here we go again

I'm not sure I'm ready. I should be ready as I've known about this for a while now, but I'm just not quite prepared to take the plunge and become a Suzuki parent for the second time. Why you ask? Because the violin is so involved on the parents part I don't know if I'm ready to start from scratch right now. Well, I better hurry because I only have a few hours to contemplate my unreadiness.



On the other hand Megan is more than ready. She sure was cute this afternoon when we went to get her a violin. I can't believe how small it is (I've forgotten), and how adorable she looks holding it. She is very excited and won't stop asking me if she can hold it and now she has resolved to say, "I'm just going to look at it, ok?" It cracks me up the way this girl always talks in the affirmative as if the answer will undoubtedly be yes...it's certainly hard to say no to. I guess it's a good thing she wants to play so badly, but I think she may just drive me crazy until she does. Thank goodness it's all in good time. She still has several weeks using a fake violin before she can move onto the real thing.

Wish us luck. I know I'm going to need it.

back to school

We've successfully made it through our first day of school. Bella and Tess started today and as far as my girls were concerned it was five days too late. Since back to school night, last Wednesday, they have been chopping at the bit to get back to school so needless to say I think Sunday night was a sleepless night for the two of them.



For someone who claims to like taking pictures I sure do a lousy job at remembering my camera. It wasn't until we were on the school grounds and I saw other mom's taking pictures that it occurred to me I should have brought my camera. I guess I was just trying to get everyone out of the house and it slipped my mind. Thank goodness I had my phone on me and was able to capture the event after all.

I don't usually go into the school with them so it was a treat for me this year to send them off this way. Once I was there I realized how much I've missed these last 2 years having them go with our carpool instead of taking them myself. It was fun to see my girls meet up with their friends (some they hadn't seen the entire summer) giggling and laughing as they waited for the bell to ring, all of them excited to get into their classrooms and start the day. One thing I hadn't anticipated, but was thrilled to see was how much Bella and Tess loved going to school together. They couldn't wait to look for each other during the day and meet up after school to talk about their day.

I'm glad I decided to see them off at the door because it felt like such a significant event. Two kids gone all day seems so unbelievable to me. I remember thinking about this years ago, wondering what it would feel like. Strangely enough it feels natural, like it was meant to happen this way. I am more excited for the adventures they will have this year than sad at missing them. It is a part of life and childhood to have them gone and it will definitely make the times we are together after school and in the evenings that much more meaningful. Plus let's not forget I will have Megan here with me to keep me company. I think in two years when they are all gone I may feel differently, but then again you never know, it may feel as natural as it does today.

Do you feel sad when your kids go back to school?
or Do you look forward to the day?

love em like my own

an attempt to get a shot of the kiddos for my mom.

details from my sister's visit

It's crazy when you don't really think about something how quickly time passes. I had no idea the last time I had updated my blog was on Tuesday. Man, this week just flew by.

I had a date with Bella this afternoon that lasted shorter than expected because we got a flat tire. Luckily I had Adam to rescue me and am hoping if it ever happens again I will be able to do it on my own. It's not that I don't know how to change a tire, but I've never actually done it in my current car and there was definitely a learning curve. He was generous enough to run around this afternoon and get a new tire so I am finding myself at home earlier than expected with time on my hands. Fabulous, just enough time to finally look through the photos I took while my sister was in town.

Once a bit of time has past I find it so enjoyable to look through and proof my photos. It's a chance for me to really savor the fond memories of those two weeks and remember little details from each one.

Like this one of Megan and my niece Estee.


In years past they have been, for lack of a better term, rivals and this time they played together fabulously...for the most part. Apparently they are growing up.


This photo cracks me up because it a) reminds me of when I was a kid. I always wanted to raise my hands to prove I was brave enough and that I could do it and b) it shows Bella winking. A new skill to her that she often does around the house to remind us of her coolness...also love that thumbs up.


Can't miss a swimming photo. It was a huge hit this year and the first year I would ever dare say we have swimmers at our house. Bella and Tess seemed to really grow this year in their swim classes. They have a long way to go, but it's miles from where they were last year. The afternoons at the pool aren't quite so stressful.


And how could I ever pass up a chance to post of photo of these two best friends. They were together as much as ever.


My Adam taking Megan for the ride of her life (many times I saw her with her hands over her ears, but afterwards she was all smiles). He really is just a kid at heart.


With the Olympics going on it wasn't long before the kids were trying to emulate their favorite athletes, aka Shawn Johnson and Michael Phelps. I loved that it was something we could all enjoy together and that the kids actually got way into cheering them on.


And not to forget the down time where the kids were off playing made up games, discovering new games on the computer, or giggling in the other room. I think that's my most favorite thing of all. To hear and see them, all of them getting along so well loving each and every minute.

I could go on and on, but will spare you and leave it at this. It was a great visit and a fabulous way to end the summer. Well, almost end...the summer is not over yet.

have a great weekend.

getting ready

Since my sister's departure it's been non stop or at least that's how it feels. I keep thinking I will at some point update my blog and share all that we did, but I don't think that's going to happen for a while, which means I probably won't look at my photos for some time. I'm beginning to realize how blogging keeps me photo efficient.

So among trying to catch up with all the house stuff I missed while I was on my 2 week in town vacation, I have a lot of last minute business to get to before school starts...i.e filling out forms for school/activities, back to school night, dentist appointments, getting school supplies etc. Despite all that needs to get done and watching my two nieces this week my list is getting smaller. It feels good to be on top of it and crossing things off.

One thing that we did cross off the list last week was the back to school hair cuts. Bella has been asking me for a very very long time to cut her hair. I've been reluctant, for reasons unknown, but finally decided to just let her do what she wanted. So last Thursday she cut it all off.



I'm not sure how many inches came off, but it was a ton and quite a drastic change. It has taken me some time to get use to. It's not that I didn't initially like it, I think she looks so cute this way, but I didn't love the way the girl cut it. There is I believe a few mistakes (can't be seen in photo) I'm hoping in a few months can be fixed or maybe we'll be lucky enough it won't be as noticeable in a few weeks. I guess all I really care about is if she likes it and she does, she loves it. I for one find it so much easier to do and think it makes her look older, it's like she's grown up over night.

Tess also got her hair cut, but in a different style. With her thin hair I just had the girl cut it in a boob (she did add a layer at the bottom) and leave it long enough so I could still pull it back in a pony tail. I think it looks adorable on her.



Besides her cute cut she has also lost 2 more teeth in the last 2 weeks. It's too bad her silly posing ways (I could get her to cooperate and I haven't tried taking a picture since...haven't pick up my camera since my sister left) left me unable to capture that new smile. I must say I'm a bit worried, in her little mouth I see no room for two more teeth. Yikes!

So a bit of an update I guess. We've had some changes and they've been good. Around here everyone's looking forward to the new school year, although, I think I am a bit sad to see the summer fade away. It's been a good one.

sixteen

It's a strange feeling to wake up and realize I've known my older brother, who died sixteen years ago, as long as I haven't. It's a day I have anticipated for a long time...the sixteenth anniversary of his death. I guess it just seemed significant in some way and I'm not sure why other than it shows how much time has passed and how much life I have lived during that time.



It was nice this day has come after a two week break spent with my family while my sister and her family were in town (if you're wondering where I've been...there you have it). It's comforting to be able to share stories and to know we are together, learning to fill in the gaps he left for us that feel very apparent to me.



Despite what this day means to me, it has been a most beautiful day. I must admit I had anticipated it being somewhat of a mess, considering Sundays are not usually my best day of the week (don't know why), but it has been a very peaceful reflective day where I've focused more on what I have instead of what I don't have and embraced the healing that has taken place these last few years. How grateful I am for my knowledge of Christ's gospel that I know I will one day see him again.



Throughout the day my thoughts kept coming back to my word for the year, LIVE, and reminding me of something my brother said years ago that I will never forget, (2 weeks before his death he went on a road trip with his good friend Jeff, who unfortunately died with my brother in the car accident, and they took a video of their trip. While video taping he said these words) "and if we happen to die, know that we love you and always have a good one." As I reflect on his words today "always have a good one" I remind myself to live each day to the fullest with no regrets as I know he did. Though his life was only 18+ years long he certainly lived everyday and held nothing back. I want that...to know I have given it my all and can leave this life better than when I came. Definitely easier said than done. I have a lot of work to do.

be you

"I've always liked the time before dawn because there's no one around to remind me who I'm supposed to be, so it's easier to remember who I am." - story people

This little Tess of mine is just about to enter the world of elementary school where she will be surrounded by her peers and faced with some tough choices. As I've watched her grow up and interact with others I've seen this need of hers to be accepted (I know we all do one way or another) and have watched her change her mind based on what someone else is doing or trying to be like them. If I could give her anything it would be to always be true to herself. I know she is young and knowing who you are takes time and experience, but I would hate to see her fall into the trap that she needs to be like everybody else or there is only one way to be. I just want her to be who she is and never doubt where she came from.

It's something I wish I could just hand to her, the confidence to be who she is, but know it will be something she will have to find on her own and want. With the world's voice shouting in your ear it can be difficult to remember to just be who you are, but I know if you want it, you can get it. I still need to remind myself the same things. Perhaps our unfavorable predispositions we come here with are the things that take us a lifetime to conquer, but are worth all the fight. Indeed I think it's that fight that makes us who we are. Life really is a cycle.

So Tess keep being the fun, silly, yet sensitive little girl we have always loved...and never ever stop laughing.