illusion

if you hold on to the handle, she said, it's easier to maintain the illusion of control. but it's more fun if you let go & just let the wind carry you.

~storypeople

 

Have a great weekend! xo

52 photo project | weeks 46 | this is my home

Early on in our marriage I realized not to get too attached to the places I lived, which was completely opposite to my personality. I'm the type of person that wants to put down roots and stay awhile. I grew up in the same home, around the same people until I moved off to college so I guess you could say I was taught for most of my life to stay in one place. Adam's childhood was quite the opposite. He moved every few years, living not only in different houses, but different states.

Our married life has definitely been more about moving than staying, and perhaps it's normal when you're first starting out to begin small and upgrade until you find the home/neighborhood that's right for your family, but it almost seemed like a need, a way of life Adam was use to, so we've kept up the tradition and moved along.

Living in five different zip codes and five different homes since we've been married (15 years) I've tried, like I said, not to get attached. This home we live in now we've been here for seven years, the longest of any home, and I am quite fond of it, but honestly no more than the others. I have been fond of all our homes and have cried as we packed up and driven away for the last time. But it's not the structure I'm sad to leave, it's the memories I made there I don't want to leave behind or forget -- becoming a mother, crossing the threshold as a new bride, becoming a wife, learning to keep my own home, relationship breakthroughs, having pets, learning to remodel, patience, walks around the neighborhood, baking catastrophes, starting traditions, bringing children home from the hospital -- just to name a few.

Five houses later and I understand completely, it's my most favorite people, my family, that make our house a home. It doesn't matter where, if they're filling the spaces with their laughter, music, and words I am home. I'm exactly where I want to be.


This. This is my home. All snuggled up in bed reading a book together.

52 photo project | weeks 42-45

week 45 | A sweet escape
Everything about this day felt magical to me, like it was just the two of us exploring a new place for the first time. It was exactly what I needed, the perfect escape from the minutia of my day, and when we parted reality was that much sweeter.


week 44 | what inspires you right now?
Winters can be particularly hard for me. It's cold, often ugly and I have a hard time navigating through the barren months when all I feel like doing is hibernating. I've had to push myself to get outdoors and appreciate what the world has to offer so I've been taking walks (the warmer weather has helped) and finding myself inspired in the process.


week 43 | revisit (week 1 nourish)
Prayer is the one thing that can make a day go from empty to full. It is the daily nourishment that keeps me whole.


week 42 | a love note
I was lucky enough to be the recipient of this delightful love note. I love his creations.

52 photo project | weeks 40 | where I lay my head down

some of my most cherished memories happen here -- where I lay my head
life altering conversations
needed touch
late night/early morning cuddles with little ones
lessons from a good book
middle of the night ideas (always keep a pencil and notebook handy)
delicious sleep

i love this little corner of my world.

52 photo project | weeks 28-39

I have, for far too long, wanted to resume my participation in Bella's 52 photo project. Since I take photos everyday, I have always loved photo challenges like this that help me think differently about the world I see and push myself creatively.

It was quite interesting as I searched through the prompts from the last ten weeks I've missed, I have actually been playing along this whole time I just didn't realize it. In fact, many of them I've already shared on my blog which is why I just shared a link.


week 39 | color with emotion
When I think of color January seems to be furthest from my mind -- I'm usually mourning the lack of color all month long. However, this January has been different and the grey hasn't seemed to penetrate my days like it usually does. Instead we've had some beautiful sunsets greeting us good evening and I've been grateful for each and every one.


week 38 | close up
week 37 | day one


week 36 | what will you leave behind?
Self doubt -- it does not belong in my life or in 2012


week 35 | Just one picture (2011 favorite)
This was almost impossible for me to choose, but one of the most memorable part of 2011 was our trip to California and taking my girls to the beach for their very first time.

week 34 | holiday sweets
week 33 | colors of the season
week 32 | twinkling lights
week 31 | giving thanks
week 30 | something borrowed
week 29 | Aqua a or Aqua b
week 28 | trick or treat

Remember it's never to late to jump in and play along. Go here for more details.

Have a great evening!

52 photo project | update

I'm a little behind posting my 52 photo project photos, if you can call six weeks a little behind. I've really enjoy participating in a challenge that pushes me to think creatively and I'm especially fond of one word prompts. It's like free association, but with photos--everyone has a different interpretation.

Remember it's never to late to jump in and join. Go here for more info.


week 22 & 23 | red & fence
took this using my iphone and instagram.


week 24 | circle
went around the city in search of circles.


week 26 | autumn color
We were in the canyon four times last week. It's so sad what a difference a week makes. The color is all over the ground now.


week 27 | look up
You know when you're out playing and you're having so much fun you don't notice how dark it's gotten? Well, that exactly what happen this evening, all of us playing after dinner, suddenly realizing we could no longer see the other. There was barely enough light in the sky, but we managed to enjoy it til it was gone.

52 photo project | weeks 21 | words & pictures

52 photo project | weeks 20 | this place is quiet

You'd think now with the kids in school I would have loads of quiet time, but even though they're not home and I'm actually alone, I've got so much to do that I never really think of it as quiet.



One of the places I retreat to when I need peace is the great outdoors. There really is just something so soothing about the peace that comes from being surrounded by God's beautiful creations. I guess you could say it's the perfect combination for me to think and sort through all the stuff jumbled in my head. One by one pieces start to make sense, and the ones that don't, well, at least it's stopped nagging me for a while.

For this reason alone my New Hampshire trip, which is quickly approaching, couldn't be better timed. I leave Tuesday and couldn't be more excited to spend a week in the woods in a non-heated cabin (hello fall weather) soaking in all the goodness with lovely friends.

I admit, up to this point, I've been a little hesitant to go. I've just got so much going on and you know how it is trying to make sure everyone is well taken care of at home. It was all seeming too much, but then when some big projects finally came and went this past week I could see so clearly the wisdom in my decision to go. I need it. I need some quiet, some time to think. I need a little break from my daily routine to remember why I enjoy it so much. And really what could be better than fall weather, the woods, and my camera?

xo

52 photo project | weeks 18 | Silhouette

52 photo project | weeks 15-17

Trying to catching up a little with the 52 photo project that I've been participating in.

Week 15 | Vintage

[iphone image taken with instagram]

Week 16 | reflection


Week 17 | black & white

52 photo project | week 14 | chocolate

Somehow chocolate has become a part of my everyday. It use to just be a Sunday thing, but has quickly turned into an everyday craving. Honestly I don't think a day goes by that I don't have a piece in one form or another. Today it was these m&ms, yesterday it was a bite of Bella's snickers, and the day before that it was 2 squares from a ritter sport dark chocolate bar. mmmmm my mouth is watering. I do prefer the premium stuff, but some days, like today, I will take whatever I have on hand.

I tried to get off it when I stopped eating sugar a few months ago. Remember? The first few days were so so difficult, but slowly I was able to ween myself from the everyday treat. In all that time what I figured out was that I missed it and there wasn't a good reason not to have it. After all a little bit never hurt anybody. So now I'm back on & happy as ever.

Are you a chocolate lover too?

52 photo project | week 12 | summer treat

Always such a busy time right when you get back from being out of town. This week has all been about getting laundry done and getting back into our routines that I haven't had a chance to even upload all my photos, let alone have a look through them.


[self portrait using camera timer]

This photo, however, did catch my eye as I recall what a happy day it was for all of us to be together, blissfully unaware of what was going on elsewhere, making sand castles at the beach. It was definitely a treat--the best kind of treat I can think of.

Looking forward to sharing it all with you.

Have a great weekend!

52 photo project | week 11 | in the garden

this weeks prompt gave me the perfect excuse to step away from all my "have tos" and find much needed peace and clarity in my surroundings. i don't know why i don't think to go explore more often--does the trick every time.

52 photo project | week 10 | the blue hour

The Blue Hour is the transition between day and night; the period of time just before night and just before morning in which the light touches the earth.

*******************************************************

Yesterday was one those loud sort of days where I couldn't wait for the night to come and the noise to settle. I finally got the girls situated inside and slip out the back door for some "me" time. I just needed a bit of peace and calm and I got it at the edge of my yard. As I sat on our swing, gently swaying back and forth overlooking the valley and watching the sun fall from the sky, I started putting the pieces back together that had lost it's way throughout the day.

and then I went and played in it.

52 photo project | week 09 | a word that decribe you

I can't say this word describes me right now, but it's definitely what I aspire to and desire to become--fully giving all of myself.

52 photo project | week 08 | outside the window

Adam and I sat watching the moon rise above the mountain outside our window as we attempted to escape the heat of the day. We let the rustling of the leaves and passerby-ers provide the only noise as we enjoyed the view, the cool breeze, and each other. Eventually, as our eyes felt too heavy to stand, we made our way inside and said goodnight to a busy day.

52 photo project | week 07 | heart

not a moment will be lost as long as we have heart & voice to speak & we will walk again together with a thousand others & a thousand more & on & on until there is no one among us who does not know the truth: there is no future without love.

~storypeople

52 photo project | week 06 | memory

It doesn't take long these days with social media around to get the word out, unfortunately it was not good news this time. I found out today my older brother's friend died yesterday in a plane crash. Knowing too well the loss that my high school friend is now experiencing for her brother has brought some very tender feelings back to my heart.

When my brother died there was a part of me that longed to go back in time when life was effortless and my world simple. When I didn't know the pain of loss and how it could devastate you. When I didn't have to think or concern myself with what came next I could just walked outside my door and a world was waiting to be created.

Sigh.



Those were the days, the carefree summers nights playing games with the neighborhood kids, our annual fourth of july swimming and fireworks with my cousins, riding horses in Star Valley, fishing, jumping in Lake Powell to cool off, playing star wars with my brother, sleeping in my doorway to feel the swamp cooler breeze, playing house in my tree house, walking to the dairy to get ice-cream, summer chores, sleepovers....etc. etc.

I can never go back to those innocent years and simpler times (honestly I don't want to), but I am grateful those memories have stayed with me long after other ones have faded because it's those carefree moments of running through the grass barefoot without a care in the world that have become a source of comfort and a continual reminder to me to let go, to not fear, to live with abandon--and heaven knows I need reminders.

I know life is fragile, and while I think we should continually keep our eyes focus on the now, our happy memories can be a source of peace and play a part in helping keep us on our desired course and live the life we always dreamed we would as a child. When you're a child anything is possible, why should we forget that now that we've long grown out of our childhood?

We shouldn't.

xo

52 photo project | week 05 | water

52photosproject

52 photo project | week 04 | ray of light

[bella & whitney at nanas | may 2011]

"a simple ray of light can break into a world of darkness and illuminate it."-unknown

their joyous laughter
their good morning hugs
their thoughtful cards
their "i love yous"
their contagious smiles
their funny phrases
their goodnight kisses
their unconditional love are all pieces of light they share with me each day making my day that much brighter. The joy and richness they bring to my life are immeasurable and far beyond what I ever thought possible when I was innocently daydreaming with my friends over summer break.

Where light is you will find no darkness--my life is full of light. I am grateful to my four for making it so.