happiness is...

“These big things...are not the important ones. If they were, how could one go on living? No, it is the small, little things that make up a day, that bring fullness and happiness to a life.”
― Benedict and Nancy Freedman (Mrs. Mike)


starting the new year off with a bang (52photoproject | week 37 | day one)


reorganizing and decluttering.
my laundry being done for the week.
discovering that the opened sharpie marker in the washer didn't ruin any clothes.


creative night = two friends building a piece of furniture.
finding time to visit with my neighbor.
sunshine (hear it's suppose to be gray the rest of the week).


everyone in the family working together.
realizing Adam's only going to be gone for two nights instead of three.
a reminder system that works for me (2do app).
clean sheets.


one on one time with my girls.
bookclub this week.
finally feeling better.
being able to run 5 miles after taking two months off.


cookie dough covered beaters.
my camelbak -- I'm hitting my goal and drinking more water.
homemade pot stickers for dinner.
yoga tonight with Meili.


finding them all together like this.
daily journal writing.
starting a new book.

**What makes you happy?

monday miscellany | photos

Right before I took this she was singing at the top of her lungs One Day by Matisyahu. Happy memory of her.


When I got home from St. George Adam had completely change our living room around. He removed our non-dining room table and rearranged the furniture to add more seating. I liked his changes, but there is a little something that doesn't quite feel right to me...can't figure it out though.


There's a little mama robin right outside my bedroom protecting her soon to be born babies. We are all looking forward to their birth-day.


Friday night we went to the girls art night at school. It's a fundraiser where they have a silent auction and you're able to walk through the school and see a bunch of the art projects they have been working on. Shown here is Tess' mask, apparently they hung it upside down, Bella's beehive and Megan's drawings of animals.


Saturday before mother's day the 5 of us went out to celebrate. So grateful to have the four of them in my life.


I received 25 thank yous from Tess' classmates for helping with junior achievement teaching them about how communities work. It totally made my day.

deliciousness

Right about now, after not sleeping so well last night, this is looking so inviting. Good thing it's made or I don't know if I could with stand the temptation.

fresh start

I got the itch the day after Christmas. Usually it doesn't come until after New Years when I take down and box up Christmas, then I can't wait to attack my house and organize. I'm thinking it was my studio that put me over the edge.



Seriously what a disaster...the holiday was not kind to it. I spent a good portion of my day cleaning and man it felt good.



Since then the organizing bug has not left me and each day I've hit something. Monday it was Bella's room. She's in desperate need for clothes and I needed to know how desperate so we went through and cleaned out her closet which led to her entire room. It was a crazy realization to learn that she's a hoarder and not good at organizing. I've got my work cut out for me because I can't have her leaving our home without understanding that you don't have to keep everything.

It was also funny to see Tess dying for me to help her. I told her her room was next, but by the time I got done with Bella I was so wiped out that I said we would do it tomorrow. That answer was simply not good enough for her. She loves to organize and clean and wouldn't stop until she convinced me to tackle her room after lunch. So we did. Tuesday and Wednesday was left for Megan's room and the basement.

It's been such a great productive week and I feel like we have the makings for a great start around here for the new year.

i.g.

Yes, it's official. We signed our home away yesterday afternoon (2pm) with absolutely no where to go. When we signed we thought we had the house we wanted in our grasps, but then found out, hours later (4pm), we in fact did not and it was too late to turn back. Unless the buyer fails to come through we will be moving in a month.

Adam calls it "impending greatness". I call it homeless.

He sees the opportunity right away (as evidence to ig), I admit to feeling pretty terrified about the whole prospect. After all this time and the amount of people who saw the house, I was quite certain we weren't meant to move. I figured I would soon call it "the summer of the clean house" and that would be that (it helped the girls and I sharpen our organizational skills. Now they are in the habit of waking up, making their bed, and picking up their room...not bad). Then it happened...an offer, multiple exchanges, the worries, the doubts, what ifs, and then so quickly this place I have raised my family in for four years and called home is no longer mine.

I think the hardest part is not so much the selling (even though I will miss so much what we created) as it is the no where to go. That has been my greatest fear from the beginning. I never wanted to sell just to sell, I wanted to sell if we had our dream in our hands, but it appears that's not the case. Apparently this is a big lesson for me in patience, trust, and faith. Is it possible to feel calm and scared to death at the same time? I hate feeling out of control and yet, I don't doubt it will all work out in the end, somehow. I just wish I knew when the end will be. Makes me wonder...if we knew the outcome would it making doing what needed to be done any easier?

Now we are doing what I feel like we've done too often in our past...searching for a new home. Although moving is imminent, neither of us are in such a big hurry that we'll just settle for anything so if we can't find something we love I'm sure we'll rent and wait until we do. All these crazy uncertainties...I hardly recognize myself today feeling OK about it all, but I do. I think I have Adam to thank for it. If he weren't such a positive force for good in my life I would never force myself to grow.

He says "impending greatness". Today I don't doubt him.

summer of change

I knew when I married him or at least shortly after that Adam was a nomad. He doesn't like to be in the same place for too long. He likes to shake it up always inching his way closer to our dream home where I am promised we will live out the rest of our days. He's all about getting uncomfortable for the sake of bettering our lives. I admire him for this, though I don't easily share this same philosophy. Being uncomfortable is well...uncomfortable.

I knew this house we bought 4 years ago was not the end of the road for us, but I thought we had an understanding that the next time we moved it would be dream house time (so I'm thinking 15 years away). Well, Adam found his dream house for an attainable price Thursday, June 4th and that's where the talks began. He asked me to go see the house with him and I flat out refused and left it at that. There was no discussion, I just said, "No, sorry I won't. I don't want to move." Saturday he asked me again. At that point I knew, I just knew his search had begun and he was ready to move on. I went. It was magical. It's hidden in a canopy of trees. I could see the girls growing up there riding their bikes along the tree covered driveway. I could see the summer nights spent out on the porch talking. Laughing. I could see that the old busted house could be made into something amazing.

Still...I don't want to move. I love my house. I love what we created. I love my neighborhood/neighbors. I love the schools. I would have a hard time walking away from it.

With that said,



our house is on the market.

I can't tell you how hard that decision was and what it did to me the first time I saw that sign in my yard. My heart broke. Needless to say my first week of summer was consumed with getting my house ready for photos and showing to possible buyers. According to Megan the clouds were not the only thing crying all week. I joined them. I listened to a lot of mellow music. I changed my mind and begged Adam to keep our home until he said "ok" only to back down already knowing we are doing the right thing by selling. Maybe I just wanted to know that he'd be willing to give up moving for me. He would. I know he would because he is the reason I agreed to it. I see the wisdom in it. The market right now is ripe with opportunities. This move could be very good for my families future, but ultimately when it came right down to it, after taking all of my feelings and desires into consideration, I love him and if this is what he wants I am willing to do it.

So we're getting uncomfortable. We're going to see what happens. If our house sells we'll move. If not, we'll stay. Either way we'll be together (the 5 of us) so it doesn't really matter where we end up...even though it sort of does. :)

two good things came from one weekend of sick

I've been putting our house back together after the sickness that came through here this weekend. We found out Adam had strep Friday which led to Tess and Megan's diagnosis. It was strange though, Tess was running around having a great time and told me her throat didn't hurt at all. So they have all been on antibiotics and I have been doing what I can to stay away from them, which included sleeping on the couch...so far so good. I did get meds for Bella (i never gave them to her) just in case she comes down with it to because I don't want to pay another $25 to go see the doctor. So far this weekend has cost me more than $100 with co pays and prescriptions (though I will say I'm glad it was only that much).

So while they've been sick, really it only seemed like Adam was sick, I got loads of stuff done. I guess I was trying to preoccupy myself and not feel like we were under some kind of quarantine.

I totally cleaned my car inside and out. It felt so good. I never know why I wait until I just can't stand it anymore. I guess I figure until the winter is over my mats are going to look disgusting.

Bella and I moved her room around. She has been asking me to do this for a long time, but I've hesitated because there's not a whole lot we can do...she has a queen size bed and a small room with lots of windows. My sister-in-law Amy gave me a small table (thanks Amy) and Bella loved it so much I told her she could have it. I thought it would be fun to finally give her a new look and then I was able to satisfy another urge to deep cleaning. When people are sick I just want to clean.

I took down my saloon style doors in my closet and added a curtain. I've had more than one person comment about my saloon doors and make fun, although that is not the reason I took them down. For 1, they seemed to really get in my way, and 2, I would hang stuff on them so the entrance to my closet always looked like the rest of it...messy. I actually like what it looks like so much better, and hey, my closet is clean too.

I defunkified my room and cleaned the sheets. Ok, Adam cleaned the sheets for me yesterday. I guess he was sick of his sickness and took care of it for us. He seems to be much better and went back to work this morning.

There were a few things I wanted to clean that I didn't get to like my fridge and my studio desk, even Megan asked why my desk is always messy, however, a few good things came from the weekend of sickness. The house is cleaner than it was and Adam's going to be staying in town (he had a trip to New Mexico he was suppose to go on this week that he canceled because of how he was feeling). I can't complain with that.