summer of change

I knew when I married him or at least shortly after that Adam was a nomad. He doesn't like to be in the same place for too long. He likes to shake it up always inching his way closer to our dream home where I am promised we will live out the rest of our days. He's all about getting uncomfortable for the sake of bettering our lives. I admire him for this, though I don't easily share this same philosophy. Being uncomfortable is well...uncomfortable.

I knew this house we bought 4 years ago was not the end of the road for us, but I thought we had an understanding that the next time we moved it would be dream house time (so I'm thinking 15 years away). Well, Adam found his dream house for an attainable price Thursday, June 4th and that's where the talks began. He asked me to go see the house with him and I flat out refused and left it at that. There was no discussion, I just said, "No, sorry I won't. I don't want to move." Saturday he asked me again. At that point I knew, I just knew his search had begun and he was ready to move on. I went. It was magical. It's hidden in a canopy of trees. I could see the girls growing up there riding their bikes along the tree covered driveway. I could see the summer nights spent out on the porch talking. Laughing. I could see that the old busted house could be made into something amazing.

Still...I don't want to move. I love my house. I love what we created. I love my neighborhood/neighbors. I love the schools. I would have a hard time walking away from it.

With that said,



our house is on the market.

I can't tell you how hard that decision was and what it did to me the first time I saw that sign in my yard. My heart broke. Needless to say my first week of summer was consumed with getting my house ready for photos and showing to possible buyers. According to Megan the clouds were not the only thing crying all week. I joined them. I listened to a lot of mellow music. I changed my mind and begged Adam to keep our home until he said "ok" only to back down already knowing we are doing the right thing by selling. Maybe I just wanted to know that he'd be willing to give up moving for me. He would. I know he would because he is the reason I agreed to it. I see the wisdom in it. The market right now is ripe with opportunities. This move could be very good for my families future, but ultimately when it came right down to it, after taking all of my feelings and desires into consideration, I love him and if this is what he wants I am willing to do it.

So we're getting uncomfortable. We're going to see what happens. If our house sells we'll move. If not, we'll stay. Either way we'll be together (the 5 of us) so it doesn't really matter where we end up...even though it sort of does. :)