I don't remember reading that quote in Eat Love Pray, but when I saw the movie last night that line jumped out at me and I found myself thinking about it long after I went home. So it was no surprise to me in church today when all the talks had something to do with change. More specifically how there is "no growth without change".
When the speaker said those words I looked over at Adam sitting on the stand and for the first time in while, felt hope. Adam and I have been feeling disconnected for awhile now. It started slowly enough, like all things do, and then one day you wake up and realize we are missing and I'm left to wonder where did we go? And how did we allow us to get here?
I thought it was a phase, in fact, I think we both did. We were comfortable being comfortable and didn't really want to deal with the changes we were up against. Because really, we both know how much work and heartache goes into breaking down and building up. The thing is we both knew we could no longer run away and the only way for us to grow and progress and continue on the path of closeness was to go head first into the belly of the beast and work on what we had both been struggling with.
[april | 2010]
Those conversations are never easy, but it is much easier when both parties are open to it, and we were. We found time today to talk and listen. To once again reconnect and begin to rebuild. It is never an over night fix and I'm the first one to admit talking never gets you any where, but it is our start and now we're on our way to the growth and change we both know we needed.
This has been a hard year for me and I'm just now beginning to realize it's because I've resisted the need to progress and move beyond the point I came to years ago. I'm changing. That's a good thing. I repeat to myself, that's a good thing.
xxox,
amy
10 comments:
Good for yoU! marriage is hard work! and in these times, it's so easy to just let things slide and get a divorce when things don't work out! marriage is an ebb & flow, sometimes good and easy, sometimes hard and awfuL! But if you stick together, work together and have a goal in mind, you can get through ANYTHING!!!
hugs!
tara
I could have written this myself not too long ago. Making that change takes a lot of hard work, patience, and kindness... and time. But realizing you need to make that change before things get too far out of control is what's good... unfortunately, I realized too late and have been paying for it ever since, but we're working on it. You go girl!
That line from EPL has stuck to me like glue since I heard it and applies to not only my marriage but a few other areas as well. It is so hard, but the feeling of hope and resolution and the future are far better than feeling stagnant. Thank you for writing this out as you have. xoxx
xoxo
I know you don't know me from Adam (ha ha, get it?), but I really love your posts. This one especially struck a chord with me. I think you're brave for putting this out there into the blog world since so many people who read this know you (unlike me!). I for one, love all your insights, perspectives and honesty. Those reminders about marriage are always good ones. Sometimes we take for granted how comfortable we can become when we really need to take a step back and reassess. Thanks again! I love your blog!
Stephanie it's not so much being brave as it is to me being real. when i have stuff on my mind it's hard not to put it out there because when I try to write anything else it just seems false. It's all part of the process if you know what I mean. thanks for your comment. :)
Yeah, being real is a better way of putting it.
I'm so glad my sister (Britney) pointed me toward your blog. Reading your posts (even the ones of a more serious nature) leave me feeling uplifted, thoughtful and reflective. You have a gift with words and I am grateful for them. Plus, you remind me a lot of myself sometimes, which I find so therapeutic. Looking at the world through your words helps me deal better with mine, if that makes sense. You give me more courage to face a lot of my own changes in the near future. And I agree, even though I have to remind myself, change is a good thing. :o)
P.S. I love the picture.
So glad you are moving forward. So glad.
You are an amazing woman. You are real and brave and insightful and selfaware. All of these things will work in your favor as you work your way through.
Sending you and your family much love. I hope you know how grateful I am to have you as a friend.
xxox
When I read your post, I feel I'm so grateful that Franck and I could talk together and fix things up, even if talking is not enough as you say. YOu're right, we need to be "open minded" to have deep discussions... A couple who don't talk is a dead couple for me... So grateful for the gospel too, which helps us to have the same goal...
I'm happy to read that you see positive in change... Still hard for me to realize and accept that, in my life those times.. I guess it's because I'll soon turn to 30 !?
Love you and your thoughts.
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