extrememly loud

I just finished reading Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close by Jonathan Safran Foer. I heard it was excellent, but hesitated to read it after hearing it was so much like The History of Love. I really liked that book and didn't want to ruin it by trying to make a comparison.

Now all I have to say is I'm sorry I didn't read it sooner. I loved it. I thought there were so many reminders about living. Apparently this is how I judge a book, by what I take from it and how I can apply it to my life, however, this book was much more than just a simple lesson. I felt I related to the characters...each one fighting to get their life back and enjoy it despite what they felt was taken away. Somehow I understood why they took one path over another, even though at times I was disappointed with their grief. Yes, even I can see how holding onto something can slowly, bit by bit, take you away from living.

"You cannot protect yourself from sadness without protecting yourself from happiness." - Jonathan Safran Foer

A simple, but poignant lesson I learned years ago, but remind myself today how wonderful it is to feel. I remember thinking if I could just run away from the sadness, if I could just keep from having to go through experiences that hurt, but found happiness ran away with it. You cannot hold your feelings hostage one without the other. I regret so much the time that has been wasted trying to hide, so many moments lost in fear. Now I do my best to live each day present and allow myself to feel because feeling keeps me real.

Other quotes from the book I loved:

"Why are you leaving me?
He wrote, I do not know how to live.
I do not know either but I am trying.
I do not know how to try.
There were some things I wanted to tell him. But I knew they would hurt him. So i buried them and let them hurt me"


"Sometimes I can hear my bones straining under the weight of all the lives I'm not living"

what a difference a day makes

So I feel the stress lifting...

Often times all I need is about 24 hours to see the error of my ways, to regroup and remind myself there's no need to get overwhelmed. I always have my family and friends to help of which I have counted on this weekend (thanks).

While I was driving on the freeway this afternoon I wondered why in the world I allowed myself to post yesterday. First of all I didn't have time and second I had no business in my state...and then I rethought it. It's during those hours when I'm deep in it that I have no choice but to be completely honest and in turn it's those words that end up becoming some of my favorite post because there raw and real. Strangely enough I want to remember what it was like during these crazy times (hopefully to help combat it). Plus I find, and I wonder if it's like this for you, I find I often feel better once I've posted and received feedback. It's like you just need someone else to validate and then kick you in the pants...GO DO...LIVE...I am reminded.



So today amongst the things I needed to do I made sure I did something simple that would guarantee a laugh. It's snowed today and thank goodness by the afternoon the snow that accumulated melted away because I really wanted to get outside...and so we did, the girls and I ventured outside to swing. It felt good to have the wind in my hair, to feel light and free allowing the sunlight to warm me. The best part...it was an activity we could all do together. I need to make sure I get more quality time in with my girls. Nothing is more important to me than that and if I've learned one thing from Jill's blog this week it's a reminder that you never know what's on the horizon so make it great now.

Another reminder...LIVE!