i.g.

Yes, it's official. We signed our home away yesterday afternoon (2pm) with absolutely no where to go. When we signed we thought we had the house we wanted in our grasps, but then found out, hours later (4pm), we in fact did not and it was too late to turn back. Unless the buyer fails to come through we will be moving in a month.

Adam calls it "impending greatness". I call it homeless.

He sees the opportunity right away (as evidence to ig), I admit to feeling pretty terrified about the whole prospect. After all this time and the amount of people who saw the house, I was quite certain we weren't meant to move. I figured I would soon call it "the summer of the clean house" and that would be that (it helped the girls and I sharpen our organizational skills. Now they are in the habit of waking up, making their bed, and picking up their room...not bad). Then it happened...an offer, multiple exchanges, the worries, the doubts, what ifs, and then so quickly this place I have raised my family in for four years and called home is no longer mine.

I think the hardest part is not so much the selling (even though I will miss so much what we created) as it is the no where to go. That has been my greatest fear from the beginning. I never wanted to sell just to sell, I wanted to sell if we had our dream in our hands, but it appears that's not the case. Apparently this is a big lesson for me in patience, trust, and faith. Is it possible to feel calm and scared to death at the same time? I hate feeling out of control and yet, I don't doubt it will all work out in the end, somehow. I just wish I knew when the end will be. Makes me wonder...if we knew the outcome would it making doing what needed to be done any easier?

Now we are doing what I feel like we've done too often in our past...searching for a new home. Although moving is imminent, neither of us are in such a big hurry that we'll just settle for anything so if we can't find something we love I'm sure we'll rent and wait until we do. All these crazy uncertainties...I hardly recognize myself today feeling OK about it all, but I do. I think I have Adam to thank for it. If he weren't such a positive force for good in my life I would never force myself to grow.

He says "impending greatness". Today I don't doubt him.