next stop--laguna beach

We are just outside of Vegas now making our way west in a glorious 14 passenger fun bus. I'm really glad we were able to borrow the van & drive together (we are with our friends). It's made the time go by so much quicker, plus, the kids are in heaven right now, even though we have had some seating arrangement issues. Apparently the seating chart they made earlier in the week is not sticking.

But with that said it's been far easier than I expected. I thought it would be more enduring the noise from the kids, but the only loudness is coming from the rattling of the van when we get to speeds above 70 mph. It's all apart of the adventure--right?

So far so good.

12of12 reminder

[July 2009]

Just a quick reminder that tomorrow is the twelfth of July. I hope you're all ready and looking forward to documenting another day in your life.

This is going to be a different one for me. As you read this I am on the road with my family heading west to California. I didn't put it together until last week that I wouldn't be here for the twelfth, and while I'm excited to be documenting this day, I'm definitely going to need to improvise. I will not have the internet, but I will have my phone so I'll definitely be able to post something--who knows maybe I'll do a 12of12 iphone style. Make sure to check in on the thirteenth and I will at least have posted mr. linky if not more.

Have a good one!

lucky enough to lose

I don't know how long I can do this, he said. I think the universe has different plans for me & we sat there in silence & I thought to myself that this is the thing we all come to & this is the thing we all fight & if we are lucky enough to lose, our lives become beautiful with mystery again & I sat there silent because that is not something that can be said.
~storypeople

The weight of this storypeople hit me like a ton of bricks and sat with me for a long while after. I love it when quotes, talks, movies, and books make me pause and give me reason to sit in the quiet for as long as I need. I have a million thoughts filling up my head right now that I long to share and no time to share them. Instead I'll let storypeople do the heavy lifting and say good night for now.

good night.
xo

52 photo project | week 11 | in the garden

this weeks prompt gave me the perfect excuse to step away from all my "have tos" and find much needed peace and clarity in my surroundings. i don't know why i don't think to go explore more often--does the trick every time.

over the weekend | farmers market

I have to laugh when I look back at my post from last night. I don't know why i ever think it's a good idea to be blogging in such a vulnerable state. Thank goodness for a new day and a clear head--I woke up this morning feeling totally refreshed and in control of everything.



Over the weekend we made our way to the farmers market downtown. I always find it enjoyable to roam around and see local artists, live musicians, fresh produce, and taste homemade goodies. I would definitely recommend going and going hungry. It's seems like every time we turned around there was something else that looked phenomenally delicious. My other recommendation would be to go early. I read you want to go early enough to get the best produce, but really you want to go early enough to beat the heat. I'm thinking fall would be the perfect time to go, of course then you might miss out on all the flowers. Go now & go then--I'm certain that will not be our last visit.

The other thing that made me extremely happy was to see my two oldest walking around with their cameras taking photos of stuff that stood out to them. Looking forward to pouring over their memory cards as soon as I have a moment.

deep breath

i'm exhausted.
my mind is fried.
my emotions are too.
i've got a huge community party to make flyers and posters for that i've worked on all day and only have a rough draft to show for it.
i've had to reschedule all our "scheduled" summer activities & find time to re-fit them in.
i've been on the phone with about 20 different people, no exaggeration, for various reasons. some of them two or three times.
i've got several days worth of photos to edit for others & myself i need/like to get to.
i've got loads of laundry backed up waiting to be folded
i just found out, literally 20 minutes ago, i'm supposedly hosting a cub scout roundtable in less than a month and i don't know what a roundtable is let alone cub scouts. what in the world?
amongst all this i'm trying to prep to leave town on monday and I haven't had a moment to consider what I might need.

i know this doesn't seem like that big of a deal, and it really shouldn't be because i'm getting it done, it's just the weight of everything i need to do and all the new stuff getting thrown at me feels heavy today.
i'm exhausted.

deep breath.



i'm grateful to robyn and jill for having my girls tonight. they certainly had no idea how my day would evolve and it's nice to be minutes away from climbing into bed with a book and a quiet house. so although i am overwhelmed on so many levels at this moment I am blessed. I know it will all be ok.

52 photo project | week 10 | the blue hour

The Blue Hour is the transition between day and night; the period of time just before night and just before morning in which the light touches the earth.

*******************************************************

Yesterday was one those loud sort of days where I couldn't wait for the night to come and the noise to settle. I finally got the girls situated inside and slip out the back door for some "me" time. I just needed a bit of peace and calm and I got it at the edge of my yard. As I sat on our swing, gently swaying back and forth overlooking the valley and watching the sun fall from the sky, I started putting the pieces back together that had lost it's way throughout the day.

and then I went and played in it.

quiet morning

Wanting him to come back before anyone notices a part of the world has not moved since he left -storypeople

With Adam hopping on a plane today, bound for Las Vegas and home this weekend, this morning was a gift for us. You wouldn't think with Adam not sleeping well and my friend cancelling our walk that my morning would be so nice, but it was those two changes that made our morning delightful. Well, that, and the fact that my girls had a sleepover with cousins/nana.

And we needed a delightful morning after a busy day of meetings yesterday and only a brief moment to go to dinner before his evening meeting begun. We were so exhausted last night we didn't last more than minutes once we hit the pillow so it was perfect to be home this morning, present, not letting our thoughts drift to the "have tos & needs tos" of the day. We talked and laughed and enjoyed our quiet home together drowned in morning light...

it's been one of these kind of days.

hot
full
loud
wet
treat filled
sun kissed

These days are exhausting, but some of my most favorite of the summer. I think that feeling is very much tied to my childhood. Absolutely the best activity I could ever do as a kid in the summer was go to the pool, especially when it wasn't an everyday occurrence. I learned to appreciate each opportunity. And I can still remember what it felt like to come home, clean the pool off me, & hop straight into my jammies feeling my tight newly sun kissed skin. It's still very much the same today, except I never fight bed time--because let's face it, right now, my bed has never felt so good.

52 photo project | week 09 | a word that decribe you

I can't say this word describes me right now, but it's definitely what I aspire to and desire to become--fully giving all of myself.

so far we've done a lot of

biking


walking


jumping


baking


eating


reading


and enjoying the fruits of someone else's labor (my father-in-laws beautiful greenhouse)

desire

We've been writing like we promised we would. Bella I think has the most entries out of all of us, though we do seem to do it best when we do it together.

I have enjoyed pulling my journal out and letting my mind flow without worry of grammar or punctuation or if my words even makes sense on the page. I just let what's in out and it has made a world of difference to the rest of my day. I feel more free--open.



In my journal today were thoughts about desire and getting real about whether or not I'm on the path that will lead me to where I want to be. It was very disappointing to see what little progress I've made this year, almost discouraging, but I'm determined not to let it make me want to run and hide. I know it's work ahead of me, I know. That can be a very scary prospect for me to face, work and I are not always friends, but gratefully I'm in a better place right now to see it so that I can do something about it.

I know my truth, but it's time again to refocus, rededicate, and start living it.

These thoughts came about yesterday when I reread Elder Oaks talk from the April LDS General Conference on the topic. I highly recommend it. Here are a few of his thoughts that stood out to me:

"Desires dictate our priorities, priorities shape our choices, and choices determine our actions. The desires we act on determine our changing, our achieving, and our becoming."

"When we have a vision of what we can become, our desire and our power to act increase enormously."

"...what we insistently desire, over time, is what we will eventually become and what we will receive in eternity." -elder maxwell

Happy Monday. Hope your week is starting out as good as mine. :)

blessed

I had this moment today as I watched Adam with his girls reading his handmade father's day cards and laughing together that they too, like me, are extremely lucky to have been blessed with an amazing father.

When I think about the man my father is and what he has taught me in this life I am reminded of my Adam. They are both one of the most sincere, genuine, and giving people I know. I am who I am today because of their loving influence in my life.

thank you for giving all of yourself to us.
we are so very blessed.

52 photo project | week 08 | outside the window

Adam and I sat watching the moon rise above the mountain outside our window as we attempted to escape the heat of the day. We let the rustling of the leaves and passerby-ers provide the only noise as we enjoyed the view, the cool breeze, and each other. Eventually, as our eyes felt too heavy to stand, we made our way inside and said goodnight to a busy day.

a day in the city

library
new books
reading passports
attic room
magazines
art gallery
ideas
cafe



glass elevators
roof top garden
lovely views
noise
waterfalls
foliage
summer heat



fresh cookies
gateway
more heat
fountains
shops
knick knacks
can we get a slushy?
apple accessories
mist

glist

right now I'm grateful for...



--the early light in the morning that gets me up
--the coolish breeze
--quiet time after a long busy day
--a husband who just knows to bring me home neilsen's frozen chocolate custard with toasted almonds
--friends who listen & understand
--possibility
--second chances
--a heartfelt thank you from one my girls
--inspiring images
--answered prayers
--my testimony
--good British tv when I just want to veg (check out Masterpiece theater: Collision)
--the farmers market
--the new cut grass smell
--books that keep me & the girls reading
--our right to choose for ourselves
--a family who bravely let's me try new recipes (tonight: skewed chicken with peanut sauce)
--our differences, that we each have something unique to give/share with each other


**what are you grateful for today?

everydayness | may

this is why we all make our own pizzas--lot of eating, lot of finger licking


turkey burgers--thanks for the idea meili


remember this game?


time with my lovely friends


miss meg the ballerina--taken the night of her recital


delightful morning view


like mother, like daughter


always a good time with this girl, well, except when you're exhausted.

12of12 | June

[click here to enlarge]

01. Sundays, the only day of the week I tend to sleep in, I love taking my time waking up. This is my view in the morning.
02. As a mother of three girls you need to leave extra time for hair.
03. walking to church
04. Megan, as usual, running ahead.
05. flowers along the way
06. Bella and Tess enjoying a quiet afternoon with a book.
07. A giant symphony bar is almost always apart of my Sunday afternoons.
08. Megan doing her part of dinner clean up.
09. Writing in my journal
10. Went for a walk in the evening, we did a lot of walks today, and found more flowers. It took us a long time to get there, but the weather lately has been perfect.
11. Adam finally made it home after a weekend of camping with friends. :)
12. The evening sunset

It was a delightful day together with my girls and grateful to be able to spend the evening with Adam as well. I hope it was an equally enjoyable day for all of you.

12of12 reminder

[june 2010]

With schedules changing as summer arrives, or at least mine has--I'm not even sure what day of the week it is let alone the date--I quickly wanted to remind you that tomorrow is the 12th.

Get ready. It's another full day of documenting the life you see. :)

52 photo project | week 07 | heart

not a moment will be lost as long as we have heart & voice to speak & we will walk again together with a thousand others & a thousand more & on & on until there is no one among us who does not know the truth: there is no future without love.

~storypeople

tess bday revisted

I'm certain if you asked Tess she would tell you her birthday was a success, that she very much enjoyed her day. Except for maybe one part--piercing her ears.


It was of course her choice, but apparently she wasn't quite prepared for the stick. She later told me it felt like they had stuck pins in her ears and I gently had to reminder her that's exactly what they did. I mostly felt bad for the poor little girl who was watching Tess get them done. I guess the mom should never had told her daughter to watch and see how easy it was.

But before all that we had breakfast together as a family. Tess is one to never really know how to handle the attention of a birthday so we had to ease her into the lime light.



Of course she seemed to handle it pretty well once we got to the party. Even though the weather didn't cooperate like I had hope, the rain was off and on enough that she was still able to ride her new bike.



Speaking of her bike, Adam and I got her pretty good. When we got out of the car at the park to unload everything she noticed we did not bring her "old" bike just Megan's. She was devastated and began to cry. I assured her I would ask Grandma and Grandpa to stop home and bring it, but when they showed they didn't have it either--all part of my plan. She was super bummed which made me more excited to give her the "new" bike. Instead of making her wait after dinner and waste all the good riding time I grabbed it out of the car and started riding around the park. I yelled at her to get her attention that I had her bike and come get it. She seemed sort of confused at first, but once she got it she chased me down. She was and still is excited about her new ride.



It was a great day from start to finish and I'm glad she thought so. Later that night she gave me a big hug and thanked me for a fun day. Bless her heart--I would happily do it again and again.



I still look at her and am amazed that she is already nine. Everyday I am grateful I get to learn from her and watch her grow. She is a little bit goofy and a lot sweet and all mine. love you tessinni--never change.

right now randoms

--I'm still having a hard time believing it's June. I hope the summer slows down & takes it's time.
--This week we are tackling each girls room. It's what we like to call end of school clean out. So far so good--it's so nice to see them helping each other.
--What I need to be tackling is my yard. We have some rough spots that need our love and attention.
--I had to quit p90x due to my back incision (drs orders), and believe it or not, I'm actually missing it. I am, however, enjoying my walks & seldom runs in the morning with friends.
--I'm hoping to entertain more this summer.
--I haven't watched regular TV in months, but I highly recommend Downtown Abbey a delightfully British TV show. Lori brought it to my attention a couple weeks ago and Adam & I are hooked.
--I've been in sort of a reading funk lately. Started the year off strong, but unfortunately it's petered out. Do you have a great book suggestion to bring me back?



--Although my tomato plant doesn't look like it's doing too well, it is bearing fruit. The strange weather we've had lately is beating on it. I'm hoping if I show it love daily it will continue to grow. Why am I so bad with plants?
--The girls started swimming again at the local high school every morning at 9am. The best news is that Megan can join them this year.
--Tess has shown interest in rock climbing so I'm thinking I'll get in on the action with her. Thought it might be a fun summer activity for the both of us.
--The summer just got more exciting. We won a week stay at a beach house in Laguna Beach, CA at our YW/YM fundraiser auction. We got it for a screaming deal and can't wait to take the girls to the ocean for the first time this summer.

summer begins now

[taken as they left the house on the last day]

There were tears shed by Megan, some frustration from Tess this afternoon when they thought no friends made it into their class next year (they were wrong), but it was the tears shed by me that surprised me. I so loved their teachers this year and appreciated the efforts of each one to help my child succeed. Truly I cannot thank them enough for everything they've done. When you're sending your child out the door you want to make sure they are going to a safe happy environment where they can thrive. We got that this year and so much more. I will missed not having them apart of my girls life next year.





But like they say, all good things must come to an end and we are all ready for summer to begin. A week or so ago I was a little apprehensive for the school year to end, but now that it's here I'm really looking forward to this time with my girls. We have big plans this summer to stay on task academically, we can't afford to loose what we gained this year, but more importantly, to enjoy the freedom of summer. After all, you only get one childhood and I want these memories together to be memories that last a lifetime.


Has summer break started for you?

52 photo project | week 06 | memory

It doesn't take long these days with social media around to get the word out, unfortunately it was not good news this time. I found out today my older brother's friend died yesterday in a plane crash. Knowing too well the loss that my high school friend is now experiencing for her brother has brought some very tender feelings back to my heart.

When my brother died there was a part of me that longed to go back in time when life was effortless and my world simple. When I didn't know the pain of loss and how it could devastate you. When I didn't have to think or concern myself with what came next I could just walked outside my door and a world was waiting to be created.

Sigh.



Those were the days, the carefree summers nights playing games with the neighborhood kids, our annual fourth of july swimming and fireworks with my cousins, riding horses in Star Valley, fishing, jumping in Lake Powell to cool off, playing star wars with my brother, sleeping in my doorway to feel the swamp cooler breeze, playing house in my tree house, walking to the dairy to get ice-cream, summer chores, sleepovers....etc. etc.

I can never go back to those innocent years and simpler times (honestly I don't want to), but I am grateful those memories have stayed with me long after other ones have faded because it's those carefree moments of running through the grass barefoot without a care in the world that have become a source of comfort and a continual reminder to me to let go, to not fear, to live with abandon--and heaven knows I need reminders.

I know life is fragile, and while I think we should continually keep our eyes focus on the now, our happy memories can be a source of peace and play a part in helping keep us on our desired course and live the life we always dreamed we would as a child. When you're a child anything is possible, why should we forget that now that we've long grown out of our childhood?

We shouldn't.

xo

summer journals

I have, since the time I was a little girl, been taught the importance of writing in a journal. For the longest time I always thought it was only for documenting history, and while I still think journal writing can have that purpose, I have recently realized writing for me has become a lot more. I'm a thinker, I know I've told you that before, so writing has been a great way for me to sift through the thoughts floating around my head. It's helped me to better understand who I am and where I want to go, to really evaluate what is worth holding onto and what needs to be let go. Writing is what's helped me clear up space in my head for what's really important.

With that said, I will admit I have not written in my journal for several months and it shows. I'm definitely more efficient when I write--I need it. I promised myself a few weeks ago I would start writing again, but sadly it hasn't happened. That's why when Megan brought home her journal from school and wanted to share it with the family we thought it a great opportunity to discuss the importance of writing.



So Monday night we gathered on our bed while Adam pulled out several old journals from his life and let us flip through them. His, of course, are full of words + drawings, which we all got a kick out of seeing. I loved that it showed the girls, who are not all strong in word, that journals can be a lot more--it's a way of expressing yourself freely, unedited. It can be what you need when you need it. As it turns out, Megan's were an example of the same, words + drawings, and we all thoroughly enjoyed the workings of her mind.


[ps she said i could share]

After looking through Megan's school journal and seeing how far she's come in the past 9 months I am challenging all of us to write in our journals daily. Not only is it a great way to keep up their writing skills over the summer, but it will be something we can all do together. I'm hoping it will be the beginning of a beautiful habit.


Do you have a journal?
Have you written in it lately?