two a.m.

It's 2am and here I lay in bed listening to the howling of the wind, the violent rain pelting against the windows with only a hint of a headache remaining.

I'm not sure why I'm up (do we ever really know?), but I'm grateful I'm feeling whole again. A few hours ago, right around 6pm, I started getting a headache that progressed worse by the minute. By 7pm I was in bed, lights off, trying not to throw up. My efforts were in vain -- it's unfortunate I had pizza for dinner.

Tess had been sick with the very same symptoms Sunday, I feel so bad thinking about it now, she was in a lot of pain if it was anything like mine. I'm wondering though, if I wasn't sick at all, but just experiencing my first migraine. I can specifically remember being around Bella's age and watching my mom hide in her room, pillow over her head with the lights off. Tell me that is not my future -- don't migraines tend to come in bundles?

I can't be sure what the girls did from 7pm on, they were so good to leave me alone in my misery. I wonder if that's what my mom thought too? As I laid there suffering I was sure sleep would never come, but I must have nodded off because as I actively waited for Adam to come home, I never did actually hear him walk through the door.




You know I was just thinking the other day how grateful I am for my health, but it's never meant more to me than it does this morning, and I celebrated too. I ran around my house this morning cleaning like a maniac -- just because I could.

Have a fabulous safe weekend! I know I will. Daniel Craig is on my to do list. Anyone else plan to see Skyfall opening weekend? 

pause + reminder

This little girl felt under the weather yesterday which gave us all reason to take pause. This summer has been so busy I don't think I've had one week at home yet so I welcomed the change.

I'm not complaining though, it's been a fabulous summer. One of these days when I get my act together I'll let you know what we've been up to.

For now, I want to remind you all that tomorrow is the twelfth. Looking forward to seeing how many of you are playing along out of town.

Enjoy documenting your day!

better days

[shopping for bella, 14 march]

These two have been sick--coughing, fevers, sore throats, all around down and out. Needless to say it has been really quiet around here, and while I admit to it being nice for a change, I miss the noise they bring home with them after a busy day at school.

Hoping tomorrow brings better days for them.

xo

12of12

[Saturday, Sept 12]

We were quarantined this day in September, this weekend. I made tess' piano bag to try to keep myself sane. Adam was sweet making us good food all day, which makes staying home that much easier, especially when Megan was really needy.

We've got some sickies around here and it's not the good kind either.

* There's been lots of whining and I need you to be with me.
* Two hours spent at the doctors in order to find out a diagnosis.
* $65 on medication x 2 with Megan coming down with it (so that's $130 in 2 days).
* Lots of tears over silly things....perhaps it's just PMS.
* Adam and I waiting and wondering who will get hit with it next...we're each betting on the other.
* Missed opportunities for all (Adam & kids were suppose to go camping this weekend so there goes my free night).
* No friends after school means a "no fun Friday" according to Bella.
* Incredible amounts of laziness and apathy from all.

Looks like it's shaping up to be one of those weekends. Is it too early (3pm) to go to bed?

what a day

it all started like this...

2:37am I hear a bang crash and then moaning. I turn over to Adam, realize he's not in bed and go bolting for the bathroom. There he is face down. I'm not sure what has happened, but gather he must have fainted. After getting him to wake up and respond to me (the longest minute of my life) I realize he's sick.

2:45am-5:24am Laid awake, listening for Adam because the whole ordeal of finding him face down has left me a little panicked. Helped him when he needed it.

5:25am Since I wasn't sleeping and Adam seemed to be handling himself better than before I figured I should go to boot camp as planned.

5:40am Went down to the garage to get my stuff and heard some rustling. It was Tess looking for her shoes. She was fully dressed ready for school. When I asked her what she was doing she said, "I tried to sleep, but I just can't. My eyes just stay open." So I put her in front of the television and left.

6:00am-7:15am boot camp

7:16am Walked into a quiet house and wondered why the girls weren't up yet. I found Bella and Tess in Bella's bed giggling. Apparently they were waiting for her alarm to go off before they got up. I can completely remember my first days of school so vividly and how excited I was to finally get there after so much anticipation.

7:17am-8:20am It was a flurry of activity all the while feeling like crashing. Made the girls french toast and cut up cantaloupe. Helped walk them through what they needed to get done before we left, ie shoes, hair, lunch, snack, teeth. Apparently you can unlearn everything in 3 months. Left on time.

8:25am Watched my girls, who could not have been more excited, find their friends and anxiously await the beginning of their new day.


[Do you notice there new hair cuts? Finally Bella got the hair cut she's been trying to get for a year. Thanks Tami for telling me about your stylist. click here to enlarge]

8:30am Said my goodbyes and left. On the way out I ran into my friend I go to boot camp with. She offered to take Megan so I could go back to sleep. Precious gift. I didn't hesitate to put Megan, who was still in her pajamas and looking rough, in their car and left.

8:46am Got home, checked up on Adam, opened the windows, made a few phone calls and went to the couch to sleep.

9:14am-11:55am slept. delicious sleep.

11:56am Had the hardest time waking up. I realized I probably should so I didn't ruin my sleep tonight, but I didn't want to. It was so needed. Called my friend who said to come get Megan at 1:30pm. I closed my eyes again.

12:15pm Pulled myself off the couch and found Adam. He was doing so much better. Apparently the nausea was wearing off and was feeling hungry. He is convinced it was food poisoning, but I'm not so sure. He still had blood on his face from where he fell and found out he had a huge goose egg and a split lip. He took more of a fall then I realized. I'm so glad it wasn't more serious because I was too out of it to think of how he fell or that he could have had a concussion.

12:55pm Adam broke the news...our realtor had called and our buyers pulled out. Apparently they gave a bogus reason that our shed in back wasn't built on a foundation. Whatever. It's a 9x9 structure, a place to put bikes and lawn mowers, hardly something to let go of a house for. I guess they had changed their mind for whatever reason.

1pm I feel shocked and a bit overwhelmed. In a way I feel this relief of not moving, but then I feel let down that the IG won't happen. Adam is quite disappointed, but has put the final decision, to continue to sell for another 30 days or stop, in my hands. Doesn't he know how bad I am with decisions? You would think it would be crystal clear to me, but I am unsure of what to do or what is right for us. Lots to think about.

randomness

**Tuesday, Megan woke up with a tummy ache. I had a hard time believing it was the flu, but she proved me wrong by throwing up in the hallway on her way to the bathroom. She took it like a champ, like she usually does. It's interesting how chatting and witty she was after getting whatever it was out of her system. I got her all cleaned up and cozy in my bed and turned on a movie for her. She was asleep almost instantly. I was in my bathroom getting ready for the day talking to her when I realized she wasn't talking back. She slept from 9:30-1pm was up for a bit and then again from 2:30-6pm. I fully thought Adam and I were in for it, but she put herself to bed at 8pm after eating peanut butter crackers and slept through the night. This morning she's back to herself again. It was a weird, but quiet 24 hours.

**Tess got a Nintendo DS for her birthday and right away we had to put the rules in place. It's rules we had before, but over time have become lax with. The rule goes something like this: play the DS as much as you want as long as you've read just as much before. So if you read 20 minutes you get to play 20 minutes. Anyway, every day after school Tess and Bella, equipped with a digital clock, have been reading. All I can say is...it's working!



**The girls and I spent the evening in my studio. Bella and I set her up an email address so she could stay in contact with friends, her favorite teacher, and cousins over the summer. She sent out a few emails and even got one back. She was thrilled and excited about the power of instantaneous messaging. If she's this excited about emails I wonder what she will think when she grasps the concept of text messaging...hopefully she won't care for another eight years. While we did that Tess and Megan sat next to us painting. It started out civil and then got out of control messy. Paint all over the chair, the printer, the table, and them. Even my sink didn't fair well, it got just as blue as the rest (see it here). I kept it together though, reminding myself it's all for the sake of art. Luckily, acrylic is washable, but unfortunately not in white grout.

**Occasionally while at Target I'll browse the book section, I prefer to shop online (cheaper) or at Barnes and Noble...for the atmosphere, but I was in need of a book because I'm finishing up The Middle Place. I found Almost Moon by Alice Sebold thinking so many people loved Lovely Bones this must be decent, but still hesitant because I hadn't heard of it before. I was intrigued that the book covers a 24 hour period so I bought it. After I got home I decided to look at the reviews just to see what I was getting myself into. Can I just say, I'm so glad I did. Apparently there is a reason no one I know has read it. Loads of people gave it 1 star on goodreads and called it "disturbing". I guess there's a reason why I always stick with books my friends have read. I'm bummed I have to make another trip to Target this week...it's hard to get out of there.

taking a sick day

- As I laid in bed all day listening to the wind push against my door and the chairs move around on my porch it occurred to me that my killer sinus pain and congestion is due to allergies, not because I'm sick. Oh well, I'm taking a sick day anyway because let's face it, I feel like I am.

- Adam came home this afternoon to offer lunch and take my couch away. Apparently it was exactly what he's been looking for to go in his new office so now I have an empty space in my living room. I'm wondering how long it's going to be there.

- Tess came home, saw the missing couch and asked if she could please vacuum where the couch had been. Eh, yes please. After a while of hearing the vacuum running I could hear Megan and Tess giggling as they, I imagine, sucked up each others clothes. Don't I remember doing that as a kid?

- I've been able to read most of today and am almost finished with Run. Hopefully by the end of the night I'll be done and able to move on to The Middle Place.

- I was able to talk with my good friend Eryn this afternoon. I found out she'll be spending the majority of the summer here so I'm looking forward to all the time we'll have to catch up.

- Lori and I are officially going to see Keane in concert on May 12th. I'm really looking forward to not only going to see Keane, but going with Lori. What can I say, she's good concert company.

spoke to soon

Remember when I wrote this on Monday? Well, apparently I spoke to soon.
Five prescriptions later and we are a household on the mend.

two good things came from one weekend of sick

I've been putting our house back together after the sickness that came through here this weekend. We found out Adam had strep Friday which led to Tess and Megan's diagnosis. It was strange though, Tess was running around having a great time and told me her throat didn't hurt at all. So they have all been on antibiotics and I have been doing what I can to stay away from them, which included sleeping on the couch...so far so good. I did get meds for Bella (i never gave them to her) just in case she comes down with it to because I don't want to pay another $25 to go see the doctor. So far this weekend has cost me more than $100 with co pays and prescriptions (though I will say I'm glad it was only that much).

So while they've been sick, really it only seemed like Adam was sick, I got loads of stuff done. I guess I was trying to preoccupy myself and not feel like we were under some kind of quarantine.

I totally cleaned my car inside and out. It felt so good. I never know why I wait until I just can't stand it anymore. I guess I figure until the winter is over my mats are going to look disgusting.

Bella and I moved her room around. She has been asking me to do this for a long time, but I've hesitated because there's not a whole lot we can do...she has a queen size bed and a small room with lots of windows. My sister-in-law Amy gave me a small table (thanks Amy) and Bella loved it so much I told her she could have it. I thought it would be fun to finally give her a new look and then I was able to satisfy another urge to deep cleaning. When people are sick I just want to clean.

I took down my saloon style doors in my closet and added a curtain. I've had more than one person comment about my saloon doors and make fun, although that is not the reason I took them down. For 1, they seemed to really get in my way, and 2, I would hang stuff on them so the entrance to my closet always looked like the rest of it...messy. I actually like what it looks like so much better, and hey, my closet is clean too.

I defunkified my room and cleaned the sheets. Ok, Adam cleaned the sheets for me yesterday. I guess he was sick of his sickness and took care of it for us. He seems to be much better and went back to work this morning.

There were a few things I wanted to clean that I didn't get to like my fridge and my studio desk, even Megan asked why my desk is always messy, however, a few good things came from the weekend of sickness. The house is cleaner than it was and Adam's going to be staying in town (he had a trip to New Mexico he was suppose to go on this week that he canceled because of how he was feeling). I can't complain with that.

home bound

I am home with a sick Megan for the second day in a row. I was hoping she would be feeling better this morning, but alas she's still looking a bit comatose and smelling much worse. I got her all soapy in the bath and even encouraged her to chew a piece of gum, which actually took no encouragement at all, but it doesn't seem to be doing it's job. I have though, enjoyed her quiet ways and spending time just holding her when she needs it. It's not fun when they're sick, but I do love the cuddles.

With that said, I'm a bit concerned by the length of her illness because I'm actually trying to get out of town this weekend. I'm hoping it will subside by tomorrow (for both our sakes) as I would love a little bit of a mommy break now that I've been planning on it, and let's face it, so have they. I think they would be totally let down as it's just as fun for them to get a break from the normal everyday routine.

So today to keep me sane while I'm home bound, again, I'm think about the good things, like how much laundry I've been able to get done, but it hurts my heart to see sweet Megan laying uncomfortable on the couch for the second day in a row so I choose to think of her like this,



like I found her a few days ago enjoying the sunny snowy outdoors. She is a bit of a handful, but I can't wait for her to come back.

edited: it appears she's coming out of it. Yeah! She finally asked for food and her wit is definitely on the mend. If you hadn't eaten in two days what would you choose? She chose ants on a log.

And so today becomes 3...maybe not :)

I miss these three.


I miss them in this happy state I found them in when I took this photo. When will they be back I wonder? Each morning since Sunday I've wondered and each morning the same...too sick to go to school (I know at least one of them is faking). I think Megan said it best when she said, "I'm a little bit sick and a little bit better". It may be another homebound day for all of us. Revised 8:20am they were up and ready today. Hooray we're back.

Of course you know someone doesn't feel well when they'll find just about anywhere to fall asleep.

Couldn't miss the opportunity to capture her in a most uncomfortable sleeping arrangement over the weekend. I'm not sure how she's staying on.

Lastly, my art journal entry I was working on yesterday, but didn't finish until last night. I took inspiration from the pottery barn kids magazine.


I guess you could say it goes along with what I was trying to convey in my post yesterday...i can choose to find the good or focus on the bad and I want to turn my thinking around and see the good.

Now I'm off to exercise and feel good about this new day that's ahead of me despite the fact that I didn't sleep well and was up at 4am. At least it gave me a chance to catch up on some blogs.

sickies

I have for the past two days been dealing with 2 very sick girls. It starting Monday night when Megan threw up several times and then Bella woke up that morning with the same surprise for me. It has been non stop for the both of them and all my energy has been spent pushing liquids. I was hoping it would be a one day thing, but alas it is still with us.

I hate to see them so sad. So lifeless. It has been so hard for me to watch Megan's little frail body laying over the toilet waiting for it to come. I hate feeling helpless, but at least I know I am doing what she needs...just being with her. It was a blessing that I finally got my photo order in the mail today so I could sift through and recall just how lively they were just a few days ago. I hope tomorrow will be a new day for them and that Tess, Adam, and I will be spared a few days in bed.

Although it's hard to deal with, I have had more time while they sat and watched TV to work on project around the house. I organized all the school papers/art from last year that I had in different files and I'm so glad I did because I found this of Bella's that I had never read.

"Poem cleaning good"

"Today is great because we cleaned so well. We set the timer for 1 minute in megan's room. We did it before it went off. And in the basement it was 4 minutes and bam before it stoped we were done."

and then this

"To: Tess Megan Mom Dad
Please sine up for picking a prize and use it for a hour OK. Then you guys can get a presant for me."

I don't recall the reason behind the second one, but it cracked me up nevertheless. I guess something good has come of today. I love find stuff like this.

I am so sick and I am not a very good sick person.

I woke up this morning around 5am and realized not everything was right. It is always a shocker when you realize the mere mention of getting out of bed is out of the question. Sadly enough Adam went to bed last night feeling really sick so the two of us laid in bed for almost half the day. He eventually had to get up and go to a couple of meetings around 3pm, but not me. I stayed there. Well I am still there. Only getting up to use the bathroom.


So what did my kids do. Well, Bella had her first lesson in really taking care of the other two. She got megan out of bed, got them breakfast etc. I suppose she didn't change the diapers, but imagine if she had. I was lucky I was able to call my neighbor to take bella to school and Tess just skipped school today. There was no way I was getting out to drive her or anyone anywhere.

So it seemed like things were under control...a bit I guess. The kids were doing good about giving me space, but would come in every now and then. Megan more than the other two always asking for food. Of course Bella had her time as well proclaiming in a wo is me voice, "we sure have watched a lot of TV today". I felt really bad for neglecting them, but number one I didn't want them to get it and two I was in no mood to care about how much they actually watched. I think it was literally all day. It happens.

So to end things, I just want to share with you my aliments so you can feel bad for me for just a moment:

I have the classic flu symptoms feeling like at any moment I am going to vomit.
My head is killing me.
I have chest pain.
I have the "jimmy" really bad so being in the bed is driving me crazy.
And I have severe cramps.

So there you have it folks and the only reason I feel I can joke about it is Adam has made a complete recovery in 24 hours so come 5am I should be feeling fabulous. Right?

Let's hope so.

our weekend

You would not believe my weekend.

When we finally got our children back from Jill, Bella vomited at Training table. Complete story here. Thinking the worst was behind us Megan vomitted that night twice. Which means I was up with her and not sleeping. Yet again thinking the worst was behind us on Sunday while playing hide and seek with Lolo and the girls we noticed a huge wet spot around the utility room. Doing our best to clean it up Adam ran to get a fan from our old house and rented a vaccum to suck up as much water as possible. Again for the 4th time thinking what else could happen to us this weekend after adam took a shower he went to check on our basement and realized it was flooded again. After using the wet vac we realized it was coming from the drain. Turns out our sanitary sewer was backed up. I couldn't believe it. Luckily we were able to get a plumber here ASAP to fix the problem. Still I had brand new carpet that was ruined and wet. I found out that it is a big deal and one the can cause major problems with bacteria growing and such if not taking care of. So all day I have been looking for someone to help us. I finally found a guy who would come in replace the pad and disinfect the area, then once completely dry clean the carpet.

Is someone trying my patience here. I hope I past because despite all that went down I am fine. NO freak outs. No why me. Just delt with the problem. I really hope it is all behind us now. Most likely not. Like Lori said, "home ownership is a bitch." No Doubt!

thinking about friday

I am so looking forward to Friday. I actually usually am because of game night, however this friday will be different. I am going to a scrapbook store to scrapbook with my friends for 6 straight hours. I cannot wait. I have not done this in a long time and miss it. I enjoying working at home in my studio, I have everything I need, but I sure miss the days of getting together with friends talking, eating good snacks, getting ideas & opinions. So tonight after a really bad day, well mostly for Megan since she was throwing up, I am trying to put together some ideas and be prepared so I can actually get something done Friday. I work better prepared.

In other scrapbooking news Amy, my sister-in-law has started to scrapbook. Glad to have her on the team and hope to do some scrapbooking together. I was able to see her layouts last night before the big event, 24. I must say for her first pages she is really really good. My first pages are horrible. I try to keep it in persepective and remember when I started there were no embellishments and no good patterened paper or cardstock to pick from. Honestly that probably wouldn't have made a difference, but i like to think so. I actually do enjoy looking back and seeing my progress. I have come a long way and certainly enjoy my style that has emerged.

Ok so back to layout prep and vomit patrol. Poor Megan has been sick most of the day, well since 10am. Who gets sick at 10am. I kept thinking it was something she ate because she wanted to eat, and didn't act lethargic. I was wrong.

this week

so two of my girls were sick on wednesday...than lucky me when i actually had a night out with my friends i end up coming home earily...sick. it sucked. i hated everything about it, and all i could think about was how i never want to be pregnant again. it was that same nausious feeling i had for 7 weeks. in times like that i truly can't believe i endure 7 weeks of feel so crappy and on top of it taking care of 2 other kids. so here i am sick not feeling well and my husband gets sick. sadly i had no sympathy because 1) i was still not feeling my best 2) all i could think about was i did that for 7 weeks.

so glad everyone is feeling well again!

busy busy day

So I have had a very busy day that in an instant began something entirely different. Two of my three children are sick...throwing up to be exact. Something I wasn't expecting and yet something I am embracing. Not that I delight in them being sick, but I actually don't mind their mellow change and just being with them. So of all the stuff I needed to accomplish today I find myself homebound enjoying the quiet of the day. Hanging out with my kids just chillin'. Listening to David Gray a and soaking up the sun that has evaded us for days. I just love the way the sun glistens off the fresh fallen snow.

So here's to being positive and making good out of an unpleasant situation....and they say I don't have it in me.