illusion

if you hold on to the handle, she said, it's easier to maintain the illusion of control. but it's more fun if you let go & just let the wind carry you.

~storypeople

 

Have a great weekend! xo

canyonlands

The campsite Devils Kitchen in Canyonlands National Park lived up to it's name. Not only was it treacherous to get to, it was a balmy 102 degrees. I admit, when we first started off on this adventure I wasn't sure we were going to make it out alive, let alone with our Land Rover intact. I'm happy to report, we did both and it was a fabulous jeeping/camping trip in Southern Utah. The campsite was absolutely breathtaking and the hike to slot canyon, a lot of fun. I was happy I made it all the way through the slot -- quite the challenge and not to be attempted by anyone who's claustrophobic.

Moab is like no where else on earth. I look forward to going back.











































Go here to see more photos. :)

squam art workshops | june 2012 | part two

Remember how absolutely blessed you are to have this woman in your life? Remember the part she played in getting you on the road you know you were meant to follow? Remember how she looked into your eyes two years ago and you knew you were enough, that you belonged? Remember how much you love her?


Remember how excited you were to teach? How many hours you spent preparing, and how long you had thought about that moment? It was everything you dreamed it would be, remember? Absolutely everything you wanted. 


Remember what it felt like to meet your class for the first time as they trickled in after lunch? How willing and eager you all were to be there and learn together? You couldn't have asked for a better group of women. You loved every minute of it.

Remember how 3 hours (1st half of class) passed way too quickly and you wanted to slow it all down because the experience was moving way too fast?



Remember how much you enjoyed getting to know them and by the end of the second day you wanted to meet up with them again? I hope and pray our paths cross in the future.



Remember walking back to your cabin with a skip in your step, a twinkle in your eye, elated, feeling like absolutely anything was possible?

Remember the words, if you're prepared you need not fear? How very true those words are.



Remember how you covered yourself with bug spray because the mesquites were merciless? Luckily the spray Jill let you borrow was the nice smelling natural kind. Thanks Jill.

Remember how you missed your friends, Jenica and Amy who brought you there?



Remember how you sat at dinner long after everyone had left talking with Tory and Thea about photography? What we wanted, possible changes, our goals, and personal projects. You loved how quickly the conversation meandered toward meaningful things. Remember how it felt to walk away closer then when you began?



Remember listening to cute Alena and Maya talking about their recent book publications? They are both amazing inspiring woman.

Remember how Michelle and Jen and Elizabeth and Lauren popped up everywhere? How they were willing to do any and everything for you to make your experience magical? They did so much work before, during, and after to make squam absolutely wonderful. THANK YOU!!

Remember when you walked in on the girls, my cabin-mates, learning to belly dance? How could you forget how effortlessly Fiona was able to do the shimmy.



Remember sitting on the couch crocheting a hat, that ended up way too big, talking to Thea late into the night? How your conversion passed all the niceties, the pleasantries, and went straight inside? How you went to bed feeling like she understood you a little better and vice versa? How you're convinced you were always meant to be friends. Remember what you love most about squam? How it brings you together, your walls come down, and you leave fuller than when you came.



Remember how your prayer was answered? How He provided the opportunity?

Remember how you only regretted one thing about the whole trip -- not taking a photo of your class. I guess I was just too much in the moment that I missed it.





Remember how great it felt to sit on the dock and chat in the sun? How you couldn't bear to get in the cold water again, but how refreshing it was just to put your feet in? Remember thinking it was a perfect way to spend a carefree Saturday afternoon when all your work was done. You loved watching Cal work and getting to know her and the lovely Jen Gray, Tory, Jonatha, Jessica, Rebecca, and Helene better.


[photo by tory williams]

Remember how Tory and you left to take photos with her film camera in the white bathtub? It was so dark in the bathroom you were surprised she was able to get a clear picture. You still haven't seen the film, but love the digital ones she took. She has an amazing eye.

Remember how much she loved your home town and how you wanted to take her home with you? How her curly hair matched her happy countenance. Remember days before you barely new her name and now you couldn't imagine her not in your life? Love this girl.





Remember after dinner playing on the dock with Thea, attempting to capture the fading light and then messing around taking self portraits? You definitely found a kindred spirit.





Remember how great the art fair was Saturday night and how amazingly talented all the artist were? Remember how you wished you could have bought one of each?


Remember sitting in Tory's room with Thea chatting and laughing while they both packed. Remember how you wished Saturday had not come so quickly, but grateful to have met and had squam to get to know one another.


[instagrams]

Remember walking out of the dock Sunday morning to say goodbye until September, but instead felt compelled to write? You were only okay to leave because you knew you'd be back.

Remember how you shared a plane ride with Helene and she was the last person from squam you got to say goodbye t?

Remember sitting on the plane thinking how truly amazing it is to see friendships forming and feel like they were always there just waiting for you all to find each other?

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Squam has this way of opening me in places I've been afraid to unlock and filling me up in ways I never knew I was empty. Every time I leave I have always felt a better version of myself -- ready and able to face the road ahead.

Go here to see my squam photos in full.

squam art workshops | june 2012 | part one

I've been sitting with my thoughts for over a week now hoping the words would begin to flow and I would be able to adequately express what this experience meant to me. I suppose it's always hard to attempt to sum up an experience that is so near and dear to your heart in words. When something touches your core there are no words that can possibly do it justice, but I attempt nevertheless because I long to remember.

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Remember how calm you felt as you boarded the plane?

Remember how you felt on the shuttle talking to the driving Joe? Butterflies in your stomach as you made your way to the lake and he told you all about his artist son who just graduated from school, his daughter who's married -- he said he finally felt like his kids had moved on. He rambled on keeping you company as you enjoyed the green landscape.

Remember what it felt like to pull up to Brae Cove again and put your luggage in the same room? Time stood still as you walked in the living room and took it all in -- the smell, the warmth -- and remembered what it was like back in September. You had this moment of panic wondering how this experience would compare to last fall (it was so amazing) and then you realized it would be exactly what it needed to be -- and it was.





Remember what it was like seeing Elizabeth for the first time after all those months? You were suppose to meet Lauren to get your materials, but there she was, walking out of the dining hall to welcome the "new arrival". When you saw her you couldn't wait, but ran out to her. She gave you a big squeeze and said, I didn't know it was you I was coming to greet. Remember you couldn't stop smiling? It felt good to be with her again.



Remember when Elizabeth asked all the instructors, on the spot, to share with everyone (the group of 200) their favorite most inspiring teacher? There were several names you could have picked, but it was Adam that kept coming to your mind. Of all the things in your life you could learn he has taught you about some of the most important -- love and sacrifice.





Remember that first night sitting around the fire meeting all the other woman in your cabin? They were all teachers and you loved learning what each of them specialized in. There are some seriously creative people out there -- I'm grateful to know a few more of them.



Remember being thrilled to share a room with the uber talented Helene?  You met her last fall and was grateful to be able to get to know her even better. She has such a delightful french accent too.

Remember the sound of rain gently hitting against the roof as you drifted off the sleep?

[instagrams]

Remember watching Thea walk out of breakfast with that big smile on her face ready to teach her class? As you watched her go you couldn't help, but wonder what that would feel like to you to be heading toward your class the next day. Remember watching her go you never thought you would leave Sunday feeling like she had been missing from your life.

Remember having Thursday to yourself and going for a run after breakfast to clear your head and get the day of travel off you? It was a beautiful run full of oxygen. Can't believe how little there is at home.



Remember that run is what tempted you to get in the, I don't know, 50 degree lake? It was freezing, but I was so warm I was willing to go for it. I think Jill, who was on the dock knitting, must have thought I was insane, mostly because I was taking self portraits.



Remember what it as like meeting Tory, the wedding photographer that was the videographer for the week, for the first time? You're not sure you made such a good impression as you asked her to please stay away from you with her video camera. You should have known by her response that you would end up friends by weeks end.





Remember the first time you heard Time by Jonatha Brooke and you were speechless? Jonatha sat in the cabin all afternoon, as you were reviewing your class and making some last minute adjustments, getting ready for her performance that night. When she sings, she shines.

Remember when you and Jen Gray helped her, Jonatha, with her presentation and listened to the stories of her mom while laughing and crying? Loosing a loved one definitely has a way of connecting and bonding you together -- funny how so many of us have been touched by it.



Remember how fabulous her show was? How she made you think about what is most important in life? She is an amazing storyteller.



Remember when you talked to Adam and gave him the highlights and he mentioned ever so slightly to look for something in the mail? Even with his best efforts of sending the package the week before it didn't make it in time. It finally did show up at home the Thursday after you got back. In it was summer shoes, a mixed cd full of good music, and a little note. you are so blessed.

Remember sitting around the fire thinking you should go and get your camera, but getting so pulled into the conversation you never did?

Remember, before the group photo at Long House Friday morning, playing with the gorgeous east light and taking self portraits with Alena and Thea and how much they made you laugh? You don't know why you still find it amazing how quickly connections can form for the smallest of encounters.





Remember the warmth and the sun? There were moments of rain, but for the most part it was sunny and perfect.

Remember seeing your classroom space for the first time? After the group photo you began to set up your room so you would be ready after lunch. It was a great space, much darker than you had anticipated, but cozy nevertheless.





Remember all the little goodies scattered throughout?







Remember walking back slowly to your cabin taking pictures along the way enjoying your surroundings, the sounds and smell of squam lake? I loved having more time to roam and enjoy where I was before moving onto the next thing.


to be continued...