give me your ear...

They were interested in what I was doing all those hours on Sunday evening so I read them my talk...the parts that I could see.

The best part wasn't that they told me they liked it, but that they listened.

monday miscellany

-It's suddenly quiet now. The giggling little girls left for school and I'm finding I'm missing hearing their laughter in the distance.

-I need to know, how can loosing 1 hour make it feel like you've lost 8? I woke up this morning knowing I slept fabulously, but didn't feel rested. Instead I felt like I was making myself get out of bed at 2am. I noticed that even Adam and the girls were effected so it wasn't just me. Looking forward to my body adjusting to the time.

-I do, however, love the light in the evening. I don't enjoy loosing the light in the morning, but man do I love feeling like there's more time in the day.

-I started The Forgotten Garden last night and wish I hadn't. It captured me right away and it's all I can do not to steal away on the couch and read the day away.


-We celebrated Adam, my father-in-law Tom, and Bella's birthdays at our house on Satruday evening. Bella didn't know until a few hours before that we were celebrating her birthday as well. It was funny to see her anticipation grow even though she was already so looking forward to all the cousins coming. FYI she is the best person to give gifts to because her reaction make you feel like you gave the perfect gift...and it's usually true.

-I keep getting these strange phantom itches on my ear lobe. I still can only feel part of my left ear and absolutely no feeling on my ear lobe (not a surprise, I was told that would most likely happen). Anyway, my ear keeps itching, but when I go to itch it I can't feel it so there is no relief. It's maddening.

- I feel slightly guilty about blogging right now. I'm suppose to using these few hours while everyone's gone working on WC. I spent a good 6 hours yesterday working on it and retyping what I already have because I lost my file. Don't ask me how. Lucky for me, since it's already happened once (loosing my talk), I've been in the habit of printing it out when I leave the computer. So glad I did.


I went to lunch with my friend Dani last week, even though I wasn't expecting it, she bought me lunch for my birthday. It's always so hard to try to make lunch dates fit, but decided if you really want something you find a way. It was so good to see her, she the type of friend who always comes with a smile on her face and always makes you feel loved. Thanks for a great afternoon Dani.

-One of my new favorite things: when a bill comes in the mail, particularly a medical bill, and it says I owe $0.00.


Last Monday night for FHE we had an art lesson. The girls have been drawing a lot lately so Adam decided to give us all a lesson on vanishing points and perspective. It was very useful to me as well. It was a huge hit with the girls, in fact I've never seen them pay so much attention, even Megan kept from talking.

presenter's meeting

Thursday night I had my Woman's Conference meeting for the presenters. I've been dreading it for a couple reasons 1)it means it really is real and going to happen and 2)now I've got to really start thinking about writing my message.

I thought the meeting was very inspirational. Julie B. Beck who spoke last night said, "the most important thing that happens is what we become while preparing." And "welcome the task that makes you go beyond yourself and you will grow." I left feeling confident that I could do this and that it will be a life changing experience for me.

Then President Samuelson (president of BYU) spoke and let's just say the pressure is on. He said,
-We were carefully selected from a pool of names to be presenters at this years woman's conference. It was not a decision that they took lightly.
-A lot of sisters come seeking answers to specific questions and have chosen your class for a reason...you will be there answers.
-If you create an environment so the Holy Ghost can teach, then you'll be successful.
-We are authorized to be a great blessing in the lives of those who attend.

Next Sandra Rogers talked about the Woman's Conference theme which is "Choose ye this day to serve the Lord". I should have known, but didn't know what this years theme was and couldn't believe that it was basically my word for the year. More than anything else I saw it as a tender mercy from God and knew I was inspired more than I had originally thought to pick "choose" as my word to focus on. She said,
-Our agency is so important that God was willing to loose 1/3 of his children for it.
-We need to actively seek after the Savior.
-Our choices are infinite.
-Christ exercised His agency to do the Father's will and by doing so He chose us.
-"Wherefore, men are free according to the flesh; and all things are given them which are expedient unto man. And they are free to choose liberty and eternal life, through the great Mediator of all men, or to choose captivity and death, according to the captivity and power of the devil; for he seeketh that all men might be miserable like unto himself." -2Nephi 2:27
-Being proven is the Lord's grand test
-Help those attending feel a desire to come unto Christ by the choices they make.
-Each of us brings something to the Gospel that no one else can bring...we each have something to contribute.

When it was over I met the two other woman I'm presenting with. It was clear after reading their bios that the WC committee wanted to have a different perspective from women who were at different seasons of life. We talked about a few ideas, but agreed to take a few weeks to ponder about the topic and how we should split it up and meet again to discuss.

So I went from feeling inspired to a bit overwhelmed to inspired again. Like I said it was one of those events that helps you feel confident and full. I left feeling like there was a purpose for me and a reason for my being there. I'm so glad I attended (I'm surprised it wasn't mandatory).

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I found out my class is Friday, April 30th from 2-3pm. When I told my friends I rode up with this info they said it was a hard time. I'm thinking, ya because I have to wait through both days before I present, but then I realized they meant because no one will be there. After confirming my suspicion she said, just don't take it personally. Duly noted. So if you want to be one of the few lucky woman in the room (you know you want to) and don't want to (or can't) go to any other sessions, I can get you a ticket for $8. Let me know by April 2nd and I can order if for you.

the letter

Have you ever been asked to do something that you're not quite sure you can do and for starters you don't know how you got asked to do it in the first place, but it's the kind of thing you can't say no too?

Ya. I got asked to do something like that and it's so hard to keep the I'm not worthy and really what can I offer feelings away...

Last week I got a letter in the mail. I should have taken the letter a little more seriously after seeing the BYU symbol in the left hand corner, but I opened it as if it was junk mail. Man, how I wish it would have been junk mail. So you can imagine my utter shock when instead it was a one page letter asking me if I'd be willing to participate in Woman's Conference at the end of April as a presenter to discuss the topic: "She....Worketh Willingly with Her Hands" (Proverbs 31:13)

I know, after you've whipped the shocked look off your face let me just tell you how shocked I was when I first read it. I was literally motionless. When I was finally able to compose myself I read the letter over and over, double checking to make sure it was really address to me (it was) and then felt the panic set in. Tears welled up in my eyes and I stared pacing the house, they want me to do what? I can't do this! There are so many more woman out there who are more qualified than me that could do this. Can I do this?

Deep breath...

I just got off the phone with the woman who sent me the letter telling her, Yes, I would be willing to participate. It's a good thing I've had some time to think about this, I'm calm now and feel peaceful about the whole thing. I have a different understanding today than I did the moment I opened the letter. I've been praying for some time, over a year in fact, to find ways to use my talents for good. I know I have a desire to create for a reason and I keep searching for the answer. Whether or not this is it, perhaps part of it, I'm not sure, but I do know I cannot let this opportunity pass me up. I'm grateful for someone believing in me enough to think I could do this and grateful that I feel peaceful today knowing that I can.

That is today. I'm quite certain it will be around the middle of March when I'll start crying again and will need lots of encouragement.

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P.S. If anything (stories, talks, quotes etc...) occurs to you about that topic please email me, I would love to hear what you have to say. I've decided not to even think about this until after the big meeting at the end of this month where they give me all the details and I meet the other 2 woman I'm presenting with, but I guess it can never be too soon to start compiling ideas.