I'm not sure how I feel about Monday holidays

I use to really enjoy them, having Adam home and doing something different than the normal Monday routine, but now I find myself knee deep with stuff to do because it's already half way through the week. I really can't complain I mean instead of doing what I need to do I'm busy doing stuff I've been wanting to for a long time now. It's my own fault for being so behind.

Another thing I feel so behind in is blogging. So much to tell and so little time it seems.

I still want to share with you a little about Tess and her birthday and how much fun memorial day was.


One of the things I made time for yesterday and probably shouldn't was this art display project for my girls that I've wanted to do for a year and a half now. A little late in the year I know, seeing how school is just getting out, but I'm sure we'll do a lot of summer art. I saw the idea in a magazine and then actually in person on Crystalyn's wall. I'm happy with it though not so sure about the bow. I did it to hide the ugly long screws.

I also received some very thoughtful mail from Kim last week. The "A" and the book are so beautiful, but it was the words in her card that really got to me. It's amazing to me that we can make such connections over the internet. What a blessing it has been.

Oh and I have some changes to share with you...still to come.

remembering

Memorial day is always a special time for me. I love to be able to share my memories with my girls and teach them about just how lucky we are to have the gift of eternal families. Today was one of those special times where I was able to go to the cemetery with my whole family (sans jeni...miss you).



I hope you all have a wonderful memorial day. We for one are celebrating a new 5 year old. It's her birthday tomorrow and she couldn't be more excited about it. She actually asked, "Mom, what does it feel like to be five." I guess she'll soon find out.

I'm set, but not quite ready

It came. The one thing that would potential keep me from going on my trip has arrived. It makes leaving that much more final and more of a reality.

I am going to Europe with Adam for 14 days. He surprised me with it even though we had talked about going on a cruise this year. We're going with some friends of ours to sail around the Mediterranean. We thought it would be a good way to see a lot of Europe quickly without having to worry about transportation. The only thing I'm not thrilled about is not getting to spend multiple days in one city, but if it's something I love, I know I'll be back.

We're visiting
Madrid, Spain
Barcelona, Spain
Nice, France
Florence/Pisa, Italy
Rome, Italy
Mykonos, Greece
Ephesus, Turkey
Santorini, Greece
Athens, Greece
Naples/Capri, Italy

I must admit I had several reservation about going in the beginning. It's so far away and I didn't know that I could leave my girls for so long. It's just so much to ask someone to do. Lucky for us Jill said she'd be willing to take our 3 and so I leave with total confidence.

Now I'm itching to go. I mean I can almost not wait I'm so excited to leave. The things I'm looking forward to the most are:

1) being with Adam for so long alone. I reminded him that we would be eating 42 meals without anyone complaining about the food...unheard of.

2) Finding myself in the cities, getting lost with my camera in the beautiful surroundings. Does it get any better than the sites of the ancient world?

3) The food. I cannot wait to taste each country.

So now that I have my passport I think I have everything I need. I think. Honestly if you have any advice for me for European travel or crusing please share. So far I've bought nothing for my trip. I heard Jenn say, in Paris at least, if you wear jeans you were a teenager. But what if I want to wear jeans? I think I also need to bring some sort of "formal" dress for the ship which I am not to happy with. Hmm. I think I have a lot of work to do. Please share any tips. I feel like I'm not ready at all.

she wrote

She was given an assignment at school to just starting writing about herself. Not to worry about mistakes, it was the first draft, just write freely about you. This is what she brought home.

"My name is Bella. I like to Play with figure toys. Figure toys are hard plastic people and animals. My birthday is March 24th. My favorite sport is swimming. When I was a baby one Sunday we were eating lunch. I was always tired so that day I put my head in my food. I am 7 years old now and I know better and I have 2 sisters and 0 brothers. It's very fun with no brothers. My family is the best family. My sister is curious about stuff. Her name is Tess M. She is the funniest sister I ever had. When I play with her she always wanted to be a person toy. She last night kept turning on the lights. My other sister is named Megan M. She is two years old and she is potty trained. She is also funny. My cousins are named Whitney and Landon. They are also funny. There are a lot of funny family members."

thinking, always thinking

I've been thinking about my girls. Do they know I love them? Are they getting what they need? Do they feel understood? Are they happy?


I've been thinking about Adam. Does he know how much I love him? Does he know I need/want him? Is he getting what he needs from me? What can I do better for us? Does he feel understood? Are we continuing to grow?

I've been thinking about me. Where am I now? Where am I headed? What's my purpose? Am I growing? Am I making changes? Am I living? Am I choosing to be happy? What could I do better? Am I too selfish? Am I helping others? Am I doing? Giving? What are my priorities?

Needless to say the last couple of weeks, the empty spaces that are filling my blog are due to my constant thoughts. The mere exhausting of unanswered questions keeps me away. Desperately wanting more from myself and getting so frustrating with my own tendencies. I know I'm a very strong woman which frustrates me because it seems like every time I go into battle it's the same battle I've been fighting for years.

I guess you could say I do this about every 3 months or so, evaluate my life and wonder where I stand. Am I really turning into the person I want to be? That's where the disappointment comes in. The woman I see is not the woman I know I should be or the woman I dream of becoming. I know it can't happen overnight. Life is a process full of steps and I'm no fool to think I will be where I want in one. I guess I'm disappointed to see myself fall off the path or stop progressing completely. I know there is much more inside me. More work. More pleasure. More growth. More love.

Yesterday while at stake conference I received my answer, a confirmation to the thoughts I've been having. The stake president said (and I paraphrase), "It is in this world, our earthly life, that we have the chance to change ourselves and help others do the same. To improve upon the person we are and build our character. As said in Alma 41, in the next life we will be restored to the person that we are today, good for good, evil for evil. It is now that we must develop and form our character while we have the opportunity to do so. Are we truly becoming new and sanctified creations this gospel plan is design to help us become?"

Powerful words that really hit home to me, especially yesterday with so much on my mind concerning where I am, how much I have or have not grown and what more I need to do. It's the dauntingness (don't think I can say that) of the task that always makes it harder for me to get up in the morning. Knowing that the goal is so far ahead that it's almost impossible to reach becomes the focus instead of the goal. My tendencies, my battle is giving up before I've even tried. 5pm yesterday I won that battle. Try I must. Try I will. And although I know I'll be here again, I know I will be one step closer to the goal because I took that step.

mail randomness

Can I tell you how long I've been waiting for this...a little over ten years. To be honest I never thought this day would come. An IKEA in my city virtually unbelievable. Well it's happening and it's all I can do to keep myself from going to the grand opening. I know it will be crazy so I'll wait just a bit before I take the plunge.


Some thoughtful mail to report. Natash thanks for the darling mother's day gift. Totally made week last week. Tasha thanks for thinking of me and sending me the book "Twelve Sisters". Looking forward to reading it. Crystalyn thank you for sending me a decorated "a" to go with my collection of a's and a sm frame of the photos I had taken. Love the reminder.

Also thank you to Melanie for the awesome mother's day quote. I loved it. It's such a great reminder to me I have it in my kitchen so I can see it often.

Ladies thank you so much. I know that just doesn't seem like enough for the joy it brought into my life the last few days, but what a difference it makes to know someone has thought about you.

back from a break

I was lucky to get a quick weekend getaway to St. George to visit my parents newly built house. It was a quick few days, but I felt like I got a lot of good quality family time.
Swimming.
Golfing (boys). Enjoying breakfast outside in the warmish morning air with my girls on mother's day (yes, I let dad sleep in so he wouldn't be tired driving home).
Tea parties. Good conversation while watching the sunset fade, not to forget the 8 hours in the car.

Really it was exactly what I needed to replenish my spirit, but didn't know it until driving home yesterday when I knew I was ready to get back into the rush of life.

I am still in a daze that school ends in a mere 3 weeks. Not to mention a birthday on the way for my 4 turning 5 year old. Oh yeah and a big European trip to get ready for. Life does move to fast. I remember a time I couldn't wait for this crazy time to pass and as I've been packing up all the winter cloths and getting ready for the summer today I just want it to slow down a bit so I can soak it all up. I don't feel I've done that great a job enjoying the craziness the last 7 years, but I am determined to make the rest of 2007 move at a gentle pace.

clear blue sky

Life is good.

I have nothing to complain about, well, I guess I can think of a few things.

But despite trying to be optimistic I have had a very rough week. The kind where I don't quite feel myself. Like I'm in some type of time warp and I can't get myself back to the here and now. It has been really hard on me and I find myself in pensive state.

And when I feel this way I pull away. I hide. Retreat. I can't deal with myself and the world seems so much more daunting. I have thought many times about blogging, but what does complaining do? I didn't want to feel validated I wanted to feel myself, to get to that point I felt good again, where I felt I was giving instead of pulling others down with me.

Today I can see the light. I never know where comes or how it goes, but how grateful I am when it leaves me. I attribute a lot of my changing state to the friends who have contacted me in the last few days, who have given me something with each interaction. I was reading the January ensign yesterday about service and how allowing others to serve you is Heavenly Father's way of helping you. I had never really thought about it that way, but it makes so much sense. To someone like me who resists help, thinking surely I can do it without, just realized I was resisting the answers I was seeking. So thank you to those who have taken your time for me. For offering whether I took you up on it or not. It has meant more to me than you will know.

So here is to better days. For happy days. For rainbows and clear blue skies. To good light and air conditioned homes. Here's to life and to good friends.

full heart

I have a full heart today, and for no particular reason. This week I have been alone a lot, alone in my thoughts, and have had a lot to think about. I took this photo while in San Diego last week. I remember this particular flower catching my eye growing among hundreds of already bloomed flowers. It had no reason in the world to be confident and yet when I saw it it oozed confidence to me. That despite the fact that it was still in a vulnerable place it knew it would one day bloom and be just as beautiful as the rest.

As I look at this photo again I remind myself of just how beautiful we all are and how much we have to offer each other in this life. No matter where we find ourselves we all have something valuable to share that each of us can benefit from.

Today I feel grateful, loved, blessed for the amazing individuals in my life...for sharing themselves and giving me a safe place to be me.

blue glow

Monday night after FHE while Adam was walking on the tredmill I saw this...

My three littles with the blue glow of the tv watching a movie surprisingly eating a healthy snack...carrots.

It makes me so happy to see them this way together being quiet enjoying each other.

San Diego was purely an Amy trip :)

Something I hadn't done for at least 10 years. I can't tell you how good it felt to do something for me for once. My purpose for the outing was to attend a photography workshop. It was absolutely amazing and everything I hoped it would be. It wasn't so much about technique as it was about who I am as a photographer and my style. I feel really lucky I was able to go and participate with such amazing photographers. I learned a lot from them and was amazed we all had some of the same insecurities. Baffling to see such awesome work wrapped around self doubt. I guess we all have our moments. I came away with more confidence and a better sense of what I'm communicating through my art. It was amazing.

We had a couple of days to shoot with models so just thought I would share a few of my favorites. I loved working with these darling girls.

spt - treasure

When I first read Lelly's post my first thought was of my family and particularly my relationship with my husband. I treasure what we have. What we have created together. Man I feel like a lucky girl to have him. Of course that's not the size of a deck of cards, in fact it doesn't have a size at all.

Last month I talked about my favorite necklace here and what it means to me so I've racked my brain as to what I treasure...something tangible, something small.

Ok I'm breaking the rules again. I know it's not that small, but it could be, mine just doesn't happen to be. My camera is something I treasure. Most often than not I walk around taking pictures of the world I see. I picture things in my mind and want to recreate it. How awesome that we have a device that will capture life and allow us to hold on to those moments forever. My photography is something I need...truly need each and ever day. I guess you could say that's the sole reason I don't want to go into business. I don't want to loose what I have found and fear others expectations will take that away from me. Photography is my art. An expression of myself. It's capturing that perfect moment and seeing me, the real me in my creation. It's not what others want, it's what I see and how I feel. I'm sure I could live without it (if I absolutely had to), but quite honestly I don't ever want to try.

can you believe this??

First off I have to say I have missed you all. It's been a week since I've really sat down and read anyone's blog so I totally feel out of the loop. I hate this feeling and hope you will all understand and I ease my way back in this week, since it's another crazy week.

I have of course been really busy today. When are Monday's not this way I ask? I have a strange week ahead of me so I have a lot to get done before the day ends; however, I wanted to share this with you because it's pretty cool.

A couple weeks ago I got an email from Gabrielle, the design mom herself, who runs the website Design Mom. She asked me to be a guest mom and to post for a week on her site. I have to say I was shocked. Completely shocked. I found her cool site thanks to Jordan, and have enjoyed discovering her awesome ideas, but never thought I would participate as a guest design mom. I guess you just never know what opportunities will come your way. Thanks Gabrielle!

So if you want to check out my posts this week visit designmom.com. I will throw a disclaimer out there, for those of you who have read my blog for longer than 6 months you may get some repeats, but when putting my posts together this is what I really wanted to share with a larger audience. Let me know what you think.

BTW if you've recently filed for a passport do I send my actual documentation or a photo copy? ie birth certificate and DL. I have no idea what I'm doing.

I'm not in Kansas anymore

So I'm cheating a bit on todays spt, but I sort of have a good excuse. I'm in sunny California for the next couple of days enjoying myself immensely. I could get use to this.

more to come.

creative goodness

It seems like so long since I've shared what I've been worked on, my weekly projects if you will. The reason for that is mainly because they were mostly gifts and some sadly I don't have photos of so can't share right now. I'll have to work on that.

I did finally do something for me last week that I have been meaning to do since last summer, I don't know why it always takes me so long. I saw online a very cute way to personalize your camera and I of course was all about that. I just took wide ribbon (thanks kristi the ribbon I used came from you) and sewed it onto my camera strap. Can I just say how much more I love using it now, I know crazy to imagine.

After taking those photos of Crystalyn's Thomas I put together a cd for her. There is just something about a homemade cd that looks official. Love those little toes.

I also made another accordion box for Crystalyn's bday earlier in the month. I love making these. It's such a creative way to display your photos. Something I am always looking for.

Oh and I had to share this last one. I have been asked before if I have any out takes. My answer would definitely have to be yes. It's unfortunate that she's a picker, but indeed she is.

thoughtfulness to report

On a crazy day like today I thought it would be fitting to celebrate the good mail I've received the last week or so.


I got a very sweet thank you note from Crystalyn, just love that girl, and grateful she is finally home with her family. I also got a sweet belated birthday card from Claudia. Thank you so much for thinking of me. Loved hearing from you.

I got fairy spring good mail from Amanda. I love getting these just because greeting and certainly appreciated the quote on the back.

Kelly I'm sorry I'm just getting to this now, but I just found your card under a bunch of catalogs still in it's envelope today amongst other mail. It must have been when Adam brought in the mail and got shuffled under stuff. Thank you so much for thinking of me this season. Loved your thoughts.

Katie send me a very thoughtful thank you card. I certainly hope you are doing fabulously with you new little one.

I guess it's been a good mail day, among other things that I've had to work on I was able to get some sent out. Always feels good to do that. :)

I'm such an idiot

First of all, sorry I don't have a visual to go with this post. It would have been much better with a photo, but of course when I thought about taking one it didn't happen and then it was too late.

Now on with my story.

So yesterday I went to Costco, like usual spent a pretty penny. I don't know how that always happens, but I'm grateful it's not a weekly trip. While there I decided to buy me a smaller and more compact hard drive I can take on my trip. I figured I could either spend the same amount on another flashcard with only a few GB or I could buy a 160 GB HD to use to download all my photos and then just use the same flashcard daily.

Luckily I got home without incident, which I find amazing when dealing with 3 kids at Costco. As I opened the back and looked at the plethora of items all in single packaging I felt overwhelmed as I always do when unloading a Costco trip. So first thing I did was take my newly bought HD and put it on top of my SUV to get it out of the way and proceed to move the rest of the items in the house. Adam was home at this time 5:30p helping me and after a bit we left with the kids. Well it didn't occur to me until we pulled up to the house an hour later that I had left my HD on the car.

#%$@

Are you kidding me. I hopped in the car to trace our tracks hoping to find it unharmed and ready to use. I didn't have to go far, actually it was right outside our neighborhood, off to the side. As I approached it I felt confident it was alright. Well, I couldn't have been more wrong. (enter photo...sigh.) It had probably been hit by dozens of cars and pushed off to the side. It was completely smashed. I was so mad. A hundred dollars down the drain.

Upon arriving home I thought I should call Costco just to see what their return policy was. Who knows maybe they would take it back. I felt really horrible just asking, but thought I could either throw it away or try. So I called them. The guy on the phone told me he couldn't guarantee anything over the phone so since I had a RS meeting at 8pm I just decided to leave and do that before.

I must say I felt like a complete idiot bringing this large obviously damaged package into the store when I had just been there 2 hours before. The guy at the return desk just about died when he saw the package, but luckily had already spoken to me so wasn't completely shocked. He had to call over his manager to see if they would return it. Well, not one, but two managers made their way over. I was really embarrassed listening to them repeat over and over, "it fell off the car and got run over". Then one of the managers looked at me and said sort of in a mocking wasn't sure if he was kidding way, "who fault is this, is it our fault?" I just look at him in disbelief and said, "yeah...sigh...I'm just here to see if your return policy covers lame individuals who run over their merchandise." He gave me a smile and said they would return it. I was thrilled though must admit felt I was getting away with something, like I was bringing back a dress I had already worn that I told them I hadn't, but knew they knew I did. It's was awkward, but I'm glad I tried because I didn't loose out on $100.

So I'm curious...would you have taken it back or lost out on $100?

6 words

Winter has come back with a vengeance.Seriously can you believe the snow we got? If you can't tell there should be grass behind her.


In other news I went to Bella's school this afternoon to see her in the1st grade spring program. I'm not even sure what it was about, but it was hilarious to watch. Bella was much more animated (see photos) then I have ever seen her before. I must admit I was a tad embarrassed, but was more delighted she was enjoying herself immensely even in front of a crowd...so not like her. It's amazing to see how far she has come socially.

Anyway, I guess I don't have more to say. Other than dealing with Megan's no nap, due to the program, and waiting for Adam to return home from San Deigo. I guess it's been one of those weird days where I have a lot to do, but didn't get much done. Oh well, thank goodness there is always tomorrow.

SPT $100 to spend

This is a bit of a challenge for me because number1 if I received $100 I would most likely not spend the money on cloths. It's not that I don't like cloths or don't want to be stylish, I'm just not a huge cloths shopper. Perhaps it's because when I do try to shop for cloths I am always drawn to t-shirts and I certainly don't need more or everything I love is so expensive I just can't bare to spend the money. Bottom line I go through stages when I really want to shop for cloths, like now that I'm going on a big trip, I want something new, something fun, and other times I just don't care because really I don't like to spend money on cloths.

Number 2 I am a hoarder. The truth is out and the thing I hoard most is money. I don't know if I do it on some strange subconscious level to save or that I know the item I want most exceeds the $100 range. Whatever the case the money would mostly be hidden until I had forgotten about it only to find it months later feeling totally rich. This in fact has happened before and it's such a delight to find and realize that the thing I want most is now a possibility.

But if we consider the challenge, which is a supposed $100 to spend on clothing, I would do one of two things.
I am a jeans and t-shirt kind of gal. I would say 99.1% of the time you will find me in a pair of jeans (american eagle these days) and a fitted t-shirt. As much as I like to branch out when I do go shopping I have this strange pull toward the t-shirts. It's my comfort and it's what I like most. Boring to some, classic to me. I tend to only buy jeans when my favorites are worn and old. I do in fact wear them to the very end. When I find something I love it's hard to replace so only do it when it's totally necessary (hence the photo of the tattered jeans).

Now there are those rare opportunities when I am looking for something different (this is always my intention but it doesn't always happen) where I will spend the entire amount on one garment. If I find something I simply can't live without then the money is gone in one shot. I always do have some sort of buyers remorse, but quickly get over it as the delight in wearing it surpasses the guilt.

So there you have it, my not so love affair with cloths, however, I do and will always love the classic jean and t-shirt combo. I really can't get enough.

Going about my normal monday routine

...cleaning, laundry etc., and came across my littlest one dancing along to Bella Dancerella.
She does ask to do this all the time, but I guess I've never watched. A mistake I won't soon forget. Glad I was able to catch her this time. I stopped and watched for a while and boy was she into it. I think we've created a monster.

And then there was this (click to enlarge).


I couldn't resist posting this, it was just too funny. So funny I couldn't help laughing in front of poor Tess who put her hands over my mouth to get me to stop. I in know way meant to be insensitive, but I simply couldn't help myself.

When the girls walked in the door from school I was downstairs and heard Tess crying. Bella was very irritated and said, "Tess you don't have to cry just because you got puked on!" I wondered what in the world she was talking about so I made my way to them.

I took one look at Tess and couldn't help laughing, it wasn't so much at her or the incident because I didn't know what happened, but her teachers had put her in a interesting set of sweat pants. She just looked funny and you could tell totally distraught by what happened at school. I hugged her tight, so as not to get caught laughing, which was when the trying to cover my mouth occurred. Once I was able to composed myself I asked what happened. She told me her and two other friends were on a tired swing spinning really fast, when it stopped her friend puked all over her. What are the chances?

Did you check out the notice that came home with her bagged up puked on cloths. I love the line written in that read, "Tess was in the way of an accident :(". That made me laugh again. Tell me I'm not the only one who finds this funny. I am sure having a hard time not laughing as I type this.

I think she's ok now due to the popsicle and immediate change of cloths and hope she is forgiving of all the laughing I did.

Man, don't you just love how motherhood brings surprises each and every day.

new calling

I probably shouldn't have titled my post that way as it is a bit misleading. I have not been released from the YW program, but have been given a new set of responsibilities that I'm actually unsure of at this moment, like the blind is leading the blind.

A few weeks ago Adam told me after church that we were given a calling and yet it was only issued to him. Strange. To be completely honest I didn't know why they had to issue it as a calling. Whatever the reason we find ourselves in a leader type position, a role I'm not so eager to have.

Our stake is really big on being prepared as a community and they have asked us to be the emergency neighborhood coordinator for 14 house on our street. I had no idea what this would mean and all I kept thinking was, first what are they doing asking a young family to be in charge of other families, and secondly how can I help someone when most likely I won't be able to help myself. Though I speak big about being prepared I would say I am with the majority and feel I have a long way to go. Plus, do they have any idea how I will be in an emergency situation. I like to think I will surprise myself and rise above, but if my kids are in school I can't imagine I will be concerned about other families when I'll want to go find them. I know that sounds harsh, but true. Right? Won't our minds be on getting our kids, if they're ok, etc.

Anyway, we had our first meeting tonight at the stake center to find out once and for all what our actually duties would be. I came home feeling a little bit more calm. In a couple of weeks we are going to be having a mock emergency where we're to place a white towel on our mailbox if we are OK (we have done this before and it seemed to work great, but all I had to do was put the towel on my mailbox). This is where Adam and I come in. We need to go around to each house looking for the towel and if we don't see it we need to assess the situation and provide the information to our command center who will in turn get a triage unit to the location. These CRT trained individuals all live in the neighborhood and are close. It's really an amazing thing the community has set up and really hope families are willing to help/participate to make it work or I will be knocking on a lot of doors.

I am grateful our stake/community is taking this serious and doing what they can to be prepared in an emergency. It is also giving me another push to get my house in order and keep up with my goals, which are easily lost as day to day life invades. My family went to bed early this evening and I have been doing a lot of research on food storage and preparedness of which I will share with you in the coming weeks. It does seem a bit overwhelming, but feel if done a little at a time it truly is doable.

letting go of the funk

I feel like I have a lot to share and then nothing at all. It's a strange conundrum really. Don't know what to make of it.

This week has been a strange week. Not bad just one of those weeks where I feel I'm in a creative funk. I never know where it comes from, but I feel sort of zapped, like a need a break. I have been trying to talk myself into working on Bella's reading bench cover, but I simply cannot, I just don't have it in me, so I have been good to myself and taken the break I need.

So instead of being creative I have given reading (mags & textbooks) a lot my attention to find my way back, searching for inspiration where I can. I have also been organizing my photos. I go in spurts I guess where each month I am really good about saving to discs, deleting bad photos, and ordering prints. Don't get me wrong after my HD scare I save my photos to CDs every time I download photos onto my computer, but I'm not so diligent at ordering prints. I don't think I have ordered prints all year. One of the one things I don't like about digital is not having prints on hand at all times. My goal has been to upload and print my images every month, but obviously that hasn't happen and now it's just more thing begging to get completed.

Sigh.

This is where my hands usually fly up in the air and I think, "it's too much work, I simply can't get it done so why try". Despite my funky feeling I am pushing through so I can reach my goal and there won't be more work the longer I wait. Isn't that the kicker anyway. It never goes away, just continues to pile on top of one another until we finally get to it.

I guess you could say that about everything in life. In relationships, goals, laundry, books to read, our lists, dishes, etc etc. The list could go on and on, but you get my point. Things must be dealt with. I can walk over a pile for weeks, but when I finally just sort through the mess how much better I feel. It would be good for me to finally get that.

Anyway, enough of that. Here are a few photos I found while sifting through them this last week that didn't catch my eye before, but certainly did this time.

Have a great weekend!!

i love home

Today has been one of the crazy errand days. I actually hate running errand so I try to do it all in one day, but when I left I didn't plan on where just one place would take me.

A few weeks ago I realized my driver's license has been expired since my birthday. I'm fearful it will cause problems at the airport or when getting my passport so I set out today to take care of it. I figured since I was out I would go get a copy of my birth certificate since I can't find it, plus I never did get a copy of Megan's. Anyway, I wasn't really happy about any of this and for sure was not keen on taking Tess and Megan with me. Long lines are never fun with kids. So per Adam's suggestion I took our portable DVD player for the kids to watch while we waited. Can I just say it worked like a charm. They had a set of head phones to share so they weren't disturbing anyone in the least. It went smooth, except the fact that I traded in my cute DL photo for a much worse one. Bummer.

While I was there the woman told me my SSN doesn't match my name. I guess I never took care of changing it when I got married 10 years ago. Fearing that will also be a problem when trying to get my passport I figured I should just do that today too. UGH!

So when I was done at the DL office I headed to get my birth certificate. I couldn't find the place, but other than that it was just another thing to cross off my list. Thank goodness it was empty and took no time at all.

Next to the SSN office. During my travels I ended up getting pulled over by a police officer who informed me he had been following me for quite a while. Nice. I bet I looked like a fool. Then he tells me his records show that I don't have car insurance, which is simply not true. He did eventually believe me I mean come on I did have proof (it's too long of a story to get into). Man I am grateful I just got my license renewed as I'm sure that would have become an issue too.

I did eventually make it to the SSN office, but when I walked in there was literally like 50 people waiting in line or in the provided seating. I took one look at the place and just turned around and walked out. It wasn't a necessity so figured why go through the hassle of waiting so long when all I wanted to do was go home.

As I was leaving I realized how close I was to Costco and I should just get my passport photos taken. I mean I was out and thought I was looking pretty good. What is it about photos? I could look in the mirror and think I look great and then they show me the photo and I can't believe my eyes. It's a shame these are the photos that are attached to our personal documents we are forced to carry around. Oh well.

It was crazy to see how one thing led to another (like the post jill did about the book "when you give a mouse a cookie") and although I am never keen on doing those types of things I am so glad to be home and have it done. And I'm not even irritated about the ticket. It's a good day...just busy.

FYI...I heard from Crystalyn today and her little Thomas is in the hospital ICU with rsv (hope she's ok with me sharing). It sounds like a crazy sleepless night. Just thought I would let you know so you can keep them in your prayers.

spt - easter

When I was little the thing I looked forward to the most in the spring was a new Easter dress. My family didn't have money and so most everything I wore was a hand me down of my sisters, who is 5 years older than me, but my Easter dress as far as I can remember was a new special treat just for me. It was always a delight to wear to church on Easter morning.

The older I got it seemed that tradition happened less and less. I remember one year when there wasn't a dress, instead my mom told me and my sister she had a special gift for us. I'm not sure of my age...I was young enough to not think my mom's surprise was being pregnant like my sister thought, but old enough to be able to still wear it today. She gave us a beautiful gold CTR ring. I remember my excitement of being able to have such a beautiful reminder to choose the right. To this day I don't wear it, it's gold and my wedding ring is white gold, but I still have it and each time I look at it I think of Easter and the gift that Christ gave me and also I think of my mother. She is an amazing woman who did an excellent job raising me and my siblings. She has been through a lot as a mother, something I pray I will never have to endure, but one that has taught me about her strength and the unwavering support of the Lord. Like I said on Sunday, Easter is just another reminder of something I think about all year long, how my family can be together forever and I celebrate it with reverence and joy.

changes in our house

It was our spring break last weekend. No, we didn't do anything special like go out of town, but I must say it has been nice sleeping in for a few days not having to get up to take kids to school, too bad that all ends tomorrow. It hasn't just been good for me, I know the kids have had fun just being able to play with no obligations. I think with Bella gone all day and then homework and violin to practice they don't get to play as much as they would like. I often hear them late at night getting together and playing. It's too sweet to stop.

So here is my recap.

After asking for about a week non stop we finally decorate eggs Thursday night. It's something we always look forward to and surprisingly it's never as big a mess as I anticipate, even with Megan. This year the girls decided they wanted to put their initials on the eggs to ensure they wouldn't get mixed up (they're so big into what is theirs these days). I wish they would have mentioned it earlier and we could have put there names on with white crayons and made a very cool effect. Oh well, maybe next year.

We went to the zoo on Friday. I must admit I didn't want to go, but I sort of felt like I had to do something fun with them. So we got up early and made sure to be there when the zoo opened. This actually ended up being the best thing we could have done because when we walked out 2 hours later (yes, you read that right, I got off easy) the lines were huge and no parking was to be found. I felt extremely lucky we were on our way out and that it was such nice weather. One more thing. Does this freak anyone else out? As I was watching this cheetah walk back and forth staring at us I just kept thinking the only thing separating him from us was the glass.

Saturday was a bit tough, even though I had anticipated this event for the last several weeks, I didn't realize how hard it would be to buy Megan a big girl bed and finally after 7 year put down the crib. It is the weirdest feeling to see Megan growing up, no more diapers (she has been doing great except she doesn't want to go in public places), and moving into a big bed. I had a friend once ask me if I was ready to be done with the babies. You know I feel that I am, but when it happens I sort of have this bittersweet feeling going on. It feels wonderful to be here and yet I am sad at the same time. My family is growing up. I just don't know where the time went. With all the mixed emotions I know it means good times ahead. I look forward to what the 5 of us will experience together.

Needless to say Megan is thrilled with her new bed. I wasn't worried at all about the transition or that I would need to worry about her falling out until 1am last night when we heard a huge crashing sound followed by wailing coming from her room. I felt horrible, but grateful Adam was out of bed before I could figure out what had happened and that she was fine just scared.

I guess that brings me to Sunday. Before walking out the door to go to church I took our traditional Easter dress photo. I struggle to take photos like this, as it's rare that everyone cooperates, plus we are bound to have other friends involved (kitty and duck with Megan), but I still enjoy looking through them each year and remembering.

It was nice today when I went to my mail box and actually had mail let alone four pieces of good mail. I say that because my mail didn't come two days last week (Thursday and Saturday). This has happened before and I'm getting pretty upset by it. Anyway, Thank you to Robyn & Hannah for the nice thank you note, Lelly for the thoughtful "just because" note, and Kristi for the, once again, awesome holiday mail. Loved it. Thanks ladies for helping make my afternoon.

I hope your Monday is off to a great start. I love Mondays.