wish i could take you there...

You know if I was a better writer I would be able to share Squam with you in a way that would make you feel like you were there with me. I suppose that's how I found photography in the first place because i needed a way to express what I couldn't say in words. Squam has always been that, an experience too close to me that words cannot do it justice.

I wish I could take you all there. We'd swim in the cool lake till we couldn't stand it any longer. We'd sit on the dock laughing and talking with other woman about anything and everything. We'd get lost walking along the paths on our way to class. We'd sit for a spell and listen to the birds, the crickets, the rustling of the leaves, and acorns descending to the ground. We'd clear our mind with yoga. We'd meet new woman who quickly felt like old friends. We'd sit by the fire eating chocolate and telling stories. We'd participate in silly, photo reenactment games. We'd feel free and open to whatever the week had in store for us.

Instead of sharing photos, in the traditional sense, I made a video/slideshow of my experience at Squam a couple weeks ago. One of my goals this year was to learn to make videos. Sigh. I have so much to learn, 1) being actually taking the videos. I'm still in photograph mode. Anyway, here is my first of, I hope, many creations.



squam love | fall 2012 from amy gretchen on Vimeo.

The days I've spent walking the woods surrounded with these woman have made such an impact on me. They have truly touched my life for good and how grateful I am our paths crossed. The strength I've come home with after each session is helping me get closer to the woman I'm striving to be. Thank you for being apart of my story.

But don't take my work for it, come! Come and see how SquamArtWorkshops can change you?

see more photos from squam here.

12of12 | September | iphone version

[click here to enlarge]

01. The farm house I spent the night in.
02. Slowly waking up at the farm with seven other beauties and the promise of an excellent day ahead.
03. More farm. I couldn't get enough of this place and want to steal away there for an entire summer. Love it!
04. Went out running with Thea and came across this killer barn.
05. This huge wooden table in the dinning room was full of drawings, writings, and names. I could have spent hours reading.
06. If these walls could talk. The farm was just as magical on the inside and it was on the outside and I couldn't help but wonder what it has witnessed over the years.
07. Went to the fabric/yarn store with Thea, Allison, and Cal to get fabric for a skirt I'd be making in Cal's class. You'd be impressed, I choose something in under 5 minutes. A record, I believe for me, when shopping for fabric.
08. I couldn't imagine a more perfect greeting than to be welcomed by my dear friends Tingle and Maya as I checked in at Squam Art Workshops.
09. A gathering of woman. Really we're keeping ourselves busy while waiting for the dining hall to open for dinner.
10. I'm a huge fan of all the different cameras I see with all these amazingly creative woman.
11. Walking through the woods -- it really is magical there.
12. Our first of many meals together. It's not just about food, it's about being together.

Posting this now makes me miss everyone that much more.  :)

Again, I'm sorry for my delay! There is just no way I could have made it work with my spotty wireless connection. I can be sitting right next to my modem and it has me on 3G. Can't figure it out. Hopefully my new phone, yep the iphone5 is ordered and soon to be on it's way, will fix the issue.

Anyway, it feels good to be back and reconnecting. I hope you all had an enjoyable day shooting.

xo g

squam art workshops | june 2012 | part two

Remember how absolutely blessed you are to have this woman in your life? Remember the part she played in getting you on the road you know you were meant to follow? Remember how she looked into your eyes two years ago and you knew you were enough, that you belonged? Remember how much you love her?


Remember how excited you were to teach? How many hours you spent preparing, and how long you had thought about that moment? It was everything you dreamed it would be, remember? Absolutely everything you wanted. 


Remember what it felt like to meet your class for the first time as they trickled in after lunch? How willing and eager you all were to be there and learn together? You couldn't have asked for a better group of women. You loved every minute of it.

Remember how 3 hours (1st half of class) passed way too quickly and you wanted to slow it all down because the experience was moving way too fast?



Remember how much you enjoyed getting to know them and by the end of the second day you wanted to meet up with them again? I hope and pray our paths cross in the future.



Remember walking back to your cabin with a skip in your step, a twinkle in your eye, elated, feeling like absolutely anything was possible?

Remember the words, if you're prepared you need not fear? How very true those words are.



Remember how you covered yourself with bug spray because the mesquites were merciless? Luckily the spray Jill let you borrow was the nice smelling natural kind. Thanks Jill.

Remember how you missed your friends, Jenica and Amy who brought you there?



Remember how you sat at dinner long after everyone had left talking with Tory and Thea about photography? What we wanted, possible changes, our goals, and personal projects. You loved how quickly the conversation meandered toward meaningful things. Remember how it felt to walk away closer then when you began?



Remember listening to cute Alena and Maya talking about their recent book publications? They are both amazing inspiring woman.

Remember how Michelle and Jen and Elizabeth and Lauren popped up everywhere? How they were willing to do any and everything for you to make your experience magical? They did so much work before, during, and after to make squam absolutely wonderful. THANK YOU!!

Remember when you walked in on the girls, my cabin-mates, learning to belly dance? How could you forget how effortlessly Fiona was able to do the shimmy.



Remember sitting on the couch crocheting a hat, that ended up way too big, talking to Thea late into the night? How your conversion passed all the niceties, the pleasantries, and went straight inside? How you went to bed feeling like she understood you a little better and vice versa? How you're convinced you were always meant to be friends. Remember what you love most about squam? How it brings you together, your walls come down, and you leave fuller than when you came.



Remember how your prayer was answered? How He provided the opportunity?

Remember how you only regretted one thing about the whole trip -- not taking a photo of your class. I guess I was just too much in the moment that I missed it.





Remember how great it felt to sit on the dock and chat in the sun? How you couldn't bear to get in the cold water again, but how refreshing it was just to put your feet in? Remember thinking it was a perfect way to spend a carefree Saturday afternoon when all your work was done. You loved watching Cal work and getting to know her and the lovely Jen Gray, Tory, Jonatha, Jessica, Rebecca, and Helene better.


[photo by tory williams]

Remember how Tory and you left to take photos with her film camera in the white bathtub? It was so dark in the bathroom you were surprised she was able to get a clear picture. You still haven't seen the film, but love the digital ones she took. She has an amazing eye.

Remember how much she loved your home town and how you wanted to take her home with you? How her curly hair matched her happy countenance. Remember days before you barely new her name and now you couldn't imagine her not in your life? Love this girl.





Remember after dinner playing on the dock with Thea, attempting to capture the fading light and then messing around taking self portraits? You definitely found a kindred spirit.





Remember how great the art fair was Saturday night and how amazingly talented all the artist were? Remember how you wished you could have bought one of each?


Remember sitting in Tory's room with Thea chatting and laughing while they both packed. Remember how you wished Saturday had not come so quickly, but grateful to have met and had squam to get to know one another.


[instagrams]

Remember walking out of the dock Sunday morning to say goodbye until September, but instead felt compelled to write? You were only okay to leave because you knew you'd be back.

Remember how you shared a plane ride with Helene and she was the last person from squam you got to say goodbye t?

Remember sitting on the plane thinking how truly amazing it is to see friendships forming and feel like they were always there just waiting for you all to find each other?

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Squam has this way of opening me in places I've been afraid to unlock and filling me up in ways I never knew I was empty. Every time I leave I have always felt a better version of myself -- ready and able to face the road ahead.

Go here to see my squam photos in full.

squam art workshops | june 2012 | part one

I've been sitting with my thoughts for over a week now hoping the words would begin to flow and I would be able to adequately express what this experience meant to me. I suppose it's always hard to attempt to sum up an experience that is so near and dear to your heart in words. When something touches your core there are no words that can possibly do it justice, but I attempt nevertheless because I long to remember.

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Remember how calm you felt as you boarded the plane?

Remember how you felt on the shuttle talking to the driving Joe? Butterflies in your stomach as you made your way to the lake and he told you all about his artist son who just graduated from school, his daughter who's married -- he said he finally felt like his kids had moved on. He rambled on keeping you company as you enjoyed the green landscape.

Remember what it felt like to pull up to Brae Cove again and put your luggage in the same room? Time stood still as you walked in the living room and took it all in -- the smell, the warmth -- and remembered what it was like back in September. You had this moment of panic wondering how this experience would compare to last fall (it was so amazing) and then you realized it would be exactly what it needed to be -- and it was.





Remember what it was like seeing Elizabeth for the first time after all those months? You were suppose to meet Lauren to get your materials, but there she was, walking out of the dining hall to welcome the "new arrival". When you saw her you couldn't wait, but ran out to her. She gave you a big squeeze and said, I didn't know it was you I was coming to greet. Remember you couldn't stop smiling? It felt good to be with her again.



Remember when Elizabeth asked all the instructors, on the spot, to share with everyone (the group of 200) their favorite most inspiring teacher? There were several names you could have picked, but it was Adam that kept coming to your mind. Of all the things in your life you could learn he has taught you about some of the most important -- love and sacrifice.





Remember that first night sitting around the fire meeting all the other woman in your cabin? They were all teachers and you loved learning what each of them specialized in. There are some seriously creative people out there -- I'm grateful to know a few more of them.



Remember being thrilled to share a room with the uber talented Helene?  You met her last fall and was grateful to be able to get to know her even better. She has such a delightful french accent too.

Remember the sound of rain gently hitting against the roof as you drifted off the sleep?

[instagrams]

Remember watching Thea walk out of breakfast with that big smile on her face ready to teach her class? As you watched her go you couldn't help, but wonder what that would feel like to you to be heading toward your class the next day. Remember watching her go you never thought you would leave Sunday feeling like she had been missing from your life.

Remember having Thursday to yourself and going for a run after breakfast to clear your head and get the day of travel off you? It was a beautiful run full of oxygen. Can't believe how little there is at home.



Remember that run is what tempted you to get in the, I don't know, 50 degree lake? It was freezing, but I was so warm I was willing to go for it. I think Jill, who was on the dock knitting, must have thought I was insane, mostly because I was taking self portraits.



Remember what it as like meeting Tory, the wedding photographer that was the videographer for the week, for the first time? You're not sure you made such a good impression as you asked her to please stay away from you with her video camera. You should have known by her response that you would end up friends by weeks end.





Remember the first time you heard Time by Jonatha Brooke and you were speechless? Jonatha sat in the cabin all afternoon, as you were reviewing your class and making some last minute adjustments, getting ready for her performance that night. When she sings, she shines.

Remember when you and Jen Gray helped her, Jonatha, with her presentation and listened to the stories of her mom while laughing and crying? Loosing a loved one definitely has a way of connecting and bonding you together -- funny how so many of us have been touched by it.



Remember how fabulous her show was? How she made you think about what is most important in life? She is an amazing storyteller.



Remember when you talked to Adam and gave him the highlights and he mentioned ever so slightly to look for something in the mail? Even with his best efforts of sending the package the week before it didn't make it in time. It finally did show up at home the Thursday after you got back. In it was summer shoes, a mixed cd full of good music, and a little note. you are so blessed.

Remember sitting around the fire thinking you should go and get your camera, but getting so pulled into the conversation you never did?

Remember, before the group photo at Long House Friday morning, playing with the gorgeous east light and taking self portraits with Alena and Thea and how much they made you laugh? You don't know why you still find it amazing how quickly connections can form for the smallest of encounters.





Remember the warmth and the sun? There were moments of rain, but for the most part it was sunny and perfect.

Remember seeing your classroom space for the first time? After the group photo you began to set up your room so you would be ready after lunch. It was a great space, much darker than you had anticipated, but cozy nevertheless.





Remember all the little goodies scattered throughout?







Remember walking back slowly to your cabin taking pictures along the way enjoying your surroundings, the sounds and smell of squam lake? I loved having more time to roam and enjoy where I was before moving onto the next thing.


to be continued...

seeing the everyday

[september 2006]

I'm sharing this photo with you today because it was this moment I started seeing life from behind my lens. We were walking to the car after an afternoon of fun at the school carnival and I urged my girls to sit on the hillside so I could take their picture. My objective was to get a lovely picture of the three of them, together, smiling, and what I got was this -- Bella sitting austere, seemingly unaware of the other two who were busy freaking out about a fly (Tess is attempting to swat at it, not trying to hit Megan).

After going through my contact sheet of the photographs I took that afternoon the photo above is what stood out to me. It depicted so perfectly the story of what our life was like on a regular basis. It was REAL and I loved it. It was then I realized I want to capture life as it's happening. I want the good and the ugly. I want the crazy hair and the mismatched clothes. I want the family games, evening with friends, and the unbridled laughter. I want the snuggles and the quiet moments. I want the morning light streaming in from my window and our faces first thing in the morning. I want the messy house and what it's like inside our car on the way to get ice-cream. I wanted to capture us.

And it was all of that, that lead me here.

Next year, 2012, I'm going to be teaching a photography class at Squam Art Workshops.

pause :: do a little dance

It's called Seeing the Everyday. I'll be teaching in New Hampshire in June and September, and in Outer Banks North Carolina in October.

I don't even have the words to try and explain what this means to me. I've wanted this. I've been working toward this, to be able to share with you my passion for really seeing life, and to finally have it within reach, I am speechless.

All I have in my heart this morning is gratitude. Gratitude for those who got me and saw my vision. Gratitude for those who helped me get to where I am today. Gratitude for God's hand in my life. Gratitude for my family for inspiring me. Gratitude to be given the opportunity to share something important to me. Gratitude for my three girls (Hannah, Jenica, and Amy) who got my ball rolling. Gratitude for those who saw in me what I could not see in myself. Gratitude for the support and encouragement from people like you.

Thank you.

I would love more than anything to see you there. Come. Let's play with our cameras together. Squam is a life changing experience you will take with you for the rest of your life. I know. It has changed mine forever.

xoxo
amy gretchen