she reads

Megan has, for the last few weeks or so, been wanting to read. She is a lot like Bella where she's the one pushing to want to do it. Each time she comes up with an idea like this on her own I think, how could i have been so blind. I guess to me she is still just a little girl who couldn't possibly be old enough to read. At some point I'm going to have to realize she's growing up. My baby isn't a baby any more.

So last week we went to the library and got her a bunch of books recommended by Tess' reading teacher. They are the perfect beginner books and wish I had bought them years ago for Bella and Tess to enjoy. She is actually doing a fabulous job. Much better than I initially thought she would. I hope this will be the first of many hours with her nose in a book.

spt - 100 list #21

#21 I have a hard time spending money on clothes.

Yes it's true, I have a hard time spending money on clothes. I've never been a big shopper, but there are times, like when I go in my closet and can't find anything to wear or am going on vacation and just want something new, that I'll venture to the mall, but for the most part it's not something I do.



If I do find myself shopping, this is where my spt comes in, I loath spending top dollar for clothing. I don't own designer jeans, though it would probably be smart since I wear jeans all the time, because I just can't seemed to get passed the price tag. I try not to go into stores like Nordstrom unless I'm looking for something specific. Logic would tell me if I spend money on clothes they will last me a long time, true for jeans, but clothes go out of style so quickly that I'm better off spending $15/$20 on a trendy shirt, wearing if for one season, and feeling ok about the fact that it's falling apart.

Of course there are those times when I find a piece of clothing I love so much the price tag doesn't even matter or find an item considered as a wardrobe staple (ie..black pants or a white tailored shirt), and yes, for those types of situations I will usually splurge, but normally I look for bargains.

Finding a bargain on a shirt and still feeling cute...well how can you beat that? Ok you can, but you know what I mean.

the ever elusive sleep

I finally got up. I mean really, how long am I suppose to lay there dreaming of sleep before I just realize it's never going to come? Two hours? Two and half hours? Well, I gave it that and no luck so here I am.

This happens to me quite a bit...struggling to stay asleep for the entire night. I'm beginning to think the culprit is my bladder, it being the reason I'm getting out of bed mid sleep. I remember when I was pregnant this happened to me all the time. I'd wake up to go to the bathroom and could never find rest again. Of course then I had such a good excuse. I was completely uncomfortable due to my ever growing mass and I was actively getting kicked. Although, I'm glad to not have that excuse today, I can't quite understand why sleep eludes me so. First things first, I must find a way to stop waking up at 1ish. Note to self: cut off water supply by at least 7:30pm. I don't know, do you think that's soon enough?


[I was resting and Adam brought me a sleepy Megan to get me up. She tried her best to get as close to me as possible, at one point actually laying on me, but as evidence to the photo Adam took, she really didn't do her job. ]

Sleep is so delicious that it pains me to be in this situation. You have to admit though, there is something sweet about being up in the quiet to get stuff done. I think really well in the middle of the night or I should say, I usually have my best ideas. Not to say my ideas are actually great when I wake up, but when I'm in bed and I've got nothing else to do they seem brilliant. Of course I would give it all up if sleeping through the night were an option. Why isn't it an option? I want it, I really do. Tomorrow, excuse me, today is going to be brutal as I attempt to get stuff done on one of my busiest mornings of the week and try to avoid crawling back in bed. Aargh! I only have two hours before I'm suppose to get up and run. Wish me luck. I'm off to attempt sleep again.

what do you do if you can't sleep?

fall break

The girls were lucky enough to have a weekend sleepover extravaganza during their fall break. First at their Nana's and a visit to the scarecrow festival,


[photo taken from robyn's blog]

then to our house,


[ I made a mistake by taking this picture. The light woke Megan up which in turn woke up the rest. It was an early morning. The big girls slept in Bella's room.]


[The pillow was whitney's attempt to not be in the photo. I try to be so sly, but it doesn't always work.]

and finally, Bella and Tess at Whitney's for her birthday party and Megan at Olivia's.


[photo taken from Jill's blog]

It was a busy weekend.
A full weekend.
One of those weekends you feel lucky and grateful to have.
Grateful the cousins live close enough to have these sleepovers.
Grateful to Nana, Jill, and Robyn who love my kids enough to invite them over (I know they can be a handful).
Grateful for time to spend with Adam alone.
Grateful to know I was giving someone else a break.
Grateful to spend time with my nieces to get to know them even better.
Grateful for time to rejuvenate and miss my three.
Grateful to be apart of such a loving giving family.

It was a great weekend.

a free day & design your life class layouts

Unfortunately I woke up with a strange sinus headache this morning, but nothing Tylenol couldn't take care of. It's a good thing because I have a day ahead of me without kids (my mother-in-law had them sleep over last night and has them until 2pm because it's fall break) to just play in my studio. Luckily a new assignment was put up today for CathyZ design your life class so I'm looking forward to working on her assignments. I did however, make a huge mistake. I have a book on Cd waiting for me at the Library and failed to pick it up yesterday so I'm without a book to listen to. I guess music will have to do.

I just have to say this class has been fabulous. Like I said previously, I understand a lot about design, but I don't think I truly understand the "why's". This class is certainly providing the answers.

Each week, with the lesson, Cathy provides a sketch to use for the assignments as a blueprint. So far there have been 3 assignments per week. I feel like I'm rushing to get them done (I still have two to go), but I am determined to do them. If she continues to do 3 a week I'll have 36 layouts done by the end of class. :) That would definitely be a record for me. Hopefully it will be what I need to keep me going.

Lesson one: Symmetrical balance







Lesson Two: Asymmetrical balance

note to self

"to the world you are person,
but to one person you are the world."

-unknown

I found this quote yesterday while flipping through one of my notebooks and it seemed to be the thing I needed to remember as I fought feelings of worthlessness. It's a hard place to be. A hard placed to come back from, but this quote really did give me perspective and reminded me that yes, I am loved. I am needed.

We all are.

Why is it so easy to be blinded by what's missing in our life to see all the good?

date night in St. George

[iphone]

A night on the town with James Bond in St. George having a kid-free weekend. Can it get any better?

Too bad the movie wasn't as good as the first.

spt - 100 list #14

#14 I always crave french fries



Thank you Lelly for giving me an excuse to go and get french fries today because a) like my 100 list says I always crave them. Always. Especially at night right before bed. Excluding chocolate, I much prefer salt to sweet any day of the week. And because b) today has been a hard day and yes, as sad as it sounds, french fries helped. For a moment anyway.

more layouts from CZ design class

a 8x8 mini book

Wasn't it 80 degrees last week?

This was yesterday. Lightly falling snow, but nothing sticking.



However, this morning when I woke up I was greeted by a blanket of snow. The girls were so excited to wake up to their world covered in white and couldn't wait to go out and play, but I thought differently.









I'm sure by mid week the snow will all be gone and Fall will be enjoyed yet again, but it has reminded me of how NOT ready I am for winter. I'm not ready for cold.

I found her like this

collapsed on the floor in tears all because of school picture day.

And so it begins.

i...

i am.... blessed
i think... your thoughts create your world
i know... i am loved
i want... my family to be happy
i have... everything i've always wanted
i dislike... feeling misunderstood
i miss... my entire family (all 6 of us) being together
i fear... i'll never get where I want to be
i feel... grateful
i hear.... the wind rustling through the leaves
i smell... freshly baked mint brownies
i crave.... deep meaningful friendships
i cry... when I see/hear/read someone's inspiring story of strength and courage
i usually... forget at least one thing when i leave the house
i enjoy... taking a shower at night and getting cozy in bed after a long day
i search... for balance in my life
i wonder.... what more i can do
i regret... the time i've wasted on things i have no control over
i love... the marriage Adam and i have created
i worry... what the future will hold for my children
i am not... as selfless as i want to be
i remember... what matters
i believe... in Jesus Christ
i dance... all the time
i don't... write as well as i'd like to
i write... so my children will know who i am
i win... as much as i lose
i lose... my chapstick within a day of buying a new one
i am trying... to always stay positive
i never... want to eat strange foods like Andrew Zimmerman
i wish... i didn't have to teach my children about protecting themselves against bad people
i listen... to books on my ipod when i clean
i don't understand... why my house can't stay clean for more than 12 hours
i can usually be found... in the car going from school to preschool and back again
i am scared... for the outcome of this election
i need to lose... my fear
i forget... to water our plants
i am happy... i am me

a special happy birthday to my sister Jeni. Love you.

spt - 100 list

7. I enjoy when I get up and going in the morning, but I'm not really good at it these days.



The best part about looking back at #7 is it's something that I've been working on for the past two months. Every since school started (excluding weekends) I can only count a few days where I haven't gotten up early (6am) and started my day off with exercise, scripture reading, showering, or doing something else just for me before the girls wake up. My days just always go better when it's starts off right. I guess you could say I end up getting a lot more accomplished throughout the day by the way my morning starts.

So thank you Lelly for the challenge. It was fun to go back to my 100 list and even better to see that I'm currently working on and accomplishing a goal I've wanted to since January 2007.

instant relief

one....two......


three


We went to the dentist last Thursday and she didn't want him to touch her tooth, but come Sunday she couldn't wait to get rid of it. Can you believe she let her dad pull it out with floss? As far as I'm concerned it took as much strength to do it as it did to get it done, I basically took the picture with my eyes closed. She took it like a champ and couldn't wait to eat using her whole mouth. Poor girl has had that tooth loose for months.


[love how you can see the smile and relief in her eyes]

tender mercies

I woke up in a bad way this morning. I can't pin point it's origin, but I'm struggling with my self worth and an understanding of what my purpose is here on this earth. I'm grateful of all weekends that my mood fell on a day that could devote to listening to the words of the Prophet and the Apostles. As I sat listening I could see the tender mercies of a loving Heavenly Father in my life. Many of the talks and the words spoken today felt like they were just for me and a direct answer to my prayers.



There were many fabulous talks that got me to think, and made me more fully appreciate my life and my knowledge of the Gospel. I'll just share with you a few that spoke to me this morning that truly gave me hope, especially considering the place I found myself this morning.

Neil L Anderson
"While there are many experiences like the one we are having today full of spiritual power and confirmation, there are also days when we feel inadequate and unprepared. When doubt and confusion enter our spirits, when we have difficulty finding our spiritual footing, part of the victory as disciples of Christ is what we do when these feelings come."

"You don't know everything, but you know enough."

"Faith is not only a feeling, it's a decision."

President Dieter F. Uchtdorf
"Hope is a gift of the spirit...a principle of promise as well as a commandment, and with all commandments we have the responsibility to make it an active part of our lives and overcome the temptation to lose hope."

"No matter how bleak the chapter of our lives may look today, because of the life and sacrifice of Jesus Christ we may hope and be assured that the ending of the book of our lives will exceed our grandest expectations."

"The things we hope in, sustain us during our daily walk. They uphold us through trials, temptations, and sorrow. Everyone has experienced discouragement and difficulty. Indeed there are times when the darkness may seem unbearable. It is in these times that the divine principles of the restored gospel we hope in, can uphold us and carry us until once again we walk in the light."

Joseph B. Wirthlin
"I do believe the way we react to adversity can be a major factor in how happy and successful we can be. If we approach adversities wisely our hardest times can be of greatest growth that in time can lead to greatest happiness."

If you didn't get a chance to listen to it, it's definitely worth your time. Go here to find the videos from both sessions.

four for friday

I'm up. I don't know why I'm up, but I really shouldn't be surprised. It's been like this all week long for me. I can't quite figure out why I've been sleeping so badly. It's frustrating, but all and all I think I'm dealing with it pretty well during the day considering how wasted I feel by the end.

1. While laying in bed before I finally got up this morning I remembered my friend Melissa emailed me about the Making Memories warehouse sale that was happening this weekend. I went to it about 4 or 5 years ago and thought it was pretty cool, but wasn't so impressed that I went back. Now that it's been so long, and so many more products later, I think I might go take a peek to see what they have. I just checked my email again thinking it went until Saturday, but today is the last day. It's open from 10-6pm though if you want to give it a try.



2. Yesterday I started an online class at Big Picture Scrapbooking called Design you Life by Cathy Zielske. It's a class all about design and although I feel like I'm fairly familiar with design, it's not like I'm taking a painting class where I don't know anything, I couldn't help but get a chance to learn from one of my all time favorite scrapbookers. When I listen to what she has to say and I see her work I know I'm where I'm suppose to be. I love design and hope this will be my first official of many design classes I'll take (I'd really love to go back to school in a few years and get a graphic design degree). I think registration is still open until sometime next week so if you're interested go here.

3. My friend Tami and I have been emailing back and forth about whether or not you can get the LDS conferences as a podcast. I thought there would have to be a way to at least get the archives, but wasn't so sure about the conference this weekend. Well, as it turns out Tami sent me the link this morning that has the conferences and a few other LDS podcasts. Just click on the conference link and it will open up itunes store where you can get a subscription. Anyway, it has podcasts of conference talks as far back as 2004 all the way to apr 2008. I'm really excited to have these on my ipod now. Thanks Tami for finding it.

4. This week I took on Ali Edwards challenge to document my life. I remember way back in 2005 when she was teaching a week in your life class at CKU and I always wanted to do it. In fact I printed the pdf packet from creating keepsakes that told you everything you needed to know, but I never did do it so this time I decided it was a must. Right now I would give anything to have a piece of what my life was like back in 2005 because today they are vastly different.

















Ok with that said, this project has not been all flowers and sunshine for me. In the beginning I had a hard time, I rarely remembered to take pictures of things, and I was almost irritated that I had to (as if someone was making me). It wasn't until about Wednesday that it all started to click and I enjoyed the process of documenting my life. I embraced the fact that I basically did some of the same things everyday and just allowed myself to appreciate how a similar task can be a little different each day. It really has made me see my life differently, enjoy what it is I do, and see how all of those pieces together make my days unique. I'm realizing this is going to be a lot of work from start to finish, but I know the end result will be totally worth it. You should try it.

peek-a-boo camera

is what she called the game and it kept her and I occupied for most of the time we spent waiting for Tess and Bella's dance classes to get over.








[a few of my wins]

It goes something like this...she would sit behind me moving from side to side trying not to get captured by the camera and without looking I had to point the camera on either side to get a shot of her. It actually turned out to be a fun game because a) I got to get some funny pictures of her and b) she giggled the entire time (love her laugh). Once Tess was done with dance she got in on the action too, but proved to be much better at it than Meg.

Happy Birthday Amy!

looking like fall...at least in the mountains

"I moved a lot when I was young & I still ache a bit at the thought of all those autumns in new & unfamiliar landscapes." -story people

This quote reminds me so much of my Adam since he loves every bit of fall and moved around a lot as a kid. I often wonder what it was like for him to see autumn in so many different places when my autumns have all looked a like.





I took my family on a scouting trip with me last night. We headed a mile up the road to a trail head I'm doing a photo shoot at next week so I could check out the light etc. It was a lot of fun to just roam around finding trail after trail wondering where it would take us to next. The girls were getting a kick out of deciding which direction to go all the while I'm trying to make sure we can find our way back.




[I didn't take a lot of pictures of us, I mean look at us we are come as is, but I did make everyone stop on the way out so we could do a family sp.]

It was absolutely beautiful up there and wish the color would stay for months instead of days. I love to look up at the mountains and see the color, but love more getting lost in it. I made Adam promise we would come back if the weather permitted this weekend, but I didn't have to even ask. He would have slept there if I would have let him.