creative wednesday (3 weeks)

Never fear I have not given up on my creative Wednesdays it's just been a crazy couple of weeks since I've been gone so I'm here to report what I've been up to for the last 3 weeks.

Week 6
I was in North Carolina, but that doesn't mean I wasn't being creative. The whole week was a creative journey of sorts. Here are a few of the projects I worked on.






[Photo by Elizabeth MacCrellish]

What I realized while there is you don't have to be a painter to play around with paint. I finally let go of any ideals and realized that I am what I am and painting is not necessarily my thing and you know what...I am so ok with that. I'm more than ok. I paint because I enjoy it and once I put all my preconceived ideas aside, and just did it, I had more fun with a brush in my hand then I can remember. Hopefully this knew found knowledge will help encourage me to paint more often.

Week 7
Last Wednesday I spent the entire morning on my computer looking through 1000+ images and began to edit and share them with my friends from Squam. I actually couldn't believe how long it took, I really do minimal editing, but sorting through 1000+ images is time consuming no matter the subject.









It was an enjoyable process for me...it always is. One of my favorite things about traveling is looking through all the photos once I return. There has been so much time between taking the pictures and downloading them that I often surprise myself at what I find.
You can go here to see more images.

Week 8
Yesterday I was primarily working on the gratitude journals. I spent most of my morning redesigning the art to fit a different size only to find out I spent my time redesigning it to the wrong size so it has to be redone. Oh well, we live and learn. I'm doing this because I'm in the process of looking for a printing house to help me. I so believe in the power of what thinking about what we're grateful for on a daily basis can do and how it can change us that I want to be able to share these books with as many people as are interested.


So last night in my attempt to get back the time I lost, while my friend Jenica painted, I worked on the skeletons for gratitude journals. I have the guts and skeletons, now I just need to put it all together. I do love seeing them come together.

So what have you done creative in the last three weeks?

xoxo
amy gretchen

ramblings before bed

The tooth fairy is suppose to be visiting our house tonight, problem is the tooth fairy is tired and ready for sleep so she needs to find something to do to keep herself awake. Reading wasn't working so blogging it is.

I'm glad for a moment to blog. I've missed it...a lot. My time has been consumed with Woman's Conference (sorry to keep bringing it up, but it is my life right now and you probably will keep hearing about it until May 1st. Trust me I am praying for May 1st to come sooner than you are). The reading/pondering/searching have taken up every bit of my time and for good reason. I feel a huge responsibility to say something meaningful while being true to myself. I pray I don't disappoint.












[we each took a turn in the night to work on each others canvas.]

I was looking through these recent photos I took of the art/painting night I had with my friends last week. I guess you could say I'm trying to pin point exactly what it is I love about these moments in my life and why I'm drawn to them. There are many and for many different reasons. 1. I need a creative outlet. 2. I enjoy being with my friends. 3. I need me time. I think we all need that little break from the everyday life, if it's going out with friends or visiting a quiet bookstore to roam the isles, it helps us appreciate what we're leaving behind. Like now. Adam is in CA for the night and as I close up shop, put the girls to bed myself, and look into my empty room I think, it's nice to miss him.

Lately we, Adam and I, have been talking about confidence or the lack there of as the case may be. It really does baffle me how much I struggle with it. The night I was painting with my friends it all came crashing down (my confidence) and despite the fact that I had a great time I left feeling like painting just isn't my thing. And I'm ok with that if that were the issue, but it's not. My lack of confidence sadly goes far beyond a paint brush...if only. Adam and I discussed ways to gain confidence, but I still wonder if it's something learned or if it's just something you are born with. Food for thought. What do you think? I have to believe it's something that can be attained by all. At what lengths?...that is the better question.

I'm certain now my girls are all fast asleep so I will say goodnight and leave my ramblings for another day to do the work of the elusive tooth fairy.

miscellany

the guts of the books are all done now (printed, folded, punched, sewn, glued) and I'll be spending most of my day working on the outside so I can get these to you next week. I am waiting for a shipment of book board (I ran out) to come in and found out it won't be arriving until the 13th. So even though I'm ahead of schedule, it will most likely be Friday that they make it onto etsy. I will let you know though.


Painted with Hannah, Jenica, and Amy again Thursday night. We worked on our word for the year canvases. Here's a glimpse of what I was working on. Whenever I get together with other woman I realize why we need friends in our life. There's just something about the ease in which a conversion flows with girls and the importance of shared confidences and inevitable laughter that stays with you long after you've gone home.


Because I went painting Thursday night Megan woke up Friday morning wanting to paint with me. I guess there's something way more fun about using mom's paint and mom's brushes. She made a "butterfly flying in the fields" and I just messed around with layering paint on a small 5x7 canvas. For me it was just all about being with her and watching her explore.


Adam's been talking to me about painting our room for the last month or so. I've been against it because he wanted a ginger color and I just don't want to do any type of red (I've done it before and wasn't a big fan). Wednesday he told me he wanted to paint it this gray color that I love. I was excited as we really do need a change, but admit to being apprehensive when I woke up Friday morning and saw all the white patches covering the walls knowing he was getting ready to make good on his promise to paint. He got started on it this morning and I absolutely love it. It's much darker than before, but it's definitely what I had in mind, I don't know why I ever doubted. He's got a couple more Saturdays of painting to go, but so far it's marvelous. I'll definitely post pictures when it's done because we also plan on adding curtains and different lamps. I love how changing just a little can make such a huge difference.

Have a great weekend.

More days like this

yesterday:

*6am bootcamp

*Started laundry and eventually got 2 loads done.

*Took my girls to swim lessons & read for 1/2 hour.

*Dropped girls off at a friends house for a play date. (I'm watching her kids all day Friday so we swapped.)

*Visited my 52 year old neighbor to drop off a birthday treat and ended up talking with her and another neighbor, who was there visiting, for about an hour. It was such a pleasant conversation and I again reminded myself of how much I enjoy the company of older woman or maybe I should say woman older than me (I don't see them as old).



*Came home and painted. Yes, can you believe I actually did something? Adam, Randy (Jill's Randy), and I sat talking Saturday evening while eating homemade french fries about finding your artistic way (among other things). I always feel a little guilty about blatantly copying someones work, and a little less like an artist because it isn't my vision, but they both encouraged me to imitate and eventually my style will emerge. "Everyone does it", they say. I don't know why I would doubt them, I mean, I have seen first hand with my photography. I started out being drawn to certain things, trying to imitate it, and eventually over years and lots of photos my own style came through. I guess for now I just need to be ok with not expressing my way and hopefully I'll get there.

Since that conversation I've been itching to do something and eventually stumbled across this piece of art in Elsie Flannigan's etsy store. I was drawn to the clean-ness/simple-ness of it and the words "i'm still learning" so I decided to tackle it. Each time I paint I realize how much I don't know or understand. If only I could sit and watch someone and ask questions. I am determined to find a nearby class this fall. Here's my finished piece...I didn't have room for the apple.

*Played go fish when the girls got home.


[Heber Valley by Tess, click here to enlarge]

*While I finished the last details of the my painting Tess and Megan joined me. Eventually Megan left and it was just Tess and I. She drew a picture of our camping experience a few weekends ago and then used watercolors to paint it. I loved her vision and wish I had some of it.

*Bella surfaced at some point and helped me make dinner.

*5pm we had the LDS missionaries over for dinner. Apparently I need to do it more often because I didn't hear a word of complaint about the food. Everyone ate...that never happens.


[photo courtesy Tess]

*After cleaning up we all went outside, the girls riding scooters while Adam and I sat on the porch and talked. We've had a bit of a disconnect lately so it was nice to find each other again.

*9pm we all went in. The girls went to bed smelling of the outdoors and Adam and I stayed up watching Prime.

I went to bed thinking I could do this day over and over again. While we were busy and I didn't stop once it was full of all the good things I want to have in my life everyday. Time with adam and the girls. Time for myself. Exercise. Dinner as a family. Having company. Great weather. Visiting/seeing friends. Stimulating conversations.

I pray we have more days like this.

randomness

**Tuesday, Megan woke up with a tummy ache. I had a hard time believing it was the flu, but she proved me wrong by throwing up in the hallway on her way to the bathroom. She took it like a champ, like she usually does. It's interesting how chatting and witty she was after getting whatever it was out of her system. I got her all cleaned up and cozy in my bed and turned on a movie for her. She was asleep almost instantly. I was in my bathroom getting ready for the day talking to her when I realized she wasn't talking back. She slept from 9:30-1pm was up for a bit and then again from 2:30-6pm. I fully thought Adam and I were in for it, but she put herself to bed at 8pm after eating peanut butter crackers and slept through the night. This morning she's back to herself again. It was a weird, but quiet 24 hours.

**Tess got a Nintendo DS for her birthday and right away we had to put the rules in place. It's rules we had before, but over time have become lax with. The rule goes something like this: play the DS as much as you want as long as you've read just as much before. So if you read 20 minutes you get to play 20 minutes. Anyway, every day after school Tess and Bella, equipped with a digital clock, have been reading. All I can say is...it's working!



**The girls and I spent the evening in my studio. Bella and I set her up an email address so she could stay in contact with friends, her favorite teacher, and cousins over the summer. She sent out a few emails and even got one back. She was thrilled and excited about the power of instantaneous messaging. If she's this excited about emails I wonder what she will think when she grasps the concept of text messaging...hopefully she won't care for another eight years. While we did that Tess and Megan sat next to us painting. It started out civil and then got out of control messy. Paint all over the chair, the printer, the table, and them. Even my sink didn't fair well, it got just as blue as the rest (see it here). I kept it together though, reminding myself it's all for the sake of art. Luckily, acrylic is washable, but unfortunately not in white grout.

**Occasionally while at Target I'll browse the book section, I prefer to shop online (cheaper) or at Barnes and Noble...for the atmosphere, but I was in need of a book because I'm finishing up The Middle Place. I found Almost Moon by Alice Sebold thinking so many people loved Lovely Bones this must be decent, but still hesitant because I hadn't heard of it before. I was intrigued that the book covers a 24 hour period so I bought it. After I got home I decided to look at the reviews just to see what I was getting myself into. Can I just say, I'm so glad I did. Apparently there is a reason no one I know has read it. Loads of people gave it 1 star on goodreads and called it "disturbing". I guess there's a reason why I always stick with books my friends have read. I'm bummed I have to make another trip to Target this week...it's hard to get out of there.

randomness take...what number am I on?

I'm feeling sort of random today so I thought I would throw out an "amy random" post...why not? Apparently it's one of the things I do best. I'm always blurting random things (a horrible quality of mine) and trying to control my mind from racing from one thing to the next.

1. My girls have finally started swimming lessons for the summer. They are much better than I remember, but still not any where near a good swimmer. I find this very frustrating when taking them to the pool. No one is safe and I am on a constant vigilant watch (I am in the pool with them, but it's so hard to keep track of 3 alone). At the lesson today the boy in Tess' class got out and told his mom he just peed in the pool. I was sickened and seriously thought about not coming back. How often do you think that happens? ALL THE TIME is my guess. Disgusting. I hate public pools, but what's a girl to do.

2. I'm sitting at home on a fine summer afternoon with a big fat lip.


[why do i feel like this photos is not doing my crazy big lip justice. It's so much worse in person.]

I know what you're thinking...a collagen job gone terribly wrong, right? No. I just happen to finally get into the dermatologist to have my lip growth check out and he wanted to do a biopsy. Whatever anesthetic they gave me to numb the pain made my lip swell up like I had been punched in the face. I can't believe how self conscious I was walking out of the building. I felt like it was a race to get outside, get my sunglasses on, and pretend nothing looked amiss. So I can't go anywhere, I mean I can't go swimming or really be out in the sun. I can't eat right because my mouth won't open all the way and it can't be wet for 24 hours, which means I'm drinking from a straw. The blackened wound is going to be around for at least 2-4 weeks, but hopefully the black will go away. Good times you guys...good times.

3. I am doing my best not to stress about the results of my biopsy. The nurse told me the doctor would call if it's a problem (i.e. cancer or something like it) and that she would call if it's nothing to worry about. I really hope it's a woman on the other end of the phone call or I might not get through it. I'm trying hard not to freak out.

4. I've been painting the last few days. Painting my last 8x8 canvas on my wall of 4.



I had this great vision in my head, but it didn't quite come out the way I had planned. The colors are all wrong (i was trying to pick something that would go with the rest of the paintings, but from far way the pink and the orange blend) and I think it needs a little something, but I don't know what. Back to the drawing board I go to hopefully give it what it needs. Perhaps I can fix it after all.

5. Speaking of painting, I did some what I like to call "painting with light" the other day. I was playing around with my camera and took this.



Not to exciting, but I loved the flow of the colors. I think I will play some more outside later when I can face the world again. It's a combination of a slow shutter speed and moving the lens at the same time.

6. I've really been thinking about opening an etsy store lately, but I don't have a clue what I would sell. There is so much good stuff on there I can't imagine what I could contribute. The only thing unique to me is my photos so I might make them into cards, like I've done, with words and quotes and sell them. I don't know. The idea of it sort of scares me. Do you have an esty store? Have you thought of opening one?

Happy Happy Birthday Jill. I hope you have a fantabulous day!

shares & finds

1. Late last night I found this code that will block someone from rt clicking and saving your photos or any content from your blog. As far as I know it works when I try to rt click on my photos. Does it work when you try? If you want the same kind of protection just follow their instructions and put the code in the {body} portion of your blog or website.

2. One of the other reasons why I love So You Think You Can Dance, obviously I love it for the dancing, is the music finds. I loved Mia Michaels dance Wednesday night and can't figure out if it was the dance I loved or the music...I guess together they were a perfect fit. Immediately I went to my computer and purchased Beautiful by Me'Shell N'degeocello. If you ever want to find out the music they use go here and it will give you a list of the dances, choreographers, and music used. You can even see past seasons info. Very cool.

3. Wednesday and Thursday I worked on two more canvases for my wall.


inspired by elsie flannigan and paulette insall


the cupcake was inspired by eflannigan.

here's an update of my wall so far...


I am seriously enjoying this project and don't think I will stop with the four.

4. A photo I took yesterday while we lazily played outside (is that possible?). Of all the others I took it spoke summer to me...the sun streaming through her hair as the wind blew the strands about catching her laughter. It was a good summer afternoon.



The next two weeks are going to be crazy crazy for me so it's been nice not to have anything scheduled this week. The kids have had play dates and we've basically just hung out...the best way to enjoy a summer in my opinion.

Oh and this because Tess said she wanted to be "mom"...my shoes, my glasses, my book.

creatively blah...learning from another artist

Basically I've felt sort of blah for a while now. Not really knowing what or how to "do". The not knowing tends to leave me constantly thinking, which inevitably causes me to do nothing at all. I have at some point been able to thwart my funk and taken a few photos last week, but other than that when it has come to anything remotely creative I have been empty. Yes, empty is a perfect word for it. I've definitely not had anything in me, no reserves to pull from.

Moods like these are always a bit depressing or misguided as I often run away and hide, preferably in a book, hoping that inspiration will come. And I guess at times it does, but often it keeps me focused in on other lives inside the novel and I forget about my own.

Yesterday after looking at the four blank canvases on my wall one too many times, I took them down and started to build my foundation. I pulled colors I thought would work good together, but also work with the wall color. Once I had completed the first stage (keep in mind only the first stage), I laid them to dry next to each other and the overwhelming feeling that I get sometimes started creeping in...what I saw was four seemingly blank canvases I had no ideas for.



I stopped. I left. I came back. I felt the same. Determined not to allow myself to let go so quickly I got on the computer and let one link lead to another until I found Elsie Flannigan. I must admit she has never really been an inspiration to me, not because I don't think she's fabulous or an inspiration, but because what she creates I cannot possibly relate to. My mind doesn't work the same way, so while I admire her style and creativity, I admire with jealous eyes wishing I could be, they way she is, completely unique. Then I saw this painting that caught my eye. Perhaps it was that I had made a mistake while working on my canvases and already had a green background dried and ready to go or the fact that this drawing had a camera around the subjects neck. Whatever the reason, I decided I wanted to paint it. I want to tell you I was so inspired by her that I did my own thing, but sadly that is not the way it happened. Instead I was inspired to copy her painting...from the color, to the drawing, to the design. It's not what I set out to do, but I guess I knew my mind was too full to be creative in my own right and I was so desperate to paint...I gave it a try.

It felt so good to just paint something, even if it wasn't mine, to feel like I actually knew what I was doing gave me loads of confidence. It also taught me a lot about my technique, mistakes I've made in the past, and gave me ideas. Yes, ideas. So this morning I woke up wanting to do it again so I could continue the learning process I started yesterday.



Again I pulled from Elsie so I didn't have to think where I was going next, but I could just work and learn. This is as far as I got. It's not done, at least I know I want to put cloths on the girl and some detail work, but I don't think I'll spend time finishing it. I learned again from trying, feeling the paint beneath my paint brush and realized what techniques to use and what not to do to get certain results, and so for that reason the painting is finished (seeing how I'm not going to anything with it since it's not really mine).

It feels very strange to have blatantly copied another artist, I'm not sure why I'm sharing it on my blog as it seems a bit shameful, except the fact that by doing it, it helped me, it opened my eyes. It got the paint brush in my hand and helped me move again. It got me feeling excited so now when I look at those four, now colored, canvases on my wall I'm not overwhelmed...just looking forward to playing with each one.

another book...another lesson

One of the best ways for me to decide whether or not I loved a book is the way it leaves me feeling...so I cannot help but love Mrs. Mike by Benedict and Nancy Freedman. Perhaps not the best of times to finishing reading, it's either the tears from the story or the outside air that is keeping my nose stuffed up. Whatever the case, I find myself in a very thoughtful mood.

What can I say and how can I say it to express how much I took from this book. It's a beautiful story that taught me about life, love, and courage. It actually reminded me a lot of "These Is My Words", but written in a completely different setting...the harshness of the Canadian Northwest country.

"Mike was right: the pattern of life isn't a straight line; it crosses and recrosses, drawing in and tying together other lives, as I do when I gather in the ends of my thread to make a knot."

One of the several messages from the book that stuck out at me was how our lives are intertwined and connected to each others for a moment or even a lifetime, and in those comings and goings we can't help but make an impact and change each others lives forever. It's a strange concept, especially in these times where a wireless connection brings individuals together that may never have met otherwise and they touch our lives. Inspire. Teach. Serve. Give us what we need at a particular time when we are desperate for it and then they move on. Sometimes they stay and we have the pleasure of enjoying their wisdom for years to come, other times we are left with having been blessed with them in our lives if only for a moment.

I often wonder in the premortal life if I had friends that I promised I would find or if I begged them to find me knowing they had a piece of my puzzle I couldn't do without. I do not doubt the wisdom of a loving Heavenly Father who brings us those we need when we need them. It makes me realize I could be that for someone and while dripping in my selfishness someone else gets the blessing of friendship. I want to be better as I know I have only me to blame for missing an opportunity. I know I can be better at fulfilling my purpose, whatever it is, I know not, but I do know it's understanding doesn't come until after I've tried. I must first do.



Life and the way we are thrown about from place to place, from emotion to emotion is a beautiful thing if only we can see perspective. All things relative to where we're headed and where we want to end up. Life, our experiences, often have that way of throwing us off course, but the path is always there for us to resume when we realize we've always had what we've always wanted, and our friends are there walking us back, hand in hand, reminding us how much we are loved and needed.

Today I am grateful for friends.

roses

I have a friend in my neighborhood who's almost twice my age and I'm not quite sure how we came to know each other as our lives are completely different. Perhaps it was the times we spoke about life and how much I valued her wisdom on motherhood or it could have been how much I admire certain qualities she possesses, namely the way she always sends notes to people just because. I noticed this from the beginning and decided to make her some cards for Christmas hoping she would get some good use out of them.

She in time, brought me articles we'd talked about, bread, even a birthday cake. Then the other day she asked me to make her some more cards. I, of course, was more than willing and last night dropped them off at her house. As I approached she came to the door, thanked me for the cards, offered to pay (I declined), and told me her friend had sent her a gift and told her to keep them for herself of share them with her friends. She then told me she wanted to give me first choice. I had no clue what she was talking about or what it could be until I walk into her kitchen a saw a box full of four dozen roses. I was sort of confused and in awe that she would want to share them with me (it must be in lieu of payment). I mean we're not that close and they were beautiful...beautiful enough that it must have been quite the decision to want to give them up. I tried to say I couldn't possibly take them, but she insisted. So I chose the pink ones because I've never had pink roses before and thought maybe it would be the last ones that someone else might choose. I walked away feeling appreciated and happy.







So today I have a dozen pink roses to remind me that even a little gesture (a thank you, a smile, a card etc...) can make all the difference in the world to someone. Another lesson I have again been reminded of by her.

Changing the subject...

Yesterday in the late afternoon hours I painted. It really is so therapeutic to just let my mind go and paint. Perhaps that is why I am prone to do it over other creative activities these days.



Have a fabulous weekend. :)

back to the normally scheduled program

I had the pleasure of having my morning to myself yesterday as my mom thankfully had my girls over for a sleepover so I could go to my bookclub Wednesday night. It was sort of strange coming home to an empty house, Adam was out of town, and waking up to a silent home, but it did allow me to finally get to some things I had been meaning to....namely creative.

Once again I took inspiration from Donna Downey and tired a different medium...watercolors. I had never used them before, well I guess I have when painting with my kids Crayola pack, but never tried a painting for real. So I just sketched a little drawing and used watercolors to fill it in.



I'm not sure it was a good first try, but I like it. Perhaps I just really like the drawing (wish i had that hair), and the way I was feeling when I did it makes it more meaningful. I don't know that watercolors will be my medium of choice, but I really like the airiness watercolors provide. Later in the day Bella saw me working on it and asked if it was for her. Apparently she really likes it and thought it looked like her. I think I may frame it and hang it in her room. Hopefully it will help reminder her that she is beautiful just the way she is.


I have a day ahead of me to think of what me and the girls can do, I want to do something fun since we have no big plans for spring break. I'm debating between a picnic at the park or Children's Discovery. The Sesame Street Body exhibit is still going and and I think they'd really like it, but it is a lot of work keeping your eye on three kids when there is so much going on. It seems sort of exhausting, but isn't that the types of things we do for our kids...running around in a stuffy building, being a kid ourself so they can have the experiences that makeup childhood. Hmm? I think I may do that.

I hope you have a wonderful start to your Easter weekend. Can't believe it's Easter in 2 days.

** Thank you all for your kind comments on my post yesterday. It's good to be back. **

SPT - hello 2008

Resolutions.

Ah. I love making resolutions. I must admit I'm not the best at keeping them, but I sure have the best intentions when I make them.

This year I have a lot I want to accomplish, so much so that I'm beginning to realize I may be setting myself up for failure. I know, not the kind of talk you want to have on the 8th of January, but a realistic conversation I must have with myself in order to keep me sane for the next 12 months. So I'm in the process of again reevaluating to see if I need to make any changes to my list. The problem is I really don't want to cut anything out so I must press forward and just make it happen.

One of my goals is to become a painter. Perhaps it's better to say I want to learn and understand how to paint. My means of making this happen is to at least do one painting and/or work on my art journal once a week. I am hoping at first just to get the hang of working with a different medium and then hopefully going for some riskier creative stuff. Ha, as if I could really change my ways, but really I guess that's the point of this. To give myself exposure and to hopefully help me be more creative in other areas of my life.


I had my camera set up and had tess press the button one after the other so the shot would be more candid with me working without knowing the shutter was going off. This isn't the best shot I got, but I loved it because I'm deep in thought looking at the painting wondering what else it needs. It made me happy to see me like this.

Today I took some time and worked on two paintings. My goal was to do one, but I was having so much fun I didn't know how to stop. I had my music on and was in the zone so I kept going. I must say I loved it. I love feeling free and creating and just letting myself go where I want to. It can be dangerous though, I can see myself getting too lost and ignoring my other duties so I need to be careful of that.

Here is painting one called Journey


Here is painting two and the one I'm working on in the photo.

My plan for this one is to add live on it in AM foam letters, but I have yet to do so. I'm still looking at it making sure adding the word won't take away from what I love about it. Actually the words you can see (barely) in the butterfly is the definition of Live ripped out of a dictionary so I may just circle the work and call it good. I don't know yet. Whatever I decided I am very happy with them both and look forward to my new challenge this year.