10 Happy Birthday photo tags to two readers. Just like the ones seen in my esty store. If you would like a chance to win just comment and I will announce winners on Saturday eve.

have a great weekend!

what was I thinking?

I can't walk up stairs today. You see, my neighbor talked me into doing this boot camp with her that started Monday morning at 5:30am. Two days into it and my legs aren't functioning like they should...I know, what was I thinking?! It's hard getting up and the workout has gotten harder each morning, but I'm loving (as long as the weather cooperates) being outdoors and watching the sun rise each day. That alone has made a huge impact on my morning...I'm finding I'm way more productive when I get home. Of course coming home and being with Adam for a bit doesn't hurt either. We usually never spend the mornings together so this has been a welcome change.


[outside restaurant]

It's nice Wednesdays are rest day from boot camp because I was up late with Lori seeing Keane in concert last night. It was FANTASTIC. Admittedly much better than I thought it would be. As I stood there singing along I found myself realizing how much I did in fact love Keane. I mean, I knew I loved them that's why I bought tickets, but I didn't realize I loved them. I could have kicked myself for not bringing in my camera. I am so mad. I had it with me, in the car, but left it thinking they wouldn't let me bring it in. I am still not over the fact that I don't have pictures and video of my night standing in the dark with screaming fans...what was I thinking?

four for one

Today is a music day.
I know it probably sounds crazy, but I don't listen to music everyday. Some days I need the quiet, other days I crave the noise. Today just happens to be one of those days where I need something. Right now I'm listening to the Weepies, Adele, and Jem.

She said

[as of saturday. it looks slightly better now...slightly.]

Me: "Tess, have you seen my red marker?" (said while fumbling through my studio looking for marker)
Tess: "Maybe you could find it if you cleaned off your desk."
What can you say to that, especially since that has been my advice to her?
Me: "touche'!" (is that how you spell it? I never took french.)

Spring snow


It's officially spring as of Saturday and it couldn't look further from that outside. Big snowflakes have been falling since last night and my world is covered in white. While I'm not to happy about it, I want 70 degrees again, it does look beautiful. I'm enjoying it like it's the last time I'll see it until November comes around. Hopefully that will be the case.

She made my day


We spend most of the day together yesterday while the other girls played chess with their dad. She told me lots of things like the meaning of the word "crush". Apparently it's when two people kiss. Should I be afraid that she knows this word even if she got it wrong? Then she told me she loves me because I take care of her, and that I'm good at it. It felt important for me to hear and definitely saw it as a tender mercy from above.

shares & finds

1. Late last night I found this code that will block someone from rt clicking and saving your photos or any content from your blog. As far as I know it works when I try to rt click on my photos. Does it work when you try? If you want the same kind of protection just follow their instructions and put the code in the {body} portion of your blog or website.

2. One of the other reasons why I love So You Think You Can Dance, obviously I love it for the dancing, is the music finds. I loved Mia Michaels dance Wednesday night and can't figure out if it was the dance I loved or the music...I guess together they were a perfect fit. Immediately I went to my computer and purchased Beautiful by Me'Shell N'degeocello. If you ever want to find out the music they use go here and it will give you a list of the dances, choreographers, and music used. You can even see past seasons info. Very cool.

3. Wednesday and Thursday I worked on two more canvases for my wall.


inspired by elsie flannigan and paulette insall


the cupcake was inspired by eflannigan.

here's an update of my wall so far...


I am seriously enjoying this project and don't think I will stop with the four.

4. A photo I took yesterday while we lazily played outside (is that possible?). Of all the others I took it spoke summer to me...the sun streaming through her hair as the wind blew the strands about catching her laughter. It was a good summer afternoon.



The next two weeks are going to be crazy crazy for me so it's been nice not to have anything scheduled this week. The kids have had play dates and we've basically just hung out...the best way to enjoy a summer in my opinion.

Oh and this because Tess said she wanted to be "mom"...my shoes, my glasses, my book.

savoring a not so busy saturday & a few randoms

Because I had absolutely nothing I had to do today (love that) I attempted to paint this morning. Apparently I wasn't inspired in the least so grumpily I gave up and started cleaning. I enjoy starting a weekend off with some deep cleaning, especially when you add listening to a book at the same time, it really can make for an enjoyable experience.

I haven't seen my kids all day because they've been busy playing with this box.



You can't really see it, but they've been decorating it with markers. I told them when Dad finally comes inside he would cut them a door, but they just couldn't wait that long and ripped one for themselves...eventually they did take it outside. I love watching them play with their imaginations.

I found the song I was looking for (not that you knew I was looking for it) even with the internet it took me some time because I was completely on the wrong track. I saw an old navy commercial the other day and must have seen or heard something that caught my attention because I rewound my tivo and went back to watch the whole thing (i rarely do that). It sounded so much like Ashlee Simpson and then they showed the girl singing and I knew for certain it was her. Apparently I was way off, hence the problem finding it, it was not Ashlee Simpson. As it turns out the song is called The Last Thing On Your Mind by Lights. After my internet research I found out she was discovered by Old Navy on her MySpace page. How cool is that? She has fours songs available to purchase on itunes. I have been listening to it over and over again. Do you ever do that? Listen to a song until you're sick of it. I seem to do that all the time when I find something I can't get enough of. P.S. Dani I think you'll especially love it.

Since I have loads of time on my hands today I finally replaced some photos I've been meaning to for so long.

black-in my studio...white-in my entry way

When I say so long it's because the square frame in my entry has been a Christmas photo of the girls I've been meaning to change out. I had an idea I would change this frame to accompany each season, but so far I haven't done it. Seriously I don't know how time gets away from me.

Here is a closer view of the photo in the frame. I took it one afternoon while the girls were playing across the street on their scooters. Sweet Meg took a moment out of her play time to pick some dandelions for me like she did all last summer. I love that she continues to do this each time she goes outside to play.



Have a fabulous weekend.

5 from the top

1. loving
40 minutes into a fabulous 49 minute phone conversation with Adam, who's in Las Vegas at the moment, I snapped this while looking out my window at the snow coming down yet again. Does it ever stop?

But back to the conversation with Adam that completely made my night. I have said before he is my catalyst, in fact I wrote about that here 18 months ago, and I still feel it to this day. He has a way of inspiring and giving me just what I need to help me grow while calming my it_can't_be_done tendencies. He is a gift.


2. Finishing

I've had this layout sitting on my desk for about, hmm... 2 months at least. I don't know why I leave things unfinished so often. It's not like it was hard to add the tag and stamp the letters, but it sat through my Christmas projects and finally was completed this afternoon because I was sick of moving it around from table to table.

3. Creating

A couple of days ago I was messing around with making these simple 6x6 notebooks. Nothing special I just folded the paper and sewed it together, but I like the way it turned out.

4. Listening
A few favorite songs at the moment. I just can't get enough of there beautiful haunting way.
City by Sara Bareilles
What Were the Chances by Damien Jurado
Accidental Babies by Damien Rice (an unfortunate title, but beautiful song)

5. feeling

I went downstairs to get the girls to bed and found them totally glued to the tv watching Harold and the Purple Crayon with such serious looks on their faces. When I told them it was time to turn it off and get ready for bed Bella told me they felt sad because the episode was about when Harold's goldfish dies. Tess chimes in and explains how he just doesn't understand why the fish died or what it even meant. As I kneeled down to pray with them Tess got in my lap and cried. I understood her tenderness (I cry in movies a lot) and held her until we got to her room alone where I asked if she wanted to talk. She didn't, she "just wanted to be with me". I held her for a while hoping she won't have to taste the bitterness of loss for a very very long time.

discover this today

This is the find of a century for me and absolutely the best music I've ever discovered. There are very few songs that I go to in times of need and this album is definitely one of them. It tugs at my heart. It makes me feel loved. It helps me to forget my problems. It helps me cry. It keeps me close to my feelings. Most importantly it makes me feel real.

Good mail to me

oh my.

I didn't think the new Keane could be so good. I have been listening to it all afternoon and love love love it. If you like their music you must run out and buy it or purchase it at itunes today. It's that good. Plus the lead singer is easy on the eyes with a mesmerizing British accent.

I'm in this place.

A place I hate to be, but too often find myself.


I was listening to the song "that I would be good" by alanis morisette this evening. A song I feel in love with years ago when I first heard it. I was living downtown SLC at the time. Life was very different then, but strangely enough my feelings were not. I never thought I could be so complex and yet I struggle with "me" constantly. Struggle with who I am naturally and who I want to be. Perhaps it's my life long battle. The one I must endure. The one I must overcome in order to find peace.

This is for me.
A good reminder.
That no matter what.
I am me.
And "me" is beautiful.

mellow vs. a beat

As I put in David Gray my sweet Tess said to me, "not daddy's song, the girls songs". It was so funny that she would put it that way. I knew exactly what she wanted. She wanted to listen to music with a beat that was easy to dance to, not the mellow deep kind. This girl love to dance.

I understand how she feels. Dancing and loud music has a way of helping me cope and I enjoy the break and release I feel when I move. But there is always a time and place for the songs that make you think, that take you to a place you need to visit...and right now I'm in one of those moods.

girls music next!!

musical gift

I can tell you right now this little 5 year old of mine, Bella, has a musical gift. She's been playing the violin for 3 months now and has picked it up quickly. I think since her recital she's been a bit unsure, she's not so thrilled about performing, but I think it will come in time. I hope the more she performs she will enjoy it because her talent is certainly God given. She amazes me.