1. I'm tired. I know I'm always tired, but this time I'm especially tired. For the past week or so I've fallen to sleep like a baby, but almost like clockwork I'm up at 2am. It's torture. If at some point I stop making sense you'll know why.
2. I've been concerned about this lump I found on my neck a couple weeks ago. I was confident it was an enlarged lymph node, but then that led me to wonder...
why is it enlarged. I finally got into the doctor hoping it would ease my mind...it didn't. He ended up doing some blood work because I talked about being tired for far too long. So I'm waiting for test results to come back this afternoon.
3. I watched my friend's three kids have a melt down yesterday at different times during our outing. I felt so bad for her, trying to help where I could, but knowing this was her battle (they would not listen to me). I'm glad I was there to help get them all to the car safely...I don't think she could have done it alone or I should say I don't know how she could have. When we parted ways I got in my car and thanked my girls for not acting that way. Of course Megan chimed in, "
do we get a treat". Must everything be rewarded?
4. Last few days I've been feeling a disconnect with Adam. I can't explain it really, I guess it's just one of our ebbing moments. This morning though, he came and got me off the computer at 5am-ish and brought me back to bed. We talked for a while about nothing at all. He told me to
change my 'tude (a word he hates so hearing him say it made me laugh) and that's all it took. We're flowing again. Wow that doesn't sound very good, but you know what I mean.
5. I've noticed my girls are needing me less and less. When they get home from school they're all about hard core playing together, which makes the pop-ins a little less frequent than before. It does make the times when they seek me out more meaningful. I'll end up smothering them with kisses or tickling them til they can't stand it. It also makes me realize how important eating dinner together and our bedtime rituals are.
6. Currently, my girls are waiting for their cousins to come for the day (watching my nieces because it's my SIL birthday today, Happy Birthday Amy!) while getting ready to put on a puppet show for me.
7. I'm going through a music phase. I just can't seem to get enough of what music can and will do to ones mood. I found
Elephant in the Room by Richard Walters, thanks to sytycd and google Wednesday night, and it helped kick it off.
8. I know someone who was just diagnosed with terminal cancer and given 3-5 years to live. I couldn't help but wonder if I was given that news what I would do differently today to make those years the best and most meaningful. I've started compiling a list of things I would do or focus on because there's no time like the present to start living better. It's fondly called
'things to do before 2012' (a play on Mayan culture if you will). What I found is I'm not so far off. What I mean is there aren't many things I would have hoped to experience (i.e. I don't need to go on big vacations), but I have a lot of personal work to do to become the woman I want to be and have a fulfilling life.
