while i wait

There are times I have a book with me to fill the passing of time while I wait, but it's always more enjoyable to wait with my camera. Took these at 9am yesterday while waiting for our swim car pool to arrive.

sorry so many photos, had a hard time choosing...

monocromatic

I went looking for color. I'm thinking maybe the key in the bleakness of January is to have a fresh bouquet of flowers livening up my house. I've struggled more this January with the grayness and I've realized it's color I've been missing.

Strange though, when I went to edit my photos, it was the richness of the textures and not the colors that spoke to me.

frost

it was so beautiful to wake up yesterday morning to a delicate layer of frost covering everything in site. There are only a few things that would get me out of my cozy bed on a winter morning to brave the freezing cold...that was one of them.

muted version

The last four days have all been a little too much for me. I suppose all this home time, which normally I savor as much as possible, has given me more time to just sit and think than I've had in the last month or so. There's definitely something to be said for, keeping yourself busy. I didn't realize until this weekend how busy I've become so I didn't have to think about things that hurt on the inside.

It makes me think about something I read on Kelly Rae's blog a week or so ago, brave in sadness means sitting with our tender spots and vulnerabilities. it means facing the direction of our fear and inching our way through it to the other side. it means expressing our broken pieces with absolute courage, whether in writing, conversation, or art. it means seeing the light of possibility in our disappointments. it means giving our sadness a rightful voice, listening to it, and allowing it to birth experiences we need in our lives.

So it's what I did, "give my sadness a rightful voice". Unfortunately I didn't sleep well last night, but my early hour gave me the opportunity to get up with the sun. I ventured out of my house for the first time in days attempting to shoot away my mood. It's been far too long since I've been roaming around my yard looking for goodness and here is what I found...







and the b&w version because I couldn't decide


















I knew even in my vulnerable state that taking pictures would work. It helps me think clearly, brings me back to reality, and helps me remember what I have and what I've been given. More than anything I think I just needed a day to get it out, what I fondly call the crazy lady, and now I'm feeling myself again. Of course I'd love a little bit of normalcy (praying Adam, Bella, and I will stay healthy), and have hope that it's just around the corner.