i see

two girls laughing and playing as if there was no one else in the world.

i see two girls who confide in one another.

i see two girls who ask to have sleepovers with each other every night.

i see two sisters becoming the of best friends.

i see kindred spirits.

an evening together

Wednesday night I was beginning to feel like we just weren't enjoying the summer evenings like we should so we packed the kids up and headed to the park. On the way we all enjoyed a little brain freeze from "Bob's brain freeze". He has one mean snow cone with a touch of cream to make it that much more special. Seriously you never thought a snow cone could be so good.

randomness take...what number am I on?

I'm feeling sort of random today so I thought I would throw out an "amy random" post...why not? Apparently it's one of the things I do best. I'm always blurting random things (a horrible quality of mine) and trying to control my mind from racing from one thing to the next.

1. My girls have finally started swimming lessons for the summer. They are much better than I remember, but still not any where near a good swimmer. I find this very frustrating when taking them to the pool. No one is safe and I am on a constant vigilant watch (I am in the pool with them, but it's so hard to keep track of 3 alone). At the lesson today the boy in Tess' class got out and told his mom he just peed in the pool. I was sickened and seriously thought about not coming back. How often do you think that happens? ALL THE TIME is my guess. Disgusting. I hate public pools, but what's a girl to do.

2. I'm sitting at home on a fine summer afternoon with a big fat lip.


[why do i feel like this photos is not doing my crazy big lip justice. It's so much worse in person.]

I know what you're thinking...a collagen job gone terribly wrong, right? No. I just happen to finally get into the dermatologist to have my lip growth check out and he wanted to do a biopsy. Whatever anesthetic they gave me to numb the pain made my lip swell up like I had been punched in the face. I can't believe how self conscious I was walking out of the building. I felt like it was a race to get outside, get my sunglasses on, and pretend nothing looked amiss. So I can't go anywhere, I mean I can't go swimming or really be out in the sun. I can't eat right because my mouth won't open all the way and it can't be wet for 24 hours, which means I'm drinking from a straw. The blackened wound is going to be around for at least 2-4 weeks, but hopefully the black will go away. Good times you guys...good times.

3. I am doing my best not to stress about the results of my biopsy. The nurse told me the doctor would call if it's a problem (i.e. cancer or something like it) and that she would call if it's nothing to worry about. I really hope it's a woman on the other end of the phone call or I might not get through it. I'm trying hard not to freak out.

4. I've been painting the last few days. Painting my last 8x8 canvas on my wall of 4.



I had this great vision in my head, but it didn't quite come out the way I had planned. The colors are all wrong (i was trying to pick something that would go with the rest of the paintings, but from far way the pink and the orange blend) and I think it needs a little something, but I don't know what. Back to the drawing board I go to hopefully give it what it needs. Perhaps I can fix it after all.

5. Speaking of painting, I did some what I like to call "painting with light" the other day. I was playing around with my camera and took this.



Not to exciting, but I loved the flow of the colors. I think I will play some more outside later when I can face the world again. It's a combination of a slow shutter speed and moving the lens at the same time.

6. I've really been thinking about opening an etsy store lately, but I don't have a clue what I would sell. There is so much good stuff on there I can't imagine what I could contribute. The only thing unique to me is my photos so I might make them into cards, like I've done, with words and quotes and sell them. I don't know. The idea of it sort of scares me. Do you have an esty store? Have you thought of opening one?

Happy Happy Birthday Jill. I hope you have a fantabulous day!

I would have never guessed

a gaming system was in our future of girls.



I try not to let them do it too long or very often and it's always after their work is done...Lego Star Wars that is. It's definitely one of the "cooler" activities they've enjoyed doing this summer.

The game was the catalyst for my girls falling in love with Star Wars the movie. I'm not sure how I feel about it, them being so young and loving Star Wars, but at least if anything it's a classic. I have to admit I can't help but laugh each time Megan quotes Han, "Laugh it up fuzzy ball." It never gets old.

independence day

In the last two neighborhoods we've lived in we've always had some kind of fourth of July breakfast to participate in to help us get in the spirit. In our neighborhood now we also happen to have a flag ceremony, speaker, and this year again we had a dance/singing group come and perform. It's a bit sad and embarrassing to have to watch, but the oldies love it and we love them so we deal. Luckily we are able to roam around and have breakfast while it's going on.

After our crazy morning we headed to Adam's parents house for lunch and 4th of July activities which included the adults talking/playing games and the kids playing water games. Right away Megan was complaining about her stomach though she said she didn't need to throw up. I was certain she was not sick, but spent a good portion of my time lying down with her hoping she would start to feel better. It was sad to see Megan try to go play after getting encouragement from her cousins, but eventually she would make her way back to the bed.

The outdoor games...


Jared sprayed them with the water as I took the picture







While the adults played games Megan came in announcing that she was going to throw up. I did my best to get her out of there quickly before anyone else was exposed, but I just wasn't quick enough. I couldn't believe she was sick. I was hoping that wasn't the case, that she had just eating something, but it was apparent she was not feeling good. We decided to head home and leave the party behind.

So we had no choice, but to have a quiet fourth of July evening at home. Right when I thought we were putting the kids down for bed for the night, I convinced Adam to go outside and do the sparkler/fireworks we had bought and watch the ones going on around the valley.

Here is what we came up with...










And here we are lying in our backyard watching the fireworks. We saw about four different ones going off at the same time. It was very cool. After the kids went to bed Adam and I stayed outside and enjoyed the cool air. It was a fabulous 4th of July after all.

my week update

I haven't been around because frankly I've been quite busy. Some of the things I've been doing I've put on myself and others are commitments I made prior to going to Powell. Either way, blogging just hasn't fit into the equation.

So here is a bit of my randomness from the past week. Sorry for the lack of photos, but my camera sat in my studio all week waiting for me to upload and proof my lake powell photos, which I just did today.

I spent time watching my brothers little girls while Amy was having a father's daughters week. It was actually much easier than I had anticipated, but it was still one of those hands on situations were you can't do much else.

courtesy phone

One afternoon I spent 5 hours organizing and cleaning up the basement with my girls. I bought a shelf from IKEA I had initially thought would go in the basement closet, however it didn't fit so I had no choice, but to put it in the basement family room. Luckily it ended up working out better that way. After all the time, bruises on my hands that resulted from putting the bookcase together, and the unfortunate yelling that went on, I was pleased with the results. The basement looks so much better and the girls have kept it clean all week.

courtesy phone

I finally took the kids swimming for the first time this summer, which turned out to be more of a hassle than I had planned. The pool we were meant to go to was closed so we drove around trying to decided where to go next. Aargh! It was frustrating, but we eventually found a place and had a lot of fun together.

I ran what seemed like a million gazillion errands trying to catch up on life. Finally got to costco and spent way to much, on yes, only food. Bella had her violin lesson. Made a trip to the Library. Signed the kids up for swimming lessons starting Monday. Signed Tess up for a reading program for the rest of the summer to help her have more confidence this upcoming year...etc.

We celebrated my dad's 63 birthday this week. He is such an unbelievably awesome dad. I am a very lucky girl to have him in my life. Dad I love you.

I cleaned out the closet underneath our stairs I use for our 3 month food storage. It's good to finally know what's in there.

Adam and I went to dinner and a movie Thursday night. It was a spur of the moment decision so we were lucky to get a babysitter and go out. We saw Hancock and it was just alright. I do enjoy Will Smith, but the second half of the movie just wasn't as strong as the first. Afterwards we stayed up using my new waxing kit. It can be a very dangerous toy as it's quite addicting to get rid of hair.

Hope you're all enjoying your summer vacations. I hate feeling out of the blogging loop, but honestly I don't see this summer slowing down anytime soon. I can't believe it's already July.

powell

It was quite an adventure after all was said and done and I was glad I was able to go. It was my last and final activity with the girls so a nice way to go out...my last big hurrah. I have to say it was a pretty quiet trip as far as anything major happening.

While there it brought back so many fabulous childhood memories I spent at Powell and left me with the desire to bring my family back with me. I really would like to share the beautiful red rocks with my girls.

I actually skied for the first time in 11 years. I thought it would take me some time to get up, but basically it's like riding a bike...except when I was done my body didn't stop shaking for about an hour. I had forgotten how hard it is on your muscles and for the rest of my days at Powell I was rubbing and stretching to help the pain.




sp on the boat.






cramped sleeping arrangements


A favorite tradition to this day...feeding the nasty carp at the marina.


Unneeded bonfires. The evenings were so so hot.


One afternoon was spent visiting Rainbow Bridge.




Love that you can see the whole group in my glasses.


sunrise.


Navigating through the very cool Powell canyons

off again

It's so nice that I have the technology to get my emails on my phone, but it makes for sitting at my computer almost obsolete. It's been shut off since the last time I posted until yesterday when I sat down to do a few things. I have to admit it has been nice not being around it or feeling attached, but I do miss blogging. Sometimes when life is busy it's nice to reevaluate just how important something is in your life and where it stands.

So I'm off tomorrow to go to Lake Powell with our youth group. It's going to be an interesting trip to say the least seeing how I'm not one of their leaders anymore. I am looking forward to it, more than I have in the past, because I feel like it's going to be my last big activity with them. I'm not excited about the heat or the bathroom situations, but you never know it could account for some really great blogging stories when I get back.

so you don't forget us.

sp from the park a few weeks back.

have a great week.

It's been a while, I know.

I've been meaning to sit down and write something, but I've been living a working mom's life since Monday and I must say it is not glamorous. I certainly admire all you women out there raising a family and working all day. I don't know how you have any time to breathe.

All week I've been with Bella from 9-5 at the Suzuki String Institute. It's actually an amazing experience I'm so glad we decided to do this year. She has six class with fabulous very patient instructors who have devoted their life to music. She is even getting a private lesson from Michael McLean. A very cool experience for her, one that is making a huge difference with her playing & confidence.



Anyway, she's basically doing all the work, I'm sitting all day...reading, watching, etc., but by the time I get home I'm completely exhausted. Exhausted! Perhaps my messy house we haven't even been in, hungry kids waiting to be fed, and laundry that needs to be done looking back at me doesn't help. Really I don't know how to do it all with this schedule without feeling like I've worked all day. It's maddening.

So I'm blogging now, but I really shouldn't be. I should be packing for my weekend with Lori, Jill, Robyn, and Kathy, or folding laundry, or even better, sleeping so I can get through tomorrow. I guess I just couldn't resist an update. I recently got home from bookclub and going to the store to get stuff for this weekend. It's an interesting experience going to the grocery store at 12am. Have you ever done it? I don't like it. It's creepy being one of the only people wandering around a big half lite store.

Ok so I feel like I'm going to start rambling soon if I haven't started already. I guess It's time for bed. Before I go I thought I'd leave you with a photo I took last week that I feel in love with. We were all in my studio doing who knows what, can't remember, and I saw this beautiful light streaming in through my window...had to get it.



Have a great weekend.

shares & finds

1. Late last night I found this code that will block someone from rt clicking and saving your photos or any content from your blog. As far as I know it works when I try to rt click on my photos. Does it work when you try? If you want the same kind of protection just follow their instructions and put the code in the {body} portion of your blog or website.

2. One of the other reasons why I love So You Think You Can Dance, obviously I love it for the dancing, is the music finds. I loved Mia Michaels dance Wednesday night and can't figure out if it was the dance I loved or the music...I guess together they were a perfect fit. Immediately I went to my computer and purchased Beautiful by Me'Shell N'degeocello. If you ever want to find out the music they use go here and it will give you a list of the dances, choreographers, and music used. You can even see past seasons info. Very cool.

3. Wednesday and Thursday I worked on two more canvases for my wall.


inspired by elsie flannigan and paulette insall


the cupcake was inspired by eflannigan.

here's an update of my wall so far...


I am seriously enjoying this project and don't think I will stop with the four.

4. A photo I took yesterday while we lazily played outside (is that possible?). Of all the others I took it spoke summer to me...the sun streaming through her hair as the wind blew the strands about catching her laughter. It was a good summer afternoon.



The next two weeks are going to be crazy crazy for me so it's been nice not to have anything scheduled this week. The kids have had play dates and we've basically just hung out...the best way to enjoy a summer in my opinion.

Oh and this because Tess said she wanted to be "mom"...my shoes, my glasses, my book.

thoughtful wanderings

I woke up too early for a summer morning wishing I could fall back asleep, instead laid in my cozy bed listening to the hard rain hitting my window, beating down on the road. I wasn't too excited about waking up to a cold wet gray rainy day, but I did love in that moment hearing it beat down in a fury. A part of me, I have no idea why, wanted to run outside and let it soak me. I guess it's me wanting the weather to encourage my thoughtful mood that I've had for days.



It was originally brought on by my release from the YW program Sunday. I knew it was coming and yet I wasn't quite prepared when it happened. It's hard to give all you have to something, someone and then just walk away from it, handing over your binder as if the rules to the job reside. Even though part of me was ready to move on, I really wasn't and it's been hard for me to let it go. It was such a huge part of my life and it's so crazy to just walk away from it like I never knew it.

All my thoughts and emotions that have come from this one incident has me thinking about connections we make with others. Why some of them last and others fleeting? Is one of our main purposes in this world to touch the lives of those around us and when the message is sent we go our way? Subconsciously I wonder how much this is true? How much God guides us to those we need or who need us? I guess you never know when you might be needed so you live hoping you're doing your part...making a difference the way you were meant to.


"I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be." - Douglas Adams

You know I've always wanted this extraordinary life, but knew in my gut my life would be very ordinary. I always knew what I was intended to do, but I never did understand til now what that actually meant. I've searched too long thinking an extraordinary life was something big and almost unattainable when really an extraordinary life has been right in front of me the whole time. Adam and my girls bring my life meaning and make life worth living...they are my purpose here. So while my life is simple, it's mine and everything I've always wanted.

I believe it's like Sheryl Crow said, "it's not having what you want, it's wanting what you got."

live

sleeping easy

I finally did it, bought food storage. Well months ago I did and have been waiting impatiently to receive it. I feared the amount that was coming and yet I still wasn't quite prepared when a truck pulled in my driveway yesterday and delivered two pallets full.



It was a daunting task, but I was able to clean out a semi unused closet in my basement, take out the shelf, and fill it up with the food. I honestly can't believe I was able to do it and it only took me about an hour...by myself.



So now I have food. It feels good to know I am more prepared than I was yesterday, but I'm still hoping I will never in my life have need for it. My plan initially was to gradually used it and refill it, but now that I have it I don't want to go through the bother of replacing it. After all with the price of food it could cost even more, plus there's really no getting the food out of there anyway it's so packed in.

If any of you are interested I used this company. I heard good things from a few people, but honestly I've never tried the food and don't think I ever will until I absolutely need to. I do know they will send you samples in the mail to try. FYI I had been watching and thinking about doing this since last year and because of the cost of wheat and corn etc. the price keeps going up. I just looked and it's about 25% more than what it cost me.

Anyway, have a great weekend. Tomorrow I will be running/walking a 5k with my family, organized by robyn, and beginning our summer break. Yes, for us summer vacation is officially here starting today even if the weather is telling me otherwise.

creatively blah...learning from another artist

Basically I've felt sort of blah for a while now. Not really knowing what or how to "do". The not knowing tends to leave me constantly thinking, which inevitably causes me to do nothing at all. I have at some point been able to thwart my funk and taken a few photos last week, but other than that when it has come to anything remotely creative I have been empty. Yes, empty is a perfect word for it. I've definitely not had anything in me, no reserves to pull from.

Moods like these are always a bit depressing or misguided as I often run away and hide, preferably in a book, hoping that inspiration will come. And I guess at times it does, but often it keeps me focused in on other lives inside the novel and I forget about my own.

Yesterday after looking at the four blank canvases on my wall one too many times, I took them down and started to build my foundation. I pulled colors I thought would work good together, but also work with the wall color. Once I had completed the first stage (keep in mind only the first stage), I laid them to dry next to each other and the overwhelming feeling that I get sometimes started creeping in...what I saw was four seemingly blank canvases I had no ideas for.



I stopped. I left. I came back. I felt the same. Determined not to allow myself to let go so quickly I got on the computer and let one link lead to another until I found Elsie Flannigan. I must admit she has never really been an inspiration to me, not because I don't think she's fabulous or an inspiration, but because what she creates I cannot possibly relate to. My mind doesn't work the same way, so while I admire her style and creativity, I admire with jealous eyes wishing I could be, they way she is, completely unique. Then I saw this painting that caught my eye. Perhaps it was that I had made a mistake while working on my canvases and already had a green background dried and ready to go or the fact that this drawing had a camera around the subjects neck. Whatever the reason, I decided I wanted to paint it. I want to tell you I was so inspired by her that I did my own thing, but sadly that is not the way it happened. Instead I was inspired to copy her painting...from the color, to the drawing, to the design. It's not what I set out to do, but I guess I knew my mind was too full to be creative in my own right and I was so desperate to paint...I gave it a try.

It felt so good to just paint something, even if it wasn't mine, to feel like I actually knew what I was doing gave me loads of confidence. It also taught me a lot about my technique, mistakes I've made in the past, and gave me ideas. Yes, ideas. So this morning I woke up wanting to do it again so I could continue the learning process I started yesterday.



Again I pulled from Elsie so I didn't have to think where I was going next, but I could just work and learn. This is as far as I got. It's not done, at least I know I want to put cloths on the girl and some detail work, but I don't think I'll spend time finishing it. I learned again from trying, feeling the paint beneath my paint brush and realized what techniques to use and what not to do to get certain results, and so for that reason the painting is finished (seeing how I'm not going to anything with it since it's not really mine).

It feels very strange to have blatantly copied another artist, I'm not sure why I'm sharing it on my blog as it seems a bit shameful, except the fact that by doing it, it helped me, it opened my eyes. It got the paint brush in my hand and helped me move again. It got me feeling excited so now when I look at those four, now colored, canvases on my wall I'm not overwhelmed...just looking forward to playing with each one.

bathroom redo

Perhaps it doesn't seem like a big difference to you, but to me sitting at my computer knowing when I look over I'm not going to see a toilet and a busted wall staring back at me is worth all the effort. Ha! It wasn't even my effort so of course it was worth it. It was Adam's mother's day gift to me. Thanks babe.

before


after




I moved my cabinet of drawers that use to be next to my computer to where the toilet use to be and replaced the drawers in my studio with a small bookcase I bought at IKEA. The four blank 8x8 canvas you see on the wall will be my new project. I hope to get something inspiring on them this week, but realistically it will probably be weeks later.