Showing posts with label remember. Show all posts
Showing posts with label remember. Show all posts

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

18


I still remember the day the world took you back & there was never time to thank you for the thousand scattered moments you left behind to watch us while we slept. -storypeople


There was a time in my life I was certain the hurt would never go away so to wake up this morning and feel peace and gratitude that I had the privilege of knowing him for 16 years is a gift. Seeing his picture now makes me smile at the person he was, at the life he lived. I wish we could have had more time, but since that wasn't in the cards I am extremely grateful for the time we did have, how he changed my life, and to know, for certain, that I will see him again.

Friday, October 09, 2009

old photographs

Yesterday afternoon I was looking for something in my attic and ended up going through boxes of old photographs. I was up there for a good hour before I decided to bring the boxes down an make an afternoon of it. It's crazy how with each photograph I could picture where I was, who I was with, and the time in my life the photo was taken. As the flood of memories came back it was strange for me to recall each moment and wonder, was that really my life, did I do all of those things? It just seems like so much time as past between now and then.

While looking through the boxes one of the last prints I found was this...


[Washington DC December 1995, left to right: Randy, Jill, Robyn, Lori, me, and Adam]

I had forgotten how much I loved this picture until I saw it again. Not only do I love the composition (I'm not sure who took it, Jill was it a stranger?), but I enjoyed the day we spent in Washington DC and the trip I took to Maryland to visit Adam over our Christmas vacation in 1995.

I don't have all the details, I mean I can't even remember who took it, but I love how an old photograph can help you remember the days and help fill in the missing blanks. If you look closely there really is a lot of things in a photograph that can jog your memory.

1. I remember how smitten I was with Adam and how I was anticipating our 6 month separation while I would be in Jerusalem. I did not want to leave him behind.

2. I'm reminded again how much I loved his long hair.

3. I hated my hair then as I still do today. Sad, but true.

4. I remember walking a lot, it being on the cooler side (nice for a December day), going to the Van Gogh Vermeer exhibit (thanks Jill for the clarification), and eating at Planet Hollywood.

4. I think it's interesting I'm the only one not carrying a bag. I like to think my stuff was in Adam's bag, but the truth of the matter is I never bought anything. I've never been a big shopper and still have the hardest time spending money...well, that is unless I really really want it.

5. Adam and I laughed last night as we realized we just recently gave to Goodwill my shoes and his shirt (we had stop wearing it). I guess you could say I keep things for far too long. I am working on it and getting better.

6. I can see I'm wearing the necklace Adam gave me. It was made of clay with beads by a woman in Mexico. It was very rustic and charming, and well, I loved it even more since he gave it to me. I use to wear it everyday...just like the Celtic charm I wear today (remember this).

I'm so glad I stumbled upon my old box of photographs yesterday. I enjoyed what it led me to remember and I look forward to the other stories I'll uncover as I continue to search through my stash of old photos.

-What do you do with all your old photographs? I want to get mine out of the box once and for all..

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

note to self



"to the world you are person,
but to one person you are the world."
-unknown

I found this quote yesterday while flipping through one of my notebooks and it seemed to be the thing I needed to remember as I fought feelings of worthlessness. It's a hard place to be. A hard placed to come back from, but this quote really did give me perspective and reminded me that yes, I am loved. I am needed.

We all are.

Why is it so easy to be blinded by what's missing in our life to see all the good?

Monday, May 29, 2006

remembering
















Memorial day takes on a whole new meaning when you actually have someone to visit. It is something that took a while to get use to. Something I fought for a long time. Now I find peace in it. I enjoy going and reflecting. Remembering what part my brother had in my life.

I love being able to take my girls. To show and talk to them about who my brother was. It's a hard concept for both Bella and Tess to grasp and it doesn't help that they also have a cousin named after Alan, so it is best when they can visualize. It has been weird to think this all happened before they were born and quite possibly they meet him before coming to earth. I like the thought of that. That he is not a stranger to them.















The Lord's plan is very beautiful and comforting. I am grateful for it everyday. More so today than ever.

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