summer journals

I have, since the time I was a little girl, been taught the importance of writing in a journal. For the longest time I always thought it was only for documenting history, and while I still think journal writing can have that purpose, I have recently realized writing for me has become a lot more. I'm a thinker, I know I've told you that before, so writing has been a great way for me to sift through the thoughts floating around my head. It's helped me to better understand who I am and where I want to go, to really evaluate what is worth holding onto and what needs to be let go. Writing is what's helped me clear up space in my head for what's really important.

With that said, I will admit I have not written in my journal for several months and it shows. I'm definitely more efficient when I write--I need it. I promised myself a few weeks ago I would start writing again, but sadly it hasn't happened. That's why when Megan brought home her journal from school and wanted to share it with the family we thought it a great opportunity to discuss the importance of writing.



So Monday night we gathered on our bed while Adam pulled out several old journals from his life and let us flip through them. His, of course, are full of words + drawings, which we all got a kick out of seeing. I loved that it showed the girls, who are not all strong in word, that journals can be a lot more--it's a way of expressing yourself freely, unedited. It can be what you need when you need it. As it turns out, Megan's were an example of the same, words + drawings, and we all thoroughly enjoyed the workings of her mind.


[ps she said i could share]

After looking through Megan's school journal and seeing how far she's come in the past 9 months I am challenging all of us to write in our journals daily. Not only is it a great way to keep up their writing skills over the summer, but it will be something we can all do together. I'm hoping it will be the beginning of a beautiful habit.


Do you have a journal?
Have you written in it lately?

keeping a journal, take II

One of my goals that I didn't keep as faithfully as I would have like last year was writing in my journal. There are just so many things that get missed on a blog and thought a journal would be just the thing. Unfortunately somewhere along the way my journal writing petered off and I went from every day to once a month to twice a year. Very disappointing.

Today in church a man was quoting the church news and said, "I think that if you're going to make progress in any aspect of life, you have to keep track of that progress and you have to keep track of it somewhere. I think it's a good practice to use a journal as a workbook to keep track of progress."

This definitely hit a chord with me. I really liked that he said a journal is a way of keeping track of our progress. I don't know why I've never thought of it like that before because I've definitely taken note that my blog has done just that. I've at times, looked back at my 2005 self and seen how much I've grown as a person, but also creatively in those 5 years. I'm so grateful that I have a record and can see exactly where I've come from. I know a journal that has even more personal thoughts/experiences can do the very same thing and it gave me another push to start again and keep it up.

Another thing that caught my attention was President Erying's talk from Oct 2007 General Conference. He talked about finding ways to recognize and remember God's kindnesses and he did it by keeping a journal. He said, "As I kept at it, something began to happen. As I would cast my mind over the day, I would see evidence of what God had done for one of us that I had not recognized in the busy moments of the day. As that happened, and it happened often, I realized that trying to remember had allowed God to show me what He had done."

I realize I need to find more quiet moments where I can recognize the hand of God in my day. I know there are many instances in my life, but also in the life of my family where God has helped one of us. It's a shame to think how many experiences I've already let fall through the cracks and become forgotten. I believe seeing God's works everyday will change the way I see myself in the big picture and get a better understanding of my purpose.



I came home from church once again with the renewed desire and commitment to be better about writing in my journal. To write what's in my heart so my children will know who I am. To answer the question, what do I need to do to get from where I am to where I want to go? So I can everyday see evidence of what God has done for me and my family. I'm hoping that it will help me not only recognize the experiences more as they're happening, but that I too will be able to find opportunities to serve.

Now, I just need to find a way to make this desire last longer than a month or so...thoughts?

handmade

I didn't make as many gifts this Christmas as a I did last year, but what I did make I was so excited about. I've been thinking a lot about gratitude the last few weeks. How feeling grateful actually changes your attitude which in turn changes the way you see life. So with that on my mind I decided to make gratitude journals that would help keep you thinking about gratitude all year long.





It was more of an undertaking than I thought, designing it all from scratch, but one of those projects for me that didn't seem like work at all. I created the book layout in Indesign. Here are my initial notes. I had to work out each individual signature (group of pages) before I could begin to lay it out. I told Adam there must be a program out there that does this for you, but didn't have the time or patients or money to go looking for it.



quote from book:

Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow. - Melody Beattie



You can't really see it so clearly in the picture, but each page has three days and a place to write 3 things your grateful for from that day. It was definitely a labor of love and hope Adam's sisters and mom will enjoy them this coming year.

And because I loved the way they turned out so much and the concept that I decided to make an extra one to sell. I know I'm cutting it close with the new year starting this week, but seeing as they were gifts I couldn't share this information until after Christmas. If your at all interested go here to see it in my etsy shop.

Have a great day!

spt (self portrait tuesday) - resolve

tuesday, january 6 i resolve to take more self-portraits
tuesday, january 13 i resolve to take more self-portraits with people i love
tuesday, january 20 i resolve to take more self-portraits while trying new things
tuesday, january 27 i resolve to take more self-portraits doing things i enjoy

Well, I'm not taking on the challenge I did last year to take a self portrait everyday, we all know how that ended, but I am resolved to be involved in the SPT each week. It's such a great way to a) make sure you are present in your families memory books, b) a great way to reflect about life in a way you may not have ever thought before, and c) a really great photography challenge. I'm definitely looking forward to another 52 weeks of challenges.



Since self-portraits are something I've been doing for a while now, one thing I'm going to try to capture is everyday life in my self portraits. In this photo I am writing in my journal aka life book. Yes, I have now officially started a journal and haven't missed a day since January 1st (the goal to write something everyday if only a line or two). It's something I've wanted to do for a long time and for some reason or another it keeps getting pushed to the back of my list. This year I decided there is enough that gets missed with blogging because I either feel like it's too personal, it's so boring who would want to read it, or I just don't find the time to blog that I want to make sure the workings of my thoughts don't go unrecorded. I can't tell you how many times I've thought about blogging about something on my mind and then I end up completely forgetting. Hopefully by doing both (blogging and a journal) I will get a great sense of our family life this year.

Have you started up a journal again?

journals

I just got done with a 30 minute ride home, alone, left to my thoughts (coming home from book club). Often it's a review of the night...did I offend anyone? Did I talk too much? You know all the insecurities I shouldn't have, but I do (it just seems to be my drive home ritual). I feel like I need to explain a bit more...I don't get offended easily, especially in situations like book club where so many people are talking and voicing their opinion, but I often feel I have a very strong opinion that I give too freely. Couple that with my blurting problem and I feel it can be a disaster for offending. So I'm always working on it, you know just to keep myself in check, so please know my fellow bookclubers, I have never once been offended and I've always enjoyed our conversations.

Anyway, tonight was different. Instead, I kept thinking about our discussion about journals. You know the burning question whether you would be mortified if someone got a hold of your journals and whether or not it's best hiding place would be a fiery furnace? I've thought of this many times and wondered the fate of my own journals. Honestly, I don't know that I would want them read.



This has always been my impression...until tonight. I came home in search of all my journals I could find. I found one from 1983 with very little entries, but with multiple drawings. I found some from junior high where I'm pretty dramatic and each entry is dedicated to a different boy and why he didn't like me. I didn't have much from high school which is probably a blessing more than anything, though I would give anything to read what my high school self had to say. I found entries from college, while I dated Adam, two books full of my time in Jerusalem, and entries from my early years of marriage. It pretty much dies out from there until about 2005 when I started blogging.

I must admit I'm surprised (or not surprised at all) with the content I found hidden in each pages. Many of my entries say some of the exact same things I post about now. Seriously. Seriously, haven't I progressed? Of course many things have changed, I certainly have a better marriage now then I did 11 years ago, but it appears that the stuff I struggled with then are still on my mind today. It bothered me at first to think I've moved so little in so many years, but what I realize is this is me, always full of thoughts, questions, trying to figure things out, wanting to be better. Let's face it nothing has changed and why would they? I know changing really is something that can only be achieved little by little after a life time of experiences.

Ok so I'm not quite sure where I'm going with this. I really shouldn't be posting at 1:50 in the morning, it's often these posts that I fear and love the most. I'm sure my randomness isn't enjoyed by all....so I'll get to the point. I guess what I'm trying to say is we can learn a lot about us and life through our journals. Even though I've thought plenty of times my words from years past ought not to be remembered, I just proved to myself tonight (this morning) that my voice has a place. Yes, perhaps under lock and key for my eyes only, but certainly not a fiery fate. I need to be better at searching through them more often.

good night...it's 2:15am and I'm not tired at all. Yikes.

personal history

This is the lesson I gave today in YW. I was actually really excited to give it and it went very well. The girls were really receptive to my thoughts and my passion for documenting life. I told them about my Grandmother I am named after that I believe I am a lot alike. I don't have journals of her's to read, but I do know the things she loved to do. Things that I am also interested in and it makes me feel closer to her. Makes me feel like I am connected to her even though I never met her in this life.

So while preparing for this lesson I was amazed at how much I am documenting my life for my children and those to come. My blog is a great example of course of a continuous journal. A place that really holds my true thoughts emotions and what I am going through right now in my life. I hope it will be invaluable to my girls as they become mothers. Scrapbooking is also a really great way I am document life. I didn't say "my life" because I have few pages of myself, but I am challenging myself to do more. I certainly have learned a lot about "me" through the few layouts I have created. I love them and look forward to my girls knowing who I am through my art. Next photography. I see photography as a great way of docuementing life. It's a visual way of seeing what life was like and how I lived and what was important to me.

I have never been so great at keeping a journal, though when I do, I love the freedom it gives me. It is my best friend at times, which is why often I feel there are entries that need to be burned. Times I was too critical or too frustrated and don't want anyone to read it. But honestly, that is me. That is real. That is my life and I wouldn't want to take that away.

So I applaud you all for keeping a journal by writing in your blog. For opening up and sharing something for all of us to learn from. For learning about yourself. For giving this gift to your family. The gift of you.

I love being apart of this.

today ten years ago

It's so weird for me to think it was ten years ago i set out for the holy land. I actually left for Jerusalem on the 9th, but technically arrived there on the 10th in 1996. It wasn't a hard decision to go. What an awesome experience I would have, but when the time came it was difficult to leave my friends and loved ones.
My boyfriend at the time, aka husband now, made this book for me to read on my journey. I remember on the plane sitting next to a girl I didn't know, who would later become a great friend, with tears in my eyes reading the words he had written to me over the last few months. So priceless to me.

These are the journals I kept while I was gone. The one advice I had received from someone who had already gone was to write in a journal everyday. I did and it was the best thing I could have done. These books are full of my thoughts, emotions, and experiences that I can never get back, and could realistically never remember. It is a snap shot of who I was at twenty on my own experiencing the world. I plan to read my journal throughout the next 6 months, a day at a time. I hope to learn more about myself and how much I have changed from the young naive girl I once was.