12of12 | May

I don't think I've ever been out of town on the 12th so it was fun for me to have a different view.


click here to enlarge

01. flowers in the yard
02. talking the morning away
03. we hit Barnes & Noble during our shopping outings
04. oatmeal for breakfast...totally hit the spot
05. my morning walk/run. it was one of the most fragrant exercises i've ever had.
06. a stop by the chocolate shop is definitely a must
07. delicious Mexican for lunch.
08. more shopping at TJ Maxx
09. found this cool fence while running
10. the four of us enjoying a sweet break
11. more springiness
12. native plants from this desert landscape

If you played along don't forget to share with mr. linky below. Looking forward to seeing what you guys came up with this month. Have a great day.

It's the 12th!

I guess when you're out of town you really do put your normal activities aside. I almost forgot it was the 12th. Thank goodness for phone reminders and unwanted 6am wake up calls.

I hope the rest of you didn't forget, but just in case here's your reminder to have your camera on hand and ready to capture your day. If this post confuses you check out the "what is 12of12?" link on my sidebar.

Have a great one. Looking forward to seeing what you come up with.

xoxo
Amy

Sent from my iPhone

no one perfect way...

"There is no one perfect way to be a good mother. Each situation is unique. Each mother has different challenges, different skills and abilities, and certainly different children...What matters is that a mother loves her children deeply and, in keeping with the devotion she has for God and her husband, prioritizes them above all else." ~Elder M. Russell Ballard

[self portrait | 8 May]

There have been many years where the weight of motherhood pressed heavily on me. I never felt like a good mother. Never felt I measured up to this sacred roll I was given. I've definitely grown a lot as a woman and mother these last 10 years. I'm not perfect, never going to be perfect, and I no longer feel the pressure that I have to be. I love my three girls completely and that love is what motivates me to do my best and keep going even when I think I can't. Bella sent me an email a few months ago asking me, "Is it hard being a mother?" It really made me think. I didn't know what to say so I told her the truth. Motherhood is the most challenging, yet greatest thing I've ever done in my life. I wouldn't change it for anything.

I am who I am today because of them and what they've taught me. Girls I love you more than words can express and I thank God daily that they're mine forever.

I love girls.
I love you mom.


Happy Mother's Day to all you mothers out there fighting the good fight!

fun run | 2010

Do you look forward to the fun run every year as much as me? Ha. I don't know what it is, but I love this little race the school puts on. Maybe it's because in the past it's been the source of several life lessons. Whatever the reason I so enjoy watching each of them approach the race differently.

Bella






Bella's come to an age where she's saying things like, "I know I'm not good at running". She knows running is not her thing, however, while it may be true right now that doesn't mean she can't be. We go through the conversion that you are only good at what you do everyday and leave it at that because she knows this. I think she says it because she doesn't love to run and has resigned herself to being OK with not finishing in the top ten. "We cannot all come in first, but we can all do are best", I tell her. "Just do your best." I know that sounds cheesy, but our best doesn't guarantee that we will come in on top. It does, however, guarantee that we can be proud of ourselves for our efforts.

Despite all these thoughts of being a runner or not I know she always tries her hardest and no matter what place she comes in, she always enjoys the race. Bella you were amazing today. Love you!

Tess






Tess likes a competition, but she likes a competition when she knows it's something she can do. Ha, sound familiar? I get discouraged that she'll so quickly walk away when she knows she's not good at something. I wish she would have a little bit more of Bella's spirit and enjoy it no matter what...hopefully it will come more with age. Tess is probably the most athletic of the bunch. She enjoys the fun run and for good reason...she's always done well. This year it was more of a challenge, she ended up slowing down for a bit and walking, but then picked it back up at the end and was able to come in 9th. Great Job Tess! Love your guts.

Megan




Megan, she doesn't really think, she just does. She doesn't wait for someone to tell her she can or can't, she just goes for it. The girls got confidence. I love this about her and wish it would rub off on me. She's a good runner, I know this. I watch her race the kids from carpool, all boys, up the hill to school and she's right there with them keeping pace. I was looking forward to her first fun run. She started out strong and when she started to fall behind picked up the pace and was coming in fourth.


Then she got distracted. About 5 feet from the finish line she looked over at her friend and then...




she went down.


I was so sad for her. It had been an exciting race to see her come from the middle of the pack to fourth, however, when she went down she didn't hesitate to get herself up and continue to the end. She definitely had the best attitude.


She showed no signs of being upset. She had a lot of fun and really enjoyed her popsicle at the end. In truth, that was probably her goal from the beginning anyway. Way to go Megan! I hope you will always have this positive attitude.

So there you have it. Another year, another fun run. I can't believe we are down to days left of school. Crazy how time flies.

everyday randoms

I've mentioned before that Adam's been spending a lot more of his time sketching. I do love to see him drawing again, but really love that it's encouraging the girls to do it as well.


Helped Hannah start boxing up her house last week. Can't tell you house sad I am to see her go.


This is a tame version of what it usually looks like right inside our door. Add a couple for pairs of shoes, food wrappers, and more jackets and we're good.


I love that it's this time again....


and this time. Hopefully it will start feeling like it for more than a day.


My friend was really struggling on Sunday so I snatched up her kids so she could have some alone time to sort things out. I think they liked our version of Sunday cookies.


This is one of my favorite trees in our yard. I think I'm biased because it's right outside my studio window and every time I look up there it is.


Went to the Beehive Bazaar last night. I had fun, but really just enjoyed the company of Jenica and Amy. I seemed to be more interested in the way the vendors presented their creations than the creations themselves. I do respect all the work that goes into pulling something like that off though.

ta ta for now.

a day of dance

Both Megan and Tess had their dance performance today. Even though, I sort of knew what to except I always love to watch them give it there all and enjoy the reward after they've worked so hard.




i'm not sure why she keeps doing this face, but it cracks me up.











sadly I forgot to bring my telephoto lens for her performance so I couldn't get in close. I know I'm a sap, but her solo made me teary. She was so beautiful.

us

Bella is listening intently to what Adam has to say about the Mayan's, we're watching Cracking the Mayan Code, while Megan is stuck to my side doing her best to talk over her dad in attempt to get her two cents in and Tess is somewhere in her own world.

i love us.

monday gratitude

My friend Amy had a gratitude Friday and it reminded me that it's been far too long since I've had one of my own.

-a husband who will listens to me & talks about anything and everything
-affectionate children
-patience
-life changing experiences
-wisdom of others
-being at the right place at the right time
-experiences that allow you to meet people you never would have
-long distance relationships are possible
-last minute lunch dates
-being able to help a friend
-triangle boxes
-a good night rest



-the smell of books
-after school snacks...for me
-play dates
-a blank book ready to be filled
-checking things off my list
-renewed commitment to long term goals
-new art (kid and Adam) to hang on the board
-an idea for dinner
-empty laundry baskets
-fhe = spending the night together

answers

Have you ever found yourself somewhere you knew you were suppose to be? That's what Woman's Conference was for me. I've never gone and I probably wouldn't have been there this year if I hadn't had the opportunity to present. I keep wondering how much my speaking had to do with making sure I was in the seats listening to Sister Becks talk. Talk about being in the right place at the right time. She answered my prayer as if I had asked her the question myself. It was a perfect way to start my Woman's Conference experience and another reminder that God is mindful of each one of us. I am so grateful I was there, listening.

I didn't get nearly all that I wanted to and probably got a lot of half thoughts, but here are my notes for what it's worth.

-I feel a great urgency for us to strengthen and lift not just the family, friends, ward members, but the world.
-If stand strong we will be safe.

What it means to serve the Lord
-What is your mission?
-Taking care of our children takes precedence over all other things.
-We have the power to know God's will for us.
-The vision of our family is the vision of our purpose before the Lord.
-Each of us is important to our time/generation to the success of the house of Israel.
-We come from Royal blood.
-When we choose we have power in our house.
-Power is limited to what we'll allow.
-We must prioritize so that we're focusing on what's most important.
-The power to receive revelation is the greatest gift we can have.
-Being able to feel the Lord's spirit and influence is the best education we can have.

How do we choose to walk with God
-We have to know our responsibilities and how to fill those.
-Seek and help others in need.
-We will be tried and it's our network that will be the ones to help us.
-If you believe it will and can happen.
-What you teach and do in the home must be important to you.
-We must prioritize so that we're focusing on what's most important.
Essential Things: know the mind and will of God. (Prayer, scripture study, share the gospel, give service, attend the temple.
Necessary Things: make a home where the Spirit can dwell (Make mealtimes a place a togetherness and teaching, smile, be a comfort to your husband, lay aside things of the worlds, be self-reliant).
Nice Things: all the extra stuff. (Lunch with girl friends, pleasure reading, hobbies.)-We can't do all things at once.
-Nothing can = a visiting teacher. They should be first responders.
-Relief Society is parallel to the Priesthood.
-Read Book of Mormon with the questions; Who am I? What are my responsibilities? How do I fulfill those?
-Doing this (above) will lead you onto the road of discovery.
-We don't always see the outcome of our efforts.
-Our lives are an investment.
-If we serve God His spirit will be with us.

here one day, gone the next

I wish I could sit down and write out to you what this experience truly meant to me. It's been such a spiritual emotional roller coaster. It's a weird feeling to spend so much time thinking, preparing, and anticipating for this one moment and then for it to be over in a flash.

When I sat down yesterday after speaking I thought I would feel a huge relief. Everything I had worked for had finally come to it's conclusion and I was expecting this unbelievable high...the feeling that it's over, I can finally move on. That feeling was not immediate like I had anticipated and it took me some time to understand why. This day has been a long time coming and didn't think I would be sad to see it end. Not that I have any desire to do it again, I don't believe speaking is my thing, but I know it was a learning experience I wouldn't have been able to get any other way. I'm so, so grateful for it and have this ping of sadness to see it gone. I can say that now that it's over.

Even with some of the insecurities I faced afterward, it was a wonderful day start to finish.


[I took several of us walking through campus to the Varsity Theater, but for some reason I really loved this out of focus one.]

I was able to spend the morning/afternoon with Adam up until it was time to present. If there's anyone you want to spend time with moments before, it's him. He has a very calming effect and it worked like magic. The only thing I wish we had had time for was to visit some of our old haunts on campus.



Can you believe I took a self portrait? I can't really when I think back on it. Jill told me I should, but I never thought I would have the guts. When I see the picture I'm so glad I did. I love looking at it now and remembering the comforting feeling I had looking out over the sea of people and seeing so many familiar faces. I can't tell you how grateful I am to each of you who came. It makes talking so much easier when you know those in the audience love and support you. Also thank you to everyone who sent me your thoughts throughout this whole process. When others believe in you it's so much easier to believe in yourself.

So now what? Preparing for Woman's Conference felt like a protective bubble and while it didn't protect me from the everyday responsibilities of my life, it protected me from myself, from my own grand ideas. There are so many things I want to do and accomplish. So many ideas rattling around in my head and sadly many of them stand by waiting for the perfect time to start. Woman's Conference gave me the best excuse, I don't have time for XYZ right now, but after I will have all the time in the world. Now that I'm faced with all the time in the world I'm feeling a bit intimidated. Ha. So much for taking my own advice...it really is the doing that the hardest part. Don't I know that better than anyone.

So my mind is getting ahead of me, as per usual. Luckily I don't feel the need to move away so quickly. I am savoring the moment and appreciating it for what it is...another life experience that is helping me become, me.

calmness

I went down to Woman's Conference today so I could attend the prayer meeting. I felt it when I walked into the room and saw all the other presenters actively talking...my emotions heightened, the butterflies hit. It became real.

You wouldn't believe it then when I say how calm I feel right now. Peaceful. It's a welcome feeling especially since I started this journey feeling so uncertain.



I guess it true what they say, when you're prepared you have no need to fear. For 120 days I've thought about and sought inspiration for my presentation. I've had many afternoons at the temple, fasting and prayers, searching the scriptures and words from the prophets. There have been tears, a couple breakdowns, an unintentional loss of one draft and starting over. I've had multiple meetings with the other two woman I'm presenting with and many conversations with Adam & friends. Still with all the work that has gone into this and the hours I've spend working, it's a surreal moment to see it here. It came so fast and yet, at times, it didn't come fast enough.

Snow is falling, my bed is calling, I have just a couple revisions to make before I get off the computer for good, and still need to decide what I wearing tomorrow. Yep, still haven't figured that one out. I know crazy. But I wanted to thank all of you who are coming and to those who have sent your encouraging words. It means more to me than you will know.

Good night.

monday bullets

-Mondays just seem like a bullet point kind of day. It's the day I look at the whole of my week and add to my ever increasing to do list.
-My lists are no longer made with paper and pen, well occasionally they are, but for the most part I use 2Do. A favorite app that helps me stay organized.
-I'm finally completely done with my Woman's Conference talk. The guts of the message has been done for about a month actually, but there were a few things that didn't feel right that I kept coming back to. Yesterday evening I was finally able to figure it out. Feels good to have the final draft in my hands.
-I hear it's suppose to be cold, maybe even snow this week/weekend. Can't tell you how disappointed I am by that news.
-My two nieces, Olivia and Ashley, slept over Friday night. We met up with Robyn at the mall to hand over Olivia so they could spend the afternoon together celebrating their birthdays. Adam and I were left with Megan and Ashely which seemed like a manageable group, but had the ability to remind us how easy we have it now that we're at the tail end of little kids. It was an enjoyable outing even though they had the ability to walk in front of every person in a hurray and their attempts to play hide and seek were thwarted by their giggles.


-Here they are shopping with us at the boutique Lucille Elaine. Adam took this photo while I was trying on a dress. The two of them were trying their best to behave because there was a table full of cookies and cupcakes tempting them. I wish I had had one myself, Adam said the cupcakes were day changing.
-A really great show started last night on the history channel called, America the Story Of Us. It's all about America's beginnings. From what I have seen it's not only really well made, but it's a great reminder that our country beat the odds because of the determination of the people. I think it's a 12 hour mini series so start recording it now.

earth day outing

I didn't realize until after our outing that it was earth day today so how serendipitous that despite the cold wet weather Megan and I spent the late morning hours at one of our favorite outdoor spots.

I don't think I've ever been up there in spring and while I was hoping for a little bit more foliage, maybe a wild blossom or two, there was some life. The grasses, which will soon turn to long weeds were already growing rampantly and the tender small leaves at the tops of the trees were beginning to bud. It was a bit muddy and messy at parts, but we had an enjoyable time.






While we were getting ready to go she said, "Mom I'm gunna bring my scrapbook and draw what I see while you take pictures."

my "willing" helper

Why is it that she's willing to do the dishes, happily, when cleaning up her room or putting away her clean clothes creates uncontrollable tears? Makes me wonder how long before doing the dishes will bring on the same set of tears?

You'll hear no complaints from me, however, I'm loving the happy help while it lasts.

spt | give me a break

There are a lot of things I will turn to when I have a bit of time to relax...reading, catching up with blogs, taking photos, a nap, lunch with a friend, but most of them, like a pedicure, isn't something I can do all the time. I usually don't have that much time or $ so I find myself doing the next best thing...plopping myself down on the couch and enjoying a bit of chocolate. It's rare these days that I just get to sit down and do nothing so when I can, I do. The quiet gives me the rejuvenation I need to keep going or it could be the caffeinated chocolate. Whatever the reason it works, that is, if it's only for a few minutes. Any longer and I'm bound to fall asleep, and well, midday naps don't always end well.